Nowadays the way many people access news has changed because of technology. What are the positive or negative impacts of this development?

In this day and age, residents are increasingly turning to the internet as their main source of news in place of traditional platforms like physical newspapers and TV programs. From my perspective, I firmly believe that this phenomenon far outweigh any potential drawbacks.

First and foremost, one positive aspect of using the internet to access the news is its incredible convenience. By contrast, conventional newspapers and television shows have no highly restricted reach and availability, while the internet allows quick and simplified acquire to a multitude of news sources around the world anytime and anywhere. For instance, individuals can find the news with just a few clicks, they can access the news article on social media platforms and mainstream media outlets. Furthermore, electronic newspapers are attractive to a wide audience because of their impact on many senses. We can read, listen, and watch the clip accompanying the article. This is the reason why many people turn to electronic newspapers whenever they need to find information.

Getting news online is not only expedience but also economical and environmentally friendly. In addition to being efficient, books and newspapers are inexpensive to read online. Publishers do not have to pay for printing materials, transportation and storage of books, thus greatly reducing the price and encouraging audiences to read more. With limit using printing materials, this not only saves us money but also reduces paper and energy consumption, in turn contributing to a reduced carbon footprint, which in turn lowers our environmental impact.

in conclusion, I strongly hold that getting news through the internet is a positive development that has the potential to greatly benefit

