Nowadays, it’s easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they’re not able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards?

One significant benefit of credit cards is that they offer greater security. Credit cards have crucially enhanced the utility of making payments. Specifically, information security systems guarantee safety for each personal account, avoiding threats and monitoring suspicious activity. For instance, if a card is lost, the company can place a hold on it to prevent illegal use. Another positive aspect is that credit cards are easy to apply for. Applications are accessible to the public, ensuring both convenience and protection for users. For example, many options are available online, making the process accessible to everyone. This enhances financial safety and privacy, making credit cards a valuable tool for managing personal finances.
However, there are two drawbacks to consider. Firstly, the risk of financial trouble can lead to dig yourself into a hole. In other words, easy access to more funds can result in significant debt if not managed properly, which can lead to overspending and create hard-to-pay balances. Another negative aspect is that credit cards come with high cost of borrowing, which makes debt management challenging and can accumulate rapidly. High interest rates, service fees, and penalties for late payments all contribute to this issue. Clearly, not disciplined use of credit cards can quickly erode financial health, leading to long-term encounter financial issues.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"One significant benefit of credit cards is that they offer greater security." -> "One notable advantage of credit cards is their enhanced security features."
Explanation: Replacing "greater security" with "their enhanced security features" specifies the type of security offered by credit cards, making the statement more precise and formal.
"Credit cards have crucially enhanced the utility of making payments." -> "Credit cards have significantly improved the functionality of payment transactions."
Explanation: "Crucially enhanced" is an overly dramatic and informal phrase. "Significantly improved" is more appropriate for academic writing, and "functionality of payment transactions" is more specific than "utility of making payments."
"information security systems guarantee safety for each personal account" -> "information security systems ensure the safety of each personal account"
Explanation: "Guarantee" is too absolute and informal for academic writing. "Ensure" is more appropriate and precise, and rephrasing to "the safety of each personal account" clarifies the scope of protection.
"avoiding threats and monitoring suspicious activity" -> "preventing unauthorized transactions and monitoring suspicious activity"
Explanation: "Avoiding threats" is vague and informal. "Preventing unauthorized transactions" is more specific and formal, fitting the context of financial security.
"if a card is lost, the company can place a hold on it to prevent illegal use" -> "if a card is lost, the issuer can temporarily suspend its use to prevent unauthorized transactions"
Explanation: "Place a hold on it" is informal and imprecise. "Temporarily suspend its use" is more formal and accurately describes the action taken by the issuer.
"Applications are accessible to the public" -> "Applications are publicly accessible"
Explanation: "Accessible to the public" is redundant. "Publicly accessible" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.
"making the process accessible to everyone" -> "ensuring universal accessibility"
Explanation: "Making the process accessible to everyone" is verbose and informal. "Ensuring universal accessibility" is more concise and formal.
"This enhances financial safety and privacy" -> "This enhances financial security and privacy"
Explanation: "Safety" is less specific than "security" in the context of financial transactions, which is more precise and appropriate.
"the risk of financial trouble can lead to dig yourself into a hole" -> "the risk of financial trouble can lead to financial difficulties"
Explanation: "Dig yourself into a hole" is an idiom that is too informal for academic writing. "Financial difficulties" is a more formal and precise term.
"easy access to more funds can result in significant debt" -> "easy access to additional funds can lead to substantial debt"
Explanation: "More funds" is vague; "additional funds" is more specific. "Substantial debt" is a more formal term than "significant debt."
"which can lead to overspending and create hard-to-pay balances" -> "which can result in overspending and create difficult-to-pay balances"
Explanation: "Create hard-to-pay balances" is informal and imprecise. "Create difficult-to-pay balances" is more formal and accurate.
"high cost of borrowing" -> "high borrowing costs"
Explanation: "High cost of borrowing" is grammatically awkward. "High borrowing costs" is more natural and formal.
"can accumulate rapidly" -> "can accumulate quickly"
Explanation: "Rapidly" is slightly informal and less precise in this context. "Quickly" is more commonly used in formal writing to describe rapid accumulation.
"not disciplined use of credit cards" -> "improper use of credit cards"
Explanation: "Not disciplined use" is awkward and unclear. "Improper use" is a more direct and formal term that clearly conveys misuse.
"leading to long-term encounter financial issues" -> "leading to long-term financial difficulties"
Explanation: "Encounter financial issues" is incorrect and unclear. "Financial difficulties" is the correct term and is more formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards, which is a requirement of the prompt. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While it mentions security and ease of application as advantages, it does not delve deeply into these points or explore additional advantages that could be relevant, such as rewards programs or credit building. Similarly, the disadvantages are mentioned but lack depth; for example, the essay could discuss the psychological effects of credit card debt or the impact on credit scores.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide a more comprehensive exploration of both advantages and disadvantages. This could involve adding more examples or details about each point, ensuring that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered. For instance, discussing how credit cards can help build credit history could strengthen the advantages section.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a generally clear position regarding the pros and cons of credit cards, but it lacks a definitive stance or conclusion that ties the arguments together. The transition between advantages and disadvantages feels abrupt, and there is no clear summary or personal opinion expressed at the end.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should consider including a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and expresses a personal opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa. This would help to unify the essay and provide a clearer perspective for the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat limited and do not extend beyond basic statements. For example, while the essay mentions security and ease of application, it does not provide sufficient supporting details or examples that would help to illustrate these points more vividly. The discussion of disadvantages also lacks depth and could benefit from more nuanced exploration.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes. For instance, when discussing the high cost of borrowing, including a specific example of how interest rates can accumulate over time would provide a clearer picture of the potential pitfalls of credit card use.