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Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only be provided for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree.

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only be provided for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree.

Some individuals claim that providing costs for researching post graduate is inadequate, therefore spending money on significant scientific research is more essential than research that can not gain specific achievements. Personally, I totally agree with this suggestion based on some reasons that are explained in this essay.
There are cogent justifications why spending money on scientific research is more vital. Money from governments will be divided into another criteria related to education, social welfare, infrastructure, so money invested for finding specific knowledges that are helpful for the development of one nation is so limited. Moreover, with the growth of science, offering costs for gaining achievements in term of science is the indispensable trend of all the nation in the global. Therefore, scientific research surprisingly play a crucial role in supporting towards many countries especially the developing nations. This can be seen in Vietnam, scientific research such as technological high-speed train are tend to create more 1% of total GDP than before.
Additionally, investing expenditures on less useful subjects could lead to the prodigality of government’s expenses and impacting on total economic growth. Especially in the modern society, scientific research are gradually becoming the prevalent tendency in helping nations preparing for better future. For example, instead of spending costly on less useful resources, countries in Europe concentrate on developing scientific research such as creating vaccine to conquer some unpredictable pandemics in the future.
In conclusion, there are mixed opinions on determining the importance of scientific research, I think that countries should take care of using money for wise purposes like investing on scientists compared to ineffective consequences.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some individuals claim" -> "Some scholars argue"
    Explanation: Replacing "individuals claim" with "scholars argue" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning it better with academic discourse.

  2. "providing costs for researching post graduate" -> "providing funding for postgraduate research"
    Explanation: "Providing costs for researching postgraduate" is awkward and unclear. "Providing funding for postgraduate research" is more precise and commonly used in academic contexts.

  3. "is inadequate" -> "is insufficient"
    Explanation: "Inadequate" can imply a broader range of shortcomings, whereas "insufficient" specifically refers to the lack of sufficient resources or funds, which is more precise in this context.

  4. "spending money on significant scientific research is more essential than research that can not gain specific achievements" -> "investing in significant scientific research is more crucial than research that fails to yield specific outcomes"
    Explanation: "Investing in" is more formal than "spending money on," and "crucial" is more academically appropriate than "essential." Additionally, "fails to yield specific outcomes" is more precise than "can not gain specific achievements."

  5. "Personally, I totally agree" -> "I strongly concur"
    Explanation: "Personally, I totally agree" is informal and redundant. "I strongly concur" is more formal and concise.

  6. "some reasons that are explained in this essay" -> "the reasons discussed in this essay"
    Explanation: "The reasons discussed in this essay" is more formal and precise, avoiding the vague "some reasons."

  7. "Money from governments will be divided into another criteria" -> "Government funds are allocated to various criteria"
    Explanation: "Government funds are allocated to various criteria" is more formal and accurate, avoiding the awkward and incorrect "Money from governments will be divided into another criteria."

  8. "finding specific knowledges" -> "acquiring specific knowledge"
    Explanation: "Acquiring specific knowledge" is grammatically correct and more formal than "finding specific knowledges."

  9. "is so limited" -> "is severely limited"
    Explanation: "Is severely limited" adds a degree of severity that is more appropriate for academic writing.

  10. "offering costs for gaining achievements in term of science" -> "providing funding for scientific achievements"
    Explanation: "Providing funding for scientific achievements" is more precise and formal than "offering costs for gaining achievements in term of science."

  11. "scientific research surprisingly play a crucial role" -> "scientific research surprisingly plays a crucial role"
    Explanation: Corrects the verb agreement error from "play" to "plays."

  12. "supporting towards many countries" -> "supporting many countries"
    Explanation: "Supporting towards" is incorrect; "supporting many countries" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  13. "technological high-speed train are tend to create" -> "technological high-speed trains tend to create"
    Explanation: Corrects the plural form "are tend" to "tend" and "trains" to match the singular subject "train."

  14. "more 1% of total GDP" -> "an additional 1% of total GDP"
    Explanation: "An additional 1% of total GDP" is grammatically correct and clearer than "more 1% of total GDP."

  15. "investing expenditures on less useful subjects" -> "investing in less useful subjects"
    Explanation: "Investing expenditures" is redundant; "investing in" is the correct preposition for this context.

  16. "could lead to the prodigality of government’s expenses" -> "could result in the profligacy of government expenses"
    Explanation: "Result in" is more formal than "lead to," and "profligacy" is the correct term for excessive or wasteful use of resources.

  17. "scientific research are gradually becoming" -> "scientific research is gradually becoming"
    Explanation: Corrects the verb agreement error from "are" to "is."

  18. "conquer some unpredictable pandemics" -> "address some unpredictable pandemics"
    Explanation: "Address" is more appropriate in this context than "conquer," which implies a more aggressive or military action.

  19. "countries in Europe concentrate on developing scientific research" -> "European countries focus on developing scientific research"
    Explanation: "European countries" is more specific and formal than "countries in Europe," and "focus on" is more precise than "concentrate on."

