Nowadays, air pollution is an alarming issue which threatens to people’s health and everything around. It is thought that air pollution is the responsibility of government instead of individuals. What is your opinion?/ AGREE OR DISAGREE Write an essay to show main causes and some solutions to surmount this issue.

Nowadays, air pollution is an alarming issue which threatens to people’s health and everything around. It is thought that air pollution is the responsibility of government instead of individuals.
What is your opinion?/ AGREE OR DISAGREE
Write an essay to show main causes and some solutions to surmount this issue.

In the light of urbanization and modernization, the increasingly severe problem of air pollution poses a grave threat to both human health and the environment. While it is commonly asserted that it rests primarily with governments, I strongly disagree with this notion that individual efforts are incapable of making a significant impact.
Admittedly, it is understandable why some advocate for this viewpoint, arguing that governments play a vital role in managing and controlling air quality. The primary reason is that governments wield the authority to formulate and enforce stringent environmental regulations and policies. Specifically, they are able to set emission standards for industries, impose fines for non-compliance, and implement policies that promote cleaner technologies, ensuring compliance and mitigating harmful emissions on a large scale. Another significant reason is the development of sustainable infrastructure, including public transportation and green spaces, is a key aspect of strategic investments by authorities. These initiatives not only enhance the environment but also encourage citizens to adopt eco-friendly alternatives, significantly reducing air pollution.
Nonetheless, there are stronger reasons to believe that individual actions can still have an impact on this matter. A primary reason is that individuals contribute to air pollution through daily activities, such as transportation and energy consumption. Clearly, making such environmentally conscious choices as using public transport and energy-efficient appliances, directly impacting pollution levels, reducing personal carbon footprints. Furthermore, Community-driven initiatives, such as local tree planting campaigns and neighborhood clean-up efforts, have made a significant impact on reducing air pollution levels. These actions highlight the effectiveness of grassroots efforts in improving air quality and underscore the importance of community involvement in environmental protection.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that the synergy between government policies and individual actions offers a more comprehensive and effective approach to combating the alarming issue of air quality degradation and its potential consequences.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In the light of" -> "In consideration of"
   Explanation: "In consideration of" is a more formal and precise phrase that better fits the academic tone of the essay, replacing the more colloquial "In the light of."

2. "the increasingly severe problem" -> "the increasingly severe issue"
   Explanation: "Issue" is a more formal synonym for "problem" and is commonly used in academic writing to refer to complex or abstract challenges.

3. "poses a grave threat" -> "constitutes a significant threat"
   Explanation: "Constitutes a significant threat" is a more formal expression that enhances the academic tone, replacing the more emotional "poses a grave threat."

4. "I strongly disagree with this notion" -> "I firmly disagree with this assertion"
   Explanation: "Assertion" is a more formal term than "notion," and "firmly" is a more academic synonym for "strongly," aligning better with the formal style of academic writing.

5. "individual efforts are incapable of making a significant impact" -> "individual efforts are insufficient to produce a significant impact"
   Explanation: "Insufficient to produce" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea that individual efforts are not enough, replacing the more absolute "incapable."

6. "The primary reason is that governments wield the authority" -> "The primary reason is that governments possess the authority"
   Explanation: "Possess" is a more formal verb than "wield," which can imply a more active or forceful control, which is not necessarily the intended meaning in this context.

7. "impose fines for non-compliance" -> "levy fines for non-compliance"
   Explanation: "Levy" is a more formal term than "impose" when referring to the act of imposing fines, fitting better in an academic context.

8. "ensure compliance and mitigating" -> "ensure compliance and mitigate"
   Explanation: "Mitigate" should be used as a verb in this context, not as a gerund, for grammatical correctness and clarity.

9. "strategic investments by authorities" -> "strategic investments made by authorities"
   Explanation: Adding "made" clarifies that the investments are actions taken by the authorities, enhancing the sentence’s clarity and formality.

10. "encourage citizens to adopt eco-friendly alternatives" -> "encourage citizens to adopt environmentally friendly alternatives"
    Explanation: "Environmentally friendly" is a more precise and formal term than "eco-friendly," which is somewhat colloquial.

