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This is one of the new strategies that the whole Khiri is planning for 2025-2026. This strategy only focuses on high-end hotels from 4-5 stars in Vietnam and will be especially for VIP guests. That is why we need more support from the hotel to provide other promotions in the form of "Khiri special offer" for this type of guest. Hopefully this will be a boost to increase the number of guests for the following years.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"This is one of the new strategies" -> "This represents one of the new strategies"
Explanation: Using "represents" instead of "is" provides a more formal and precise verb choice, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"the whole Khiri" -> "the entire Khiri organization"
Explanation: "The entire Khiri organization" is more specific and formal, clearly identifying the entity being referred to.
"high-end hotels from 4-5 stars" -> "luxury hotels rated 4-5 stars"
Explanation: "Luxury hotels rated 4-5 stars" is a more precise and formal way to describe the type of hotels, aligning better with academic language.
"will be especially for VIP guests" -> "will be targeted specifically at VIP guests"
Explanation: "Targeted specifically at" is more formal and precise, indicating a deliberate focus on a particular group.
"That is why we need more support" -> "This necessitates additional support"
Explanation: "This necessitates additional support" is more formal and avoids the conversational tone of "That is why," which is too informal for academic writing.
"in the form of "Khiri special offer"" -> "in the form of the ‘Khiri Special Offer’"
Explanation: Capitalizing "Khiri Special Offer" correctly and using quotation marks formalizes the name of the promotion, enhancing its presentation in an academic context.
"hopefully this will be a boost" -> "it is anticipated that this will serve as a boost"
Explanation: "It is anticipated that this will serve as a boost" is more formal and removes the colloquial tone of "hopefully," which is not suitable for academic writing.
"increase the number of guests for the following years" -> "enhance guest numbers in subsequent years"
Explanation: "Enhance guest numbers in subsequent years" is more formal and precise, replacing the vague "increase the number of guests for the following years."

