People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?
People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?
In the light of fast-paced world, students’ curriculum has changed radically throughout the time to match with the current demand and suitability. Because of this, the decision on which courses should be remained has always a topic of debate. It is believed that devoting time and effort to study literature in high school is ineffective and unnecessary.
It is understandable why people subscribe to the view that having literature classes is not a necessity to children from ninth to twelfth grades. The key rationale in favor of this view is that the provided knowledge from this class does not give a hand in helping students to deal with problems in the real world context, as the bulk of this information is indeed obsolete and abstract to people at a younger age. However, this thinking is short-sighted, as the knowledge attached to literature can provide children several new aspects in their growing mindset. For example, many of past love poems in Vietnamese curriculum helped teenagers to acknowledge another viewpoint in terms of former marriages when many girls were forced to stay in arranged marriages, which is quite an alien culture compared to the present.
I am of the opinion that literature classes should be remained in high school learners’ curriculum. Reading a wide array of novels and poems in different areas can advance the writing skill as well as their vocabulary in academic terms. For instance, the writing skill is a boon to applying for higher education since students are required to hand in a personal statement. This is a testament to the necessity of learning literature class at school.
In conclusion, while there are some justifications for considering literature time-consuming and unnecessary, it is my conviction that high school students will derive the best benefits from having a good grasp of this subject.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"students’ curriculum" -> "the curriculum for students"
Explanation: Using "the curriculum for students" is more formal and precise than the possessive form, aligning with academic style. -
"has changed radically throughout the time" -> "has undergone significant changes over time"
Explanation: "Undergone significant changes over time" is a more formal expression that avoids colloquial language, enhancing the academic tone. -
"which courses should be remained" -> "which courses should remain"
Explanation: The correct verb form is "remain" rather than "be remained." This change maintains grammatical accuracy. -
"devoting time and effort to study literature" -> "devoting time and effort to studying literature"
Explanation: Using the gerund form "studying" is grammatically correct and aligns with academic language conventions. -
"does not give a hand in helping students" -> "does not contribute to helping students"
Explanation: "Contribute to helping students" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea. -
"bulk of this information is indeed obsolete and abstract" -> "the majority of this information is obsolete and abstract"
Explanation: Replacing "bulk" with "the majority" maintains formality, and removing "indeed" streamlines the sentence without sacrificing meaning. -
"quite an alien culture compared to the present" -> "a culture quite alien compared to the present"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for better flow and using "a culture quite alien" maintains formality. -
"I am of the opinion that" -> "I contend that"
Explanation: "I contend that" is a more formal and concise expression of expressing one’s opinion. -
"wide array of novels and poems in different areas" -> "a diverse selection of novels and poems across various genres"
Explanation: "A diverse selection of novels and poems across various genres" provides a more detailed and formal description. -
"advance the writing skill" -> "enhance writing skills"
Explanation: Using the plural form "skills" is more accurate, and "enhance" is a more sophisticated term than "advance." -
"this is a testament to the necessity" -> "this underscores the necessity"
Explanation: "Underscores the necessity" is a more formal and precise phrase than "is a testament to the necessity." -
"derive the best benefits" -> "derive optimal benefits"
Explanation: "Derive optimal benefits" is a more formal and precise expression, avoiding redundancy with the word "best."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally addresses the question by discussing both sides of the argument. However, it could provide a more nuanced analysis of why people consider literature unnecessary and elaborate on the benefits of literature education. For instance, it briefly mentions the belief that literature does not help with real-world problems, but the explanation is limited.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay should delve deeper into the reasons some people view literature as unnecessary, providing a more comprehensive analysis. Additionally, expanding on the benefits of literature education, beyond just writing skills, would strengthen the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position in favor of keeping literature classes in high school. The stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion, providing a consistent thread throughout the essay.
- How to improve: The essay excels in this criterion; however, to further enhance clarity, the writer could explicitly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas coherently and supports them with examples. For instance, it offers a specific example of how love poems in the Vietnamese curriculum provide a unique perspective on arranged marriages. However, some points lack thorough development, and the essay could benefit from more varied examples.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should expand on supporting examples, providing more details and possibly exploring a broader range of literary examples to reinforce the argument. This would strengthen the overall development of ideas.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, addressing the relevance of literature in high school education. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes somewhat tangential, such as the mention of the fast-paced world and the changing curriculum in the introduction.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid introducing tangential points that do not directly contribute to the argument. Every point made should relate explicitly to the question of whether literature is a waste of time for high school students.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and effectively argues in favor of keeping literature classes in high schools. To improve, the writer should deepen the analysis of opposing views, explicitly state their position in the introduction and conclusion, provide more developed examples, and avoid introducing tangential points.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets the stage by addressing the evolving curriculum and the debate over literature classes. The body paragraphs present a balanced discussion of opposing views, and the conclusion reinforces the writer’s stance. However, there is room for improvement in the transition between ideas, as some shifts feel abrupt. For instance, the transition from discussing the rationale against literature classes to presenting a counterargument could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to guide readers through shifts in focus. For example, using phrases like "On the contrary" or "However" can signal a change in perspective and improve the overall coherence.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, there is a slight imbalance in paragraph lengths. The introduction and conclusion are concise, while some body paragraphs could benefit from a more balanced structure.