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. However, there are moments where the language becomes vague, such as in the phrase "dig yourself into a hole," which could be clearer. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more structured approach to ensure that each point directly relates back to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of credit cards. This would help to keep the writing on track and make it easier for the reader to follow the argument.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on expanding their ideas, providing more detailed support for their arguments, and ensuring a clear and cohesive structure throughout the essay. Additionally, addressing the word count issue is crucial, as being under the required word limit can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction to the advantages of credit cards followed by a discussion of the disadvantages. The transition from benefits to drawbacks is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the first paragraph discusses security and ease of application, but these points could be more effectively linked to a central theme of convenience, which would enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider grouping related ideas more tightly. For example, when discussing advantages, you could first introduce the theme of security and then elaborate on how easy applications contribute to that security. Additionally, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through your argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, which aids in readability. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer separation of ideas, as the points about financial trouble and high costs are somewhat jumbled together, making it slightly harder to follow.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant details. For instance, consider splitting the second paragraph into two: one focusing on the risks of overspending and the other on the costs associated with credit cards. This would provide clearer focus and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "however," and "another aspect." These devices help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "another aspect," you could use alternatives like "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" to introduce contrasting points. Additionally, using phrases that indicate cause and effect, such as "as a result" or "consequently," can help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "security," "utility," "monitoring," and "overspending." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "credit cards" and "financial." While the essay does introduce some variety, it lacks the sophistication and breadth expected at higher band levels. For instance, terms like "financial trouble" could be replaced with "fiscal distress" or "monetary challenges" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. Creating a list of alternative terms related to finance and credit can help diversify vocabulary. Additionally, reading more academic texts or articles on finance could expose the writer to a broader range of terminology.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "information security systems" and "high cost of borrowing." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "dig yourself into a hole," which is informal and may not be suitable for an academic essay. Furthermore, the phrase "not disciplined use of credit cards" is awkwardly constructed and could be more clearly expressed as "indisciplined use of credit cards."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using formal language and avoiding colloquial expressions. Revising sentences for clarity and grammatical correctness will also help. For example, instead of saying "dig yourself into a hole," the writer could say "fall into a cycle of debt." Additionally, utilizing a thesaurus can help find more precise synonyms that fit the context better.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "not disciplined use of credit cards," which could be misinterpreted due to its awkward structure rather than spelling errors. The phrase "encounter financial issues" should be "encountering financial issues," indicating a grammatical oversight rather than a spelling mistake.
- How to improve: To improve spelling and grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools. Practicing writing short paragraphs and focusing on correct sentence structure can also help. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can aid in catching errors that may be overlooked during silent reading.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "One significant benefit of credit cards is that they offer greater security" showcases a clear and effective structure. Additionally, the sentence "However, there are two drawbacks to consider" introduces a contrasting idea effectively. However, there is a tendency to rely on similar sentence patterns, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and elaborated upon, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the way ideas are presented. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Another positive aspect is" or "Another negative aspect is," try using different introductory phrases or clauses. Incorporating more complex sentences that combine ideas can also enhance the flow and sophistication of the writing. For instance, you could combine sentences to create a more nuanced argument, such as, "While credit cards offer convenience and security, they also pose significant risks if not managed carefully."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, the phrase "can lead to dig yourself into a hole" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "can lead you to dig yourself into a hole." Additionally, the phrase "not disciplined use of credit cards" is awkward and should be rephrased to "undisciplined use of credit cards." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which can lead to overspending" to separate it from the main clause.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully to catch awkward phrases and grammatical mistakes. Consider focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that phrases are structured correctly. Additionally, practice using punctuation to clarify meaning, particularly with complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where the flow is disrupted or where punctuation could be improved for better readability.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

One significant benefit of credit cards is that they offer greater security. Credit cards have crucially enhanced the functionality of making payments. Specifically, information security systems guarantee the safety of each personal account, preventing unauthorized transactions and monitoring suspicious activity. For instance, if a card is lost, the issuer can temporarily suspend its use to prevent illegal use. Another positive aspect is that credit cards are easy to apply for. Applications are publicly accessible, ensuring both convenience and protection for users. For example, many options are available online, making the process accessible to everyone. This enhances financial security and privacy, making credit cards a valuable tool for managing personal finances.

However, there are two drawbacks to consider. Firstly, the risk of financial trouble can lead to digging yourself into a hole. In other words, easy access to additional funds can result in substantial debt if not managed properly, which can lead to overspending and create difficult-to-pay balances. Another negative aspect is that credit cards come with high borrowing costs, which makes debt management challenging and can accumulate quickly. High interest rates, service fees, and penalties for late payments all contribute to this issue. Clearly, improper use of credit cards can quickly erode financial health, leading to long-term financial difficulties.