Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days have witnessed the growth of people deciding to have children later in their life. While this trend could be ascribed by various reasons, the drawbacks of having children later in life are more serious and should not be overlooked.
On the one hand, there are some reasons for delaying parenthood. One driving force behind this phenomenon is the priority of career and financial stability over starting a family. This is mainly because the competitive job market and the rising cost of living often make it challenging for young adults to balance work and family life. Another contributing factor can be development in reproductive technology. Thanks to advances in medical technology, such as fertility treatments and egg freezing, individuals can afford to delay parenthood without significantly compromising their chances of having children later in life. For example, women may choose to freeze their eggs in their early 30s, allowing them to focus on their careers with the option to have children when they feel ready.
On the other hand, I believe that while having children later in life have both positive and negative impacts, the drawbacks of this trend are much more considerable, which should take into consideration. One of the main advantages is that children can grow up in greater emotional and financial preparedness. This provides youngsters with a better quality of life, as older parents are often more emotionally mature and financially stable, which can result in a more nurturing and secure environment for raising children. However, delaying childbirth can increase the risk of complications for both the mother and the child, including a higher likelihood of infertility, pregnancy complications and genetic disorders. Additionally, older parents may have less physical energy to keep up with the demands of raising young children and may face concerns about longevity, potentially impacting their ability to be actively involved in their children’s lives as they grow older. For instance, parents in their 40s or 50s may find it challenging to engage in physically demanding activities with their offspring.
In conclusion, I would like to reaffirm that despite the reasons and benefits to support delaying parenthood, it is usually more disadvantageous to give birth at a later age.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"These days have witnessed" -> "In recent years, it has been observed"
Explanation: "In recent years, it has been observed" is more formal and precise, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "These days have witnessed."
"could be ascribed by various reasons" -> "can be attributed to various reasons"
Explanation: "Can be attributed to" is more accurate and formal than "could be ascribed by," which is grammatically incorrect and awkward.
"the drawbacks of having children later in life are more serious and should not be overlooked" -> "the disadvantages of delaying parenthood are more significant and warrant consideration"
Explanation: "Disadvantages of delaying parenthood" is more specific and formal than "drawbacks of having children later in life." "Warrant consideration" is a more academic expression than "should not be overlooked."
"One driving force behind this phenomenon" -> "A significant factor contributing to this trend"
Explanation: "A significant factor contributing to this trend" is more precise and formal than "One driving force behind this phenomenon," which is somewhat colloquial.
"the competitive job market and the rising cost of living" -> "the competitive job market and escalating living costs"
Explanation: "Escalating living costs" is a more concise and formal way to describe the rising cost of living.
"Thanks to advances in medical technology" -> "Owing to advancements in medical technology"
Explanation: "Owing to advancements" is more formal and academically appropriate than "Thanks to advances."
"individuals can afford to delay parenthood" -> "individuals can afford to postpone parenthood"
Explanation: "Postpone" is more specific and formal than "delay" in this context, referring to the act of putting off a decision or action.
"I believe that while having children later in life have both positive and negative impacts" -> "I contend that delaying parenthood has both positive and negative impacts"
Explanation: "I contend" is more assertive and formal than "I believe," and "delaying parenthood" is more precise than "having children later in life."
"the drawbacks of this trend are much more considerable" -> "the disadvantages of this trend are significantly more pronounced"
Explanation: "Significantly more pronounced" is a more formal and precise way to describe the severity of the drawbacks.
"which should take into consideration" -> "which should be considered"
Explanation: "Which should be considered" is grammatically correct and more formal than "which should take into consideration."
"children can grow up in greater emotional and financial preparedness" -> "children can mature in a more emotionally and financially prepared environment"
Explanation: "Mature in a more emotionally and financially prepared environment" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the environment’s impact on the children’s development.
"older parents may have less physical energy" -> "older parents may possess less physical stamina"
Explanation: "Possess less physical stamina" is a more formal and precise way to describe the physical abilities of older parents.
"it is usually more disadvantageous to give birth at a later age" -> "it is generally more disadvantageous to delay childbirth at an older age"
Explanation: "Delay childbirth at an older age" is more specific and formal than "give birth at a later age," and "generally" is more appropriate than "usually" in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for delaying parenthood and weighing the advantages against the disadvantages. The first paragraph outlines reasons such as career prioritization and advancements in reproductive technology, while the second paragraph presents both the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life. The conclusion reaffirms the stance that disadvantages outweigh the advantages, which aligns well with the prompt’s requirements.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about the reasons for delaying parenthood and the impacts of doing so. This would provide a more comprehensive answer and strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the disadvantages of delaying parenthood outweigh the advantages. This is evident in the language used, such as "the drawbacks of having children later in life are more serious" and "it is usually more disadvantageous to give birth at a later age." The position is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the discussion of disadvantages in the second paragraph.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, it could be further strengthened by explicitly stating the advantages before discussing the disadvantages. This would help to create a more balanced view before concluding with the author’s stance, reinforcing the argument more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-structured ideas, particularly in discussing the reasons for delaying parenthood and the associated advantages and disadvantages. For instance, the mention of emotional and financial preparedness as an advantage is a strong point. However, some ideas, particularly the disadvantages, could use more elaboration to fully support the claims made. For example, while the essay mentions risks of complications, it could delve deeper into how these complications affect family dynamics or long-term outcomes for children.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could incorporate more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures could enhance the sophistication of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely on topic, focusing on the reasons for delaying parenthood and the associated pros and cons. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the author successfully maintains relevance throughout the essay. The structure is clear, with distinct sections for reasons, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
- How to improve: To ensure even greater focus, the author should avoid vague phrases such as "should take into consideration" and instead directly state the implications of the disadvantages discussed. This would enhance clarity and reinforce the main argument without introducing ambiguity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the author’s viewpoint. With some enhancements in examples, elaboration, and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured logically, presenting a clear progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating the trend of delayed parenthood and hinting at the subsequent examination of its reasons and implications. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, with the first focusing on reasons for delaying parenthood and the second discussing the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, the transition from discussing reasons to the impacts is smooth, maintaining a coherent flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea. This would help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between paragraphs could further clarify the relationship between ideas, such as using phrases like "Furthermore" or "In contrast" to highlight shifts in focus.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose. The first paragraph introduces the topic and outlines the reasons for delayed parenthood, while the second paragraph contrasts the advantages and disadvantages. However, the second paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs to better delineate the advantages from the disadvantages, allowing for a more focused discussion on each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider creating a separate paragraph for the advantages of delayed parenthood and another for the disadvantages. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and enhance readability. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, followed by supporting details.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting ideas. Additionally, phrases like "for example" and "thanks to" help to clarify and support the arguments presented. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied connectors and linking phrases, which would enhance the overall fluidity of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "One of the main advantages," you could use alternatives like "A significant benefit" or "An important advantage." Additionally, consider using more complex cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "Consequently," or "In light of this," to create more sophisticated connections between ideas. This will not only improve cohesion but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "financial stability," "reproductive technology," and "fertility treatments" being used appropriately. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "delaying parenthood" is repeated, which could be substituted with synonyms such as "postponing parenthood" or "deferring childbearing" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms during the drafting process. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary-building apps can help in identifying alternative expressions. Additionally, incorporating idiomatic phrases or collocations related to family and career could enrich the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "could be ascribed by various reasons" should be "could be ascribed to various reasons." This indicates a misunderstanding of the correct preposition to use with "ascribed." Furthermore, the phrase "should take into consideration" is awkward; a more precise expression would be "should be taken into consideration."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on understanding the common collocations and prepositional phrases associated with key terms. Regular practice with grammar exercises that emphasize prepositions and collocations can help in this area. Additionally, proofreading for awkward phrases and seeking feedback from peers or teachers can aid in identifying and correcting imprecise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant spelling errors that detract from the overall clarity of the writing. Words like "competitive," "emotional," and "complications" are spelled correctly, showcasing the writer’s attention to detail in this aspect.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards or spelling quizzes. Reading extensively can also enhance spelling skills, as it allows the writer to see words used in context. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools during the writing process can help catch any overlooked errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling. By actively expanding vocabulary, focusing on precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For instance, the use of phrases like "One driving force behind this phenomenon is the priority of career and financial stability over starting a family" showcases an effective use of a complex structure. Additionally, the sentence "Thanks to advances in medical technology, such as fertility treatments and egg freezing, individuals can afford to delay parenthood" employs a participial phrase effectively. However, some sentences are overly simplistic or repetitive, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which could be varied to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," try alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, using more relative clauses or conditional sentences can add complexity. For instance, you could expand on ideas by saying, "If individuals prioritize their careers, they may find themselves facing challenges later in life."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "could be ascribed by various reasons" should be corrected to "could be ascribed to various reasons." Additionally, the sentence "while having children later in life have both positive and negative impacts" contains a subject-verb agreement error; it should read "while having children later in life has both positive and negative impacts." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "including" in the list of complications.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Review sentences for common errors, and consider practicing with exercises that target these areas. For punctuation, ensure that lists are clearly separated with commas and that clauses are correctly punctuated to avoid run-on sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where pauses (commas) are needed for clarity.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, enhancing both clarity and sophistication in expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

