People have to spend more and more time to travelling between their homes for place of work and study. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Nowadays many people have to waste a lot of time traveling to go to work or study. This essay will examine the rationale behind this phenomenon and suggest positive solutions to it.
There are several reasons why many individuals spend much time commuting to their workplace or school, the most important of which are related to the housing crisis. It is true that high housing costs are skyrocketing, which means rental prices will also increase, making it significantly difficult for most people, especially middle-class families to afford city living. Therefore, a lot of families have decided to choose to live in areas where far from large vibrant urban in order to seek more affordable housing options in suburban or rural areas, thus helping to reduce part of the financial pressure on their families. For instance, the rental cost in Ho Chi Minh City is approximately 10 million dongs to 12 million dongs for a condo for 3 people, while the one in areas where far from the center places just accounts for one-third of the cost, leading to many individuals accept longer commuting to can save some money for their families.
In order to deal with the aforementioned problem, the government should implement in terms of social security and infrastructure. As far as the first idea is concerned, the authorities should have policies about social security through social housing projects, to create suitable conditions for many families with low incomes so that they can buy themselves a reasonable house within their budget. In addition, investing in public transportation systems, including buses, trains, and subways, which can provide efficient and affordable alternative to driving. Thanks to infrastructure development can encourage more people to use public transportation, thereby reducing traffic congestion and commuting times.
In conclusion, the reason why many individuals accept increased commuting time to reach their workplace or educational institutions comes from economic pressure on housing. To solve this problem, the government should expand the construction of social housing policies to create favorable conditions for citizens to work and study in a more convenient and safe environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is colloquial; "currently" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic tone of the essay.
"waste a lot of time traveling" -> "spend considerable time commuting"
Explanation: "waste" is slightly negative and informal; "spend considerable time commuting" maintains the meaning while adopting a more formal tone.
"the rationale behind this phenomenon" -> "the reasons for this trend"
Explanation: "rationale" is less common in academic writing; "reasons for this trend" is clearer and more appropriate.
"It is true that" -> Remove
Explanation: "It is true that" is redundant and unnecessary in formal writing.
"skyrocketing" -> "increasing rapidly"
Explanation: "skyrocketing" is a bit informal; "increasing rapidly" maintains the intensity without sacrificing formality.
"making it significantly difficult" -> "rendering it significantly challenging"
Explanation: "making it significantly difficult" is awkward; "rendering it significantly challenging" is more sophisticated and grammatically correct.
"in areas where far from large vibrant urban" -> "in outlying areas away from major urban centers"
Explanation: "where far from" is awkward; "outlying areas away from major urban centers" is clearer and more formal.
"thus helping to reduce part of the financial pressure on their families" -> "thus alleviating some financial strain on their families"
Explanation: "reduce part of" is awkward; "alleviating some financial strain on their families" is more concise and formal.
"the rental cost" -> "rental prices"
Explanation: "the rental cost" is less precise; "rental prices" is more specific and commonly used.
"accounts for one-third of the cost" -> "amounts to one-third of the expense"
Explanation: "accounts for" is less formal; "amounts to" is more appropriate in academic writing.
"accept longer commuting to can save some money" -> "accept longer commutes to save money"
Explanation: "accept longer commuting to can save some money" is grammatically incorrect; "accept longer commutes to save money" is clearer and more concise.
"in terms of social security and infrastructure" -> "in terms of social welfare and infrastructure"
Explanation: "social security" refers more to financial assistance; "social welfare" encompasses broader societal benefits.
"the first idea is concerned" -> "the first aspect is concerned"
Explanation: "the first idea is concerned" is vague; "the first aspect is concerned" is more precise.
"to create suitable conditions for many families with low incomes so that they can buy themselves a reasonable house within their budget" -> "to facilitate affordable housing options for low-income families"
Explanation: The original phrase is lengthy and redundant; the suggested alternative is concise and clearer.
"Thanks to infrastructure development can encourage" -> "Infrastructure development can promote"
Explanation: "Thanks to" is too casual; "Infrastructure development can promote" is more appropriate in formal writing.
"in a more convenient and safe environment" -> "in a safer and more convenient environment"
Explanation: Rearranging for clarity and conciseness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the question by discussing the reasons for increased travel time between homes and workplaces or schools, and by proposing solutions to mitigate this issue.
- Regarding the reasons for increased travel time, the essay highlights the housing crisis as the primary factor, specifically noting the rising costs of housing in urban areas. It explains how this leads to people opting for more affordable housing options in suburban or rural areas, necessitating longer commutes.
- For the solution aspect, the essay suggests government intervention in the form of social security measures and infrastructure development to address housing affordability and improve transportation options.
- How to improve: While the essay provides a satisfactory response to both parts of the prompt, it could enhance its analysis by delving deeper into the various factors contributing to the housing crisis and exploring additional solutions beyond social housing and transportation infrastructure. Additionally, providing specific data or examples to support the arguments would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, consistently advocating for government intervention to address the issue of increased commuting time due to the housing crisis.
- It asserts the necessity of government policies on social security and infrastructure development as the primary means to alleviate the problem.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could improve by further strengthening the coherence between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensuring that each paragraph reinforces the central argument would enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the reasons for increased travel time and proposes solutions with adequate development and support.
- It elaborates on the housing crisis as the main reason for longer commutes, providing an example from Ho Chi Minh City to illustrate the impact of housing costs on commuting patterns.
- Furthermore, the essay elaborates on potential solutions, such as social housing projects and investment in public transportation, with reasoning for their effectiveness in addressing the issue.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively presents and supports ideas, it could benefit from further elaboration on the potential challenges or drawbacks associated with the proposed solutions. Additionally, providing counterarguments or alternative perspectives would enrich the depth of analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by focusing on the reasons for increased travel time and offering solutions to mitigate this problem.
