People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, majority of people believe that the quality of life in the 21st century is far better than it was in the past. To this opinion, I completely agree with it as the unparalleled advancements in technology and society welfare have significantly elevated our way of living.
There are variety of reasons for the enhancement of our life quality, including the significant ones of the unprecedented progress in health care and the forward movement of digital technology. Regarding the former, modern medical innovations have not only extend life-expectancy but also improve quality of life through effective treatments and preventive care. For example, old days, people with cancer can’t get over it, but now with the advancements in medical technology, drastically reducing the mortality rate of these ailment, lowering recovery times and improving outcomes. These medical breakthroughs, unavailable in previous centuries, have provided us a level of health and well-being that was previously unimaginable.
Moreover, the digital revolution has fundamentally transformed our daily lives, marking the significant improvements over past centuries. The internet and smartphones have democratized access to information, connecting people across the global and empowering them with knowledge and resources. It lead to an informed and engaging society, allow people making better decisions for their live and also personal professions. For instance, the convenience and efficiency brought about by these technology tools such as online banking, e-commerce, and telecommuting have significantly raise our standard of living, making everyday tasks more manageable and less time-consuming.
In conclusion, the 21st century offers a superior quality of life, primarily thanks to groundbreaking advancements in healthcare and transformative impact of digital technology. These betterments have not only prolonged our life-span but also enriched our experiences, making modern life become more suitable and connected than ever before.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Today, majority of people" -> "Today, most people"
Explanation: "Majority of people" is redundant; "most people" is more concise and maintains the intended meaning.
"the quality of life in the 21st century is far better" -> "the quality of life in the 21st century is significantly better"
Explanation: "Far better" is somewhat informal and vague; "significantly better" is more precise and academically appropriate.
"To this opinion, I completely agree with it" -> "I fully concur with this opinion"
Explanation: "To this opinion, I completely agree with it" is awkwardly phrased and informal. "I fully concur with this opinion" is more formal and flows better in academic writing.
"unparalleled advancements" -> "unparalleled advancements"
Explanation: No change needed as the phrase is correct and formal.
"society welfare" -> "social welfare"
Explanation: "Society welfare" is incorrect; "social welfare" is the correct term.
"variety of reasons" -> "various reasons"
Explanation: "Variety of" is grammatically incorrect in this context; "various" is the correct adverbial form.
"the significant ones of the unprecedented progress" -> "significant aspects of the unprecedented progress"
Explanation: "The significant ones of" is awkward and unclear; "significant aspects of" is clearer and more formal.
"extend life-expectancy" -> "extend life expectancy"
Explanation: "Life-expectancy" should be hyphenated as it is a compound noun.
"old days" -> "former times"
Explanation: "Old days" is informal and vague; "former times" is more precise and formal.
"can’t get over it" -> "could not overcome"
Explanation: "Can’t" is too informal and colloquial; "could not overcome" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"drastically reducing the mortality rate of these ailment" -> "drastically reducing the mortality rate of these ailments"
Explanation: "Ailment" should be pluralized to "ailments" to match the plural context.
"lowering recovery times and improving outcomes" -> "reducing recovery times and improving outcomes"
Explanation: "Lowering" is less precise; "reducing" is more commonly used in formal contexts to describe decreases.
"It lead to" -> "This leads to"
Explanation: "It" is incorrect; "This" is the correct pronoun to refer back to the preceding clause.
"allow people making better decisions for their live" -> "enable individuals to make better decisions for their lives"
Explanation: "Allow people making" is awkward and informal; "enable individuals to make" is more formal and grammatically correct.
"significantly raise our standard of living" -> "significantly elevate our standard of living"
Explanation: "Raise" is less formal; "elevate" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.
"making everyday tasks more manageable and less time-consuming" -> "making everyday tasks more manageable and less time-intensive"
Explanation: "Time-consuming" is correct but "time-intensive" is more precise and formal, fitting better in an academic context.
"making modern life become more suitable and connected than ever before" -> "making modern life more suitable and connected than ever before"
Explanation: Removing "become" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with the passive voice used in the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the author’s agreement with the notion that the quality of life in the 21st century is superior to that of previous centuries. The introduction sets the stage for this argument, and the body paragraphs provide substantial evidence to support this viewpoint, particularly focusing on advancements in healthcare and technology. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of potential counterarguments or nuances in the discussion, which would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could consider briefly mentioning some challenges or drawbacks of modern life, such as mental health issues or environmental concerns, to present a more balanced view. This would not only address all parts of the question more comprehensively but also showcase critical thinking.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the claim that life quality has improved in the 21st century. The use of phrases like "I completely agree" and "these betterments" reinforces the author’s stance. The logical flow of ideas contributes to the clarity of the position, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the author could strengthen it by explicitly linking back to the main argument in the conclusion. A more robust reiteration of the stance in the conclusion would reinforce the position and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the discussion of healthcare advancements and digital technology. Specific examples, such as the mention of cancer treatment advancements and the impact of the internet, illustrate the points well. However, some ideas could be more fully developed; for instance, the discussion on digital technology could include more specific examples or statistics to further substantiate the claims made.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples or data to support claims. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics regarding life expectancy improvements or the percentage of people using digital tools would enhance the credibility of the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing relevant aspects of quality of life in the 21st century. The author does not deviate from the main argument, which is commendable. However, there are minor instances where the phrasing could be more precise, such as "the forward movement of digital technology," which could be streamlined to maintain clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and enhance clarity, the author should ensure that all phrases are concise and directly related to the argument. Additionally, avoiding vague terms like "variety of reasons" could help in presenting a more focused discussion. Instead, the author could specify the reasons upfront to guide the reader more effectively.