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Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feel schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feel schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is undoubtedly important that environmental education be offered to children. Given this, much has been debated over who should be in charge of navigating children towards 3 R's for living a sustainable lifestyle. While a school of thought holds that this responsibility should rest with parents , instead of schools,the others argue otherwise.It is important to note that these views are not mutually exclusive and that ideally,schools and parents play a part in this effort to educate children in this matter.
It is understandable why some argue that the onus is on parents ,in lieu of school , to shape childrens’ greener lifestyle.Firstly, it is certainly true that parents can actively improve children’s behavior through emotional connection and customizable teaching approach , compared to school setting.The most frequently cited reason is that parents typically have a closer emotional bond with their children, allowing them to tailor the teaching approach to their child’s age and understanding stage. As a result,lessons about recycling tend to be more impactful and personally meaningful.Secondly,children are highly impressionable and often model their behavior based on what they see their parents do. This modeling effect is crucial because children learn not just through instruction but through observation. For example,if a child sees their parents diligently separating plastics from paper and taking the time to rinse containers before recycling, they are more likely to adopt these practices themselves. Therefore , parents’s involvement is concretely imperative. Ý tưởng rất tốt!
However , this aforementioned thinking fails to factor in the fact that any structured and widespread education on recycling must be under school ‘s control. This is because schools have access to a large number of students, which means they can disseminate recycling knowledge widely and uniformly. Consequently,this way helps ensure that all students receive the same basic level of education about recycling, regardless of their home environment
.Furthermore,schools provide a structured setting where environmental education and hands-on experience can be systematically integrated into the curriculum.These activities can provide practical experience and reinforce the importance of recycling in a memorable way.
In conclusion , educating children how to preserve the environment is not an either-or proposition, and it is a massive undertaking that warrants collective efforts of both the familial and schooling ends on the grounds of their own valuable facets


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is undoubtedly important" -> "It is undeniably crucial"
    Explanation: "Undeniably crucial" enhances the formality and emphasizes the significance of the statement, aligning better with academic tone.

  2. "much has been debated" -> "considerable debate has ensued"
    Explanation: "Considerable debate has ensued" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone by avoiding the vague "much" and using a more active verb.

  3. "a school of thought holds" -> "a prevailing opinion asserts"
    Explanation: "A prevailing opinion asserts" is more specific and academically appropriate than "a school of thought holds," which can be seen as overly colloquial.

  4. "the others argue otherwise" -> "others contend"
    Explanation: "Others contend" is more concise and formal, avoiding the informal phrasing of "the others argue otherwise."

  5. "ideally,schools and parents play a part" -> "ideally, both schools and parents contribute"
    Explanation: "Contribute" is more precise and formal than "play a part," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.

  6. "shape childrens’ greener lifestyle" -> "influence children’s more environmentally conscious lifestyles"
    Explanation: "Influence children’s more environmentally conscious lifestyles" is more specific and formal, replacing the awkward and informal "shape childrens’ greener lifestyle."

  7. "in lieu of school" -> "in place of schools"
    Explanation: "In place of schools" is grammatically correct and more formal than "in lieu of school," which is less commonly used in this context.

  8. "customizable teaching approach" -> "tailored educational approach"
    Explanation: "Tailored educational approach" is more specific and academically appropriate than "customizable teaching approach," which is less precise.

  9. "children are highly impressionable" -> "children are highly susceptible to influence"
    Explanation: "Susceptible to influence" is a more precise and formal way to describe children’s receptivity to environmental education.

  10. "parents’s involvement is concretely imperative" -> "parental involvement is crucial"
    Explanation: "Parental involvement is crucial" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear "concretely imperative."

  11. "schools have access to a large number of students" -> "schools have access to a large student body"
    Explanation: "Large student body" is a more formal and precise term than "large number of students," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  12. "disseminate recycling knowledge widely and uniformly" -> "disseminate recycling knowledge broadly and consistently"
    Explanation: "Broadly and consistently" is more formal and precise than "widely and uniformly," enhancing the academic tone.

