Nowadays people expect to get things such as news, products and services instantly and do not want to wait. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, life has become increasingly fast-paced in most parts of the world. People are inclined to get things, including news, products and services instantly and cannot wait. This phenomenon is mainly attributed to technological development and I consider it an unwelcome trend.

Unquestionably, technological advancement is a major factor in creating a fast-paced world. Automation has massively reduced the amount of time needed for numerous activities from production, transportation to communication. For instance, it used to take several days or even months to send letters to those living far away but now people can send and receive messages immediately with just a smartphone connected to the Internet. Consequently, people have become accustomed to instant things such as fast-food, fast fashion and latest news, and they expect everything else to be done or delivered at the same speed. Additionally, technology has made life much more diverse and complex with a plethora of options. People now tend to follow a hectic lifestyle simply because there are so many activities to fit in a day from work and study to recreation and entertainment. With a packed schedule, they have no choice but to rush things and avoid waiting.

Admittedly, the inclination towards a fast-paced life might make certain individuals or businesses, especially technology companies, become more innovative. However, I believe in the long run, this tendency has many detrimental effects on the majority of people. Firstly, it gives rise to the addiction to instant gratification and reduced concentration. Since people are unwilling to wait, they tend to indulge themselves in short-term enjoyable activities rather than sticking to a long-term plan. For instance, young people often get distracted by social media and spend hours browsing the latest content on these platforms rather than study. This might hinder their productivity as well as their personal development. Secondly, the obsession with speed may lead to chronic stress. People constantly worry that they are not fast enough and constantly push themselves. This restless lifestyle is deemed a major culprit of serious mental conditions such as anxiety disorder and depression. Finally, the accelerated pace of life in modern society might take a huge toll on the environment. The faster new products are created, the sooner the old ones are thrown away, placing a huge burden on the earth. The fast fashion industry, for instance, is generating nearly a hundred million tonnes of discarded garments every year, not to mention its production waste.

