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People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, the standard of living has experienced a remarkable improvement in comparison to previous centuries. From a comprehensive viewpoint, it is undeniable that life is vastly superior for the majority of people in the world today, primarily due to the accessibility of enhanced healthcare and education.

In the last century, humanity has witnessed unprecedented advancements in the field of healthcare. In the past, diseases like smallpox, malaria, or measles posed severe threats to life. The lack of effective disease prevention measures, coupled with limited medical research and treatment options, left individuals vulnerable to these deadly illnesses. However, thanks to the relentless efforts of scientists and medical professionals, the situation has been revolutionized. The development of new vaccines, antibiotics, and groundbreaking treatments has transformed our ability to combat diseases, and substantially bolstering our immune systems. These medical breakthroughs, although sometimes accompanied by a high cost, have undeniably saved the countless lives of people worldwide.

Moreover, the transformative impact of education on the well-being of individuals cannot be overstated. In this century, access to education has expanded exponentially, surpassing the opportunities available a hundred years ago. The proliferation of schools, universities, and the rise of online-based education has shattered previous barriers, ensuring that more children now have the privilege of acquiring knowledge. Financial or geographical constraints no longer pose insurmountable obstacles to education. This democratization of learning has played a pivotal role in elevating the human experience. The improvement in educational standards has fostered the emergence of innovative teaching and learning methodologies, equipping students with comprehensive knowledge and essential skills. Consequently, the modern workforce is more adept and adaptable, forming the backbone of a nation's economic prosperity as they can effectively meet the demands of a dynamic economy.

In conclusion, the advancements in healthcare and the accessibility of education have undoubtedly resulted in a significant improvement in people's well-being today


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Undoubtedly, the standard of living has experienced a remarkable improvement" -> "Undoubtedly, the quality of life has undergone remarkable enhancement"
    Explanation: Replacing "standard of living" with "quality of life" and "experienced a remarkable improvement" with "undergone remarkable enhancement" provides a more refined expression in academic style.

  2. "From a comprehensive viewpoint" -> "From a comprehensive perspective"
    Explanation: Changing "viewpoint" to "perspective" maintains formality, and "comprehensive perspective" is a more precise term in academic writing.

  3. "vastly superior" -> "significantly superior"
    Explanation: "Vastly" can be considered too informal in academic writing; substituting it with "significantly" maintains formality while conveying a similar meaning.

  4. "due to the accessibility of enhanced healthcare and education" -> "attributable to the widespread availability of improved healthcare and education"
    Explanation: Replacing "accessibility" with "widespread availability" and "enhanced" with "improved" contributes to a more academic tone and clarity.

  5. "humanity has witnessed unprecedented advancements" -> "humanity has witnessed remarkable progress"
    Explanation: While "unprecedented advancements" is not incorrect, "remarkable progress" is a slightly more formal and precise expression in academic writing.

  6. "posed severe threats to life" -> "posed significant threats to human life"
    Explanation: Replacing "severe threats" with "significant threats to human life" maintains the seriousness of the statement while using more formal language.

  7. "left individuals vulnerable to these deadly illnesses" -> "rendered individuals susceptible to these life-threatening diseases"
    Explanation: Substituting "vulnerable" with "rendered susceptible" and "deadly illnesses" with "life-threatening diseases" enhances the precision and formality of the statement.

  8. "relentless efforts of scientists and medical professionals" -> "dedicated efforts of scientists and medical professionals"
    Explanation: Changing "relentless" to "dedicated" maintains the positive connotation while being more suitable for academic language.

  9. "groundbreaking treatments has transformed our ability" -> "groundbreaking treatments have transformed our capability"
    Explanation: Correcting the subject-verb agreement by changing "has" to "have" ensures grammatical accuracy.

  10. "substantially bolstering our immune systems" -> "substantially enhancing our immune systems"
    Explanation: Replacing "bolstering" with "enhancing" offers a more precise and formal term in the context of medical advancements.

  11. "sometimes accompanied by a high cost" -> "sometimes associated with a considerable cost"
    Explanation: Using "associated with" instead of "accompanied by" and "considerable cost" instead of "high cost" aligns better with formal academic language.

  12. "undeniably saved the countless lives of people worldwide" -> "undeniably saved innumerable lives globally"
    Explanation: Substituting "countless" with "innumerable" and "worldwide" with "globally" maintains precision and formality.

