Nowadays, more and more people want to get things done instantly( service, information, tasks). Why is it? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people are of the opinion that the number of people who opt for things done instantly such as service, information and tasks, are increasing significantly these days. From my perspective, there are major reasons that explain this phenomenon, and it is a negative development.
There are some reasons why people nowadays prefer immediate things. Thanks to the enhancement of industrialization and economy, individuals now can receive great service from everywhere. Thus, companies and organizations have more opportunities to improve the experiment of customers and their profit. Added to this is that, due to the proliferation of information and technology, users can search anything they need immediately. For example, just by a click on the Chat GPT, we can require it to do many tasks or find information.
This trend brings in its wake many problems. This is predicted on the assumption that choosing instant things cause a negative impact on the consumers’ behavior. Although things done instantly help people to save time, make decisions easier, it makes people depend on it in the long-term. For example, learners can find it simple to use chat GPT to finish their assignment instead of completing it by themselves. Additionally, without any knowledge, people can be cheated by crime, leading to bad consequences such as fake news, loss of money,…
In conclusion, there are many reasons attributed to the increasing choices for things done instantly by satisfact the customers and giving better choices for them. However, over-depending on them leads to negative result.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"opt for things done instantly" -> "opt for instant services"
Explanation: The phrase "things done instantly" is awkward and unclear. "Instant services" is more direct and precise, aligning better with formal academic language.
"are increasing significantly these days" -> "have significantly increased in recent years"
Explanation: "Increasing significantly these days" is informal and vague. "Have significantly increased in recent years" provides a clearer temporal context and a more formal tone.
"major reasons that explain this phenomenon" -> "significant factors contributing to this phenomenon"
Explanation: "Major reasons" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Significant factors contributing to" is more specific and academically appropriate.
"Thanks to the enhancement of industrialization and economy" -> "owing to advancements in industrialization and economic development"
Explanation: "Thanks to" is too informal for academic writing. "Owing to" is more formal, and "advancements in industrialization and economic development" is a more precise and formal phrase.
"improve the experiment of customers and their profit" -> "enhance customer satisfaction and profitability"
Explanation: "Improve the experiment of customers and their profit" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Enhance customer satisfaction and profitability" is grammatically correct and more precise.
"Added to this is that, due to the proliferation of information and technology," -> "Furthermore, the proliferation of information and technology"
Explanation: "Added to this is that" is redundant and informal. "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase that streamlines the sentence.
"just by a click on the Chat GPT" -> "simply by clicking on ChatGPT"
Explanation: "Just by a click" is informal and imprecise. "Simply by clicking" is more formal and corrects the grammatical error.
"require it to do many tasks or find information" -> "request it to perform various tasks or retrieve information"
Explanation: "Require it to do" is informal and vague. "Request it to perform" and "retrieve" are more precise and formal.
"choosing instant things cause a negative impact" -> "choosing instant services has a negative impact"
Explanation: "Choosing instant things" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Choosing instant services" is grammatically correct and more specific.
"make decisions easier" -> "facilitate decision-making"
Explanation: "Make decisions easier" is informal and vague. "Facilitate decision-making" is more formal and precise.
"it makes people depend on it in the long-term" -> "it leads to long-term dependence"
Explanation: "It makes people depend on it" is informal and verbose. "It leads to long-term dependence" is concise and maintains a formal tone.
"learners can find it simple to use chat GPT" -> "learners may find it convenient to use ChatGPT"
Explanation: "Find it simple" is informal and imprecise. "May find it convenient" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"without any knowledge, people can be cheated" -> "without proper knowledge, individuals may be deceived"
Explanation: "Without any knowledge" is too simplistic and informal. "Without proper knowledge" is more precise, and "may be deceived" is a more formal expression than "can be cheated."
"leading to bad consequences such as fake news, loss of money," -> "resulting in adverse consequences such as the dissemination of false information and financial losses"
Explanation: "Bad consequences" is informal and vague. "Adverse consequences" is more precise and formal, and the specific examples are also more formal and detailed.
"over-depending on them leads to negative result" -> "over-reliance on them yields negative outcomes"
Explanation: "Over-depending on them leads to negative result" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Over-reliance on them yields negative outcomes" corrects the grammar and uses more formal vocabulary.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it explains why people prefer instant services and provides a stance on whether this trend is positive or negative. The reasons given, such as advancements in technology and industrialization, are relevant and support the first part of the question. However, the explanation could be more detailed, particularly in discussing the implications of this trend. The conclusion mentions "many reasons attributed to the increasing choices," but it does not summarize or clearly articulate these reasons, which weakens the overall response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly outline the reasons for the trend in a more structured manner, perhaps by listing them clearly in the introduction or body paragraphs. Additionally, providing more specific examples or statistics could strengthen the argument and make the reasoning more compelling.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the trend of seeking instant services is negative. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the second paragraph where the negative consequences are discussed. However, the transition between the positive aspects of instant services and the negative implications could be smoother, as the essay sometimes feels disjointed in its argumentation.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should use transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For instance, after discussing the benefits of instant services, a clear transition to the negative consequences could help maintain the flow of the argument. Additionally, reiterating the position in the conclusion with a stronger emphasis on the negative aspects could reinforce the stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the convenience of instant services and the potential for negative consequences like dependency and misinformation. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the mention of ChatGPT is relevant, the discussion lacks depth and could benefit from further elaboration on how this dependency manifests in real-life scenarios.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing more detailed examples, such as specific instances of how instant services have led to negative outcomes in society. Additionally, incorporating counterarguments and addressing them could strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the preference for instant services and the implications of this trend. