Part 3. Write an essay of 350 words on the following topic: Some people say that AI ( Artificial Intelligence) is having a great impact on education , so there will soon be no roles for teachers in it. To what extent, do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Part 3. Write an essay of 350 words on the following topic:
Some people say that AI ( Artificial Intelligence) is having a great impact on education , so there will soon be no roles for teachers in it.
To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
The integration of Artificial Intelligence has revolutionized the workforce and therefore its impact on education is a multifaceted topic in today’s society. While many people maintain that AI will act as an alternative to the teachers, I believe that this proposal yields too some drawbacks and I will give a number of convincing explanations to defend my opinions.
Admittedly, the advances in technology allow teenagers to solve their difficulties without the appearance of their teachers. To illustrate, there are many digital platforms enable students to directly with AI bots. Owing to this convenience, elevate their speaking English skills by practicing to enhance their strengths but also can brings adolescents not only can set their own schedules, the innovation in the way they acquire new valuable knowledge. This in turn, helps young adults to solve curb their burdensome situations anywhere regarding and every anytime and regardless regarding of geographical distance.
However, there are many compelling arguments to convince that this suggestion may have serious shortcomings in educational environment. Chief of these is that students may have trouble in comprehension and deep understanding of complex information given by AI. As an illustration, there is a trend towards utilizing ChatCPT to find out math solutions. Although it minimizes time consuming, many teenagers can not interpret the way this technological platform use using formulas and why It approaches to a certain method. Unless they acquire their teachers to explain some misleading information, adolescent can not enhance their academic performance. Additionally, without the supervision of tutors, students, might utilize this innovation to cheat on exam. The driving force behind this is that AI provide them with rapid speed quickly solutions, teenagers may depend be too dependent on this upside.
In conclusion, notwithstanding its advantages including convenience, Artificial intelligence is culprit for superficial understanding along with cheating during official exam. It is advised able to school to balance between using AI and that AI should implement optimal policies to utilize school in classroom to enhance educational standards.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"revolutionized the workforce" -> "transformed the workforce"
Explanation: "Transformed" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "revolutionized," which can carry a connotation of dramatic change that might be too strong for this context. -
"yield too some drawbacks" -> "pose some drawbacks"
Explanation: The phrase "yield too some" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Pose" is the correct verb to use in this context, indicating the presentation of potential disadvantages. -
"I will give a number of convincing explanations to defend my opinions" -> "I will present several compelling arguments to support my position"
Explanation: "Present several compelling arguments" is more formal and precise than "give a number of convincing explanations," aligning better with academic writing standards. -
"digital platforms enable students to directly with AI bots" -> "digital platforms enable students to interact directly with AI bots"
Explanation: "Interact" is the correct verb for describing communication with AI, whereas "directly with" is grammatically incorrect. -
"elevate their speaking English skills" -> "enhance their English language skills"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise and formal than "elevate," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts. -
"can brings adolescents" -> "can benefit adolescents"
Explanation: "Can brings" is grammatically incorrect. "Can benefit" is the correct form and maintains the formal tone. -
"curb their burdensome situations" -> "mitigate their burdensome situations"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise term than "curb," which is less commonly used in academic writing and can be vague. -
"regarding and every anytime and regardless regarding of geographical distance" -> "at any time and from any geographical location"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The suggested revision clarifies and corrects the sentence structure. -
"Chief of these is that" -> "One major concern is that"
Explanation: "One major concern" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a significant point in academic writing. -
"students may have trouble in comprehension and deep understanding" -> "students may struggle with comprehension and deep understanding"
Explanation: "Struggle with" is more precise and academically appropriate than "have trouble in," which is less formal. -
"minimizes time consuming" -> "reduces time consumption"
Explanation: "Reduces time consumption" is grammatically correct and more formal than "minimizes time consuming." -
"can not interpret the way this technological platform use using formulas" -> "cannot interpret how this technological platform uses formulas"
Explanation: "Cannot interpret how this technological platform uses formulas" corrects grammatical errors and improves clarity. -
"It approaches to a certain method" -> "it approaches a particular method"
