Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self-employment?

Recently, many individuals prefer being their own boss rather than working for a company. This preference can be attributed to the pressure from higher staff or bosses and the compulsory regulations in the workplace. While these reasons are understandable, there are certain drawbacks to self-employment that should be considered.
Pressure from higher staff or bosses is one of the main reasons employees choose to leave their jobs and turn to self-employment, despite its own disadvantages. For instance, the constant deadlines and numerous meetings during the workweek can be overwhelming. This stress can lead to exhaustion and a lack of self-determination, prompting individuals to start their own businesses. However, self-employment often lacks the opportunity to gain valuable experience from more experienced colleagues, which is crucial for success. Senior staff can provide guidance and skills that help employees achieve their goals more efficiently. In contrast, self-employed individuals may face greater obstacles and a steeper learning curve, which can lead to setbacks and failures.
Another reason for choosing self-employment over working for a company is the desire to avoid compulsory regulations. In other words, being their own boss allows individuals to have a flexible schedule and avoid dress codes, unlike the rigid timelines and uniforms required by traditional workplaces. However, while freelancing offers comfort and flexibility, it can unintentionally lead to a less disciplined work ethic.
In conclusion, many people prefer self-employment over working for someone else due to reasons such as excessive pressure from bosses and mandatory regulations. However, self-employment also presents several drawbacks that need to be considered.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Recently, many individuals prefer being their own boss" -> "Increasingly, many individuals opt for self-employment"
Explanation: "Increasingly" provides a more formal and precise temporal reference than "Recently," and "opt for self-employment" is a more formal expression than "prefer being their own boss."
"the pressure from higher staff or bosses" -> "the pressure from superiors"
Explanation: "Superiors" is a more formal and precise term than "higher staff or bosses," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the compulsory regulations in the workplace" -> "the mandatory regulations in the workplace"
Explanation: "Mandatory" is a more precise and formal term than "compulsory" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.
"despite its own disadvantages" -> "despite the disadvantages it entails"
Explanation: "Despite the disadvantages it entails" is more formal and precise, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"the constant deadlines and numerous meetings during the workweek" -> "the relentless deadlines and numerous meetings throughout the workweek"
Explanation: "Relentless" adds a stronger, more formal connotation than "constant," and "throughout" is more precise than "during."
"This stress can lead to exhaustion and a lack of self-determination" -> "This stress may lead to exhaustion and diminished self-determination"
Explanation: "May" is more academically cautious than "can," and "diminished" is a more precise term than "a lack of."
"prompting individuals to start their own businesses" -> "prompting individuals to pursue entrepreneurship"
Explanation: "Pursue entrepreneurship" is a more formal and specific term than "start their own businesses."
"self-employment often lacks the opportunity to gain valuable experience from more experienced colleagues" -> "self-employment frequently lacks the opportunity to acquire valuable expertise from more experienced colleagues"
Explanation: "Frequently" is more formal than "often," and "acquire valuable expertise" is a more precise and formal phrase than "gain valuable experience."
"Senior staff can provide guidance and skills" -> "senior staff members can offer guidance and expertise"
Explanation: "Members" is more formal than "staff," and "offer guidance and expertise" is a more precise and formal expression than "provide guidance and skills."
"self-employed individuals may face greater obstacles and a steeper learning curve" -> "self-employed individuals may encounter more significant obstacles and a steeper learning curve"
Explanation: "Encounter" is more formal than "face," and "more significant" is a more precise adjective than "greater."
"unintentionally lead to a less disciplined work ethic" -> "unintentionally result in a less disciplined work ethic"
Explanation: "Result in" is a more formal and precise verb choice than "lead to," aligning better with academic style.
"many people prefer self-employment over working for someone else" -> "many individuals prefer self-employment to working for others"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "to" is more formal than "over" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses reasons why individuals might prefer self-employment and outlines some disadvantages associated with it. The reasons given—pressure from higher staff and compulsory regulations—are relevant and well-articulated. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the disadvantages, as it primarily focuses on the challenges of self-employment without delving deeply into the potential negative aspects.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both parts of the question are equally developed. For instance, after discussing the reasons for self-employment, the essay should provide a more comprehensive list of disadvantages, such as financial instability, lack of benefits, and isolation. This would demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and provide a more nuanced answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the preference for self-employment, effectively stating the reasons behind this choice. However, the transition between discussing the reasons and the disadvantages could be smoother. The conclusion reiterates the main points but does not strongly emphasize the position taken throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, reinforcing the position in the conclusion by summarizing the key arguments and explicitly stating the implications of self-employment would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with some extension and support. For example, it discusses the pressure from higher staff and the lack of guidance in self-employment. However, the support for these ideas could be more robust. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be enriched with more specific instances or data to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to include more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. For instance, discussing specific scenarios where self-employed individuals faced challenges due to lack of mentorship or financial instability would provide a stronger foundation for the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, the mention of "less disciplined work ethic" could be elaborated to directly connect it to the disadvantages of self-employment rather than being presented as a side note.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each disadvantage back to the reasons for self-employment, thereby reinforcing the connection between the two parts of the question.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, depth, and coherence of their response, potentially raising their band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages. The introduction effectively sets the stage by stating the trend and the reasons behind it. Each paragraph addresses a specific reason for self-employment, followed by a discussion of its drawbacks. However, the transition between the reasons and their corresponding disadvantages could be more explicit. For example, the second paragraph discusses the pressure from bosses but does not clearly link this to the subsequent point about the lack of mentorship in self-employment.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the reasons to their drawbacks. For instance, after discussing the pressure from bosses, you could add a sentence like, "While escaping this pressure may seem appealing, it also means losing out on valuable mentorship opportunities." This would create a clearer connection between the ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific reasons and their drawbacks. However, the conclusion feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more robust summary of the points discussed.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion not only restates the main points but also synthesizes them into a cohesive final thought. For example, you could summarize the reasons and drawbacks in a way that emphasizes the complexity of the decision to pursue self-employment, perhaps suggesting that while it offers freedom, it also requires careful consideration of the associated challenges.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," and "in contrast," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a broader variety of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied transitions such as "on the other hand," "furthermore," or "in addition." For example, when introducing the second reason for self-employment, you could use "Moreover, another significant factor driving individuals towards self-employment is…" This would not only improve the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a more sophisticated use of language.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving the connections between ideas, enhancing the conclusion, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher band score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "self-employed," "pressure," "compulsory regulations," and "flexible schedule." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, the phrase "being their own boss" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, terms like "overwhelming" and "exhaustion" are effective but could be complemented with more varied expressions to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeating "self-employed," you could use "freelancer," "entrepreneur," or "independent contractor." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "autonomy," "entrepreneurial spirit," or "work-life balance," could elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the term "pressure from higher staff or bosses" could be more accurately expressed as "pressure from superiors" or "management." The phrase "lack of self-determination" might also be better articulated as "lack of autonomy" to convey the intended meaning more clearly.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words that convey your ideas more accurately. Reviewing the context of each term can help ensure that the vocabulary aligns with the intended message. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary resources can aid in finding more suitable alternatives.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted. Words such as "individuals," "experience," and "guidance" are spelled correctly, contributing positively to the overall impression of the writing. However, maintaining this level of accuracy throughout the essay is crucial, as even minor mistakes can detract from the overall quality.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, familiarizing yourself with commonly misspelled words and practicing them can further improve spelling skills.

