Nowadays, many countries choose the path of tourism to develop the economy in their country. However, tourism will always have an impact on the places visited. Sometimes the impact is good, but often it has a negative effect on inhabitants and the environment in that area. Write an essay to present influences on the growth of tourism
Nowadays, many countries choose the path of tourism to develop the economy in their country. However, tourism will always have an impact on the places visited. Sometimes the impact is good, but often it has a negative effect on inhabitants and the environment in that area.
Write an essay to present influences on the growth of tourism
Tourism has become a crucial economic driver for many nations, fostering prosperity through job creation, increased local revenue, and improved infrastructure. However, it also presents significant challenges, particularly concerning the cultural integrity and local livelihoods of host communities. This essay will explore the cultural and social impacts of tourism, specifically how it affects cultural authenticity and local access to traditional resources.
One of the most profound impacts of international tourism is the erosion of cultural authenticity within host communities. Although tourism can facilitate cultural exchange, it often leads to the commercialization of local traditions. To cater to tourist preferences, authentic cultural expressions may be simplified or modified, diminishing their historical and spiritual significance. For example, traditional ceremonies or crafts might be adapted to prioritize entertainment rather than genuine representation, resulting in a diluted portrayal of cultural heritage. Over time, this transformation can erode the local population's connection to its cultural roots, leading to a weakened sense of identity.
In addition to cultural concerns, the construction of resorts exacerbates these issues by restricting local access to coastal areas. In many coastal regions, resorts with exclusive beach access obstruct traditional pathways that locals have long used for fishing and gathering seafood. This limitation not only impairs their economic activities but also disrupts cultural practices tied to the sea. Consequently, the loss of access undermines their economic opportunities and further diminishes their cultural identity, highlighting the negative social and economic ramifications of resort development on local communities.
In conclusion, while tourism undeniably contributes to economic growth, it often undermines cultural authenticity and disrupts local livelihoods. Addressing these issues requires strategic interventions that protect cultural heritage and support local communities, ensuring a balance between economic benefits and the preservation of host communities' integrity.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"crucial economic driver" -> "key economic driver"
Explanation: The term "crucial" can be replaced with "key" to maintain a more formal tone and avoid emotional connotation, which is more suitable for academic writing. -
"fostering prosperity" -> "promoting economic prosperity"
Explanation: Adding "economic" clarifies the type of prosperity being referred to, enhancing specificity and precision in the context of economic discussions. -
"significantly" -> "substantially"
Explanation: "Substantially" is a more precise and formal term than "significantly," which can be seen as somewhat vague in academic contexts. -
"cultural integrity" -> "cultural heritage"
Explanation: "Cultural heritage" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "cultural integrity," which can be ambiguous and less commonly used in formal writing. -
"local livelihoods" -> "local residents’ livelihoods"
Explanation: Adding "residents’" clarifies that the livelihoods refer to those of the local people, enhancing specificity and avoiding ambiguity. -
"One of the most profound impacts" -> "One of the most significant impacts"
Explanation: "Significant" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe the importance of an impact, making it a more natural choice than "profound." -
"often leads to the commercialization" -> "frequently results in the commercialization"
Explanation: "Frequently" is more formal and precise than "often," and "results in" is a more academic phrase than "leads to." -
"simplified or modified" -> "simplified or altered"
Explanation: "Altered" is a more precise term in this context, suggesting a change in form or character, which is more suitable for describing cultural expressions. -
"resulting in a diluted portrayal" -> "resulting in a diminished representation"
Explanation: "Diminished representation" is a more precise and formal term than "diluted portrayal," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"weakened sense of identity" -> "eroded sense of identity"
Explanation: "Eroded" is a more precise term in this context, implying a gradual loss or deterioration, which is more appropriate for describing the impact on cultural identity. -
"construction of resorts" -> "development of resorts"
Explanation: "Development" is a more specific term in the context of building and infrastructure, aligning better with the academic tone. -
"exclusive beach access" -> "restricted beach access"
Explanation: "Restricted" is a more formal and precise term than "exclusive," which can imply a negative connotation. -
"impairs their economic activities" -> "adversely affects their economic activities"
Explanation: "Adversely affects" is a more formal and precise way to describe the negative impact on economic activities. -
"further diminishes" -> "further erodes"
Explanation: "Erodes" is a more precise term for describing the gradual loss or deterioration of cultural identity, fitting the academic style better.