11. "making such environmentally conscious choices" -> "making environmentally conscious choices"
    Explanation: Removing "such" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning, aligning better with academic style by avoiding unnecessary words.

12. "directly impacting pollution levels" -> "directly affecting pollution levels"
    Explanation: "Affecting" is a more precise verb in this context, as it implies a causative influence on pollution levels, whereas "impacting" can be vague.

13. "Community-driven initiatives" -> "community-driven initiatives"
    Explanation: Capitalizing "Community" aligns with standard English usage and formal writing conventions.

14. "made a significant impact on reducing air pollution levels" -> "significantly reduced air pollution levels"
    Explanation: "Significantly reduced" is a more concise and direct way to express the impact, avoiding the passive construction and enhancing clarity.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and style of the essay to better suit an academic context, ensuring precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the role of government and the importance of individual responsibility in combating air pollution. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position of disagreement with the notion that only governments are responsible. The body paragraphs provide relevant arguments and examples that align with the prompt’s request for causes and solutions to air pollution, such as government regulations and individual actions like using public transport and community initiatives.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could explicitly outline the main causes of air pollution in the introduction, which would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader. Additionally, including specific examples of successful government policies or individual initiatives could strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that while government action is important, individual efforts are equally crucial. The use of phrases like "I strongly disagree" and "I firmly believe" reinforces the writer’s stance. However, the transition between acknowledging the government’s role and emphasizing individual responsibility could be smoother to enhance coherence.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two viewpoints. For example, after discussing government responsibilities, a sentence like "However, it is equally important to recognize the significant role individuals play" would create a more seamless flow.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas, such as the government’s ability to enforce regulations and the impact of individual actions on pollution levels. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of public transportation and community initiatives. However, some ideas could be further extended; for instance, the discussion on community-driven initiatives could benefit from specific examples or statistics to illustrate their effectiveness.
  • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the success of individual actions or government policies. This could include referencing specific cities or programs that have successfully reduced air pollution through combined efforts.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of air pollution and the responsibilities of both government and individuals. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, and the arguments presented are relevant to the prompt. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while reiterating the importance of both parties in addressing air quality issues.
  • How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the writer should ensure that every example and argument directly ties back to the central thesis. Avoiding any tangential discussions or overly broad statements about air pollution that do not directly relate to the roles of government and individuals will help maintain focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing transitions, and ensuring all points are tightly linked to the thesis, the writer could further elevate the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by body paragraphs that provide supporting points. The first body paragraph effectively discusses the role of government in addressing air pollution, while the second body paragraph shifts focus to individual responsibility. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother; the connection between government actions and individual contributions is somewhat abrupt.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the ideas between paragraphs. For instance, at the end of the first body paragraph, a sentence could be added that hints at the importance of individual actions in conjunction with government efforts, such as, "While government initiatives are crucial, individual contributions cannot be overlooked."

