Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, what are advantages and disadvantages of using a credit card?
Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, what are advantages and disadvantages of using a credit card?
Currently, applying for and receiving a credit card is rather simple. Nevertheless, some people run into issues when they are unable to repay their loans. While credit card bring certain benefit , the drawback should also be considered .
One of the benefits of using credit cards is that they can credit cards offer a convenient and widely accepted method of payment. To be more specific, credit cards may eliminate the needs of to carrying cash or write checks, making transactions quickly and easilyy. They can be used for various types of purchases, including online shoppings, travel bookings, and everyday expenses. Another positive aspect is that credit cards seem to offer protections against frauds and thefts. For instance, iIf people you lose their your wallets or are mugged on in the streets, a quick phone call to the bank means that the card will be instantly refused if anyone tries to use it. Not only this, the credit card company can also place a hold on it to avoid fraudulent purchases. As a result consequence, the convenience and providing security for users of credit cards makes them a practical choice for modern-day transactions.
On the other hand, the drawback of using credit cards is the potential for accumulating debts. In more detail, mMany people tend to overspend when using credit cards, as they do not feel the immediate impact on their finances. This can lead to a cycle of debt, especially if individuals fail to make full payments on time. In Vietnam, this issue is prevalent among young adults who are enticed by credit card offers and end up with substantial debts that are difficult to manage. Another significant drawback of credit cards is the higher interest rates charged on outstanding balances. To illustrate, iIf individuals are unable to pay off their credit card bills in full each month, they will incur interest charges, which can accumulate rapidly. People who carry balances from months to months can find themselves burdened by substantial interest payments, making it harder to escape the debt cycle. Therefore, using a credit cards irresponsibly can have negative consequences for user your financial well-being and your credit scores.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"Currently, applying for and receiving a credit card is rather simple." -> "Currently, the process of applying for and receiving a credit card is relatively straightforward."
Explanation: The phrase "is rather simple" is somewhat informal and vague. "Relatively straightforward" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"While credit card bring certain benefit" -> "While credit cards offer certain benefits"
Explanation: "bring" is incorrect as it is not the correct verb form for the context. "Offer" is the correct verb to use with "benefits," and the plural form "benefits" is necessary to match the plural subject "credit cards." -
"the drawback should also be considered" -> "the drawbacks should also be considered"
Explanation: The singular "drawback" should be plural "drawbacks" to agree with the plural subject "benefits" mentioned earlier. -
"credit cards offer a convenient and widely accepted method of payment" -> "credit cards provide a convenient and widely accepted method of payment"
Explanation: "Offer" is less formal than "provide," which is more commonly used in academic writing to describe the provision of services or benefits. -
"may eliminate the needs of to carrying cash or write checks" -> "may eliminate the need to carry cash or write checks"
Explanation: "the needs of to" is grammatically incorrect. "the need to" is the correct phrase, and the removal of "cash" and "checks" from the list makes the sentence clearer and more concise. -
"They can be used for various types of purchases, including online shoppings, travel bookings, and everyday expenses." -> "They can be used for various types of purchases, including online shopping, travel bookings, and everyday expenses."
