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ome people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give own your opinion.

ome people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them.
Discuss both these views and give own your opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether choosing friends who tend to have similar thoughts with us or who sometimes can be against their views. I believe both ways are suitable for most people because of their advantages.

Point: Firstly, friends with the same opinions are undoubtedly easier to share and discuss with you about any issue in life.
Acknowledgement: Granted, one might argue that when you and your friend talk about a hotly debated topic like school violence, you will both agree that bullies must receive appropriate punishment.
Counter 1: However, this line of reasoning is not sound as other perspectives need to be clearly seen from friends who think differently than you.
Explanation: Friends who sometimes disagree with you can help you gain insights into many aspects of any problem in life.
Counter 2: As for gaming, while you find that it is useless and time -consuming, your friend thinks it brings relaxation to them after school hours and it really improves their thinking ability.

Point: In addition, the contrary to your friend's point of view will probably bring you the experience and lessons from the opposition in the way you see your problem.
Explanation+Example : This is because when there is an opposition in the viewpoint, you will have to review that problem more carefully and ask yourself the question of why there is a difference in your thoughts with them. For example, when you do a difficult problem, you give a classic solution and an answer that you think is right, but your friend follows a creative way and the answer is valid.
Result: This can make you realize the views of others will support you in studying in particular and handling the problem in general.

In conclusion, making friends with people who have similar opinions and different opinions has its own merits and demerits. Hence, I believe, it is an individual’s responsibility to choose friends who are loyal and truthful to him.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Opinions are divided on whether choosing friends who tend to have similar thoughts with us or who sometimes can be against their views." -> "Opinions are divided on whether to befriend individuals who share similar perspectives or those who occasionally hold opposing views."
    Explanation: Replacing "choosing friends" with "befriending individuals" and refining the latter part of the sentence improves clarity and formalizes the language.

  2. "I believe both ways are suitable for most people because of their advantages." -> "I believe both approaches are viable for most individuals due to their respective advantages."
    Explanation: Substituting "ways" with "approaches" and rephrasing the sentence enhances formality and precision.

  3. "Firstly, friends with the same opinions are undoubtedly easier to share and discuss with you about any issue in life." -> "Firstly, friends who share similar opinions are undoubtedly more conducive to sharing and discussing various life issues with you."
    Explanation: Changing "same opinions" to "similar opinions" and rephrasing the sentence improves the overall formality and clarity.

  4. "Granted, one might argue that when you and your friend talk about a hotly debated topic like school violence, you will both agree that bullies must receive appropriate punishment." -> "Admittedly, one might argue that when you and your friend engage in a discussion on a contentious topic such as school violence, you may both concur that bullies should face appropriate consequences."
    Explanation: Substituting "talk about" with "engage in a discussion on," and refining the sentence with more formal language elevates its academic tone.

  5. "However, this line of reasoning is not sound as other perspectives need to be clearly seen from friends who think differently than you." -> "However, this line of reasoning is not sound, as it is essential to consider alternative perspectives from friends with differing views."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for better flow and replacing "clearly seen" with "consider" enhances precision.

  6. "As for gaming, while you find that it is useless and time-consuming, your friend thinks it brings relaxation to them after school hours and it really improves their thinking ability." -> "Regarding gaming, while you perceive it as useless and time-consuming, your friend believes it provides relaxation after school hours and enhances cognitive abilities."
    Explanation: Refining the language by replacing "find" with "perceive," and rephrasing for better clarity and formality.

  7. "In addition, the contrary to your friend’s point of view will probably bring you the experience and lessons from the opposition in the way you see your problem." -> "Additionally, the opposite perspective to your friend’s point of view can likely provide you with valuable experiences and lessons, shaping the way you perceive problems."
    Explanation: Clarifying the sentence and using more formal language enhances its academic tone.

  8. "This is because when there is an opposition in the viewpoint, you will have to review that problem more carefully and ask yourself the question of why there is a difference in your thoughts with them." -> "This is because when there is opposition in viewpoints, you are compelled to scrutinize the problem more thoroughly and question why there is a divergence in your thoughts."
    Explanation: Refining the sentence structure and using more precise language improves formality and clarity.