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in addressing counterarguments, providing more detailed examples, and refining language for clarity, the essay could achieve an even higher score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that supports the claim that the quality of life in the 21st century is superior to that of previous centuries. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs are organized around two main points: advancements in healthcare and the impact of digital technology. Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. However, while the overall structure is logical, there are moments where transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing healthcare advancements to digital technology could be more explicit to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing healthcare advancements, a sentence like "In addition to healthcare, technological innovations have also played a crucial role in improving our quality of life" could help bridge the two main points more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific reasons supporting the thesis, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer internal organization. The ideas about the digital revolution and its effects are somewhat jumbled, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear internal organization. Start with a strong topic sentence, followed by a logical progression of ideas. For example, within the digital technology paragraph, you could first discuss the democratization of information, then move on to specific examples of how this impacts daily life, and conclude with a statement about the overall effect on quality of life.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "For example," and "In conclusion," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "These medical breakthroughs, unavailable in previous centuries" could be better connected to the preceding sentence to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases such as "Additionally," "Furthermore," "Consequently," and "On the other hand." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence in the argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By refining the logical flow between paragraphs, enhancing internal organization within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "unparalleled advancements," "significant improvements," and "groundbreaking advancements" effectively conveying complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as "quality of life," which appears multiple times without variation. This limits the lexical diversity expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeating "quality of life," alternatives like "standard of living," "life experience," or "well-being" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to technology and healthcare could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the forward movement of digital technology" could be more accurately expressed as "the rapid advancement of digital technology." Additionally, the phrase "allow people making better decisions for their live" contains grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, which can detract from clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choice for clarity and precision. For example, revise "allow people making better decisions for their live" to "enabling individuals to make better decisions in their lives." Furthermore, ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and convey the intended meaning without ambiguity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy overall, but there are a few errors, such as "majority of people" (should be "the majority of people") and "can’t get over it" (which is informal and could be replaced with "could not survive it"). The use of "live" instead of "lives" is another example of a spelling error that affects clarity.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading step before finalizing the essay. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that may be overlooked when reading silently. Additionally, practicing common spelling rules and maintaining a list of frequently misspelled words can aid in reducing such mistakes in future writing.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 7 for Lexical Resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring correct spelling, the essay can reach a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "modern medical innovations have not only extend life-expectancy but also improve quality of life through effective treatments and preventive care" showcases a compound structure effectively. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "the significant ones of the unprecedented progress in health care" could be restructured for clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "the digital revolution has fundamentally transformed our daily lives," you could say, "While the digital revolution has fundamentally transformed our daily lives, it has also introduced new challenges that we must navigate." This not only adds complexity but also depth to your argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar and punctuation, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For instance, "majority of people" should be "the majority of people," and "extend life-expectancy" should be "extended life expectancy." Additionally, the phrase "but now with the advancements in medical technology, drastically reducing the mortality rate of these ailment" lacks a clear subject and verb agreement, as "these ailment" should be "these ailments." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before "but" in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing sentence construction and ensuring that each sentence has a clear subject and verb will also help. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. For example, revising "For example, old days, people with cancer can’t get over it" to "For example, in the old days, people with cancer could not overcome the disease" would improve both grammatical accuracy and clarity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and correcting grammatical errors will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Today, the majority of people believe that the quality of life in the 21st century is far better than it was in previous centuries. I fully concur with this opinion, as the unparalleled advancements in technology and social welfare have significantly elevated our way of living.

There are various reasons for the enhancement of our quality of life, including significant aspects of the unprecedented progress in healthcare and the forward movement of digital technology. Regarding the former, modern medical innovations have not only extended life expectancy but also improved quality of life through effective treatments and preventive care. For example, in former times, people with cancer could not overcome the disease, but now, with advancements in medical technology, we are drastically reducing the mortality rate of these ailments, lowering recovery times and improving outcomes. These medical breakthroughs, which were unavailable in previous centuries, have provided us with a level of health and well-being that was previously unimaginable.

Moreover, the digital revolution has fundamentally transformed our daily lives, marking significant improvements over past centuries. The internet and smartphones have democratized access to information, connecting people across the globe and empowering them with knowledge and resources. This leads to an informed and engaged society, enabling individuals to make better decisions for their lives and personal professions. For instance, the convenience and efficiency brought about by these technological tools, such as online banking, e-commerce, and telecommuting, have significantly raised our standard of living, making everyday tasks more manageable and less time-intensive.

In conclusion, the 21st century offers a superior quality of life, primarily thanks to groundbreaking advancements in healthcare and the transformative impact of digital technology. These improvements have not only prolonged our lifespan but also enriched our experiences, making modern life more suitable and connected than ever before.