Overall, while the essay meets the criteria for a Band 6 in Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, selecting more precise terms, and maintaining high spelling standards, the essay could achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "Pressure from higher staff or bosses is one of the main reasons employees choose to leave their jobs and turn to self-employment, despite its own disadvantages" showcases the ability to connect ideas effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "this preference can be attributed to the pressure from higher staff or bosses and the compulsory regulations in the workplace" could be restructured to enhance clarity and engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although many individuals prefer self-employment, they must also consider…") can add complexity. Additionally, using different sentence types, such as questions or exclamatory sentences, can make the writing more dynamic.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the use of the present tense is consistent and appropriate throughout the essay. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which is crucial for success" in the sentence "which is crucial for success." This could lead to confusion regarding the clause’s relationship to the rest of the sentence. Additionally, the phrase "the compulsory regulations in the workplace" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas more distinctly.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. A good practice is to read sentences aloud to identify natural pauses where commas may be needed. Furthermore, revisiting the rules for subordinate clauses can help clarify sentence structures. For example, ensuring that non-defining relative clauses are properly punctuated can improve overall clarity and flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, many individuals prefer being their own boss rather than working for a company. This preference can be attributed to the pressure from superiors and the mandatory regulations in the workplace. While these reasons are understandable, there are certain drawbacks to self-employment that should be considered.

The pressure from superiors is one of the main reasons employees choose to leave their jobs and turn to self-employment, despite the disadvantages it entails. For instance, the relentless deadlines and numerous meetings throughout the workweek can be overwhelming. This stress may lead to exhaustion and diminished self-determination, prompting individuals to start their own businesses. However, self-employment frequently lacks the opportunity to acquire valuable expertise from more experienced colleagues, which is crucial for success. Senior staff members can offer guidance and expertise that help employees achieve their goals more efficiently. In contrast, self-employed individuals may encounter more significant obstacles and a steeper learning curve, which can lead to setbacks and failures.

Another reason for choosing self-employment over working for a company is the desire to avoid mandatory regulations. In other words, being their own boss allows individuals to have a flexible schedule and avoid dress codes, unlike the rigid timelines and uniforms required by traditional workplaces. However, while freelancing offers comfort and flexibility, it can unintentionally result in a less disciplined work ethic.

In conclusion, many people prefer self-employment over working for someone else due to reasons such as excessive pressure from superiors and mandatory regulations. However, self-employment also presents several drawbacks that need to be considered.