Explanation: "Approaches a particular method" is grammatically correct and more precise than "approaches to a certain method." -
"adolescent can not enhance their academic performance" -> "adolescents cannot enhance their academic performance"
Explanation: Corrects the subject-verb agreement and removes the unnecessary possessive form "adolescent’s." -
"might utilize this innovation to cheat on exam" -> "might use this innovation to cheat on exams"
Explanation: "Use" is more formal than "utilize," and "exams" is the correct plural form. -
"Artificial intelligence is culprit for superficial understanding" -> "Artificial intelligence is a culprit for superficial understanding"
Explanation: "A" is necessary before "culprit" to make the phrase grammatically correct. -
"It is advised able to school to balance" -> "It is advisable for schools to balance"
Explanation: "It is advisable for schools to balance" corrects the awkward and grammatically incorrect original phrase.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of AI in education. However, it does not fully explore the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. The introduction hints at a disagreement but lacks a clear, definitive stance throughout the essay. For instance, while the author mentions drawbacks, the lack of a strong conclusion on the overall agreement or disagreement with the statement leaves the reader uncertain about the author’s position.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Clearly articulating whether they agree, disagree, or partially agree with the statement will provide a more focused argument.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat unclear position. While the author indicates a belief in the drawbacks of AI, the phrasing is vague, such as "this proposal yields too some drawbacks." This ambiguity detracts from the overall clarity of the argument. The position could be more assertively stated and consistently referenced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: The author should use clear and direct language to state their position. Phrases like "I strongly disagree" or "I partially agree" can help clarify the stance. Additionally, consistently linking back to this position in each paragraph will reinforce the argument.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the impact of AI on education, such as convenience and potential for cheating. However, the support for these ideas is often weak or unclear. For example, the explanation about digital platforms lacks coherence and specificity, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the point. Furthermore, the examples provided, such as the use of ChatGPT, are not fully developed or explained.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should provide clearer examples and elaborate on them. Each pointshould be supported by specific instances or data that illustrate the argument effectively. For example, discussing specific AI tools and their implications in education, along with real-world examples, would enhance the depth of the argument.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of AI in education. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the discussion of students "curbing their burdensome situations," which is vague and does not directly relate to the prompt. Additionally, some sentences are convoluted, making it challenging to follow the argument.
- How to improve: The author should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Simplifying complex sentences and avoiding vague phrases will help maintain focus. Regularly revisiting the prompt during the writing process can also help ensure that all points made are relevant to the question at hand.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic, it requires clearer articulation of the position, stronger support for ideas, and a more focused approach to fully meet the criteria for a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of AI in education. However, the logical flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For instance, the transition from the benefits of AI to its drawbacks is abrupt and lacks a clear linking sentence. Additionally, some sentences are convoluted, making it difficult to follow the argument. For example, "Owing to this convenience, elevate their speaking English skills by practicing to enhance their strengths but also can brings adolescents not only can set their own schedules, the innovation in the way they acquire new valuable knowledge" is confusing and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, after discussing the benefits of AI, you could use a phrase like "Despite these advantages, there are significant drawbacks to consider" to introduce the next section. Additionally, simplify complex sentences to ensure clarity.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure within each paragraph is sometimes unclear. The first body paragraph mixes multiple ideas without clear separation, making it difficult to follow the main point. The second body paragraph is more focused but still contains sentences that are overly complex and somewhat disjointed.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like "AI provides several benefits for students, such as personalized learning and flexible schedules." Then, follow with specific examples and explanations. Ensure each paragraph ends with a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are often misused or overused, leading to confusion. For instance, phrases like "Owing to this convenience" and "This in turn" are not always used appropriately, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Additionally, there are instances of repetition and redundancy, such as "regarding and every anytime and regardless regarding of geographical distance."