Explanation: "shoppings" is incorrect; "shopping" is the correct form. Also, "everyday expenses" should be "everyday expenses" without the hyphen. -
"credit cards seem to offer protections against frauds and thefts" -> "credit cards appear to offer protection against fraud and theft"
Explanation: "seem" is less definitive than "appear," which is more suitable for academic writing. Also, "frauds and thefts" should be singular "fraud and theft" for grammatical correctness. -
"iIf people you lose their your wallets or are mugged on in the streets" -> "If individuals lose their wallets or are mugged in the streets"
Explanation: "iIf" is a typographical error; "If" is the correct spelling. "people you" is grammatically incorrect; "individuals" is the correct noun form. "lose their your wallets" is awkward and incorrect; "lose their wallets" is grammatically correct. -
"the credit card company can also place a hold on it to avoid fraudulent purchases" -> "the credit card company can also place a hold on the card to prevent fraudulent purchases"
Explanation: "it" is vague and unclear; "the card" specifies the subject clearly. "to avoid" is less formal than "to prevent," which is more precise in an academic context. -
"As a result consequence" -> "As a consequence"
Explanation: "As a result consequence" is redundant; "As a consequence" is the correct phrase. -
"the convenience and providing security for users of credit cards" -> "the convenience and security provided by credit cards"
Explanation: "providing security" is awkward and redundant; "provided by" is more direct and formal. -
"mMany people tend to overspend" -> "Many people tend to overspend"
Explanation: "mMany" is a typographical error; "Many" is the correct spelling. -
"iIf individuals are unable to pay off their credit card bills in full each month" -> "If individuals are unable to pay off their credit card bills in full each month"
Explanation: "iIf" is a typographical error; "If" is the correct spelling. -
"People who carry balances from months to months" -> "Individuals who carry balances from month to month"
Explanation: "People" is less formal than "Individuals," and "months to months" is awkward; "month to month" is the correct idiomatic expression. -
"using a credit cards irresponsibly" -> "using credit cards irresponsibly"
Explanation: "a credit cards" is grammatically incorrect; "credit cards" should not be preceded by "a" when referring to the general concept.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using credit cards, fulfilling the prompt’s requirements. The advantages discussed include convenience and security, while the disadvantages focus on debt accumulation and high-interest rates. However, the discussion could be more balanced, as the advantages section is slightly more developed than the disadvantages section. For instance, the advantages are elaborated with examples and explanations, while the disadvantages could benefit from similar depth.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should ensure that both sides are equally explored. Adding more examples or statistics related to the disadvantages, such as specific data on debt levels among credit card users, could provide a more comprehensive view. Additionally, ensuring that each point is equally detailed would help in achieving a more balanced response.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both the benefits and drawbacks of credit cards. However, the introduction could be more assertive in stating the writer’s opinion on the overall impact of credit cards. Phrases like "should also be considered" suggest a neutral stance rather than a clear opinion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction. For example, they could indicate whether they believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa. This would provide a clearer framework for the reader and guide the development of the essay.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in the advantages section, where the writer elaborates on convenience and security. However, the support for the disadvantages is less robust. The mention of young adults in Vietnam is a good example, but it would benefit from further elaboration or additional examples to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point. For instance, discussing specific consequences of debt accumulation or providing a real-life scenario could help illustrate the negative aspects more vividly. Additionally, ensuring that each point is supported with relevant examples will strengthen the overall argument.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be clearer, such as "the convenience and providing security for users of credit cards makes them a practical choice for modern-day transactions," which could be more concise and directly related to the advantages discussed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should aim for clarity and conciseness in their language. Avoiding overly complex sentences and ensuring that each sentence directly supports the main argument will help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, a brief conclusion summarizing the main points could reinforce the focus and provide closure to the discussion.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, balance, and depth of their response, potentially raising their score in the Task Response criteria.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion implied through the discussion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the benefits and drawbacks could be more explicit to guide the reader. The introduction mentions both benefits and drawbacks but does not clearly signal the transition to the body paragraphs, which could confuse readers about the essay’s direction.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer transition phrases between sections. For example, after discussing the advantages, a sentence like "However, it is also important to consider the potential drawbacks of credit card usage" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that section.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of credit card usage, either advantages or disadvantages. However, the internal structure of some paragraphs could be improved. For example, the second paragraph discussing advantages could benefit from clearer separation between different points, as some sentences are overly long and contain multiple ideas.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter, more digestible ones. For instance, in the advantages paragraph, separate the points about convenience and security into distinct sentences or even sub-paragraphs to enhance clarity.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "on the other hand," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like "As a result consequence" are redundant and could confuse readers. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "furthermore" to add information, "however" to contrast ideas, and "in conclusion" to summarize points. Additionally, ensure that phrases are used correctly and avoid redundancy. For instance, revise "As a result consequence" to simply "As a result" or "Consequently" to maintain clarity.