  13. "transformative impact of education on the well-being of individuals cannot be overstated" -> "profound impact of education on the well-being of individuals cannot be overstated"
    Explanation: Introducing "profound" enhances the strength of the statement, and it aligns better with academic formality.

  14. "access to education has expanded exponentially" -> "access to education has expanded significantly"
    Explanation: Replacing "exponentially" with "significantly" ensures a more formal tone without sacrificing clarity.

  15. "shattered previous barriers" -> "overcome previous barriers"
    Explanation: "Overcome" is a more formal alternative to "shattered" while maintaining the meaning of surpassing obstacles.

  16. "privilege of acquiring knowledge" -> "opportunity to acquire knowledge"
    Explanation: Substituting "privilege" with "opportunity" maintains formality and is more aligned with academic writing.

  17. "Financial or geographical constraints" -> "Financial and geographical constraints"
    Explanation: Correcting the conjunction to "and" ensures grammatical accuracy.

  18. "democratization of learning" -> "democratization of education"
    Explanation: While "learning" is not incorrect, "education" is a more precise term in the context of academic discourse.

  19. "fostered the emergence of innovative teaching and learning methodologies" -> "fostered the development of innovative teaching and learning methodologies"
    Explanation: Replacing "emergence" with "development" maintains a formal tone and accurately reflects the process of innovation.

  20. "adept and adaptable" -> "skilled and adaptable"
    Explanation: Substituting "adept" with "skilled" maintains formality, and the pairing "skilled and adaptable" is more academically appropriate.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing the improvements in healthcare and education that contribute to a better quality of life in the 21st century. The response maintains an appropriate format throughout, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
    • How to improve: While the essay generally covers all parts of the prompt, some sections could be further developed. For instance, more specific examples or data could be incorporated to enhance the depth of analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear, well-developed, and consistent position throughout. The stance that life in the 21st century is vastly superior due to advancements in healthcare and education is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
    • How to improve: No specific improvement is needed for this criterion; however, continuing to provide nuanced perspectives and additional insights could further strengthen the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It provides relevant examples and details to support the argument, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic. The discussion on healthcare and education is extended and well-supported.
    • How to improve: To further enhance this criterion, the essay could incorporate a wider range of examples or explore potential counterarguments and rebuttals, adding depth to the analysis.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic, addressing the prompt without significant deviations. The focus on healthcare and education, as related to the improvement in the quality of life, is well-maintained.
    • How to improve: To improve, ensure that each point made in the essay is directly tied to the prompt. While the essay is generally focused, being more explicit in linking each paragraph to the overall argument can enhance cohesion.

Overall Comments:
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position and providing comprehensive support for the argument. To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples, exploring potential counterarguments, and ensuring a direct link between each paragraph and the overall argument. Additionally, paying attention to sentence structure and word choice can enhance the overall quality of expression. Overall, a strong response demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mostly coherent arrangement of ideas with a clear overall structure. Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect (healthcare and education) contributing to the improved quality of life. However, there are instances where the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing healthcare advancements to the transformative impact of education could benefit from a more explicit transitional sentence to enhance the overall logical flow.
    • How to improve: To strengthen logical organization, consider using transitional sentences that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through the essay and ensures a seamless transition between different aspects of the argument.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs generally effective paragraphing, with mostly logical sequencing of ideas within each paragraph. Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the argument, facilitating clarity and readability. However, there are instances where the sequencing could be refined for even greater coherence. For instance, within the paragraph discussing healthcare advancements, a more structured progression of ideas could enhance the overall effectiveness.
    • How to improve: Focus on maintaining a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by a structured progression of supporting ideas. Ensure a smooth flow of information within paragraphs to enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay’s structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a flexible use of cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. There is a variety of linking words and phrases employed, such as "moreover" and "consequently," which aids in connecting ideas between sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more precise. For example, ensuring a clearer connection between the discussion of healthcare advancements and the subsequent shift to education would strengthen overall cohesion.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the precise use of cohesive devices, ensuring that they explicitly connect ideas and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. Use transition words strategically to guide the reader through the logical progression of arguments.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid organizational structure and effective use of cohesive devices, there is room for improvement in enhancing the smoothness of transitions between ideas and refining the sequencing within paragraphs. Implementing these suggestions can contribute to a more cohesive and logically organized essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, with a varied and sophisticated range of words used fluently. For instance, phrases like "remarkable improvement," "unprecedented advancements," and "relentless efforts" contribute to the overall richness of expression. The term "democratization of learning" showcases a nuanced understanding of the subject matter, reflecting a high level of lexical resource.
    • How to improve: While the essay excels in employing an expansive vocabulary, consider incorporating more domain-specific terminology related to healthcare and education to add precision and depth to your arguments. This could involve introducing specific medical terms or educational theories that align with your points.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes uncommon or idiomatic language, contributing to a band score of 8 in this category. Phrases such as "transformative impact," "insurmountable obstacles," and "dynamic economy" showcase a sophisticated command of language. Despite occasional complex structures, the precise use of vocabulary remains a notable strength.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision further, ensure that the use of idiomatic language aligns seamlessly with the context. Double-check the accuracy of idioms or uncommon phrases to avoid any potential inaccuracies. Also, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures to showcase an even higher level of language proficiency.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits occasional errors in spelling, but these have minimal impact on communication. Instances like "undeniably" and "vaccines" demonstrate a generally high level of spelling accuracy.
    • How to improve: While maintaining the overall accuracy, pay extra attention to commonly misspelled words. Utilize proofreading techniques, such as reading the text backward or using spelling and grammar checking tools, to catch any overlooked errors and enhance the precision of spelling.

