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Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

In the contemporary era, culinary practices have become a topic of discussion, with some asserting that traditional food and dietary habits have undergone modifications. From my perspective, this matter, rooted in various factors, yields significant adverse consequences.

Primarily, the substantial impact of social media is a key factor that markedly transforms our daily dietary habits. Technological advancements have facilitated the widespread dissemination of diverse culinary techniques. For example, sushi, originating in Japan, has garnered immense popularity worldwide through social media, captivating non-Japanese individuals and enticing them to experience its exceptional flavors and aroma. As a result, this issue has implications, encompassing both advantages and disadvantages for all nations.

Specifically, the globalization of culinary practices has provided a diverse array of food choices for individuals. Owing to the availability of recipes on the internet, individuals can now access information about dishes from every corner of the world. Conversely, this phenomenon poses a threat to the preservation of certain traditional cuisines. For instance, in Vietnam, the increasing enthusiasm among the younger generation for foreign cuisines like Korean and Japanese has led to the potential fading of its culinary heritage, exemplified by dishes like Banh Gio, thereby impacting the nation's distinctive identity.

As a result, while this transformation brings about certain benefits, its drawbacks are more pronounced, including the erosion of authentic flavors in traditional dishes and the consequent loss of conventional identity. The massive influence of social media and technological breakthroughs has not only expanded culinary choices globally but also posed challenges to the preservation of cultural culinary heritage, especially among younger generations.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "culinary practices have become a topic of discussion" -> "culinary practices have become a subject of discourse"
    Explanation: Replacing "topic of discussion" with "subject of discourse" elevates the language to a more formal level, emphasizing the serious consideration of culinary practices.

  2. "asserting that traditional food and dietary habits have undergone modifications" -> "asserting that traditional food and dietary habits have undergone alterations"
    Explanation: Substituting "modifications" with "alterations" maintains formality and provides a more precise term for changes in traditional food and dietary habits.

  3. "From my perspective" -> "From a personal standpoint"
    Explanation: Replacing "From my perspective" with "From a personal standpoint" maintains the individual perspective while adhering to a more formal expression.

  4. "yields significant adverse consequences" -> "results in considerable adverse consequences"
    Explanation: Substituting "yields" with "results in" and choosing "considerable" over "significant" enhances formality without sacrificing clarity.

  5. "markedly transforms our daily dietary habits" -> "significantly transforms our daily dietary practices"
    Explanation: Replacing "markedly" with "significantly" and changing "habits" to "practices" contributes to a more formal tone while preserving the meaning.

  6. "For example, sushi, originating in Japan" -> "For instance, sushi, having its origins in Japan"
    Explanation: Substituting "For example" with "For instance" and rephrasing "originating" to "having its origins" aligns with a more formal style.

  7. "enticing them to experience its exceptional flavors and aroma" -> "enticing them to savor its exceptional flavors and aroma"
    Explanation: Replacing "experience" with "savor" enhances precision and formality in describing the enjoyment of flavors and aroma.

  8. "implications, encompassing both advantages and disadvantages" -> "implications, comprising both benefits and drawbacks"
    Explanation: Substituting "advantages and disadvantages" with "benefits and drawbacks" maintains formality and provides a more concise expression.

  9. "Specifically, the globalization of culinary practices" -> "Specifically, the global diffusion of culinary practices"
    Explanation: Replacing "globalization" with "global diffusion" adds a more nuanced and formal touch to the description of the spread of culinary practices.

  10. "Conversely, this phenomenon poses a threat" -> "On the contrary, this phenomenon poses a threat"
    Explanation: Replacing "Conversely" with "On the contrary" maintains the contrast while using a more formal transition.

  11. "culinary heritage, especially among younger generations" -> "culinary heritage, particularly among the younger demographic"
    Explanation: Substituting "especially" with "particularly" and replacing "younger generations" with "the younger demographic" adds formality and precision to the statement.

  12. "drawbacks are more pronounced" -> "drawbacks are more evident"
    Explanation: Replacing "pronounced" with "evident" maintains formality while conveying the idea that drawbacks are more easily observed.

  13. "the erosion of authentic flavors in traditional dishes" -> "the degradation of authentic flavors in traditional dishes"
    Explanation: Changing "erosion" to "degradation" enhances precision, providing a more formal term for the decline of authentic flavors.

  14. "massive influence of social media" -> "significant influence of social media"
    Explanation: Substituting "massive" with "significant" maintains the impact while using a more formal and precise term.