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices and ensure they are used correctly. Avoid redundancy and repetition. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, use "Furthermore" to add information, "However" to contrast, and "Therefore" to show cause and effect. Practice using these devices in different contexts to become more comfortable with their appropriate use.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to provide a balanced view, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices are needed to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "revolutionized," "multifaceted," and "compelling arguments." However, there are instances where the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "students may have trouble in comprehension" could be expressed with different synonyms to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "students may have trouble," alternatives like "students might struggle" or "learners could face challenges" could be used. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to education and technology would strengthen the essay.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "the appearance of their teachers" is unclear; it would be more precise to say "the presence of their teachers." Similarly, "the innovation in the way they acquire new valuable knowledge" could be simplified to "the innovative methods of acquiring knowledge."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should review their word choices and consider whether they convey the intended meaning clearly. Using simpler, more direct language can often improve clarity. For instance, instead of "the integration of Artificial Intelligence has revolutionized the workforce," the writer might say "Artificial Intelligence has transformed various industries."
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that affect its overall quality. For example, "ChatCPT" should be "ChatGPT," and "adolescents not only can set their own schedules" is awkwardly phrased and contains a typographical error. Additionally, "the driving force behind this is that AI provide them with rapid speed quickly solutions" has grammatical issues that affect clarity.
- How to improve: To improve spelling and overall accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Furthermore, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary lists can reinforce correct spelling habits.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will significantly improve the Lexical Resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as complex sentences ("Although it minimizes time consuming, many teenagers can not interpret the way this technological platform use using formulas and why It approaches to a certain method"). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and redundancy that detract from clarity. For example, "the innovation in the way they acquire new valuable knowledge" could be simplified for better readability. The use of simple sentences is also prevalent, which limits the overall grammatical range.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex and compound sentences. For instance, combining shorter sentences into more intricate structures can improve flow and coherence. Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences could add depth to the argumentation.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "there are many digital platforms enable students to directly with AI bots" is missing a verb ("that enable"). Additionally, phrases like "the innovation in the way they acquire new valuable knowledge" are convoluted and could be clearer. Punctuation errors, such as the misuse of commas (e.g., "students, might utilize this innovation"), also hinder readability. The use of "that" and "which" is inconsistent, leading to confusion in clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that all clauses are properly constructed. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly on verb forms and sentence structure, can help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning will enhance overall clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools could also be beneficial in identifying and correcting mistakes before submission.
Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, focusing on the diversity of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of writing and potentially raise the band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
The integration of Artificial Intelligence has revolutionized the workforce, and therefore its impact on education is a multifaceted topic in today’s society. While many people maintain that AI will act as an alternative to teachers, I believe that this proposal poses some drawbacks, and I will present several compelling arguments to support my position.
Admittedly, advances in technology allow teenagers to solve their difficulties without the presence of their teachers. To illustrate, there are many digital platforms that enable students to interact directly with AI bots. Owing to this convenience, they can elevate their English speaking skills by practicing to enhance their strengths. Additionally, adolescents can set their own schedules, transforming the way they acquire new valuable knowledge. This, in turn, helps young adults mitigate their burdensome situations at any time and from any geographical location.
However, there are many compelling arguments to suggest that this proposal may have serious shortcomings in the educational environment. Chief among these is that students may struggle with comprehension and deep understanding of complex information provided by AI. For instance, there is a trend towards utilizing ChatGPT to find math solutions. Although it reduces time consumption, many teenagers cannot interpret how this technological platform uses formulas and why it approaches a particular method. Unless they have their teachers to explain some misleading information, adolescents cannot enhance their academic performance. Additionally, without the supervision of tutors, students might use this innovation to cheat on exams. The driving force behind this is that AI provides them with rapid solutions, leading teenagers to become too dependent on this advantage.
In conclusion, notwithstanding its advantages, including convenience, Artificial Intelligence is a culprit for superficial understanding and cheating during official exams. It is advisable for schools to balance the use of AI with traditional teaching methods to enhance educational standards.