Overall, the essay showcases a strong lexical resource, earning a band score of 8. To reach an even higher level, consider refining the precision of vocabulary and addressing minor spelling issues. Keep up the excellent work!

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: Your essay exhibits a commendable array of sentence structures, displaying fluency and variety. You skillfully employ complex sentences alongside compound structures to articulate ideas with clarity. For instance, your use of subordinate clauses ("In the last century, humanity has witnessed…") and parallel structures ("The development of new vaccines, antibiotics, and groundbreaking treatments") adds depth and sophistication to your writing.
    • How to improve: While your use of diverse structures is impressive, consider further incorporating rhetorical devices like rhetorical questions or varied types of conditional sentences to add layers to your arguments. Additionally, experimenting with inversion or emphasizing different sentence beginnings could enhance the overall impact of your writing.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: Your essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy, with minor errors that do not impede comprehension. One instance is the slight omission of an article in "substantially bolstering our immune systems." Additionally, a slight adjustment in tense consistency can further refine the overall grammatical accuracy.
    • How to improve: Focus on maintaining consistency in tense usage throughout the essay. Proofreading can help catch such minor errors, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas. Paying attention to articles (like ‘the’, ‘a’, or ‘an’) in complex sentence structures can elevate the grammatical precision of your writing.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: Your punctuation usage is generally proficient, contributing to the coherence of your essay. Commas, periods, and semicolons are appropriately employed, aiding in the clarity and flow of ideas. However, a few instances might benefit from minor adjustments, such as ensuring consistent comma usage in complex sentences or using dashes for emphatic interruptions.
    • How to improve: Practice using punctuation for heightened emphasis or to create deliberate pauses for effect. Consistency in comma usage, especially in longer sentences, can further refine the clarity of complex ideas. Consider employing dashes or parentheses to offset additional information within sentences for increased readability.

Your essay showcases a strong command of language, with nuanced structures and well-executed grammar. Focusing on minor tweaks in tense consistency and article usage while experimenting with varied punctuation techniques can elevate your writing to an even higher level of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

Undoubtedly, the quality of life has seen a remarkable enhancement when compared to past centuries. From a broader perspective, life is significantly superior for most individuals in the world today, primarily due to the widespread availability of improved healthcare and education.

In the last century, humanity witnessed remarkable progress in healthcare. In the past, diseases like smallpox, malaria, or measles posed significant threats to human life. Limited disease prevention measures and medical research left individuals susceptible to these life-threatening diseases. However, dedicated efforts of scientists and medical professionals have transformed our capability to fight diseases. Groundbreaking treatments and the development of new vaccines and antibiotics have substantially enhanced our immune systems. While these medical advancements are sometimes associated with a considerable cost, they undeniably saved innumerable lives globally.

Moreover, the profound impact of education on individuals’ well-being cannot be overstated. Access to education has expanded significantly in this century, overcoming previous barriers. The opportunity to acquire knowledge is now more widespread. Financial and geographical constraints no longer hinder education significantly. This democratization of education has fostered the development of innovative teaching and learning methodologies. It has helped create a more skilled and adaptable workforce, equipping individuals with essential skills necessary for today’s dynamic economy.

In conclusion, the availability of improved healthcare and the expansion of education have undoubtedly led to a significant improvement in people’s well-being today.

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