These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the influences of tourism on both cultural authenticity and local livelihoods. It identifies the dual nature of tourism’s impact, highlighting both positive economic contributions and negative social consequences. The examples provided, such as the commercialization of cultural practices and restricted access to traditional resources, illustrate these points well. However, while the essay mentions the economic benefits of tourism, it could expand on these aspects to provide a more balanced view of the influences on tourism growth.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include additional examples or data that demonstrate the positive economic impacts of tourism, such as job creation statistics or improvements in local infrastructure. This would provide a more comprehensive exploration of the topic and ensure that all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the economic benefits of tourism while primarily focusing on its negative impacts on cultural integrity and local livelihoods. This position is consistently supported throughout the essay, with logical progression from one point to the next. However, the introduction could more explicitly state the overall stance on tourism’s growth, which would strengthen the clarity of the position.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the introduction could include a thesis statement that clearly outlines the essay’s argument regarding the influences of tourism. This would help set the tone for the reader and ensure that the position remains evident throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, particularly regarding the erosion of cultural authenticity and the impact of resort development on local access to resources. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the commercialization of cultural practices and the restriction of traditional pathways. However, some ideas could be further extended with additional supporting details or counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the essay could incorporate more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives on tourism’s benefits could provide a more nuanced discussion and strengthen the overall argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of tourism’s influences, consistently addressing the cultural and social impacts of tourism growth. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the discussion remains relevant throughout. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas, reinforcing the focus on the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the influences of tourism as outlined in the prompt. While the essay does this well, a careful review of each paragraph to ensure relevance could further enhance coherence and clarity.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the complexities of tourism’s impact on host communities. With some adjustments to balance the discussion of positive and negative influences, clarify the position, and extend supporting ideas, it could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main themes of cultural and social impacts of tourism. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of these themes, with the first paragraph addressing cultural authenticity and the second discussing the economic implications of resort development. This organization allows the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the transition between the two main points could be smoother, as the connection between cultural authenticity and local access to resources is not explicitly stated, which may leave the reader wanting more clarity on how these points interrelate.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider adding transitional phrases that explicitly link the ideas between paragraphs. For instance, after discussing cultural authenticity, a sentence could be added to indicate how this ties into the economic implications of tourism, such as, "In addition to cultural concerns, the economic ramifications of resort developments further complicate the issue."
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph addressing a specific impact of tourism. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into specific examples. However, the conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could benefit from a more robust synthesis of the ideas presented, rather than merely restating them.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph not only introduces a new idea but also connects back to the thesis. In the conclusion, instead of simply summarizing, consider synthesizing the discussed points to reinforce the overall argument. For example, you could emphasize how the economic benefits of tourism must be weighed against the cultural costs, creating a more integrated final statement.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "however," "although," and "consequently," which help to clarify relationships between ideas. These devices effectively guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded, as the essay relies heavily on a few transitional phrases, which may lead to a somewhat repetitive reading experience.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases that indicate contrast, addition, and cause-effect relationships. For example, instead of repeatedly using "however," you could alternate with phrases like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "furthermore." Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can enhance cohesion without over-relying on transitional phrases.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, achieving a Band Score of 7. By focusing on smoother transitions, enhancing paragraph synthesis, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can be further improved to reach a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively utilizing terms such as "economic driver," "cultural integrity," "commercialization," and "cultural exchange." These choices reflect an understanding of the topic and convey complex ideas clearly. Phrases like "diminishing their historical and spiritual significance" and "weakened sense of identity" further illustrate the writer’s ability to articulate nuanced thoughts. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are instances where more sophisticated synonyms could enhance the essay’s depth, such as using "detrimental" instead of "negative" when discussing impacts.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource further, the writer should aim to incorporate even more diverse vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. For example, instead of repeating "cultural authenticity," consider synonyms like "cultural genuineness" or "cultural fidelity." Additionally, integrating more academic or formal phrases can enrich the essay’s tone.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. Terms like "erosion of cultural authenticity" and "obstruct traditional pathways" are used accurately to describe the impacts of tourism. However, there are moments where the choice of words could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "diluted portrayal of cultural heritage" could be further clarified; "diluted" might imply a less severe impact than intended, suggesting a need for a stronger term to convey the seriousness of the issue.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider the connotations of words and select those that best reflect the severity of the impacts discussed. For example, replacing "diluted" with "compromised" or "eroded" could provide a clearer picture of the negative effects on cultural heritage. Additionally, using context-specific terminology related to tourism and cultural studies could strengthen the argument.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors throughout the text. Words such as "prosperity," "authenticity," and "ramifications" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer’s command of the language. This attention to detail contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular reading and writing practice can also help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or apps designed for language learning can provide additional support in identifying and correcting any potential errors in future essays.
