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People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People hold divergent opinions on the twenty-first century that there are unprecedented upgrades in living standards, while others oppose this idea. Despite the rapid advancement of socio-economic, I am inclined to the latter point of views due to the emergence of hazardous disease strains and environment issues

On the one hand, it is concluded that people enjoy a superb life in terms of medicine and technology. The primary reason is that the development of healthcare has led to medications and surgical procedures for various diseases which were incurable in the past. Take HIV/AIDS as an example, people in the previous two decades could only live several years after a positive diagnosis, but currently, by taking periodic treatments, they can continue their normal life. Additionally, it is technological advancements that revolutionize humans’ life. Progress in communication and transportation has facilitated global connectivity and travel. People can connect with friends and family across borders, and travel to different parts of the world without any arduousness and time-consuming.

On the other hand, advocates emphasize the reverse due to diseases and pollution. Although scientific advancements and breakthroughs have brought remedies for many diseases, we are now facing more fatal ailments which continuously threaten the international population and challenge the healthcare system. The COVID-19 pandemic, for example, has caused millions of deaths, deteriorated global health, and disrupted normal life in most countries. Moreover, human beings are suffering a bizarre level of pollution, which jeopardizes not only people but also animals and plants. Our ancestors in the past, by contrast, could breathe freely in the fresh air without a facemask and consume vegetables and fruit which are not contaminated by excessive pesticides and preservatives.

In conclusion, although it is apparent that there are undeniable bright sides such as modern medical treatments and accessibility of technology, I am in favor of the opinion that the modern era holds more demerits than mankind's expectation in terms of dangerous illnesses and pollution problems. It is advisable for people to be more aware and act effectively in preserving and developing the country, thereby protecting their lives and those of their future descendants.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "people hold divergent opinions" -> "individuals hold differing viewpoints"
    Explanation: Replacing "people hold divergent opinions" with "individuals hold differing viewpoints" adds a more formal tone to the sentence and uses more precise vocabulary.

  2. "upgrades in living standards" -> "improvements in living standards"
    Explanation: "Upgrades" is a bit informal; "improvements" is a more appropriate term for academic writing.

  3. "the emergence of hazardous disease strains" -> "the emergence of virulent disease strains"
    Explanation: "Hazardous" is somewhat informal; "virulent" is a more precise and academic term.

  4. "superb life" -> "high quality of life"
    Explanation: "Superb" is informal; "high quality of life" is a more appropriate choice for academic writing.

  5. "periodic treatments" -> "regular treatments"
    Explanation: "Periodic" is less formal; "regular" is a suitable alternative.

  6. "revolutionize humans’ life" -> "transform human existence"
    Explanation: "Revolutionize" is a bit informal; "transform" is a more academically appropriate term.

  7. "arduousness" -> "difficulty"
    Explanation: "Arduousness" is somewhat formal and less commonly used; "difficulty" is a simpler and more appropriate word choice.

  8. "advocates emphasize the reverse" -> "advocates highlight the opposite perspective"
    Explanation: "Emphasize the reverse" is somewhat informal; "highlight the opposite perspective" is more academically suitable.

  9. "we are now facing more fatal ailments" -> "we are now confronted with more lethal diseases"
    Explanation: "Fatal ailments" is less formal; "lethal diseases" is a more appropriate choice.

  10. "a bizarre level of pollution" -> "an alarming level of pollution"
    Explanation: "Bizarre" is informal and does not accurately convey the severity of the issue; "alarming" is a better fit for academic writing.

  11. "jeopardizes not only people but also animals and plants" -> "endangers not only human beings but also the flora and fauna"
    Explanation: This replacement maintains a formal tone and uses more precise vocabulary.

  12. "could breathe freely in the fresh air without a facemask" -> "could breathe unpolluted air without the need for facemasks"
    Explanation: This change clarifies the statement and maintains formality.

  13. "preserving and developing the country" -> "preserving and advancing society"
    Explanation: "Preserving and developing the country" is somewhat informal and could be broad; "preserving and advancing society" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8
    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses all parts of the question by discussing both sides of the argument. It acknowledges the advancements in living standards in the 21st century and also highlights the challenges, such as hazardous diseases and environmental issues. The essay effectively presents a balanced view.
    • How to improve: To further improve in this aspect, the essay could provide more specific examples of hazardous diseases and environmental problems in the 21st century to strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 9
    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It clearly states the author’s viewpoint that the modern era has more drawbacks due to diseases and pollution. This stance is evident from the beginning to the end of the essay.
    • How to improve: No specific improvement is needed in this aspect; the essay effectively presents a clear position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 9
    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It provides detailed explanations of both the positive aspects (medical advancements, technological progress) and negative aspects (disease strains, pollution) of the 21st century. Specific examples, such as HIV/AIDS and the COVID-19 pandemic, are used to support the arguments.
    • How to improve: The essay could further enhance the presentation of ideas by providing more statistics or data to support the claims about disease prevalence and pollution levels in the 21st century.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 8
    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic and discusses the quality of life in the 21st century compared to previous centuries. It addresses the key points of healthcare, technology, diseases, and pollution. However, there are minor deviations, such as the mention of "connecting with friends and family across borders" in the second paragraph, which could be more directly related to the topic.
    • How to improve: To stay more focused, the essay should ensure that all points discussed directly relate to the quality of life in the 21st century and its comparison to previous centuries.

