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.Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

.Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like.
Is it good for children?
What are the consequences when they grow up?

The practice of parents granting their children everything they ask for and catering to their every desire has become a prevalent phenomenon in today's society. I completely agree with the idea that adopting an indulgent parenting style can have detrimental effects on children, yielding potential consequences as they progress into adulthood.

While it may seem like a display of love and affection, granting children everything they ask for can have negative consequences. For instance, permissive parents who tend to buy every toy and electronic device that their children want, may inadvertently instill a belief that their desires should be fulfilled instantly, without having to wait or work for them. This constant access to instant gratification can make them fail to understand the importance of patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work. Another detrimental impact of this parenting style can be seen in children who are given unlimited access to electronic devices and video games may become addicted, neglecting their studies, physical activities, and social interactions. This lack of discipline and self-control can hinder their ability to form meaningful relationships and cope with challenges in the future.

When children grow up with parents who constantly cater to their wishes, they may face several challenges in adulthood. When parents do everything for their children, they hinder their ability to develop important skills such as problem-solving, decision-making, and taking responsibility. For instance, a young adult who has never been taught to manage their own finances may struggle with budgeting or making sound financial decisions. Moreover, individuals that are raised in an environment where their every wish is granted are more likely to engage in substance abuse or criminal activities, such as robbery or fraud, as they seek instant gratification and escape from the demands of adulthood. The lack of boundaries during their formative years can make it difficult for them to navigate societal norms and rules, resulting in a higher likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors.
In conclusion, while it is natural for parents to want to fulfill their children's desires, excessive indulgence can have detrimental effects on their development and future well-being.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "granting their children everything they ask for and catering to their every desire" -> "acceding to their children’s every request and indulging their every whim"
    Explanation: Replacing "granting their children everything they ask for and catering to their every desire" with "acceding to their children’s every request and indulging their every whim" introduces more sophisticated vocabulary and aligns with a formal tone.

  2. "I completely agree with the idea that adopting an indulgent parenting style can have detrimental effects on children" -> "I wholeheartedly support the notion that embracing an indulgent parenting style can adversely impact children"
    Explanation: Substituting "I completely agree with the idea that adopting an indulgent parenting style can have detrimental effects on children" with "I wholeheartedly support the notion that embracing an indulgent parenting style can adversely impact children" enhances formality and precision in expression.

  3. "For instance, permissive parents who tend to buy every toy and electronic device that their children want" -> "For example, lenient parents who consistently purchase every desired toy and electronic gadget for their children"
    Explanation: Replacing "For instance, permissive parents who tend to buy every toy and electronic device that their children want" with "For example, lenient parents who consistently purchase every desired toy and electronic gadget for their children" maintains clarity while utilizing more refined language.

  4. "This constant access to instant gratification can make them fail to understand the importance of patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work." -> "This continual exposure to immediate gratification can lead them to overlook the significance of patience, gratitude, and the importance of diligent effort."
    Explanation: Substituting "This constant access to instant gratification can make them fail to understand the importance of patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work." with "This continual exposure to immediate gratification can lead them to overlook the significance of patience, gratitude, and the importance of diligent effort." improves the precision of the statement and elevates the language.

  5. "Another detrimental impact of this parenting style can be seen in children who are given unlimited access to electronic devices and video games" -> "Another adverse consequence of this parenting approach is evident in children granted unrestricted access to electronic devices and video games."
    Explanation: Replacing "Another detrimental impact of this parenting style can be seen in children who are given unlimited access to electronic devices and video games" with "Another adverse consequence of this parenting approach is evident in children granted unrestricted access to electronic devices and video games." enhances formality and clarity.

  6. "When parents do everything for their children, they hinder their ability to develop important skills" -> "When parents cater to every need of their children, they impede the development of crucial skills"
    Explanation: Substituting "When parents do everything for their children, they hinder their ability to develop important skills" with "When parents cater to every need of their children, they impede the development of crucial skills" offers a more concise and academically appropriate phrasing.

  7. "individuals that are raised in an environment where their every wish is granted" -> "individuals raised in an environment where every wish is fulfilled"
    Explanation: Changing "individuals that are raised in an environment where their every wish is granted" to "individuals raised in an environment where every wish is fulfilled" streamlines the sentence and removes unnecessary wording.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "While it may seem like a display of love and affection, granting children everything they ask for can have negative consequences."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction effectively presents the author’s stance on the topic, highlighting the potential negative impact of fulfilling every child’s desire. However, it lacks a concise preview of the main points to be discussed. Incorporating a preview of subsequent paragraphs here could strengthen the essay’s structure and assist the reader in anticipating the upcoming arguments.
    • Improved example: "While it may seem like a display of love and affection, granting children everything they ask for can have negative consequences. This essay will delve into two primary repercussions: the erosion of patience and the development of addictive behaviors."
  2. Quoted text: "Another detrimental impact of this parenting style can be seen in children who are given unlimited access to electronic devices and video games may become addicted, neglecting their studies, physical activities, and social interactions."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The idea is well-addressed, emphasizing the negative effects of unlimited access to electronic devices. To enhance this point, consider providing a specific example or anecdote to illustrate how excessive screen time can hinder social interactions or academic performance. This would offer a more vivid and relatable illustration of the consequences discussed.
    • Improved example: "Furthermore, this unrestricted access to screens often leads to an imbalance in a child’s life. For instance, a child engrossed in video games might gradually withdraw from social engagements, affecting their ability to communicate and build relationships."
  3. Quoted text: "When children grow up with parents who constantly cater to their wishes, they may face several challenges in adulthood."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This part effectively transitions to the consequences in adulthood due to indulgent parenting. Yet, it would be advantageous to include a brief overview of the specific challenges faced in adulthood. This preview can serve as a roadmap, guiding the reader through the forthcoming discussion.
    • Improved example: "Consequently, these children may encounter multifaceted challenges in their adult lives, encompassing financial struggles, lack of essential life skills, and a higher susceptibility to engaging in risky behaviors."

