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Nowadays people around the world are choosing to self-medicate rather than seeing a doctor and using conventional medicine. What are the causes of this change and what effects can be seen as a result?

Nowadays people around the world are choosing to self-medicate rather than seeing a doctor and using conventional medicine. What are the causes of this change and what effects can be seen as a result?

In recent years, more individuals are opting for self-medication over consulting doctors and using conventional medicine. This shift is driven by several factors and has significant effects. This essay will discuss the causes and the potential consequences of this trend.

One of the primary reasons for self-medication is the widespread availability of medical information online. Many people turn to websites or apps to diagnose themselves and find treatments. For instance, an individual with persistent headaches might search for remedies online and conclude they have a minor issue like tension headaches, when in fact, it could be a symptom of a more serious condition like a brain tumor. This reliance on unverified information can lead to misdiagnosis and improper treatment. Additionally, the high costs of medical consultations in many countries push individuals to seek cheaper alternatives, such as over-the-counter medications. As a result, people delay seeking professional help, worsening their conditions in the long run.

Another factor is the growing trust in alternative medicines, such as herbal remedies and acupuncture, which are often seen as safer than pharmaceutical drugs. For example, some cancer patients may opt for herbal treatments instead of chemotherapy, believing these natural options will be less harmful. However, the lack of scientific backing for many alternative therapies can put patients at risk, as serious conditions may go untreated or worsen.

The consequences of self-medication are concerning. First, improper use of medication can lead to serious health risks. Overusing painkillers, for example, can result in liver damage or addiction. Second, delays in receiving professional medical care can make treatable conditions more severe, as was the case with Steve Jobs, who initially turned to alternative treatments for cancer, leading to a delayed start in conventional treatment.

In conclusion, while self-medication may seem convenient and cost-effective, it carries significant risks. Misdiagnosis, improper treatment, and delays in seeking professional care can lead to serious health consequences. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals to prioritize professional medical advice.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "opting for self-medication" -> "choosing self-medication"
    Explanation: "Opting" can be seen as slightly informal and less precise in this context. "Choosing" is more direct and formal, fitting better in an academic essay.

  2. "driven by several factors" -> "motivated by several factors"
    Explanation: "Driven" can imply a more mechanical or external influence, whereas "motivated" suggests a more intentional and internal reason, which is more appropriate for describing human actions.

  3. "significant effects" -> "substantial effects"
    Explanation: "Significant" can be vague and overused; "substantial" provides a clearer and more precise degree of impact.

  4. "Many people turn to websites or apps" -> "Numerous individuals resort to online platforms"
    Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal than "many," and "resort to" is a more precise verb choice than "turn to" in this context, which implies a more deliberate action.

  5. "conclude they have a minor issue" -> "diagnose themselves with a minor condition"
    Explanation: "Conclude" is less formal and less specific than "diagnose," which is the correct term for the action of identifying a medical condition.

  6. "could be a symptom of a more serious condition" -> "may indicate a more serious condition"
    Explanation: "Could be" is somewhat informal and vague; "may indicate" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

  7. "high costs of medical consultations" -> "high costs associated with medical consultations"
    Explanation: Adding "associated with" clarifies the relationship between the costs and the consultations, enhancing the formal tone.

  8. "push individuals to seek cheaper alternatives" -> "compel individuals to opt for cheaper alternatives"
    Explanation: "Push" is somewhat informal and vague; "compel" is more formal and precise, and "opt for" is more appropriate in this context.

  9. "worsening their conditions" -> "aggravating their conditions"
    Explanation: "Worsening" is correct but can be seen as slightly informal; "aggravating" is a more precise term in medical contexts.

  10. "serious health risks" -> "serious health hazards"
    Explanation: "Hazards" is a more specific term in medical contexts, emphasizing the potential dangers more clearly.

  11. "Overusing painkillers" -> "Excessive use of painkillers"
    Explanation: "Overusing" is informal and somewhat vague; "Excessive use" is more precise and formal.

