Nowadays, people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

The popularity of bicycles as a means of transport has declined in recent years. This stems from the growth of sedentary lifestyles and electric vehicles. However, it might be tackled through measures implemented by governments and companies

To begin with, the fact that fewer people cycle these days can be attributed to two reasons. The most compelling one is the rise of passive way of living. As a result, individuals may prefer using less physically demanding modes of transportation, such as taxis or buses, over bicycles. This has led to the number of people using bicycles to travel decreasing significantly. Additionally, electric vehicles make those who were previously cyclists due to environmental reasons change their mind. Companies such Tesla and Vinfast have convincingly promoted environmentally friendly features of their motorbikes and cars. This not only facilitates users with a greater variety of choices, but also meets their demands of protecting the environment.

However, a joint effort by the governments and businesses might buck the trend. For the governments, they can launch nation-wide campaigns to raise citizens' awareness of the benefits of cycling, which includes building up muscle and resistance to diseases, while underscoring the potential consequences of inactivity. When people are aware of the advantages of cycling, they may opt for using bicycles when commuting. For businesses, the solution is to reward those who cycle to work. In reality, some Vietnamese corporations such as VNG have established a small fund to partly financially support bike purchase and offer presents to employees who cycle regularly. This is an effective method to encourage an active lifestyle among their workforce.

In conclusion, the decrease in the number of cyclists can be explained by the increased passive way of living and electric vehicle usage. Nevertheless, this can be addressed effectively by authorities and companies to see the growth in cyclist community in the coming years.

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Errors and Improvements:

"popularity" -> "prevalence"
Explanation: "Prevalence" conveys the idea of how common or widespread something is in a more formal manner, suitable for academic writing.
"declined" -> "diminished"
Explanation: "Diminished" is a more precise and formal term to describe a decrease in the prevalence of bicycles as a means of transport.
"stems from" -> "arises from"
Explanation: "Arises from" is a slightly more formal phrase than "stems from" and fits better in academic contexts.
"However, it might be tackled" -> "However, this issue may be addressed"
Explanation: "Tackled" is a bit informal; "addressed" is a more appropriate term for academic writing.
"To begin with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Firstly" is a more concise and formal transition to introduce the first point in an academic essay.
"compelling" -> "significant"
Explanation: "Significant" is a stronger and more formal adjective to describe the reason for the decline in cycling.
"rise of passive way of living" -> "increase in sedentary lifestyles"
Explanation: "Increase in sedentary lifestyles" is a more precise and formal way to describe the phenomenon.
"less physically demanding modes of transportation" -> "modes of transportation requiring less physical exertion"
Explanation: This phrasing is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "physically demanding."
"This has led to the number of people using bicycles to travel decreasing significantly." -> "Consequently, there has been a significant decrease in the number of people using bicycles for transportation."
Explanation: This revision maintains clarity while presenting the information in a more formal structure.
"Additionally" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Moreover" is a more formal transition to introduce an additional point.
"make those who were previously cyclists" -> "cause former cyclists"
Explanation: "Make" is too informal here; "cause" is a more appropriate term in academic writing.
"such Tesla and Vinfast" -> "such as Tesla and Vinfast"
Explanation: Adding "as" after "such" corrects the grammatical structure.
"convinvingly" -> "convincingly"
Explanation: Correcting the typo.
"facilitates users with a greater variety of choices" -> "provides users with a wider range of options"
Explanation: This phrasing is more formal and clearer.
"a joint effort" -> "a collaborative effort"
Explanation: "Collaborative effort" is a more formal term for cooperation between governments and businesses.
"might buck the trend" -> "could reverse the trend"
Explanation: "Buck" is a bit informal; "reverse" is a more formal and appropriate term.
"nation-wide campaigns" -> "nationwide campaigns"
Explanation: Correcting the hyphenation.
"raising citizens’ awareness" -> "raising public awareness"
Explanation: "Public awareness" is a more formal term.
"building up muscle" -> "increasing muscle mass"
Explanation: This phrasing is more precise and formal.
"opt for using bicycles when commuting" -> "choose bicycles for commuting"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrasing while maintaining formality.
"reward those who cycle to work" -> "incentivize commuting by bicycle"
Explanation: "Incentivize" is a more formal term for providing rewards or encouragement.
"small fund" -> "modest fund"
Explanation: "Modest" is a more sophisticated term than "small."
"partly financially support" -> "partially subsidize"
Explanation: "Subsidize" is a more formal term for financial support.
"offer presents" -> "provide incentives"
Explanation: "Provide incentives" is a more formal and precise term for rewards.
"an effective method to encourage" -> "an effective strategy for promoting"
Explanation: "Strategy for promoting" is a more formal and precise phrase.
"decrease in the number of cyclists" -> "decline in cycling participation"
Explanation: "Decline in cycling participation" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea.
"can be explained by" -> "can be attributed to"
Explanation: "Attributed to" is a more formal and precise phrase to indicate causation.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the question. It discusses the reasons why bicycle usage has declined (sedentary lifestyles and the popularity of electric vehicles) and proposes measures to encourage more bicycle usage (nation-wide campaigns by governments and incentives from businesses).
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect further, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the reasons given. Additionally, a deeper exploration of the potential impact of these proposed measures would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that the decline in bicycle usage can be reversed through concerted efforts by governments and businesses.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph reinforces this main stance explicitly and avoids ambiguity or contradictory statements.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents its ideas adequately but could benefit from further development and elaboration. For instance, the discussion on the rise of sedentary lifestyles and electric vehicles could be expanded with more in-depth analysis or examples.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, incorporate specific examples, data, or case studies to lend credibility and depth to the argument. This will strengthen the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but occasionally drifts into broader statements (e.g., "rise of passive way of living"). While these are relevant, ensuring that all discussion directly relates back to the central theme of bicycle usage would enhance coherence.
- How to improve: Maintain focus by consistently linking each point back to the core topic of bicycle usage and its decline.