  13. "hands-on experience can be systematically integrated" -> "hands-on experiences can be systematically incorporated"
    Explanation: "Experiences" is plural to match the context, and "incorporated" is more formal than "integrated," fitting better in an academic context.

  14. "educating children how to preserve the environment" -> "educating children about environmental preservation"
    Explanation: "About environmental preservation" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and precision of the sentence.

  15. "on the grounds of their own valuable facets" -> "due to their respective merits"
    Explanation: "Due to their respective merits" is more formal and academically appropriate than "on the grounds of their own valuable facets," which is awkward and unclear.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on who should be responsible for teaching children to recycle—parents and schools. The author presents arguments for both sides, highlighting the emotional connection parents have with their children and the structured education schools can provide. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views before stating the author’s opinion. The conclusion does mention the need for a collective effort, but this could be more clearly articulated throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that each viewpoint is given equal weight and clarity before transitioning to their own opinion. Explicitly stating the author’s stance earlier in the essay could help frame the discussion and provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that both parents and schools are responsible for teaching recycling. However, the clarity of this position could be improved. The introduction hints at a balanced view, but the conclusion could be more assertive in reinforcing the author’s opinion. The phrase "ideally, schools and parents play a part" could be perceived as indecisive.
    • How to improve: The author should consider using stronger language to assert their position more definitively. For example, stating that "both parents and schools are equally responsible" would provide a clearer stance. Additionally, reinforcing this position throughout the body paragraphs would help maintain consistency.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of how parents can influence their children’s recycling habits through modeling behavior. The use of specific examples, such as parents separating plastics from paper, strengthens the argument. However, the section discussing schools could benefit from more detailed examples or evidence to support the claim that schools can provide structured education.
    • How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could include specific examples of educational programs or initiatives that schools have implemented to teach recycling. This would provide a more robust argument for the school’s role in environmental education.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the roles of parents and schools in teaching recycling. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly convoluted, which may distract from the main argument. For instance, the phrase "this aforementioned thinking fails to factor in" could be simplified for clarity.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should aim for clearer and more straightforward language. Avoiding overly complex phrases and ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the argument will help keep the reader engaged and focused on the topic. Additionally, ensuring that transitions between points are smooth will aid in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments to clarity, explicitness of position, and the depth of supporting examples, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the differing viewpoints. The first body paragraph effectively supports the argument that parents should take responsibility for teaching recycling, providing reasons and examples. The second body paragraph counters this by emphasizing the role of schools, which is logically sequenced. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother, particularly when moving from the discussion of parents to schools. For instance, the phrase "However, this aforementioned thinking fails to factor in…" could benefit from a clearer transition that explicitly connects the two viewpoints.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas, such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," when introducing contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, guiding the reader through the argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the roles of parents and schools, respectively. However, the conclusion could be more clearly defined as a separate paragraph rather than being tacked onto the end of the second body paragraph. This would enhance the overall structure and clarity of the essay.
    • How to improve: Clearly delineate the conclusion as its own paragraph. This will not only improve the visual structure of the essay but also allow for a more impactful summary of the arguments presented. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph is balanced in length and depth of analysis, as the first body paragraph is notably longer than the second.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "However," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where cohesive devices are either overused or could be varied for better effect. For example, the repeated use of "this" at the beginning of sentences can lead to ambiguity about what is being referred to.
    • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or different phrases to connect ideas, such as "In addition," "Moreover," or "On the contrary." Additionally, ensure that pronouns are clear in their references to avoid confusion. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this," rephrase to clarify what "this" refers to, thereby enhancing clarity and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments in a coherent manner. By focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraph structures, and a wider variety of cohesive devices, the writer can further enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "environmental education," "sustainable lifestyle," and "emotional connection." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety, with repeated phrases like "children" and "recycling." Additionally, the phrase "3 R’s" is informal and could be replaced with "reduce, reuse, recycle" for clarity and formality.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "children," alternatives like "youngsters," "youth," or "students" could be used. Furthermore, using more sophisticated terms related to environmental education, such as "ecological awareness" or "sustainability practices," would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the onus is on parents, in lieu of school," which could be confusing. The phrase "in lieu of" is not used correctly in this context; it suggests a replacement rather than a shared responsibility. Additionally, the term "customizable teaching approach" is vague and could be better articulated.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. For example, instead of "customizable teaching approach," a more precise phrase could be "tailored educational strategies." Additionally, ensuring that phrases accurately reflect the intended meaning will enhance overall clarity. The writer should also review vocabulary for context to avoid misinterpretation.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "childrens’" (should be "children’s"), "schools,the" (missing space), and "parents’s" (should be "parents’"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to confusion.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, focusing on common spelling rules and practicing frequently misspelled words can help reduce these errors. Regularly reviewing and editing the work before submission will also improve overall spelling accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and employs some relevant vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, phrases like "While a school of thought holds that this responsibility should rest with parents" and "children learn not just through instruction but through observation" showcase the writer’s ability to construct varied sentence types. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "it is" constructions and similar introductory phrases, which can detract from the overall variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and use different sentence openings. For instance, instead of starting sentences with "It is" or "This is," the writer could begin with adverbial phrases or subordinate clauses, such as "Given the emotional bond parents share with their children…" or "Because schools can reach a larger audience, they play a crucial role in recycling education." Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several noticeable errors that impact clarity and professionalism. For example, the phrase "parents’s involvement is concretely imperative" contains a grammatical error in the possessive form; it should be "parents’ involvement." Additionally, punctuation issues are present, such as missing spaces before commas and periods (e.g., "parents ,in lieu of school" should be "parents, in lieu of school"). The use of "Ý tưởng rất tốt!" (which translates to "Very good idea!") is also out of context and disrupts the flow of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch errors in possessive forms and punctuation. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify mistakes. Furthermore, maintaining a consistent language throughout the essay is essential; if the essay is in English, it is best to avoid inserting phrases in another language unless they serve a clear purpose. Finally, practicing the correct use of commas and other punctuation marks will enhance clarity and professionalism in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is undeniably crucial that environmental education be provided to children. Given this, considerable debate has ensued over who should be responsible for guiding children towards the 3 R’s—reduce, reuse, and recycle—for a sustainable lifestyle. While a prevailing opinion asserts that this responsibility lies with parents rather than schools, others contend that schools should take the lead. It is important to note that these views are not mutually exclusive and that ideally, both schools and parents play a role in this effort to educate children on this matter.

