Nowadays, more and more foods are being imported. While many people think that it is good, others believe that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, more and more foods are being imported. While many people think that it is good, others believe that it has many drawbacks.
Discuss both views and give your opinion

While people hold a belief that in contemporary life, it is good and more popular for foods to be imported, others disagree and claim that imported foods trigger many drawbacks. Although both these points of view sound reasonable, I am more inclined to the latter than the former.
Regarding the first standpoint, there are two reasons why it makes sense. One of them is the diversity of cuisines, which is synonymous with the fact that dwellers have more opportunities to taste excotic food and cuisines. To be more specific, some fruits and vegetables can not only be grown in specific regions but they also need to be professionally taken care of in good conditions such as: weather, high-tech devices,… so most people can not resist the temptation to these types of fruit. A telling example is that kiwi can not be grown and produced in Viet Nam, but the residents can still join its favor thanks to importing. Another contributor to this is that the government can promote international trading. This issue can allow people have more revenues and develop their countries, this is on the grounds that selling their rare products to the world.
However, I am inclined to the second viewpoint due to the following reasons. The most striking one is the low-quality food which can cause health problems such as: diabetes, cardiovascular diseases,….. Since the imported foods have to be transported over long distances and for a long time, it is necessary for them to preserve with the help of the chemical to maintain and increase its freshness. However, these preservative chemicals may take a heavy toll on our health and immune system, which can lead to carcinogenicity and death. Another contributor to this is the increasing local unemployment. More specifically, the higher people invest on imported food, the less employment for local business.
In conclusion, while it is undeniable that more and more foods are imported. I claim that it brings a lot of drawbacks