  20. "spending costly on less useful resources" -> "spending heavily on less useful resources"
    Explanation: "Spending heavily" is more formal and appropriate than "spending costly," which is awkward and incorrect.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by arguing that government funding should prioritize scientific research over less useful subjects. The writer presents a clear stance in favor of this viewpoint. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing perspective, which would demonstrate a more balanced approach to the argument. For instance, mentioning the potential benefits of funding for the arts or humanities could strengthen the discussion.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, thewriter should explicitly reference the counterarguments and then refute them. This could involve discussing the value of diverse fields of study and how they contribute to society, even if indirectly.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay, consistently advocating for prioritizing scientific research. Phrases like "I totally agree with this suggestion" establish a firm stance. However, the position could be more effectively reinforced by summarizing the key points at the end of each paragraph to remind the reader of the main argument.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea and how it supports the overall argument. Additionally, reiterating the position in the conclusion can help to reinforce the argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the argument for scientific research, such as its economic benefits and its role in national development. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration and specific examples. For instance, the mention of "technological high-speed train" in Vietnam is vague and could be better explained to illustrate its impact.
    • How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could involve including statistics, specific case studies, or more in-depth analysis of how scientific research has led to tangible benefits in various countries.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the importance of scientific research. However, some sentences are somewhat convoluted and could lead to confusion about the main argument. For example, the phrase "spending money on significant scientific research is more essential than research that can not gain specific achievements" could be clearer.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid overly complex sentences and ensure that each sentence directly contributes to the main argument. Simplifying language and structure can help clarify the message and keep the reader engaged.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from more comprehensive engagement with counterarguments, clearer examples, and improved sentence structure for clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of prioritizing funding for scientific research over less useful subjects. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs follow a logical progression. However, the organization could be improved as some ideas are not fully developed or are somewhat repetitive. For instance, the point about scientific research’s role in economic growth is mentioned in both paragraphs, which could confuse the reader about the main focus of each paragraph.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph has a distinct main idea that is fully developed with supporting details. Consider using topic sentences that clearly state the main point of each paragraph. Additionally, avoid redundancy by consolidating similar ideas into a single, well-structured paragraph.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be split into separate paragraphs for clarity. For example, the justification for prioritizing scientific research and the discussion of government spending could each be their own paragraph.
    • How to improve: Implement a clear structure by ensuring each paragraph has a single focus. Start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily. Aim for a minimum of three paragraphs: an introduction, a body with distinct points, and a conclusion.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "moreover," "additionally," and "for example," which help connect ideas. However, the range is somewhat limited, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs feels abrupt, which disrupts the flow of the argument.
    • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in contrast," "furthermore," or "on the other hand," to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are clear by summarizing the previous point and indicating how it relates to the next point. This will create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "cogent justifications," "indispensable trend," and "prodigality." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "spending money" and "scientific research." The use of "significant" and "vital" is appropriate but could be expanded upon with synonyms or more varied expressions to enhance the overall lexical range.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate a broader array of vocabulary related to research and funding. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "spending money," alternatives like "allocating funds," "investing resources," or "financial backing" could be employed. Additionally, using more specific terms related to research fields could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: Some vocabulary choices are imprecise or awkward, such as "researching post graduate" which should be "postgraduate research." The phrase "can not gain specific achievements" is vague and could be more clearly articulated. Furthermore, "the indispensable trend of all the nation in the global" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, instead of "can not gain specific achievements," they might say "may not yield tangible benefits." Ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct and contextually appropriate will enhance precision. Regular practice with academic writing and vocabulary exercises can aid in this regard.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "prodigality" (which is correct but may not fit the intended context), "knowledges" (should be "knowledge"), and "are tend to create" (should be "tends to create"). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in proofreading their work, possibly reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can help reinforce correct spelling.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and improving spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion of the IELTS Task 2 essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Some individuals claim that providing costs for researching post graduate is inadequate" shows a complex structure. However, the essay relies heavily on similar sentence patterns, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, phrases like "money invested for finding specific knowledges that are helpful for the development of one nation" could be restructured for clarity and variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Money from governments will be divided into another criteria related to education," you could say, "While money from governments is often divided into various criteria related to education, social welfare, and infrastructure, it is crucial to prioritize funding for scientific research." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "scientific research surprisingly play a crucial role" should be "scientific research surprisingly plays a crucial role" to agree in number. Additionally, the phrase "in term of science" should be "in terms of science." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, can also disrupt the flow of sentences, as seen in "In conclusion, there are mixed opinions on determining the importance of scientific research, I think that countries should take care of using money for wise purposes like investing on scientists compared to ineffective consequences," which should be split into two sentences for clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, review subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules. Additionally, practice using punctuation correctly, particularly with compound sentences. Reading your essay aloud can help identify areas where punctuation may be lacking or where sentences are too long and need to be broken up for clarity.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals claim that funding for postgraduate research is insufficient; therefore, some scholars argue that government financial support should be directed exclusively towards scientific research rather than less useful subjects. Personally, I strongly concur with this viewpoint based on several reasons that are discussed in this essay.

There are compelling justifications for prioritizing financial investment in scientific research. Government funds are allocated to various criteria related to education, social welfare, and infrastructure, which means that money invested in acquiring specific knowledge that is beneficial for the development of a nation is severely limited. Moreover, with the growth of science, providing funding for postgraduate research is becoming an indispensable trend for all nations globally. Therefore, scientific research surprisingly plays a crucial role in supporting many countries, especially developing nations. This can be observed in Vietnam, where scientific research, such as technological high-speed trains, tends to contribute an additional 1% to total GDP.

Additionally, investing in less useful subjects could result in the profligacy of government expenses and negatively impact overall economic growth. In modern society, scientific research is gradually becoming the prevalent tendency in helping nations prepare for a better future. For example, instead of spending heavily on less useful resources, European countries focus on developing scientific research, such as creating vaccines to address some unpredictable pandemics in the future.

In conclusion, while there are mixed opinions regarding the importance of scientific research, I believe that countries should prioritize their financial resources wisely by investing in scientific achievements rather than on ineffective subjects.

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