- It maintains relevance by consistently addressing the housing crisis and its impact on commuting patterns throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To ensure strict adherence to the topic, the essay should avoid tangential discussions or extraneous details that do not directly contribute to addressing the prompt. Maintaining a laser focus on the relationship between housing affordability and commuting time would strengthen the coherence and relevance of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that sets up the discussion about the time spent commuting, followed by paragraphs addressing reasons and solutions. Each paragraph presents a distinct idea, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For instance, provide a clearer bridge between the discussion of reasons and solutions. Also, consider incorporating a stronger thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve coherence.
- How to improve: Work on improving paragraph transitions by utilizing transitional phrases or sentences that connect ideas between paragraphs. For instance, use phrases like "Moreover," or "Furthermore," to signal the continuation of the discussion from one paragraph to the next.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as pronouns ("it," "this"), conjunctions ("therefore," "in addition"), and transitional phrases ("as far as," "in conclusion") to connect ideas and guide the reader through the essay. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and frequency of cohesive devices used.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices such as synonyms, parallel structures, and transitional adverbs. Additionally, pay attention to the frequency of their usage to ensure a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay. For instance, vary the transition words and phrases used to avoid repetition and maintain reader engagement.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to utilize a variety of vocabulary throughout. It employs terms such as "phenomenon," "skyrocketing," "vibrant urban," "commuting," "infrastructure," and "congestion," among others. However, there is room for enhancement in diversifying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay’s lexical resource, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases for frequently used words. For example, instead of repeatedly using "housing crisis," you could substitute with terms like "accommodation dilemma" or "residential predicament." Additionally, expand your vocabulary by incorporating domain-specific terminology related to urban planning, transportation, and social policy, thereby enhancing the precision and sophistication of your arguments.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally precise use of vocabulary, effectively conveying ideas with clarity. For instance, terms like "social security," "public transportation systems," and "housing policies" are aptly chosen to discuss specific concepts related to the topic. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise or contextually appropriate.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully consider the context in which each word is used. Ensure that vocabulary choices accurately reflect the intended meaning and effectively convey nuances. For instance, instead of using the broad term "policies," specify the type of policies being proposed, such as "housing affordability measures" or "transportation subsidies." This level of specificity adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the issues discussed.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors observed. However, there are instances of misspellings and typographical errors throughout the text, such as "commuting to can save" (should be "commuting to save") and "large vibrant urban" (could be improved as "vibrant urban areas").
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing strategies such as proofreading carefully before submission, utilizing spelling and grammar checkers, and practicing spelling through regular writing exercises. Additionally, pay close attention to word endings, verb conjugations, and commonly misspelled words to minimize errors and improve overall clarity and professionalism in your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It incorporates simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, simple sentences like "This essay will examine the rationale behind this phenomenon and suggest positive solutions to it" are utilized alongside more complex structures such as "It is true that high housing costs are skyrocketing, which means rental prices will also increase, making it significantly difficult for most people, especially middle-class families to afford city living."
- How to improve: While the variety of structures is sufficient, incorporating more complex sentence structures can further enhance the essay’s sophistication. Introducing sentences with subordinate clauses or employing rhetorical devices like parallelism can add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances where errors are present. For example, "a lot of families have decided to choose to live in areas where far from large vibrant urban in order to seek more affordable housing options in suburban or rural areas" contains a grammatical error with the placement of "where far from large vibrant urban" which disrupts the sentence’s clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s essential to pay close attention to sentence structure and word choice. Proofreading for clarity and coherence can help identify and correct errors. Additionally, reviewing grammar rules related to sentence construction, such as parallelism and subject-verb agreement, can contribute to improved accuracy. Furthermore, ensuring proper punctuation usage, particularly in complex sentences, will enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, a growing number of people find themselves spending considerable time commuting between their homes and workplaces or educational institutions. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this trend and propose potential solutions.

There are several factors contributing to the increasing amount of time people spend commuting. The primary reason is the escalating housing costs, which result in higher rental prices. This renders it significantly challenging for many individuals, particularly middle-class families, to afford urban living. As a result, families opt to reside in outlying areas away from major urban centers where rental prices are more affordable, thus alleviating some financial strain on their families. For instance, in Ho Chi Minh City, a condo for three people may cost between 10 million to 12 million dongs, whereas in suburban areas, it amounts to one-third of the expense. This leads many individuals to accept longer commutes to save money.

To address this issue, governments should focus on social welfare and infrastructure development. Regarding social welfare, authorities should implement policies aimed at facilitating affordable housing options for low-income families through social housing projects. This would enable families to purchase suitable homes within their budgetary constraints. Additionally, investing in public transportation systems, such as buses, trains, and subways, would provide a safer and more convenient commuting alternative. Improved infrastructure can promote a shift towards public transportation, resulting in a safer and more convenient environment for commuters.

In conclusion, the increasing time spent commuting is primarily driven by economic pressures related to housing. To mitigate this issue, governments should prioritize expanding social housing options and investing in transportation infrastructure to enable citizens to work and study in more convenient and secure settings.