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"people hold a belief" -> "many people believe"
Explanation: "Many people believe" is a more direct and concise way to express the idea, aligning better with academic style by avoiding the passive construction "hold a belief."
"it is good and more popular for foods to be imported" -> "there is a growing trend towards the importation of foods"
Explanation: "There is a growing trend towards the importation of foods" is more precise and formal, avoiding the vague and informal "it is good and more popular."
"trigger many drawbacks" -> "pose several drawbacks"
Explanation: "Pose several drawbacks" is a more formal and precise term, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more colloquial "trigger many."
"I am more inclined to the latter" -> "I am more persuaded by the latter"
Explanation: "I am more persuaded by the latter" uses a more formal verb "persuaded" and avoids the colloquial "inclined," which is less appropriate in academic contexts.
"synonymous with the fact that dwellers have more opportunities" -> "equivalent to the fact that residents have more opportunities"
Explanation: "Equivalent to" is a more precise and formal synonym for "synonymous with," and "residents" is a more formal term than "dwellers."
"excotic food and cuisines" -> "exotic foods and cuisines"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "excotic" to "exotic."
"can not only be grown in specific regions but they also need to be professionally taken care of in good conditions such as: weather, high-tech devices,… so most people can not resist the temptation to these types of fruit." -> "cannot only be cultivated in specific regions but also require specialized care in optimal conditions, such as weather and high-tech equipment, making them irresistible to many people."
Explanation: Revises for clarity and formality, replacing "can not" with "cannot" and "taken care of" with "cultivated" and "require" for a more precise and formal tone.
"kiwi can not be grown and produced in Viet Nam" -> "kiwi cannot be cultivated and produced in Vietnam"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "Viet Nam" to "Vietnam" and uses "cultivated" for a more formal tone.
"join its favor" -> "enjoy its favor"
Explanation: "Enjoy its favor" is the correct phrase, replacing the awkward and unclear "join its favor."
"the government can promote international trading" -> "the government can facilitate international trade"
Explanation: "Facilitate international trade" is a more precise and formal expression than "promote international trading."
"allow people have more revenues" -> "enable people to generate more revenue"
Explanation: "Enable people to generate more revenue" is grammatically correct and more formal than "allow people have more revenues."
"selling their rare products to the world" -> "exporting their rare products globally"
Explanation: "Exporting their rare products globally" is more specific and formal than "selling their rare products to the world."
"low-quality food which can cause health problems such as: diabetes, cardiovascular diseases,….." -> "low-quality foods that can cause health issues such as diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and others"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and replaces "which" with "that" for clarity, and "and others" is added for inclusivity and formality.
"take a heavy toll on our health and immune system" -> "exact a significant toll on our health and immune systems"
Explanation: "Exact a significant toll" is a more formal and precise expression than "take a heavy toll."
"carcinogenicity and death" -> "cancer and mortality"
Explanation: "Cancer and mortality" are more specific and medically accurate terms than "carcinogenicity and death."
"the higher people invest on imported food" -> "the greater the investment in imported foods"
Explanation: "The greater the investment in imported foods" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the higher people invest on imported food."
"the less employment for local business" -> "less employment opportunities for local businesses"
Explanation: "Less employment opportunities for local businesses" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the less employment for local business."
"it is undeniable that more and more foods are imported" -> "it is undeniable that there is an increasing trend towards the importation of foods"
Explanation: "There is an increasing trend towards the importation of foods" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the importation of food, presenting arguments for both the benefits and drawbacks. The first viewpoint is discussed with points about diversity in cuisine and economic benefits, while the second viewpoint highlights health risks and local unemployment. However, the discussion of the second viewpoint is somewhat less developed than the first, which could lead to an imbalance in the treatment of the two perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide a more thorough exploration of the drawbacks of imported food. This could include additional examples or statistics to support the claims made about health risks and unemployment. Additionally, ensuring that both viewpoints are given equal weight in terms of detail and analysis will strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of the drawbacks of imported food, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. However, the transition between discussing the two viewpoints could be smoother, as the shift from the first to the second viewpoint feels abrupt. The phrase "I am more inclined to the latter than the former" is somewhat vague and could be articulated more clearly.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer could use more explicit language when transitioning between viewpoints. Phrases like "While I acknowledge the benefits of imported food, I firmly believe that the drawbacks outweigh these advantages" would clarify the stance and provide a more cohesive argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the diversity of cuisines and health risks associated with imported foods. However, some ideas are not fully extended or supported with sufficient detail. For instance, the mention of "chemical preservatives" could be elaborated with specific examples or studies that illustrate their health impacts. The argument about local unemployment is introduced but lacks depth and supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with more specific examples, statistics, or studies. This could involve discussing the types of chemicals used in food preservation and their known effects or providing data on unemployment rates in local businesses due to imported food competition.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the importation of food and its pros and cons. However, there are moments where the relevance of certain points could be questioned, such as the mention of "high-tech devices" in the context of growing specific fruits. This point feels somewhat tangential and does not directly relate to the main argument about imported foods.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central topic of imported foods. It may be beneficial to outline the main arguments before writing to ensure that each point made contributes to the overall discussion. Avoiding unrelated details will help keep the essay concise and relevant.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a balanced view, but it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer transitions, and more focused arguments to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views, followed by two body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint. The first paragraph addresses the benefits of imported foods, while the second focuses on the drawbacks. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother, as the essay jumps from one viewpoint to another without a clear linking sentence that summarizes the first point before introducing the second.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases at the end of paragraphs to signal a shift in perspective. For example, after discussing the benefits of imported foods, a sentence like "Despite these advantages, there are significant drawbacks that cannot be overlooked" would help guide the reader more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct viewpoint, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, the paragraphs could be more developed. The first paragraph, while outlining the benefits, lacks depth in exploring the implications of these benefits, and the second paragraph could benefit from more examples or elaboration on the points made.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, in the paragraph discussing the drawbacks, you could expand on the health implications of imported foods by providing statistics or studies that support your claims.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "more specifically," and "although," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some sentences could benefit from clearer connections. For example, the phrase "this issue can allow people have more revenues" is somewhat vague and could be better linked to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used accurately and effectively to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of "this issue can allow people have more revenues," consider rephrasing to "This not only boosts local economies but also enhances trade relationships."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents coherent arguments, focusing on enhancing logical flow, developing paragraphs more thoroughly, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "diversity of cuisines," "exotic food," "international trading," and "carcinogenicity." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "imported foods" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "imported foods," alternatives like "foreign produce" or "overseas products" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "health problems" and "chemical preservatives." However, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "take a heavy toll on our health" is somewhat vague and could be expressed more clearly. The term "dwellers" is also less common and might not be the best choice in this context; "residents" or "inhabitants" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Instead of "take a heavy toll," a more precise expression could be "have detrimental effects." Additionally, reviewing context-appropriate vocabulary can help ensure that word choices align with the essay’s themes.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "excotic" (should be "exotic"), "Viet Nam" (should be "Vietnam"), and "preservative chemicals" (should be "preservatives"). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises focused on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch spelling mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud may also assist in identifying errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both viewpoints, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as “Although both these points of view sound reasonable, I am more inclined to the latter than the former” shows a good command of grammatical structures. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures that could enhance the essay’s overall fluency and coherence. For example, the phrase “Another contributor to this is…” is used multiple times, which can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use a mix of clauses. For instance, instead of starting sentences with “Another contributor to this is…”, the writer could use phrases like “In addition to this…” or “Furthermore, it can be argued that…”. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence types, such as using conditional clauses or participial phrases, could enhance the complexity and interest of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase “the government can promote international trading” is grammatically correct, but the subsequent clause “This issue can allow people have more revenues” contains an error; it should read “allow people to have more revenues.” Furthermore, punctuation issues arise with the use of ellipses and commas, such as in “such as: weather, high-tech devices,…” where the ellipsis is unnecessary and the colon should be omitted. Additionally, the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences is inconsistent.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions. It would be beneficial to practice sentence combining and editing exercises to enhance punctuation skills. For example, ensuring that all infinitives are correctly formed (e.g., “allow people to have”) and reviewing the rules for comma usage in complex sentences would be advantageous. Engaging in grammar exercises that focus on these areas can help solidify understanding and application in future writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

While people hold the belief that in contemporary life, it is good and more popular for foods to be imported, others disagree and claim that imported foods pose several drawbacks. Although both these points of view sound reasonable, I am more persuaded by the latter than the former.

Regarding the first standpoint, there are two reasons why it makes sense. One of them is the diversity of cuisines, which is equivalent to the fact that residents have more opportunities to taste exotic foods and cuisines. To be more specific, some fruits and vegetables cannot only be grown in specific regions, but they also need to be professionally taken care of in optimal conditions such as weather and high-tech equipment, making them irresistible to many people. A telling example is that kiwi cannot be cultivated and produced in Vietnam, but the residents can still enjoy its flavor thanks to importing. Another contributor to this is that the government can facilitate international trade. This issue can enable people to generate more revenue and develop their countries, as they sell their rare products to the world.

However, I am inclined to the second viewpoint due to the following reasons. The most striking one is the low-quality foods that can cause health problems such as diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and others. Since imported foods have to be transported over long distances and for a long time, it is necessary for them to be preserved with the help of chemicals to maintain and increase their freshness. However, these preservative chemicals may exact a significant toll on our health and immune systems, which can lead to cancer and mortality. Another contributor to this is the increasing local unemployment. More specifically, the greater the investment in imported foods, the fewer employment opportunities there are for local businesses.

In conclusion, while it is undeniable that there is an increasing trend towards the importation of foods, I claim that it brings many drawbacks.