Overall, this essay provides a well-structured and balanced response to the prompt, effectively presenting arguments for and against the statement. To improve, it can include more specific examples and statistics to strengthen its points and maintain a more consistent focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization with a clear progression throughout. The introduction sets up the argument, and each body paragraph discusses a different aspect of the topic. There is a clear transition from discussing the advantages of the 21st century to the disadvantages.
    • How to improve: While the logical progression is evident, you can enhance it further by adding clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph. This will provide a more explicit roadmap for the reader, making it easier to follow your argument.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs, providing a clear structure and logical idea sequencing. Each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the topic, and there is a seamless transition between them.
    • How to improve: No significant improvements are needed in this aspect. However, make sure to maintain this level of paragraphing consistency in future essays.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay skillfully uses cohesive devices with occasional lapses. You effectively employ linking words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain coherence throughout the essay. Examples of cohesive devices include "on the one hand," "on the other hand," "although," and "in conclusion."
    • How to improve: To reach a Band 9 level, work on reducing the "occasional lapses" in the use of cohesive devices. Ensure that each sentence flows seamlessly into the next, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, contributing to its Band 7 score. To improve further, focus on refining the logical flow by incorporating clear topic sentences and polishing the use of cohesive devices for a more seamless reading experience.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary in some instances. For example, it includes words like "unprecedented," "superb," "arduousness," and "merits." These words enhance the depth of expression and demonstrate an attempt to use a broad vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To further improve in this aspect, try incorporating a wider variety of advanced vocabulary throughout the essay. Consider using more sophisticated synonyms and exploring nuanced vocabulary choices. This will elevate your essay’s lexical richness and overall quality.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally conveys its meaning clearly, but there are instances where vocabulary usage could be more precise. For example, the phrase "by contrast" is used to compare the past with the present, but it could be replaced with a more specific transitional phrase.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, pay attention to word choice in every sentence. Ensure that each word you use contributes directly to your intended meaning. Consider using synonyms that better convey the specific nuances of your ideas.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of spelling accuracy. There are no major spelling errors, and any minor issues do not significantly impact communication.
    • How to improve: Continue practicing spelling to maintain this level of accuracy. Proofread your work carefully to catch any potential errors, no matter how minor, to ensure flawless spelling.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a solid level of vocabulary usage, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Keep practicing and refining your vocabulary skills to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. It effectively employs various sentence types, such as declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences. For example, the author uses conditional sentences like "Although scientific advancements and breakthroughs have brought remedies for many diseases" to introduce contrasting ideas. However, there’s room for improvement in sentence variety. More use of compound and compound-complex sentences could further enhance the essay’s complexity and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, try incorporating more compound and compound-complex sentences. These can be particularly useful when presenting complex arguments or elaborating on ideas.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains accurate grammar throughout, with only occasional minor errors. For instance, the phrase "I am inclined to the latter point of views" could be improved by saying, "I am inclined to the latter point of view," as "views" should be singular in this context. Additionally, in the sentence, "Although scientific advancements and breakthroughs have brought remedies for many diseases," the word "breakthroughs" should be singular as it follows "advancements." These are minor errors that do not significantly affect the overall understanding of the essay.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and singular/plural forms when constructing sentences. Proofread for minor errors like these to further improve grammatical accuracy.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates well-controlled punctuation. Commas are appropriately used to separate clauses, such as in the sentence, "Despite the rapid advancement of socio-economic, I am inclined to the latter point of views due to the emergence of hazardous disease strains and environment issues." However, there are some minor punctuation issues, like missing commas before coordinating conjunctions in compound sentences. For example, in the sentence, "The COVID-19 pandemic, for example, has caused millions of deaths, deteriorated global health, and disrupted normal life in most countries," a comma should be placed before "and" to separate the elements of the list properly.
    • How to improve: Continue practicing the use of commas in compound sentences to ensure clarity and readability. Pay attention to proper punctuation when connecting related clauses or listing items in a series.

Overall, the essay is well-structured, coherent, and generally free from major grammatical and punctuation errors. To further enhance its grammatical range and accuracy, the author should focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and proofreading carefully for minor errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have varying opinions about life in the 21st century compared to previous centuries. Some believe that there have been significant improvements in living standards, while others disagree. I am inclined to the latter viewpoint, mainly due to the emergence of virulent disease strains and environmental issues.

On one hand, it is undeniable that people today enjoy a high quality of life when it comes to healthcare and technology. The primary reason for this is the advancements in healthcare, which have resulted in effective treatments and surgical procedures for diseases that were once considered incurable. For instance, consider HIV/AIDS; just a couple of decades ago, individuals diagnosed with this disease had a life expectancy of only a few years. However, with regular treatments now available, they can lead relatively normal lives. Additionally, technological progress has revolutionized the way we live. Advances in communication and transportation have made it easier for people to connect with friends and family worldwide and travel to different parts of the globe without much difficulty.

On the other hand, advocates highlight the opposite perspective due to the emergence of more lethal diseases and an alarming level of pollution. Despite the scientific breakthroughs that have brought remedies for many diseases, we are now confronted with more lethal diseases that continuously pose a threat to the global population and put a strain on healthcare systems. The COVID-19 pandemic, for example, has resulted in millions of deaths, disrupted global health, and significantly affected everyday life in most countries. Moreover, an alarming level of pollution endangers not only human beings but also the flora and fauna. In contrast, our ancestors in the past could breathe unpolluted air without the need for facemasks and consume vegetables and fruits that were not contaminated by excessive pesticides and preservatives.

In conclusion, while there are undeniable benefits such as modern medical treatments and easy access to technology, I tend to agree that the modern era comes with more drawbacks than anticipated, particularly in terms of dangerous diseases and pollution. It is advisable for individuals to be more aware and take effective actions to preserve and advance society, thereby safeguarding their own lives and the lives of future generations.

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