  12. "can result in liver damage or addiction" -> "may lead to liver damage or addiction"
    Explanation: "Can" is less formal than "may," which is more appropriate for expressing possibility in academic writing.

  13. "delays in seeking professional care" -> "delays in seeking professional medical care"
    Explanation: Adding "medical" clarifies the type of care being referred to, enhancing specificity and formality.

  14. "it carries significant risks" -> "it poses significant risks"
    Explanation: "Carries" is less formal and less precise; "poses" is more direct and formal, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of self-medication—such as the availability of online medical information and the rising costs of consultations—and the effects, including health risks and delays in proper treatment. Each cause is supported with relevant examples, such as the case of individuals misdiagnosing themselves due to online information and the risks associated with alternative therapies.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the causes and effects. For instance, after discussing a cause, the author could immediately follow with a direct consequence of that cause to reinforce the relationship. Additionally, including a broader range of causes and effects could provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against self-medication, emphasizing the risks involved. This stance is consistent throughout the essay, as the author reiterates the dangers of misdiagnosis and the consequences of delaying professional care. The concluding statement effectively summarizes this position.
    • How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could strengthen its argument by acknowledging potential benefits of self-medication, such as accessibility and cost-effectiveness, before countering these points with the associated risks. This would create a more nuanced discussion and further solidify the author’s stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are well-presented and supported with specific examples, such as the mention of individuals misdiagnosing themselves and the case of Steve Jobs. The use of concrete examples helps to illustrate the potential dangers of self-medication effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve the extension of ideas, the author could delve deeper into the implications of self-medication on public health or societal norms surrounding healthcare. Adding statistics or studies related to self-medication trends could also provide a stronger foundation for the arguments presented.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of self-medication, with all paragraphs contributing to the discussion of causes and effects. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the structure is logical and coherent.
    • How to improve: To ensure continued relevance, the author should be cautious of introducing overly broad statements that might stray from the main focus. For instance, while discussing alternative medicines, the essay should remain anchored to how these relate specifically to self-medication rather than veering into general critiques of alternative medicine.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the risks associated with self-medication. With slight adjustments in the depth of analysis and acknowledgment of counterarguments, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by outlining the topic and the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph follows a coherent structure, beginning with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the causes of self-medication, while the second addresses its consequences, maintaining a clear distinction between the two aspects. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points, reinforcing the essay’s overall argument.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "In addition to the reasons mentioned, the consequences of self-medication are equally significant" could help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids in clarity and readability. Each paragraph is focused on a single aspect of the topic, which is essential for maintaining coherence. The first paragraph addresses causes, the second discusses effects, and the conclusion ties everything together. This structure allows the reader to follow the argument without confusion.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is strong, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a balance of evidence and analysis. For instance, in the second body paragraph, while the example of cancer patients using herbal remedies is compelling, adding a brief analysis of why this trend is concerning could deepen the reader’s understanding of the implications.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as "for instance," "additionally," and "however," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. This variety enhances the flow of the essay and aids in the reader’s comprehension. The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Steve Jobs, serves as a strong cohesive element that ties the argument back to real-world implications.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for instance," you could use "for example" or "such as" to introduce examples. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging and fluid reading experience.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of coherence and cohesion, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining clarity and logical organization. With minor adjustments in transitions, paragraph balance, and cohesive device variety, it could reach an even higher level of sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of self-medication. Words and phrases such as "self-medication," "widespread availability," "misdiagnosis," and "alternative medicines" are effectively employed. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "high costs of medical consultations" could be enhanced by using synonyms or related terms like "exorbitant fees" or "financial burdens."
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating more synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For example, instead of repeating "self-medication," you could use "self-treatment" or "self-prescribing" in different sections. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs can add depth to your arguments.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are some instances where precision could be improved. For example, the term "natural options" when referring to herbal treatments could be misleading, as it suggests that all natural remedies are safe, which is not always the case. The phrase "serious conditions may go untreated" could also be more precise by specifying what types of conditions are being referred to.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the intended meaning. For instance, clarify the risks associated with "natural options" by stating that not all herbal treatments are safe or effective. Additionally, when discussing conditions, specify examples (e.g., "chronic illnesses" or "acute conditions") to provide clarity and depth.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "consulting," "remedies," "diagnosis," and "consequences" are spelled correctly throughout the text, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
    • How to improve: While spelling is accurate, it is beneficial to continue practicing spelling through regular reading and writing exercises. Consider using tools like spell checkers or apps that focus on vocabulary building and spelling to maintain and enhance this skill. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words in English can help ensure continued accuracy.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for Lexical Resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By diversifying word choice and ensuring that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing. Maintaining high spelling accuracy will further solidify the strength of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, it effectively employs complex sentences, such as "This reliance on unverified information can lead to misdiagnosis and improper treatment," which showcases the writer’s ability to connect ideas and convey nuanced meanings. Additionally, the use of conditional structures in "if… could be a symptom of a more serious condition" adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced for greater sophistication.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences. For instance, instead of stating "Many people turn to websites or apps to diagnose themselves," you could expand this with additional clauses, such as, "Many people, often overwhelmed by the plethora of medical information available online, turn to websites or apps to diagnose themselves." This not only adds complexity but also enriches the content.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "when in fact, it could be a symptom of a more serious condition" correctly uses commas to separate clauses, enhancing clarity. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas, as seen in "the lack of scientific backing for many alternative therapies can put patients at risk, as serious conditions may go untreated or worsen," where a comma before "as" could be debated for clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring consistent punctuation usage throughout the essay. Review rules regarding comma placement, especially in complex sentences. Additionally, consider varying the use of punctuation marks, such as semicolons or dashes, to create more sophisticated sentence structures and improve flow. For example, "The consequences of self-medication are concerning; improper use of medication can lead to serious health risks." This not only enhances clarity but also demonstrates a higher level of grammatical proficiency.