In conclusion, technological advancement has made people become obsessed with fastness and they want to get new things instantly, which I believe is an undesirable trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"get things" -> "acquire goods and services"
Explanation: "Get things" is a colloquial expression that lacks precision and formality. "Acquire goods and services" provides a more formal and specific description of the action.
"cannot wait" -> "are unwilling to wait"
Explanation: "Cannot wait" is an informal expression. "Are unwilling to wait" maintains formality and clarity, better suited for academic writing.
"Unquestionably" -> "Undoubtedly"
Explanation: "Unquestionably" is less common in academic writing compared to "Undoubtedly," which is more appropriate for expressing certainty.
"a plethora of options" -> "a multitude of options"
Explanation: While "plethora" is not necessarily incorrect, "multitude" is a more formal synonym that aligns better with academic style.
"tend to follow a hectic lifestyle" -> "are prone to adopting a hectic lifestyle"
Explanation: "Tend to follow" is somewhat informal. "Are prone to adopting" maintains formality and precision.
"With a packed schedule" -> "Due to busy schedules"
Explanation: "With a packed schedule" is a bit informal. "Due to busy schedules" is a more formal alternative, suitable for academic writing.
"Admittedly" -> "However"
Explanation: "Admittedly" is slightly informal. "However" serves the same transitional function in a more formal manner.
"might make certain individuals or businesses" -> "may incentivize certain individuals or businesses"
Explanation: "Might make" is somewhat speculative and informal. "May incentivize" maintains formality and clarity.
"addiction to instant gratification" -> "dependency on instant gratification"
Explanation: "Addiction" is a strong term and might not be entirely suitable here. "Dependency" is a more neutral and formal alternative.
"reduced concentration" -> "diminished attention span"
Explanation: "Reduced concentration" is a bit vague. "Diminished attention span" is a more precise and formal term.
"This restless lifestyle is deemed a major culprit" -> "This lifestyle is considered a significant contributing factor"
Explanation: "Restless lifestyle" is somewhat informal. "Contributing factor" is a more formal and precise term.
"the accelerated pace of life" -> "the rapid pace of life"
Explanation: "Accelerated" is a bit informal. "Rapid" is a more formal synonym that fits academic writing better.
"take a huge toll" -> "have a significant impact"
Explanation: "Take a huge toll" is slightly informal. "Have a significant impact" maintains formality and clarity.
"which I believe is an undesirable trend" -> "which I consider to be an undesirable trend"
Explanation: "I believe" is somewhat casual. "I consider" is a more formal expression for presenting personal opinion in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question prompt. It discusses the reasons why people expect instant access to news, products, and services, attributing it to technological advancements and the resulting societal changes. Additionally, it evaluates whether this trend is positive or negative, concluding that it is negative.
- How to improve: The essay could further enhance its response by providing more nuanced analysis of the positive aspects of instant access culture, even if ultimately arguing against it. This could involve exploring potential benefits such as efficiency gains and increased connectivity before refuting them.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, asserting that the trend towards instant gratification is negative. This position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the essay could reinforce its position by explicitly stating the stance in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. This would leave no room for ambiguity about the author’s viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports its ideas with relevant examples and reasoning. It discusses the role of technology in facilitating instant access culture, elaborates on the societal impacts of this trend, and supports its arguments with examples such as the rise of fast fashion and its environmental consequences.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay, it could incorporate additional examples or data to bolster its arguments. Providing statistics or real-world case studies could add depth to the analysis and enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the reasons behind the desire for instant access to news, products, and services, as well as evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative.
- How to improve: To ensure continued relevance to the topic, the essay could periodically remind the reader of the central theme and how each point contributes to the overall argument. This would help to reinforce the coherence and cohesion of the essay’s structure.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument against the trend towards instant gratification, there is room for further refinement in terms of providing a more balanced analysis of opposing viewpoints and reinforcing the clarity of the author’s position. Additionally, enriching the essay with additional examples or data could enhance the depth and persuasiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea, such as the impact of technological advancement on the pace of life, addiction to instant gratification, and environmental consequences. The ideas are logically connected, providing a cohesive argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, such as the impact of technology on communication and lifestyle choices. The paragraphs are of appropriate length and help maintain the coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea and provides sufficient supporting details. Consider revising some longer paragraphs to improve readability and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create coherence. These include pronouns (e.g., "it," "they"), conjunctions (e.g., "however," "consequently"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "in conclusion," "for instance"). These devices help to guide the reader through the essay and strengthen the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more diverse vocabulary and sentence structures. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear structure and logical organization of ideas. To improve further, focus on refining transitions between paragraphs and enhancing the variety of cohesive devices used.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing both general and topic-specific terms. For instance, phrases like "fast-paced," "unwelcome trend," "automation," "instant gratification," "chronic stress," and "accelerated pace" contribute to the richness of expression and depth of analysis.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively employs a diverse vocabulary, further enhancement could be achieved by incorporating more nuanced synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. This could elevate the sophistication of the language and provide a broader spectrum of lexical choices. For instance, instead of solely relying on "fast-paced," consider alternatives like "rapid" or "hurried" to add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage in the essay is generally precise, with terms employed accurately to convey the intended meanings. For example, phrases such as "automation," "addiction to instant gratification," and "chronic stress" are aptly utilized to articulate complex ideas with clarity.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates precise vocabulary usage overall, there are instances where certain terms could be substituted with more precise alternatives to enhance clarity or specificity. For instance, instead of "become obsessed with fastness," consider using "fixated on immediacy" to convey the idea with greater precision and depth.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay, with few errors detracting from the overall coherence and readability. Noteworthy is the consistent use of standard spelling conventions in conveying ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to employ proofreading techniques such as spell-checking tools and meticulous review of written work before submission. Additionally, expanding exposure to written materials and vocabulary can help internalize correct spellings and minimize errors over time.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of lexical resources, contributing to a cohesive and articulate presentation of ideas. By continuing to refine vocabulary usage, particularly through diversification and precision, the writer can further elevate the linguistic sophistication and impact of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It includes simple, compound, and complex sentences, enhancing readability and engagement. For instance, there is effective use of complex sentences to articulate ideas, such as "Unquestionably, technological advancement is a major factor in creating a fast-paced world." Additionally, the essay employs parallel structures, as seen in "from production, transportation to communication," which adds coherence and clarity to the argument.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a solid range of structures, incorporating more advanced syntactic constructions, such as conditional sentences or inversion, could further enrich the language. For instance, integrating conditional sentences could add depth to the analysis of consequences, enhancing the complexity of the argument. Moreover, varying the length and rhythm of sentences could create a more dynamic and engaging prose style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors detracting from comprehension. There are instances of minor grammatical mistakes, such as "it gives rise to the addiction to instant gratification," where a more precise article usage ("an addiction") would be grammatically optimal. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, as in "This restless lifestyle is deemed a major culprit of serious mental conditions such as anxiety disorder and depression."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, revising sentences for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial. Encouraging a thorough proofreading process to catch punctuation errors, particularly in compound and complex sentences, would further refine the essay’s clarity and precision. Additionally, consulting grammar guides or seeking feedback on specific grammar points can aid in addressing recurring errors and refining writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, life has become increasingly fast-paced in most parts of the world. People are inclined to acquire goods and services, including news, products, and services, instantly and cannot wait. Undoubtedly, this phenomenon is mainly attributed to technological development, which I consider to be an undesirable trend.

Technological advancement is a major factor in creating a fast-paced world. Automation has massively reduced the amount of time needed for numerous activities, from production and transportation to communication. For instance, it used to take several days or even months to send letters to those living far away, but now people can send and receive messages immediately with just a smartphone connected to the Internet. Consequently, people have become accustomed to a multitude of options for instant things, such as fast-food, fast fashion, and the latest news, and they expect everything else to be done or delivered at the same speed. Additionally, technology has made life much more diverse and complex, and people are prone to adopting a hectic lifestyle simply because there are so many activities to fit in a day, from work and study to recreation and entertainment. Due to busy schedules, they have no choice but to rush things and avoid waiting.

However, the inclination towards a fast-paced life might incentivize certain individuals or businesses, especially technology companies, to become more innovative. However, in the long run, this tendency has many detrimental effects on the majority of people. Firstly, it fosters dependency on instant gratification and a diminished attention span. Since people are unwilling to wait, they tend to indulge themselves in short-term enjoyable activities rather than sticking to a long-term plan. For instance, young people often get distracted by social media and spend hours browsing the latest content on these platforms rather than studying. This might hinder their productivity as well as their personal development. Secondly, the obsession with speed may lead to chronic stress. People constantly worry that they are not fast enough and constantly push themselves. This restless lifestyle is considered a significant contributing factor to serious mental conditions such as anxiety disorder and depression. Finally, the rapid pace of life in modern society may have a significant impact on the environment. The faster new products are created, the sooner the old ones are thrown away, placing a huge burden on the earth. The fast fashion industry, for instance, is generating nearly a hundred million tonnes of discarded garments every year, not to mention its production waste.

In conclusion, technological advancement has made people become obsessed with fastness, and they want to acquire new things instantly, which I believe is an undesirable trend.