These changes refine the language to better suit an academic style, ensuring clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does not fully address the prompt, which seems to be about a strategy for a company. While it mentions a new strategy focusing on high-end hotels and VIP guests, it lacks clarity on what the specific question is asking for. There is no elaboration on the implications of this strategy or how it aligns with broader company goals. The response is vague and does not provide sufficient detail to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the task.
- How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should first ensure they clearly understand the prompt. They should outline the main points they wish to discuss and ensure that each point is explicitly connected to the prompt. Providing specific examples or data to support claims about the strategy would also enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position regarding the focus on high-end hotels, but it lacks a strong, clear argument throughout. The mention of needing support from hotels and hoping for increased guests is somewhat ambiguous and does not convey a strong stance on the effectiveness or necessity of the strategy.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint at the beginning and consistently refer back to it throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument and reinforce the main position. Additionally, providing reasons why this strategy is beneficial or necessary would strengthen the clarity of the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. The mention of "Khiri special offer" is introduced, but there is no explanation of what this entails or how it would attract VIP guests. The essay does not extend ideas beyond the initial statement, which limits the depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point made. For instance, explaining what "Khiri special offer" includes and how it would appeal to high-end guests would provide necessary context. Additionally, incorporating data or examples from similar strategies that have succeeded in the past could lend credibility to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic regarding the strategy for high-end hotels, but it lacks depth and detail that would reinforce the topic. The brief nature of the response leads to a lack of exploration of relevant aspects, which could enhance the discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should expand on the main topic by including more detailed explanations and examples. Structuring the essay with clear paragraphs that each tackle a specific aspect of the strategy can help ensure that all points are relevant and contribute to the overall argument.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on fully addressing the prompt with detailed explanations, maintaining a clear and consistent position, elaborating on and supporting their ideas, and ensuring that all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, outlining a specific strategy for Khiri in a coherent manner. The introduction of the strategy is straightforward, and the rationale behind focusing on high-end hotels is well-articulated. The flow from the strategy’s objectives to the need for support from hotels is logical and easy to follow. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the strategy and its anticipated outcomes, which would enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For instance, after stating the strategy, you could add a sentence that links the need for hotel support directly to the anticipated increase in guest numbers. This would create a clearer cause-and-effect relationship.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is presented as a single paragraph, which limits its clarity and effectiveness. While the information is relevant, the lack of paragraphing makes it difficult for the reader to digest the information in a structured manner. Each main idea could be better highlighted with its own paragraph, allowing for a more focused discussion.
- How to improve: Implement a clear paragraph structure by separating the introduction of the strategy, the explanation of its focus, and the call for hotel support into distinct paragraphs. This will enhance readability and allow each point to be developed more fully. For example, start a new paragraph when introducing the "Khiri special offer" to emphasize its importance.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "That is why" and "Hopefully," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, leading to a repetitive feel in the writing. The use of more varied cohesive devices could enhance the fluidity of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, you could use "Furthermore" to introduce additional information about the strategy or "In addition" when discussing the benefits of the "Khiri special offer." This variety will improve the overall cohesion of the essay and make the connections between ideas more dynamic.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a band score of 9.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary appropriate for the context, such as "strategies," "high-end hotels," and "VIP guests." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, which restricts the overall expressiveness of the ideas. For example, the phrase "high-end hotels from 4-5 stars" could be varied with synonyms or alternative phrases to enhance the richness of the language.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "high-end hotels," you could use terms like "luxury accommodations" or "premium lodging." Additionally, using phrases such as "exclusive clientele" instead of "VIP guests" can diversify the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary that is relevant to the topic, but there are instances of imprecision. For example, the term "Khiri special offer" is vague without further context. It could be clearer if it specified what kind of promotions or offers are being referred to. Additionally, the phrase "boost to increase the number of guests" is somewhat redundant, as "boost" and "increase" convey similar meanings.
- How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by providing context or definitions for terms that may not be immediately clear to the reader. Instead of saying "Khiri special offer," you could specify what types of promotions are included, such as "discount packages" or "exclusive deals for premium services." Avoid redundancy by choosing one strong word that conveys your meaning effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains no spelling errors, indicating a good level of spelling accuracy. Words like "strategies," "promotions," and "guests" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, continue to practice writing and proofreading. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in vocabulary exercises can help reinforce correct spelling. Additionally, reading more extensively can expose you to correct spelling in context, which can further enhance your skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and contextual clarity. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the overall quality of writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic variety of sentence structures, primarily using simple and compound sentences. For instance, the sentence "This strategy only focuses on high-end hotels from 4-5 stars in Vietnam and will be especially for VIP guests" combines two clauses effectively. However, the overall range is limited, with few complex sentences present. The use of phrases like "That is why we need more support" indicates some level of coordination but lacks the complexity that could enhance the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses. For example, you could rephrase "This strategy only focuses on high-end hotels" to "Although this strategy primarily focuses on high-end hotels, it also aims to enhance the overall guest experience." Additionally, using varied sentence beginnings and integrating relative clauses can add depth and interest to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a fair level of grammatical accuracy, but there are noticeable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "the whole Khiri is planning" could be more clearly expressed as "the entire Khiri organization is planning." Additionally, the use of "4-5 stars" is somewhat informal; it would be more precise to say "four- to five-star hotels." Punctuation is generally correct, but the essay could benefit from more varied punctuation, such as commas for clarity in longer sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For example, instead of "the hotel," it might be clearer to specify "the hotels" since you are referring to multiple establishments. Practicing sentence rephrasing can also help identify and correct awkward constructions. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can improve overall readability.

By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

This represents one of the new strategies that the entire Khiri organization is planning for 2025-2026. This strategy specifically focuses on luxury hotels rated 4-5 stars in Vietnam and will be targeted specifically at VIP guests. This necessitates additional support from the hotels to provide other promotions in the form of “Khiri special offers” for this type of guest. It is anticipated that this will serve as a boost to enhance guest numbers in subsequent years.