These days, there has been a growth in the number of people deciding to have children later in their lives. While this trend can be attributed to various reasons, the disadvantages of having children later in life are more significant and warrant consideration.

On the one hand, there are several reasons for delaying parenthood. A significant factor contributing to this trend is the priority of career and financial stability over starting a family. This is mainly because the competitive job market and escalating living costs often make it challenging for young adults to balance work and family life. Another contributing factor can be the development in reproductive technology. Owing to advancements in medical technology, such as fertility treatments and egg freezing, individuals can afford to postpone parenthood without significantly compromising their chances of having children later in life. For example, women may choose to freeze their eggs in their early 30s, allowing them to focus on their careers with the option to have children when they feel ready.

On the other hand, I contend that while having children later in life has both positive and negative impacts, the disadvantages of this trend are significantly more pronounced, which should be considered. One of the main advantages is that children can mature in a more emotionally and financially prepared environment. This provides youngsters with a better quality of life, as older parents are often more emotionally mature and financially stable, which can result in a more nurturing and secure environment for raising children. However, delaying childbirth can increase the risk of complications for both the mother and the child, including a higher likelihood of infertility, pregnancy complications, and genetic disorders. Additionally, older parents may possess less physical stamina to keep up with the demands of raising young children and may face concerns about longevity, potentially impacting their ability to be actively involved in their children’s lives as they grow older. For instance, parents in their 40s or 50s may find it challenging to engage in physically demanding activities with their offspring.

In conclusion, I would like to reaffirm that despite the reasons and benefits supporting delaying parenthood, it is generally more disadvantageous to give birth at an older age.