Overall, the essay demonstrates strong lexical resource capabilities, with room for enhancement in vocabulary diversity, precision, and continued attention to spelling accuracy.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Although tourism can facilitate cultural exchange, it often leads to the commercialization of local traditions" showcases the ability to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures effectively, as seen in "this limitation not only impairs their economic activities but also disrupts cultural practices tied to the sea." The mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences contributes to the overall fluency and coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Given the economic benefits, many countries prioritize tourism…") or using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Never before have local traditions faced such challenges…") could add depth and complexity to the writing. Additionally, integrating more passive constructions where appropriate could diversify the sentence forms used.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy in the essay is quite high, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "the erosion of cultural authenticity within host communities" is grammatically sound and effectively communicates the intended meaning. Punctuation is also used correctly throughout the essay, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there are instances where the use of commas could be improved for clarity, such as in the sentence "Consequently, the loss of access undermines their economic opportunities and further diminishes their cultural identity," where a comma before "and" could help delineate the two independent clauses more clearly.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for minor errors and ensuring that punctuation enhances clarity. It may be beneficial to read the essay aloud to identify any awkward phrasing or punctuation missteps. Additionally, practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can help refine punctuation skills. Engaging with grammar resources or exercises focused on common pitfalls in academic writing could also be beneficial.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With slight improvements in sentence variety and punctuation, the writer could further elevate the quality of their writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
Tourism has become a crucial economic driver for many nations, promoting economic prosperity through job creation, increased local revenue, and improved infrastructure. However, it also presents significant challenges, particularly concerning the cultural integrity and local livelihoods of host communities. This essay will explore the cultural and social impacts of tourism, specifically how it affects cultural authenticity and local access to traditional resources.
One of the most significant impacts of international tourism is the erosion of cultural authenticity within host communities. Although tourism can facilitate cultural exchange, it frequently results in the commercialization of local traditions. To cater to tourist preferences, authentic cultural expressions may be simplified or altered, resulting in a diminished representation of their historical and spiritual significance. For example, traditional ceremonies or crafts might be adapted to prioritize entertainment rather than genuine representation, leading to a diluted portrayal of cultural heritage. Over time, this transformation can erode the local population’s connection to its cultural roots, resulting in an eroded sense of identity.
In addition to cultural concerns, the development of resorts exacerbates these issues by restricting local access to coastal areas. In many coastal regions, resorts with exclusive beach access obstruct traditional pathways that locals have long used for fishing and gathering seafood. This limitation not only adversely affects their economic activities but also disrupts cultural practices tied to the sea. Consequently, the loss of access undermines their economic opportunities and further erodes their cultural identity, highlighting the negative social and economic ramifications of resort development on local communities.
In conclusion, while tourism undeniably contributes to economic growth, it often undermines cultural authenticity and disrupts local livelihoods. Addressing these issues requires strategic interventions that protect cultural heritage and support local residents’ livelihoods, ensuring a balance between economic benefits and the preservation of host communities’ integrity.