In summary, the essay effectively utilizes a wide range of structures and maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. By further diversifying sentence constructions and refining punctuation usage, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher standard.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, more individuals are choosing self-medication over consulting doctors and using conventional medicine. This shift is motivated by several factors and has substantial effects. This essay will discuss the causes and the potential consequences of this trend.

One of the primary reasons for self-medication is the widespread availability of medical information online. Numerous individuals resort to online platforms to diagnose themselves and find treatments. For instance, an individual with persistent headaches might search for remedies online and conclude they have a minor issue like tension headaches, when in fact, it could indicate a more serious condition, such as a brain tumor. This reliance on unverified information can lead to misdiagnosis and improper treatment. Additionally, the high costs associated with medical consultations in many countries compel individuals to opt for cheaper alternatives, such as over-the-counter medications. As a result, people may delay seeking professional help, aggravating their conditions in the long run.

Another factor is the growing trust in alternative medicines, such as herbal remedies and acupuncture, which are often perceived as safer than pharmaceutical drugs. For example, some cancer patients may choose herbal treatments instead of chemotherapy, believing these natural options will be less harmful. However, the lack of scientific backing for many alternative therapies can pose serious health hazards, as serious conditions may go untreated or worsen.

The consequences of self-medication are concerning. First, improper use of medication can lead to serious health risks. Excessive use of painkillers, for example, may lead to liver damage or addiction. Second, delays in seeking professional medical care can make treatable conditions more severe, as was the case with Steve Jobs, who initially turned to alternative treatments for cancer, resulting in a delayed start in conventional treatment.

In conclusion, while self-medication may seem convenient and cost-effective, it poses significant risks. Misdiagnosis, improper treatment, and delays in seeking professional care can lead to serious health consequences. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals to prioritize professional medical advice.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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