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"In this day and age" -> "In the contemporary era"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "In the contemporary era" maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"residents" -> "individuals"
Explanation: "Residents" may imply a specific locality, whereas "individuals" is more inclusive and appropriate for discussing a global phenomenon.
"far outweigh any potential drawbacks" -> "significantly outweigh any potential disadvantages"
Explanation: "Far outweigh" is somewhat informal and vague. "Significantly outweigh any potential disadvantages" is more precise and formal.
"incredible convenience" -> "remarkable convenience"
Explanation: "Incredible" can imply disbelief or informality. "Remarkable" is more neutral and suitable for academic tone.
"have no highly restricted reach and availability" -> "are significantly limited in reach and availability"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The suggested change clarifies the meaning and is more formally structured.
"quick and simplified acquire" -> "rapid and straightforward access"
Explanation: "Acquire" is misused in this context. "Access" is the correct term, and "rapid and straightforward" are more appropriate adjectives for formal writing.
"with just a few clicks, they can access" -> "with merely a few clicks, individuals can access"
Explanation: "With just a few clicks" is conversational. "Merely" is more formal, and specifying "individuals" clarifies the subject.
"electronic newspapers are attractive to a wide audience because of their impact on many senses" -> "digital newspapers appeal to a broad audience by engaging multiple senses"
Explanation: "Electronic newspapers" is less common than "digital newspapers." The revised sentence is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"expedience" -> "expediency"
Explanation: "Expedience" is incorrect in this context; "expediency" is the correct noun form referring to the efficiency and speed of getting news online.
"books and newspapers are inexpensive to read online" -> "digital versions of books and newspapers are cost-effective"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and slightly misleading (it’s not the act of reading that incurs cost). "Cost-effective" is more precise and formal.
"With limit using printing materials" -> "By limiting the use of printing materials"
Explanation: "With limit using" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested change corrects the grammar and improves clarity.
"in conclusion" -> "In conclusion"
Explanation: The phrase should be capitalized at the beginning of a sentence to adhere to proper grammatical standards.
"strongly hold that" -> "firmly believe that"
Explanation: "Hold that" is less common and slightly informal in this context. "Believe that" is more universally understood and maintains the formal tone.
"has the potential to greatly benefit" -> "offers significant benefits"
Explanation: The original phrase is incomplete and vague. "Offers significant benefits" is more direct and completes the thought more effectively.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both the positive and negative impacts of accessing news through technology. It acknowledges the shift from traditional platforms to the internet and focuses primarily on the positive aspects, such as convenience, accessibility, cost-effectiveness, and environmental friendliness.
- How to improve: While the positive impacts are well-explored, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by delving deeper into potential negative impacts, such as misinformation, echo chambers, and reduced critical thinking due to algorithmic filtering.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position favoring the use of the internet for accessing news throughout the essay. Each paragraph consistently reinforces the idea that this shift is beneficial.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that every point made aligns explicitly with the stated position, and consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the argument further.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly and supports them with examples and reasoning. It discusses the convenience, accessibility, cost-effectiveness, and environmental benefits of online news consumption.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, consider providing more in-depth analysis or incorporating additional examples to further illustrate the points made. This could involve discussing specific cases where online news consumption has led to significant positive outcomes or contrasting it with instances where traditional media might still hold advantages.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on discussing the impacts of technology on accessing news. It explores various facets of this topic, including convenience, cost-effectiveness, and environmental considerations.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains relevance to the prompt, ensuring that each paragraph directly relates to the topic of technological advancements in accessing news can further strengthen coherence and cohesion.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the positive impacts of accessing news through technology. To improve, the writer could consider providing a more balanced discussion by exploring potential drawbacks and enhancing the depth of analysis and supporting evidence provided. Additionally, maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay will further strengthen the argument presented.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a competent level of logical organization by clearly presenting an introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs each focusing on a different aspect of the topic, and a conclusion that restates the writer’s position. Each paragraph has a clear central idea – the convenience of internet news in the first body paragraph and its economic and environmental benefits in the second. However, the transitions between these ideas could be smoother, and the essay somewhat abruptly transitions from discussing convenience to economic and environmental benefits without fully exploring each point or how they interconnect.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could benefit from using more explicit transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument, such as "In addition to convenience, another significant advantage is…" This would help to create a more cohesive narrative flow. Further, developing each point more thoroughly before moving to the next would strengthen the logical progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the impact of accessing news through the internet. The structure of paragraphs, with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples, is generally well implemented. However, the conclusion is somewhat underdeveloped and does not fully encapsulate the essay’s main points or effectively reinforce the thesis statement.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could focus on expanding the conclusion to more effectively summarize the key points discussed in the essay and reinforce the thesis statement. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph is fully developed with sufficient supporting details and examples would strengthen the essay’s overall cohesion and coherence. Using a more varied structure in paragraphs, including counterarguments or a wider range of examples, could also enhance the effectiveness of the essay’s structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes use of some cohesive devices, such as "First and foremost," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion," to signal the structure of the argument and the relationship between ideas. However, the range and variety of these devices are somewhat limited, and at times the essay relies on repetitive structures ("For instance," "In addition") without exploring a broader range of devices that could enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify and more effectively use cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of expressions and transition words to signal contrast, comparison, addition, and cause-effect relationships, such as "On the other hand," "Similarly," "Moreover," and "As a result." This would not only improve the flow of the essay but also make the connections between ideas clearer and more nuanced. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can help to maintain cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument in favor of the positive impacts of accessing news through technology. By focusing on enhancing the logical flow, fully developing paragraphs, and using a wider range of cohesive devices, the writer can improve the coherence and cohesion of their essays, potentially achieving a higher band score in future attempts.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "phenomenon," "conventional," "expedience," "inexpensive," "carbon footprint," etc. Additionally, it employs various expressions and phrases to convey ideas effectively, enhancing the lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider integrating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "positive," explore synonyms like "beneficial," "advantageous," or "constructive" to add depth to your arguments. Additionally, strive to incorporate domain-specific terminology related to news consumption and technology to elevate the sophistication of your vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. However, there are instances where vocabulary usage could be more precise. For example, the phrase "impact on many senses" could be clarified or replaced with a more precise term, such as "multimodal experience," to convey the idea more explicitly. Additionally, the word "expedience" may not be the most precise choice; "convenience" might be more commonly understood.
- How to improve: Focus on selecting words and phrases that precisely convey your intended meaning. Avoid using terms that might be ambiguous or unfamiliar to your audience. Consider the context carefully and choose vocabulary that accurately reflects the nuances of your ideas. Utilize a thesaurus or dictionary to explore alternative terms and refine your vocabulary choices.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with only a few minor errors such as "highly restricted reach and availability" (should be "highly restricted reach and availability") and "acquire" (should be "access"). However, overall, spelling accuracy is maintained satisfactorily.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully before submission. Pay close attention to commonly misspelled words and verify their correct spelling. Utilize spell-checking tools available in word processing software to identify and rectify any spelling errors automatically. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing online resources to improve spelling proficiency further.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and generally maintains correct spelling, there are opportunities for refinement to elevate the lexical richness and precision of expression. By actively expanding your vocabulary, employing precise terminology, and ensuring spelling accuracy, you can enhance the effectiveness and sophistication of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in enhancing the diversity of sentence structures further. For instance, there is a tendency to rely on simple sentences, such as "Getting news online is not only expedience but also economical and environmentally friendly." While these sentences are clear and concise, incorporating more complex structures like subordinate clauses or participial phrases could elevate the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences with dependent clauses to provide additional detail and nuance to your arguments. For example, instead of stating, "Getting news online is not only expedient but also economical and environmentally friendly," you could say, "The accessibility and affordability of obtaining news online not only enhance convenience but also promote environmental sustainability, making it a favorable option for many individuals."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, there is a missing article in the phrase "the internet allows quick and simplified acquire to a multitude of news sources." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and inconsistent capitalization.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it’s crucial to proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct any errors. Pay close attention to articles (such as "a," "an," "the"), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation marks like commas and apostrophes. Additionally, consider utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers or educators to address specific areas of improvement. For instance, in the sentence mentioned earlier, it should be corrected to: "the internet allows quick and simplified access to a multitude of news sources." Furthermore, ensure consistent capitalization and punctuation throughout the essay for a polished presentation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, many individuals are shifting towards the internet as their primary source of news, replacing traditional platforms such as physical newspapers and television programs. From my perspective, I firmly believe that this trend offers significant benefits that significantly outweigh any potential drawbacks.

Firstly, the remarkable convenience of accessing news online is undeniable. Unlike traditional newspapers and TV shows, which are significantly limited in reach and availability, the internet provides rapid and straightforward access to a plethora of news sources from across the globe, anytime and anywhere. For example, with merely a few clicks, individuals can access news articles on social media platforms and mainstream media outlets. Moreover, digital newspapers appeal to a broad audience by engaging multiple senses, allowing readers to not only read but also listen and watch accompanying clips, thereby enhancing the overall experience of consuming news.

Furthermore, obtaining news online is not only convenient but also cost-effective and environmentally friendly. Digital versions of books and newspapers are cost-effective, as publishers do not incur expenses for printing materials, transportation, and storage. This cost reduction encourages more people to read while simultaneously contributing to environmental sustainability by limiting the use of printing materials and reducing paper and energy consumption. Consequently, this helps lower our carbon footprint and lessen our environmental impact.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that accessing news through the internet offers significant benefits. It provides unparalleled convenience, cost-effectiveness, and environmental sustainability, making it a positive development with the potential to greatly benefit individuals and society as a whole.