It is understandable why some argue that the onus is on parents, rather than schools, to shape children’s greener lifestyles. Firstly, it is certainly true that parents can actively influence children’s behavior through emotional connections and a tailored educational approach, compared to a school setting. The most frequently cited reason is that parents typically have a closer emotional bond with their children, allowing them to customize their teaching methods according to their child’s age and level of understanding. As a result, lessons about recycling tend to be more impactful and personally meaningful. Secondly, children are highly susceptible to influence and often model their behavior based on what they observe from their parents. This modeling effect is crucial because children learn not just through instruction but through observation. For example, if a child sees their parents diligently separating plastics from paper and taking the time to rinse containers before recycling, they are more likely to adopt these practices themselves. Therefore, parental involvement is indeed imperative.

However, this aforementioned perspective fails to consider that any structured and widespread education on recycling must be under the control of schools. This is because schools have access to a large number of students, which allows them to disseminate recycling knowledge broadly and consistently. Consequently, this approach helps ensure that all students receive the same basic level of education about recycling, regardless of their home environment. Furthermore, schools provide a structured setting where environmental education and hands-on experiences can be systematically incorporated into the curriculum. These activities can provide practical experience and reinforce the importance of recycling in a memorable way.

In conclusion, educating children about environmental preservation is not an either-or proposition; it is a massive undertaking that warrants the collective efforts of both families and schools, each contributing due to their respective merits.

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