- How to improve: Aim for a consistent paragraph length to ensure a more even distribution of information. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and make the essay more visually appealing.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words ("because," "however") and pronouns ("this," "it"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence by connecting ideas within sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are used, there is potential to diversify their types further. Introduce a wider range of transitional phrases, such as "on the other hand," "in addition," or "conversely," to add nuance and clarity to the relationships between ideas. This will enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles. Improvements in transitions, paragraph length consistency, and the diversification of cohesive devices will further elevate the organization and clarity of the writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is an attempt to use diverse words, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of vocabulary. For instance, phrases like "key rationale" and "this thinking is short-sighted" contribute to a nuanced expression of ideas, but more advanced vocabulary choices could elevate the essay’s lexical richness.
- How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range, consider incorporating more advanced and contextually appropriate synonyms. For example, instead of "key rationale," one might use "fundamental justification." Additionally, exploring more intricate vocabulary related to the essay’s themes could contribute to a more sophisticated language use.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where word choices could be more precise. For example, the phrase "acknowledge another viewpoint" might benefit from a more specific term, such as "gain insights into alternative perspectives."
- How to improve: Be mindful of the specific meanings conveyed by chosen words. Consider whether a more precise term can be used to capture the intended nuance. Utilize a thesaurus or engage in targeted vocabulary-building exercises to enhance precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout, contributing to overall clarity. However, there are a few instances where minor errors are present, such as "hand in" (hyphenation: hand-in) and "time-consuming" (hyphenation: time consuming).
- How to improve: Pay closer attention to hyphenation rules and common compound words. Proofread systematically to catch and correct minor spelling errors. Utilize spelling tools available in word processing software to enhance accuracy.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates competence in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary variety, precision, and attention to minor spelling details. Strengthening these aspects will contribute to a more sophisticated and refined expression of ideas.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and compound sentences with some attempts at complex structures. For example, there is variation between basic sentences ("It is understandable why people subscribe to the view…") and more complex ones ("For instance, many of past love poems in Vietnamese curriculum helped teenagers…"). However, the essay could benefit from a more diverse range of complex sentence structures, including the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varied transitions to enhance coherence and complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, strive to incorporate more complex sentences. Utilize relative clauses to add detail and depth to ideas ("The poems, which were part of the Vietnamese curriculum, offered insights…"). Incorporate conditional sentences to express hypothetical situations or viewpoints. Additionally, ensure coherence by using transitional phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and create a more sophisticated flow.
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Use Grammar Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are some instances where articles (‘a’, ‘an’, ‘the’) are either missing or incorrectly used ("Reading a wide array of novels and poems in different areas can advance the writing skill…"). Subject-verb agreement is generally maintained, but there are occasional lapses ("literature classes should be remained" should be "should remain"). There are also a few instances where prepositions are used incorrectly ("the provided knowledge from this class does not give a hand in helping students").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay attention to the proper use of articles (‘a’, ‘an’, ‘the’), especially in contexts where specificity is required. Review subject-verb agreement, especially with compound subjects or complex sentence structures. Focus on the correct usage of prepositions to ensure clarity and precision in expressing ideas.
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Use Correct Punctuation:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs correct punctuation; however, there are occasional errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("For example, many of past love poems in Vietnamese curriculum helped teenagers to acknowledge another viewpoint…"). Additionally, there’s a lack of variety in punctuation usage, with an overreliance on basic punctuation marks like commas and periods, which limits the essay’s expressive range.
- How to improve: To refine punctuation skills, focus on using commas appropriately in complex sentences to aid readability and clarity. Explore the use of semicolons and colons to add variety and sophistication to sentence structures. Additionally, consider employing dashes or parentheses to set off supplementary information or emphasize certain points. Practice incorporating a wider range of punctuation marks to enhance the essay’s expressiveness and coherence.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in grammatical range and accuracy, improving the variety and complexity of sentence structures, refining grammatical accuracy, and diversifying punctuation usage can further elevate the quality of the writing and potentially raise the band score in this criterion.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the context of our rapidly changing world, the school curriculum has undergone significant changes over time to meet current demands. Deciding which courses should remain has been a topic of ongoing debate. Some argue that dedicating time and effort to studying literature, such as novels and poems, in high school is ineffective and unnecessary.
It’s understandable why people might hold the belief that literature classes are dispensable for students in the ninth to twelfth grades. The main reasoning behind this viewpoint is that the knowledge gained from these classes may not directly assist students in dealing with real-world problems. Much of the information presented in literature classes can seem outdated and abstract to young minds. However, this perspective overlooks the broader benefits that literature education can offer to young learners. For instance, exploring past love poems in the Vietnamese curriculum has allowed teenagers to appreciate different perspectives, particularly regarding historical practices like arranged marriages, a culture quite alien compared to the present.
I firmly contend that literature classes should retain their place in high school curricula. Engaging with a diverse selection of novels and poems from various genres can notably enhance students’ writing skills and academic vocabulary. This underscores the necessity of including literature in their studies. For instance, improved writing skills are advantageous when applying for higher education, where students are often required to submit a personal statement. This demonstrates the practical relevance of studying literature in school.
In conclusion, while there are valid arguments against considering literature as time-consuming and unnecessary, it remains my conviction that high school students derive optimal benefits from gaining a solid understanding of this subject.
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