More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Nowadays, as growing number of companies are opting to use online platforms such as Zoom for hosting conferences instead of traditional in-person meetings. This approach has both positive and negative effects, which will be elaborated further in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, one of the advantages for this development is that it enables employees to work remotely as they might maximize their efficiency and productivity by utilizing commuting time. This, in turn, can contribute to the growth and success of a company by improving its performance and reputation in the market. Additionally, when employees are allowed to join meetings online, they can work from home which means they do not have to use transportation to do to work. This can help to reduce a significant amount of carbon emissions as well as improve the global warming being at an alarming rate. Another factor make companies decide to get meetings online instead of taking place in offices is that it help them cut a huge sum of money spent on office rental costs and have more to invest in other important aspects such as marketing or promotions which creates an noticeable increase in the sales figures.
On the other hand, despite of the benefits of this phenomenon, there are still drawbacks involved. Firstly, attending online meetings requires a stable internet connection, electricity, reliable hardware, and secure software, which may face difficulties during the conference and, thus, can have negative consequences for the company. For instance, many years ago, KNT lost a 1 million dollars deal due to a power outage in the area. Secondly, happening with crucial meetings, it is better for business to hold traditional in-person meetings because participating in this meeting kind, employees may listen more attentively to the conversation going on around them and also make it easier to carry on more than one conversation at the same time. Thanks to these things, the meeting would become more engaging and productive.
In conclusion, organizing meetings online in companies have both advantages and disadvantages involved, I think that depending on the importance and topics discussed in the meetings, firms might actively choose between traditional in-person meetings or online ones.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "currently" to maintain a more formal tone. -
"as growing number of companies" -> "as an increasing number of companies"
Explanation: "Growing number" can be replaced with "increasing number" for clearer and more precise language. -
"instead of traditional in-person meetings" -> "rather than conventional face-to-face meetings"
Explanation: "Traditional in-person meetings" can be substituted with "conventional face-to-face meetings" for a more formal and descriptive term. -
"To begin with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "To begin with" is slightly informal for academic writing; "Firstly" is a more appropriate transition phrase. -
"enable" -> "facilitate"
Explanation: "Enable" is a common word but "facilitate" adds a touch of formality and sophistication to the sentence. -
"maximize their efficiency and productivity" -> "optimize their efficiency and productivity"
Explanation: "Maximize" can be replaced with "optimize" for a more refined and academic expression. -
"utilizing commuting time" -> "making use of commuting time"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is fine, but "making use of" is a slightly more formal and precise alternative. -
"contribute to the growth and success" -> "contribute to the growth and prosperity"
Explanation: "Success" is a bit generic; "prosperity" adds a more specific and formal connotation. -
"when employees are allowed to join meetings online" -> "when employees participate in online meetings"
Explanation: "Join" is common but "participate in" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"do not have to use transportation to do to work" -> "do not have to commute to work"
Explanation: "Use transportation to do to work" is awkward; "commute to work" is a clearer and more concise alternative. -
"carbon emissions as well as improve the global warming being at an alarming rate" -> "carbon emissions and mitigate the alarming rate of global warming"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and awkward; the suggested alternative is clearer and more concise. -
"Another factor make companies decide" -> "Another factor prompting companies to decide"
Explanation: "Make" should be changed to "prompting" for better grammar and clarity. -
"cut a huge sum of money spent" -> "reduce a significant amount of money spent"
Explanation: "Cut" is a bit informal; "reduce" is a more suitable choice for academic writing. -
"meetings requires" -> "meetings require"
Explanation: "Requires" should agree with the plural subject "meetings." -
"have negative consequences for the company" -> "can have adverse effects on the company"
Explanation: "Negative consequences" is vague; "adverse effects" is more precise and formal. -
"many years ago, KNT lost a 1 million dollars deal" -> "In the past, KNT lost a million-dollar deal"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and conciseness; the suggested alternative is clearer and more formal. -
"attending online meetings" -> "participating in online meetings"
Explanation: "Attending" is common but "participating in" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"happening with crucial meetings" -> "occurring during crucial meetings"
Explanation: "Happening with" is awkward; "occurring during" is clearer and more precise. -
"better for business to hold traditional in-person meetings" -> "more advantageous for businesses to conduct traditional face-to-face meetings"
Explanation: "Better for business" is informal; "more advantageous for businesses" is a more formal and precise alternative. -
"Thanks to these things" -> "As a result of these factors"
Explanation: "Thanks to these things" is informal; "As a result of these factors" is more formal and clearer. -
"organizing meetings online in companies" -> "conducting online meetings within companies"
Explanation: "Organizing meetings online in companies" is slightly awkward; "conducting online meetings within companies" is more concise and formal. -
"have both advantages and disadvantages involved" -> "have both advantages and drawbacks"
Explanation: "Involved" is unnecessary; "drawbacks" is a more precise and formal term for disadvantages. -
"depending on the importance and topics discussed in the meetings" -> "based on the significance and topics addressed in the meetings"
Explanation: "Depending on" can be replaced with "based on" for a more formal tone, and "discussed" with "addressed" for clearer language.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of holding business meetings online. It acknowledges the trend and discusses the benefits, such as improved efficiency and reduced costs, as well as the drawbacks, such as reliance on technology and potential loss of engagement. Each aspect is touched upon, demonstrating a good understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each advantage and disadvantage is thoroughly explored with supporting evidence or examples. Additionally, consider providing a more nuanced analysis of how these factors impact different aspects of business operations.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of online business meetings. Although it does not explicitly state a preference for one over the other, the balanced discussion indicates a neutral stance.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the author’s viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion, providing a stronger sense of direction for the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas by outlining advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs and supporting them with examples, such as increased productivity and potential technology failures. However, some ideas could be extended further to provide deeper insights.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, delve deeper into the potential consequences of online meetings, such as implications for employee morale or long-term effects on company culture. Additionally, provide more diverse examples to enrich the discussion.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the advantages and disadvantages of online business meetings throughout. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be more tightly focused, such as the brief mention of global warming.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every point made directly relates to the topic of online business meetings. Avoid tangential discussions or unrelated examples to keep the essay cohesive and coherent.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a coherent structure by introducing the topic, presenting advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs, and concluding the discussion effectively. Each paragraph focuses on either the advantages or disadvantages, providing clear points and examples to support the arguments. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be improved for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For example, phrases like "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "In addition" can help transition between points and paragraphs seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea of the paragraph.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, there are some issues with paragraph structure and coherence. For instance, the second paragraph contains several points without clear separation, leading to a lack of clarity in the presentation of ideas.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Then, provide supporting details and examples to develop that idea cohesively within the paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph discusses only one main point to avoid confusion and maintain coherence.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "to begin with," "on the other hand," and "in conclusion," to connect ideas and structure the essay. However, there is limited variety in the use of cohesive devices, and some transitions could be smoother to improve coherence.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices throughout the essay to enhance coherence. Utilize cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "however," "although"), and adverbs (e.g., "additionally," "similarly") to link ideas within and between sentences. Pay attention to the placement of these devices to ensure smooth transitions and logical progression of ideas.