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as the mention of "fake news" and "loss of money," which could be better integrated into the overall argument. The phrase "leading to bad consequences" is vague and does not clearly connect back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central argument. Clarifying how each example ties into the negative consequences of instant services would help keep the essay cohesive. Additionally, avoiding vague language and being more specific about the consequences would enhance clarity and relevance.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents a clear position, it can be improved by providing more detailed explanations, smoother transitions, and stronger support for the ideas presented.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and the writer’s perspective. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the reasons for the trend towards instant gratification and then to address the negative implications of this trend. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the reasons and the negative consequences could be more explicit to help the reader follow the argument more smoothly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "As a result" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with distinct sections for the introduction, reasons for the trend, and the negative consequences. Each paragraph contains relevant information, but some paragraphs could be more focused. For example, the second paragraph mixes reasons for the trend with examples, which could be separated for clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for a more focused approach within each paragraph. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea supported by examples. Consider breaking the second paragraph into two: one focusing on reasons and the other providing examples. This would enhance clarity and allow for a deeper exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "thanks to," "added to this," and "for example." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be stronger. For instance, the phrase "this trend brings in its wake many problems" is somewhat vague and could benefit from a more direct connection to the preceding ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Moreover" to add information, "Conversely" to introduce contrasting ideas, or "Consequently" to indicate results. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device clearly connects the ideas in a logical manner, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph focus, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "industrialization," "proliferation," "immediate," and "consequences." However, the use of phrases such as "things done instantly" is vague and repetitive, which detracts from the overall lexical variety. The phrase "great service from everywhere" lacks specificity and could be enhanced with more precise vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "things done instantly," alternatives like "immediate services" or "instantaneous solutions" could be used. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs can add depth to the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the experiment of customers" seems to be a miscommunication of the intended meaning, likely referring to "experience." Additionally, "the assumption that choosing instant things cause a negative impact" should use "causes" to agree with the singular subject "choosing."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should carefully consider word choice and ensure that terms accurately convey the intended meaning. A good practice is to use a thesaurus to find synonyms but also to check their definitions to ensure they fit the context. Proofreading for grammatical agreement and clarity will also enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "satisfact" instead of "satisfy," and "bad consequences such as fake news, loss of money,…" where the ellipsis is incorrectly used and the list is incomplete. These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps using flashcards or spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or using spell-check tools can help catch errors before submission. Reading more extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary suitable for the IELTS Task 2, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource significantly.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Thanks to the enhancement of industrialization and economy, individuals now can receive great service from everywhere" shows an attempt to convey more nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and redundancy, such as "the number of people who opt for things done instantly" which could be more concisely expressed. The essay also relies heavily on certain structures, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "there are," the writer could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses to add variety. Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences or using inversion in some cases could enhance the complexity and interest of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a fair level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "the proliferation of information and technology, users can search anything they need immediately" lacks a coordinating conjunction or a semicolon to connect the two independent clauses properly. Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of commas before conjunctions, can lead to run-on sentences. The phrase "leading to bad consequences such as fake news, loss of money,…" is also improperly punctuated, as it should not end with an ellipsis.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on sentence boundaries and the correct use of conjunctions. Practicing the rules of comma usage, especially in complex sentences, can help clarify meaning. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is complete and correctly structured will improve overall clarity. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as run-on sentences and comma splices, could also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the writing to a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people are of the opinion that the number of individuals who opt for things done instantly, such as services, information, and tasks, is increasing significantly these days. From my perspective, there are major reasons that explain this phenomenon, and it is a negative development.

There are several reasons why people nowadays prefer immediate results. Owing to advancements in industrialization and economic development, individuals can now receive excellent services from everywhere. Thus, companies and organizations have more opportunities to enhance customer satisfaction and profitability. Furthermore, the proliferation of information and technology allows users to search for anything they need immediately. For example, simply by clicking on ChatGPT, we can request it to perform various tasks or retrieve information.

This trend brings with it many problems. This is based on the assumption that choosing instant services has a negative impact on consumers’ behavior. Although instant services help people save time and facilitate decision-making, they lead to long-term dependence. For example, learners may find it convenient to use ChatGPT to finish their assignments instead of completing them by themselves. Additionally, without proper knowledge, individuals may be deceived by scams, resulting in adverse consequences such as the dissemination of false information and financial losses.

In conclusion, there are many reasons attributed to the increasing preference for instant services to satisfy customers and provide better options for them. However, over-reliance on them yields negative outcomes.