Overall, this essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a strong argument for the decline in bicycle usage and potential solutions. To enhance its quality further, the essay should deepen its analysis with specific examples and maintain strict coherence with the central theme throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, starting with an introduction that outlines the reasons for the decline in bicycle usage, followed by two body paragraphs discussing the contributing factors and potential solutions. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains logical organization overall, enhancing the transition between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more explicitly would aid in guiding the reader through the flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas and arguments. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and potential solutions to encourage its resurgence. Additionally, each paragraph contains a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraph coherence, ensure that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus on its main idea. Additionally, varying sentence structure and length within paragraphs can enhance readability and engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "To begin with" and "Additionally," which signal shifts between paragraphs and help to maintain the logical flow of ideas. Moreover, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this," "it") and conjunctions ("however," "nevertheless") are utilized effectively to link sentences and reinforce connections between concepts.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates competence in using cohesive devices, incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases can further enhance coherence. Additionally, ensuring consistency in the use of cohesive devices throughout the essay will contribute to a smoother and more cohesive overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "sedentary lifestyles," "passive way of living," "nation-wide campaigns," "environmentally friendly features," and "actively lifestyle." These terms contribute to the clarity and depth of the argument, showing an attempt to use varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, the essay could benefit from the inclusion of more sophisticated vocabulary choices and idiomatic expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "passive way of living," consider alternatives like "sedentary habits" or "inactive lifestyles" to add nuance to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. For example, terms like "electric vehicles" and "environmentally friendly features" are used accurately to describe specific concepts relevant to the topic. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "rise of passive way of living" could be clarified to avoid ambiguity regarding the exact nature of the trend being discussed.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. Consider using more specific terms or providing additional context to ensure clarity. For instance, instead of "passive way of living," specify the behaviors or habits contributing to the decline in bicycle usage, such as "increased reliance on motorized transport" or "sedentary lifestyles."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate spelling throughout, with only minor errors noted. Spelling accuracy contributes to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay. However, there are a few instances where errors occur, such as "nation-wide" (corrected to "nationwide") and "actively lifestyle" (corrected to "active lifestyle").
- How to improve: To maintain consistent spelling accuracy, proofreading carefully and using spell-checking tools can be beneficial. Additionally, paying close attention to common spelling patterns and frequently misspelled words can help avoid errors. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically for spelling mistakes before submission can further enhance accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there is room for improvement in expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy. By incorporating varied vocabulary choices, refining precision, and maintaining diligent proofreading practices, the essay can elevate its lexical resource to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. For instance, phrases like "To begin with," and "Additionally," signal clear transitions between ideas, enhancing the essay’s coherence. Complex structures such as "The most compelling one is…" exhibit an ability to convey complex ideas effectively.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a satisfactory range of structures, further diversity could enhance its sophistication. Introducing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion can add nuance and depth to the arguments presented. For instance, using rhetorical questions or employing varied sentence lengths could engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors detracting from its clarity. Instances such as "This stems from the growth of sedentary lifestyles and electric vehicles" and "Companies such Tesla and Vinfast" exhibit proper grammatical structure.
- How to improve: While the essay generally demonstrates proficiency in grammar and punctuation, minor errors occasionally disrupt the flow. For instance, revising phrases like "Companies such Tesla" to "Companies such as Tesla" would eliminate grammatical inaccuracies. Additionally, attention to punctuation consistency, particularly regarding comma usage within complex sentences, would further refine the essay’s clarity. Regular practice with sentence structure and grammar can help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay effectively utilizes a diverse range of sentence structures to convey its arguments, and it maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. With minor refinements in sentence structure diversity and grammatical precision, the essay could further elevate its coherence and impact.

Bài sửa mẫu

The usage of bicycles for transportation has dwindled in recent years. This decline can be attributed to the prevalence of sedentary lifestyles and the emergence of electric vehicles. However, there are measures that governments and companies can take to reverse this trend.

Primarily, the decline in cycling can be linked to two main factors. Firstly, there is a growing preference for sedentary lifestyles, leading individuals to opt for less physically demanding modes of transportation such as taxis or buses instead of bicycles. Consequently, the number of cyclists has significantly decreased. Additionally, the promotion of environmentally friendly features in electric vehicles by companies like Tesla and Vinfast has swayed individuals who previously cycled for environmental reasons. This has provided consumers with more options and satisfied their desire to protect the environment.

Nevertheless, a concerted effort by governments and businesses can potentially reverse this trend. Governments can initiate nationwide campaigns to educate citizens about the health benefits of cycling, such as improved muscle strength and resistance to diseases, while highlighting the risks of a sedentary lifestyle. Increased awareness of the advantages of cycling may encourage more people to choose bicycles for commuting. On the other hand, businesses can incentivize cycling to work by rewarding employees who choose this mode of transportation. For instance, companies like VNG in Vietnam have established funds to partially support bike purchases and offer incentives to employees who regularly cycle. This strategy effectively promotes an active lifestyle among the workforce.

In conclusion, the decline in cycling can be attributed to the rise of sedentary lifestyles and the popularity of electric vehicles. However, concerted efforts by authorities and businesses can potentially stimulate growth in the cycling community in the future.