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates effective paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific points, and the conclusion summarizes the argument. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of the paragraph.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each paragraph to provide a clearer guide for the reader. For example, the second body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "In addition to government efforts, individual actions play a crucial role in mitigating air pollution." This would help clarify the focus of the paragraph right from the beginning.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly," "Nonetheless," and "Furthermore," which help to connect ideas and maintain flow. However, there are moments where the use of cohesive devices feels repetitive, particularly in the transition between points within paragraphs.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking phrases and words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Another significant reason," you might alternate with phrases like "Additionally," "Moreover," or "In addition to this." This variation can enhance the overall readability and sophistication of the essay.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the argument and maintains a logical structure, but small adjustments in transitions, topic sentences, and cohesive devices can elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of air pollution. Phrases such as "grave threat," "stringent environmental regulations," and "eco-friendly alternatives" showcase the writer’s ability to use varied and topic-specific language. The use of terms like "urbanization" and "modernization" also indicates an understanding of the broader context of the issue. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the phrase "significant impact" is repeated in different contexts, which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should strive to incorporate synonyms and alternative phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "significant impact," they could use "substantial effect," "considerable influence," or "notable contribution." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues could further enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "formulate and enforce stringent environmental regulations" clearly conveying the intended meaning. However, there are moments where the precision of vocabulary could be enhanced. For example, the phrase "making such environmentally conscious choices" could be more precise by specifying what these choices entail, such as "adopting sustainable practices" or "engaging in eco-friendly behaviors."
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to clarify vague terms and provide specific examples. Instead of saying "environmentally conscious choices," they could specify actions like "reducing single-use plastics" or "utilizing renewable energy sources." This not only improves clarity but also strengthens the argument by providing concrete examples.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in spelling throughout the text. Words such as "pollution," "government," and "infrastructure" are all spelled correctly, which reflects a strong command of the language.
  • How to improve: While the spelling is correct, the writer should continue to practice spelling, particularly with more complex vocabulary that may arise in future essays. Regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce spelling skills. Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or engaging in peer reviews can further ensure accuracy in spelling.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating more varied vocabulary and providing specific examples, the writer can enhance the quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While it is commonly asserted that it rests primarily with governments, I strongly disagree with this notion that individual efforts are incapable of making a significant impact" effectively convey nuanced arguments. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "if individuals contribute to air pollution through daily activities," showcases an understanding of how to express hypothetical situations. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly in the second paragraph, where several sentences start with "The primary reason is" and "Another significant reason is." This can detract from the overall variety.
  • How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the way sentences are initiated. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The primary reason is," you could rephrase to begin with a subordinate clause or an introductory phrase, such as "One compelling argument for government responsibility is…" or "In addition to this, the development of sustainable infrastructure plays a crucial role." Incorporating more varied sentence types, such as questions or exclamatory sentences, can also contribute to a richer grammatical range.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the development of sustainable infrastructure, including public transportation and green spaces, is a key aspect of strategic investments by authorities" is grammatically correct, yet the sentence could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas more distinctly. Additionally, the phrase "making such environmentally conscious choices as using public transport and energy-efficient appliances, directly impacting pollution levels" contains a comma splice that disrupts the flow. The use of commas is mostly effective, but a few instances could be improved for clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring that clauses are properly connected. For example, the sentence could be revised to: "Clearly, making environmentally conscious choices, such as using public transport and energy-efficient appliances, directly impacts pollution levels." This adjustment removes the comma splice and clarifies the relationship between the ideas. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can help enhance clarity and coherence.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a strong argument with a good command of grammatical range and accuracy. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the light of urbanization and modernization, the increasingly severe problem of air pollution poses a grave threat to both human health and the environment. While it is commonly asserted that it rests primarily with governments, I strongly disagree with this notion that individual efforts are incapable of making a significant impact.

Admittedly, it is understandable why some advocate for this viewpoint, arguing that governments play a vital role in managing and controlling air quality. The primary reason is that governments wield the authority to formulate and enforce stringent environmental regulations and policies. Specifically, they are able to set emission standards for industries, levy fines for non-compliance, and implement policies that promote cleaner technologies, ensuring compliance and mitigating harmful emissions on a large scale. Another significant reason is that the development of sustainable infrastructure, including public transportation and green spaces, constitutes a key aspect of strategic investments made by authorities. These initiatives not only enhance the environment but also encourage citizens to adopt environmentally friendly alternatives, significantly reducing air pollution.

Nonetheless, there are stronger reasons to believe that individual actions can still have an impact on this matter. A primary reason is that individuals contribute to air pollution through daily activities, such as transportation and energy consumption. Clearly, making such environmentally conscious choices as using public transport and energy-efficient appliances directly affects pollution levels, reducing personal carbon footprints. Furthermore, community-driven initiatives, such as local tree planting campaigns and neighborhood clean-up efforts, have made a significant impact on reducing air pollution levels. These actions highlight the effectiveness of grassroots efforts in improving air quality and underscore the importance of community involvement in environmental protection.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the synergy between government policies and individual actions offers a more comprehensive and effective approach to combating the increasingly severe issue of air quality degradation and its potential consequences.