Overall, the essay adeptly outlines the negative repercussions of indulgent parenting on children’s development and future. Strengthening the essay’s structure by providing concise previews of subsequent arguments can significantly bolster its coherence and readability. Incorporating vivid examples or anecdotes to illustrate the discussed consequences would further enrich the essay’s content and impact.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas with a clear progression throughout. It starts with an introduction that states the author’s position and proceeds to discuss the potential negative impacts of indulgent parenting on children. Each paragraph focuses on distinct aspects, such as instant gratification, addiction to technology, and the repercussions in adulthood. There is a cohesive flow between sentences, allowing for a smooth transition between ideas.

Cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas within and between sentences. The essay effectively employs cohesive devices like transitional phrases ("While it may seem like," "For instance," "Moreover," "In conclusion") to link concepts and maintain coherence. However, there could be a slightly more varied use of cohesive devices to further strengthen the connections between ideas.

Paragraphing is adequately utilized, providing clear breaks between different points discussed in the essay. Each paragraph centers on a specific aspect related to the effects of indulgent parenting, enhancing readability and coherence. However, there could be a more nuanced application of paragraphing for greater emphasis on certain arguments or to enhance the essay’s overall structure.

How to improve:

  1. Varied Use of Cohesive Devices: Consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the connections between ideas further. Utilize synonyms or alternate transitional phrases where appropriate to diversify the language and improve coherence.
  2. Refine Paragraph Structure: While the essay employs paragraphing effectively, consider refining the structure to better emphasize critical points. This could involve grouping related ideas more distinctly within paragraphs or using paragraph breaks to accentuate shifts in argumentation or focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, maintaining a clear progression of ideas throughout the response. Refinement in the application of cohesive devices and paragraph structure could further elevate the essay’s coherence to a higher band level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, utilizing a variety of words and expressions to convey ideas effectively. There is an awareness of style and collocation, with the use of appropriate words and phrases throughout the essay. The writer successfully conveys the negative consequences of indulgent parenting on children’s development. The essay includes examples and details to support the arguments, showcasing a sufficient range of vocabulary. While there are some occasional errors in word choice and collocation, they do not significantly impede communication. Overall, the lexical resource is solid, meeting the criteria for Band 7.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, consider incorporating more sophisticated and precise vocabulary where possible. Ensure that the less common lexical items used are accurate in both word choice and collocation. Additionally, carefully proofread the essay to eliminate any minor errors in spelling or word formation that may be present.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a variety of complex structures, contributing to the Band 7 criterion. The writer successfully incorporates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms to convey ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances where errors are present, though they do not significantly impede communication.

For example, in the sentence, "This constant access to instant gratification can make them fail to understand the importance of patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work," there is a minor error in the use of "make them fail," which could be revised for smoother expression. Despite such occasional errors, the overall grammatical range and accuracy are strong, aligning with the Band 7 descriptor.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, the writer should aim for greater precision in expressing ideas, paying attention to the usage of complex structures. Additionally, thorough proofreading to catch and correct minor errors would contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The trend of parents granting their children every request and indulging their whims has become widespread in today’s society. I strongly agree that embracing an indulgent parenting style can negatively impact children, leading to potential consequences as they mature into adults.

While it might seem like an expression of love, fulfilling every wish of children can have adverse effects. For instance, lenient parents who consistently buy every toy and electronic gadget that their children desire may unknowingly instill the belief that their wants should be instantly satisfied, without needing to wait or put in effort. This constant access to immediate gratification may lead them to overlook the importance of patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work. Another harmful impact of this parenting approach can be observed in children given unrestricted access to electronic devices and video games, potentially leading to addiction and neglect of studies, physical activities, and social interactions. This lack of discipline and self-control can impede their ability to form meaningful relationships and handle challenges in the future.

As children raised with parents who continually cater to their wishes transition into adulthood, they may encounter several difficulties. When parents do everything for their children, they impede their capacity to develop vital skills like problem-solving, decision-making, and taking responsibility. For example, a young adult who hasn’t learned to manage finances might struggle with budgeting or making prudent financial choices. Furthermore, individuals brought up in an environment where their every desire is met are more inclined to engage in substance abuse or criminal activities, seeking instant gratification and an escape from the demands of adulthood. The absence of boundaries during their formative years can make it challenging for them to navigate societal norms and regulations, increasing the likelihood of risky behaviors.

In conclusion, while it’s natural for parents to want to fulfill their children’s desires, excessive indulgence can have detrimental effects on their development and future well-being.

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