  15. "especially among younger generations" -> "particularly among the younger demographic"
    Explanation: Replacing "especially" with "particularly" and specifying "the younger demographic" adds formality and clarity to the description.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the question—why food traditions are changing and whether this change is positive or negative. The analysis covers the impact of social media, technological advancements, and globalization on culinary practices.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing a more nuanced exploration of the positive aspects of the changes, perhaps by including a brief discussion of how cultural exchange and diversity in food choices can be enriching.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position by arguing that the changes in culinary practices have adverse consequences. This stance is evident throughout the essay, creating a clear and cohesive argument.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of your position, consider explicitly stating your perspective in the introduction and conclusion. This will leave no room for ambiguity and reinforce the essay’s overarching theme.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas related to the impact of social media and globalization on culinary practices. Examples, such as the popularity of sushi and the threat to Vietnamese culinary heritage, are provided to support the argument.
    • How to improve: To further extend ideas, consider exploring additional examples or providing more in-depth analysis of the presented examples. This will add richness to your discussion and further convince the reader of the essay’s perspective.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the topic of changing food traditions and their consequences. There are no significant deviations from the prompt.
    • How to improve: To ensure continued relevance, avoid generalizations and provide more specific details, especially when discussing the impact on individual countries or specific culinary traditions. This will make your argument more robust and grounded.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, there is room for improvement in providing a more nuanced exploration of positive aspects, explicitly stating the position in the introduction and conclusion, extending ideas with more examples or in-depth analysis, and avoiding generalizations to enhance specificity. Overall, a commendable response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets the stage for discussing the changing culinary practices, and each subsequent paragraph delves into specific aspects. The essay progresses logically from the impact of social media to the globalization of culinary practices and concludes by weighing the benefits against the drawbacks.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider providing a stronger connection between paragraphs. Transitions between ideas could be smoother, guiding the reader through the essay more seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective point, avoiding potential digressions.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure its content. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, maintaining a coherent and organized presentation. Sentences within paragraphs are generally well-connected, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the use of paragraphs is commendable, strive for even greater coherence within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph directly relate to and support that main idea. This will further strengthen the essay’s overall structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transition words such as "primarily," "specifically," and "as a result." Pronouns and demonstrative words are also effectively employed to link sentences and paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Continue diversifying the use of cohesive devices. While the current usage is effective, introducing a broader range of transition words and expressions can further enhance the essay’s coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the consistent use of pronouns to avoid any potential confusion regarding the referents.

Overall, the essay presents a well-organized and cohesive argument, but refining the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring a higher level of coherence within paragraphs will contribute to an even more polished and cohesive piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some variety in word choice. There is an attempt to use specific terms related to culinary practices and globalization. However, the range could be extended to include more sophisticated and nuanced vocabulary. For instance, in the phrase "culinary practices have become a topic of discussion," more precise terms such as "gastronomic traditions" or "dietary customs" could enhance the lexical richness.

    • How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specialized terms relevant to the context. Additionally, explore synonyms and alternative expressions to avoid repetition and introduce diversity. For example, instead of repeatedly using the term "culinary practices," consider using alternatives like "food traditions" or "gastronomic customs" where appropriate.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary in a precise manner. However, there are instances where the language could be more specific. For example, the phrase "the substantial impact of social media" could be further specified with terms like "far-reaching influence" or "profound effects." Precision in language contributes to a clearer and more refined expression of ideas.

    • How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully select words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Avoid general terms when more specific alternatives are available. In this essay, consider replacing general phrases with more exact vocabulary to convey the depth of the impact of social media on culinary practices.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally high level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor errors, such as missing spaces after commas, are present. While these do not significantly detract from the overall readability, addressing these minor spelling issues would enhance the essay’s professional appearance.

    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules. In particular, ensure that spaces follow commas consistently. A thorough proofreading of the essay before submission can help identify and rectify such minor spelling and punctuation errors, contributing to a polished final piece.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and addressing minor spelling issues. Consistent attention to these aspects will contribute to a more sophisticated and refined expression of ideas in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences throughout the essay. For example, the introductory sentence is complex and sets the tone for the essay. The writer also employs conditional sentences (e.g., "if not addressed") and compound-complex structures (e.g., "while this transformation brings about certain benefits, its drawbacks are more pronounced"). These varied structures enhance the overall readability and engagement of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enrich the essay, consider incorporating more advanced sentence structures, such as inversion, parallelism, or rhetorical questions. This can elevate the sophistication of the writing and contribute to a more dynamic and nuanced expression of ideas.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy of the essay is generally strong. Sentences are well-constructed, and there are no major grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where minor punctuation issues are present. For instance, in the sentence, "For example, sushi, originating in Japan, has garnered immense popularity worldwide through social media, captivating non-Japanese individuals and enticing them to experience its exceptional flavors and aroma," a comma after "sushi" would enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to punctuation, ensuring consistency and correctness. Review the usage of commas, especially in complex sentences, to avoid potential ambiguities. Additionally, consider incorporating a variety of punctuation marks (e.g., colons, semicolons) to enhance the overall structure and flow of the essay.

In conclusion, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical structures, contributing to its overall coherence and clarity. To elevate the writing further, focus on incorporating more advanced sentence structures and fine-tune punctuation for enhanced precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present time, discussions about culinary practices have gained prominence, with some asserting that traditional food and dietary habits have undergone changes. From my perspective, this issue, influenced by various factors, leads to considerable adverse consequences.

Primarily, the significant impact of social media plays a crucial role in transforming our daily dietary practices. Technological advancements have enabled the widespread sharing of various culinary techniques. For instance, sushi, with its origins in Japan, has become immensely popular worldwide through social media, attracting non-Japanese individuals and tempting them to enjoy its exceptional flavors and aroma. Consequently, this issue has implications, including both advantages and disadvantages for all nations.

Specifically, the global diffusion of culinary practices has offered a diverse range of food choices for individuals. Thanks to the availability of recipes on the internet, people can now access information about dishes from every corner of the world. However, on the contrary, this phenomenon poses a threat to the preservation of certain traditional cuisines. For example, in Vietnam, the growing enthusiasm among the younger generation for foreign cuisines like Korean and Japanese may lead to the potential fading of its culinary heritage, as seen in dishes like Banh Gio, impacting the nation’s distinctive identity.

Therefore, while this transformation brings about certain benefits, its drawbacks are more evident, including the degradation of authentic flavors in traditional dishes and the consequent loss of conventional identity. The significant influence of social media and technological breakthroughs has not only expanded culinary choices globally but also posed challenges to the preservation of cultural culinary heritage, particularly among younger generations.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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