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improving the logical flow, paragraph structure, and variety of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing the benefits and drawbacks of credit cards. Phrases such as "convenient and widely accepted method of payment" and "potential for accumulating debts" indicate an attempt to use varied language. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "credit cards" being used excessively without variation. The use of "benefit" and "drawback" is appropriate but could be expanded with synonyms or more nuanced terms to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "credit cards," alternatives like "plastic money," "charge cards," or "financial tools" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "advantages" and "disadvantages" interchangeably with "benefits" and "drawbacks" would enhance the range of vocabulary.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the overall clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "the needs of to carrying cash" is awkward and unclear. The term "frauds and thefts" should be singular ("fraud and theft") for accuracy. Additionally, "making transactions quickly and easilyy" contains a spelling error and redundancy in phrasing. The phrase "the convenience and providing security" is also grammatically incorrect and lacks precision.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Revising phrases for grammatical correctness, such as changing "the needs of to carrying cash" to "the need to carry cash," would improve clarity. Furthermore, ensuring that terms are used in their correct forms, such as "fraud and theft," will enhance precision. Proofreading for grammatical structures and ensuring that phrases are concise will also help improve this aspect.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that affect the overall impression of lexical resource. For instance, "easilyy" has an extra ‘y,’ "shoppings" should be "shopping," and "iIf" contains a capitalization error. These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can distract the reader from the content of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary and terms relevant to the topic could help reduce errors in future essays. Keeping a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly may also be beneficial.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and attempts to use a range of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in lexical resource. By expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision in word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence employs a complex structure: "Currently, applying for and receiving a credit card is rather simple." However, there is a tendency to repeat certain structures, such as "credit cards" at the beginning of multiple sentences, which can detract from the overall variety. Additionally, phrases like "One of the benefits of using credit cards is that they can credit cards offer…" indicate redundancy and a lack of fluidity in expression.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should aim to incorporate more varied sentence beginnings and avoid repetitive phrases. For example, instead of starting consecutive sentences with "credit cards," the writer could use alternatives like "These cards," "Such financial tools," or "This method of payment." Additionally, utilizing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses could enrich the text, such as "Although credit cards offer convenience, they also pose significant risks if not managed properly."
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, phrases like "credit card bring certain benefit" should be corrected to "credit cards bring certain benefits." There are also issues with article usage, such as "the needs of to carrying cash," which should be "the need to carry cash." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary space before commas and the inconsistent capitalization of "iIf," detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and the correct form of nouns. A careful proofreading process can help catch these errors. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas and capitalization, will enhance the clarity of the writing. For instance, the sentence "As a result consequence, the convenience and providing security for users of credit cards makes them a practical choice for modern-day transactions" could be revised to "As a consequence, the convenience and security provided by credit cards make them a practical choice for modern-day transactions." This not only corrects grammatical issues but also improves the flow of the sentence.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of grammatical structures, there is room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality and coherence of their writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
Currently, applying for and receiving a credit card is rather simple. Nevertheless, some people run into issues when they are unable to repay their debts. While credit cards bring certain benefits, the drawbacks should also be considered.
One of the benefits of using credit cards is that they offer a convenient and widely accepted method of payment. To be more specific, credit cards may eliminate the need to carry cash or write checks, making transactions quick and easy. They can be used for various types of purchases, including online shopping, travel bookings, and everyday expenses. Another positive aspect is that credit cards seem to offer protection against fraud and theft. For instance, if individuals lose their wallets or are mugged in the streets, a quick phone call to the bank means that the card will be instantly refused if anyone tries to use it. Not only this, the credit card company can also place a hold on it to prevent fraudulent purchases. As a consequence, the convenience and security provided by credit cards make them a practical choice for modern-day transactions.
On the other hand, the drawback of using credit cards is the potential for accumulating debts. In more detail, many people tend to overspend when using credit cards, as they do not feel the immediate impact on their finances. This can lead to a cycle of debt, especially if individuals fail to make full payments on time. In Vietnam, this issue is prevalent among young adults who are enticed by credit card offers and end up with substantial debts that are difficult to manage. Another significant drawback of credit cards is the higher interest rates charged on outstanding balances. To illustrate, if individuals are unable to pay off their credit card bills in full each month, they will incur interest charges, which can accumulate rapidly. People who carry balances from month to month can find themselves burdened by substantial interest payments, making it harder to escape the debt cycle. Therefore, using credit cards irresponsibly can have negative consequences for individuals’ financial well-being and their credit scores.