Overall, while the essay effectively presents both advantages and disadvantages of holding business meetings online, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, contributing to a more cohesive and logically structured argument.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
- Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at employing a variety of vocabulary, including terms like "opting," "utilizing," "contribute," "alarming rate," and "phenomenon." However, there are instances where vocabulary could be further diversified and refined for a more sophisticated expression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meanings. For example, instead of repeatedly using "meetings," consider alternatives like "conferences," "gatherings," or "assemblies" where appropriate. Furthermore, varying sentence structures and exploring synonyms can enrich the language used in the essay.
- Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally employs vocabulary precisely, such as in the phrase "remote work," "carbon emissions," and "traditional in-person meetings." However, there are instances where word choice lacks precision or clarity, such as "being at an alarming rate" and "help them cut a huge sum of money."
- How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary selection to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of communication. Instead of vague phrases like "being at an alarming rate," consider specifying the issue, such as "experiencing alarming levels of increase." Similarly, replace general terms like "a huge sum of money" with specific figures or descriptors to convey a clearer message.
- Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a range of spelling errors, including "KNT" instead of "KNTX" and "do to work" instead of "commute to work." While some errors may be typographical, others reflect inaccuracies that could detract from the overall coherence and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: Prioritize thorough proofreading to identify and correct spelling errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, consider utilizing spell-checking tools and seeking feedback from peers or instructors to enhance spelling accuracy. Developing a habit of reviewing written work meticulously can significantly improve spelling proficiency over time.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is an attempt to vary the structure, but it could be further diversified to enhance readability and sophistication. For instance, while there are some complex sentences used, they are relatively straightforward and could be more intricately constructed to showcase a higher level of grammatical range and complexity.
- How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and sophistication, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures such as compound-complex sentences, inverted sentences, and conditional sentences. Additionally, strive for more complex sentence constructions by using phrases and clauses effectively. For example, instead of solely relying on basic subject-verb-object structures, experiment with fronting phrases or employing subordinate clauses to add depth to your sentences.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage, but there are several instances of errors throughout the text. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("as growing number"), article usage ("the global warming being at an alarming rate"), and tense consistency ("make" instead of "makes"). Additionally, punctuation errors such as missing commas and incorrect placement of periods are noticeable.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, especially with complex subjects. Review the proper usage of articles (definite and indefinite) to ensure clarity and precision in your writing. Also, maintain consistency in verb tense throughout the essay. For punctuation, familiarize yourself with the rules governing comma usage, especially in separating clauses and phrases within sentences. Proofread your work meticulously to catch and correct punctuation errors before finalizing your essay. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and rectify grammatical and punctuation mistakes effectively.
Bài sửa mẫu
Nowadays, an increasing number of companies are favoring online platforms like Zoom for hosting conferences instead of traditional face-to-face meetings. This shift has its pros and cons, which I’ll delve into below.
To begin with, one advantage of this trend is that it allows employees to work remotely, optimizing their efficiency and productivity by making use of commuting time. Consequently, this can contribute to the growth and prosperity of a company by enhancing its performance and reputation in the market. Additionally, when employees participate in online meetings, they do not have to commute to work, thereby reducing carbon emissions and mitigating the alarming rate of global warming. Another factor prompting companies to decide on online meetings is the potential to reduce a significant amount of money spent on office rental costs, enabling more investment in vital areas such as marketing or promotions, ultimately leading to a noticeable increase in sales figures.
On the other hand, despite the benefits, there are drawbacks to consider. Firstly, attending online meetings necessitates a stable internet connection, electricity, reliable hardware, and secure software, which, if lacking, can have adverse effects on the company. For instance, in the past, KNT lost a million-dollar deal due to a power outage during a crucial online meeting. Secondly, for crucial meetings, it may be more advantageous for businesses to conduct traditional face-to-face meetings. This is because participating in such meetings encourages employees to listen more attentively and facilitates the management of multiple conversations simultaneously, leading to more engaging and productive discussions.
In conclusion, while conducting online meetings within companies has both advantages and drawbacks, the choice between traditional in-person meetings or online ones depends on the significance and topics addressed in the meetings.
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