  9. "For example, when you do a difficult problem, you give a classic solution and an answer that you think is right, but your friend follows a creative way and the answer is valid." -> "For example, when faced with a challenging problem, you may provide a conventional solution that you deem correct, while your friend adopts a creative approach with a valid solution."
    Explanation: Replacing "do" with "faced with," refining the sentence structure, and using more formal language enhances the overall academic tone.

  10. "Result: This can make you realize the views of others will support you in studying in particular and handling the problem in general." -> "As a result, this realization can contribute to the understanding that diverse perspectives can assist you not only in academic pursuits but also in addressing problems more broadly."
    Explanation: Reorganizing the sentence for better flow and using more formal language improves clarity and academic tone.

  11. "In conclusion, making friends with people who have similar opinions and different opinions has its own merits and demerits." -> "In conclusion, forming friendships with individuals who share similar or differing opinions entails its own merits and drawbacks."
    Explanation: Substituting "making friends" with "forming friendships" and using more formal language enhances the academic tone.

  12. "Hence, I believe, it is an individual’s responsibility to choose friends who are loyal and truthful to him." -> "Therefore, I believe it is an individual’s responsibility to select friends who demonstrate loyalty and honesty."
    Explanation: Removing the unnecessary comma after "I believe" and refining the sentence for clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives – having friends with similar opinions and having friends with differing opinions. It provides examples for each viewpoint but could benefit from a more balanced exploration, diving deeper into the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.
    • How to improve: Expand on the advantages and drawbacks of each perspective, offering more nuanced insights into the implications of choosing friends with similar or different opinions. Elaborate on how these friendships affect personal growth, decision-making, and overall perspectives.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is somewhat clear but tends to lean towards advocating for both types of friendships. While it acknowledges both viewpoints, it doesn’t strongly defend one over the other. The stance could be more pronounced and consistent throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, articulate a stronger stance on whether having friends with similar opinions or differing opinions is more advantageous. Provide compelling arguments to support this chosen position throughout the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with some development but lacks depth in elaboration. It offers examples but doesn’t thoroughly extend or analyze them, leaving some points underexplored.
    • How to improve: Extend each point by delving deeper into the examples provided. Instead of merely presenting contrasting viewpoints, analyze the impact of these friendships on personal development, decision-making, and broadening perspectives. Provide more varied and detailed examples to reinforce the arguments made.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the advantages of having friends with similar opinions and differing opinions. However, there are moments where the discussion drifts slightly, especially in the second paragraph, discussing problem-solving approaches.
    • How to improve: Maintain a more focused discussion by ensuring each example and argument directly relates to the advantages and drawbacks of choosing friends with similar or different opinions. Avoid tangential discussions that stray from the prompt.

Improvement Tips:

  • Ensure a balanced exploration of both perspectives, highlighting the pros and cons of each approach.
  • Strengthen the essay’s position by advocating more decisively for either having friends with similar opinions or differing opinions.
  • Elaborate on examples to provide deeper insights into the implications of these friendships on personal growth and decision-making.
  • Maintain a more focused discussion throughout the essay, directly linking each point to the advantages and drawbacks of friend selection based on opinions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It opens with a clear thesis statement, introducing the two opposing views. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific point, with a consistent structure of point, acknowledgment, counterargument, and explanation. However, the flow between paragraphs could be smoother, with some abrupt transitions.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transition sentences at the end of each paragraph to smoothly lead into the next point. This will create a more cohesive and connected flow throughout the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. However, the structure within paragraphs could be improved. The essay tends to combine multiple ideas within a paragraph, making it challenging for readers to follow the thought development.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and avoid blending multiple points within the same paragraph. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that outlines the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., Firstly, In addition, However) and referencing devices (e.g., This is because, For example). However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and precision of cohesive devices, as some transitions feel repetitive.
    • How to improve: Expand your repertoire of cohesive devices to include a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, pay attention to the placement and choice of cohesive devices to ensure they contribute to the overall flow and coherence. Consider using synonyms for common transitions to avoid repetition.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a well-structured argument, refining the logical flow between paragraphs, improving the structure within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the overall coherence and cohesion. This will contribute to a more seamless and engaging reading experience for the audience.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is some variety in word choice, it does not consistently exhibit an extensive lexical repertoire. For instance, the repeated use of phrases such as "same opinions" and "different opinions" suggests a limited range. However, there are instances of more sophisticated vocabulary, such as "hotly debated topic" and "appropriate punishment."
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more nuanced and contextually appropriate synonyms for frequently used terms. For example, instead of relying on "same opinions," explore alternatives like "shared perspectives" or "similar viewpoints" to convey a richer meaning.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity and convey the intended meaning more accurately. For instance, the phrase "line of reasoning" could be more precisely replaced with "argument" or "perspective."
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the specific meaning of words and phrases. When expressing complex ideas, choose terms that precisely capture the intended nuances. Consider consulting a thesaurus or dictionary to explore alternative words with subtle distinctions in meaning.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as "discuss with you" instead of "discuss with you about" and "conclusion, making" instead of "conclusion, making friends."
    • How to improve: Proofread the essay carefully to catch minor spelling errors. Additionally, consider utilizing writing tools with spell-check features to identify and correct any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically can contribute to improved spelling accuracy.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of both range and precision. Focusing on diversifying vocabulary and ensuring precise word choices will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished expression of ideas. Additionally, continued attention to spelling accuracy will further enhance the overall linguistic quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonably diverse range of sentence structures. There is evidence of complex structures, such as conditional sentences and cause-and-effect relationships. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures. The essay tends to rely on simple and compound sentences, and more complex structures, such as relative clauses or inverted sentences, could be incorporated to enhance variety.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures. For instance, use relative clauses to add more detail to noun phrases, experiment with different types of subordination, and consider employing parallelism for stylistic variation.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar. Most sentences are grammatically correct, and there is a clear effort to convey complex ideas. However, a few instances of grammatical errors are present, such as in the phrase "talk about a hotly debated topic like school violence, you will both agree." Here, the coordination is awkward, and a clearer structure is needed.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to sentence structure, especially when dealing with complex ideas. In this case, rephrasing the sentence to improve coherence would be beneficial. Additionally, review the use of articles and prepositions to eliminate minor errors and enhance overall grammatical accuracy.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation usage is generally accurate, with proper placement of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks. However, there are a few instances where punctuation could be refined for better clarity. For example, the sentence "In conclusion, making friends with people who have similar opinions and different opinions has its own merits and demerits" could benefit from a clearer separation, perhaps with a semicolon or the rephrasing of the clause.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining punctuation for improved clarity and coherence. Consider the use of semicolons or restructuring sentences to avoid potential ambiguity. Proofread carefully to catch any minor punctuation errors and ensure the overall fluidity of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of grammar and effective communication, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures and some fine-tuning of punctuation for enhanced clarity. Continued attention to these aspects will contribute to further elevating the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions vary on whether it is preferable to befriend individuals who share similar perspectives or those who occasionally hold opposing views. I believe both approaches are suitable for most individuals due to their respective advantages.

Firstly, friends who share similar opinions undoubtedly make it easier to share and discuss various life issues. Admittedly, one might argue that when you and your friend engage in a discussion on a contentious topic such as school violence, you may both concur that bullies should face appropriate consequences. However, this line of reasoning is not sound, as it is essential to consider alternative perspectives from friends with differing views.

Regarding gaming, while you perceive it as useless and time-consuming, your friend believes it provides relaxation after school hours and enhances cognitive abilities. Additionally, the opposite perspective to your friend’s point of view can likely provide you with valuable experiences and lessons, shaping the way you perceive problems. This is because when there is opposition in viewpoints, you are compelled to scrutinize the problem more thoroughly and question why there is a divergence in your thoughts.

For example, when faced with a challenging problem, you may provide a conventional solution that you deem correct, while your friend adopts a creative approach with a valid solution. As a result, this realization can contribute to the understanding that diverse perspectives can assist you not only in academic pursuits but also in addressing problems more broadly.

In conclusion, forming friendships with individuals who share similar or differing opinions entails its own merits and drawbacks. Therefore, I believe it is an individual’s responsibility to select friends who demonstrate loyalty and honesty.

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