People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some individuals tend to focus on a single skill for life. This is because they suppose that it is the best to be succeed in your life. Personally, I don’t agree this view. We must be self-developing each day, to become perfect person. For me, a single skill is not enough. We should update, upgrade ourself. Below I will discuss and do clearly this matter.

Firstly, technical society become more and more popular, when you just concentrate on one skill which is also your best skill, after that day, you will be poor knowledge as well as low technology. For instance, in education, especially Ielts examinations, you just focus on unique skill is speaking, other skills you do not practice, I wonder if you can pass your exam with goals which you want before. In career, suppose that that factory requires a worker who has proficient technological skills but you only know how to do it manually. This is because, you don’t cultivate yourself. If you want to comprehensive development, you must practice more, cultivate day by day. Besides, nowadays, robot could replace human primary jobs. You need to be fully equipped skills more than robot can do such as technology skills can manage them. To do thing, you should update yourself every day, improve thinking ability.
Secondly, you could be lack of other skills. Furthermore, you could not communicate with people. It is sure that learning is never enough. You should explore new destinations, and new friends, new experience during the road practice. Moreover, you also accumulate knowledge to serve for study if you are being student, for career if you are being employee. According to practicing, your health is also better thankful to do exercise skills The best way to succeed become comprehensive person has enough skills can live a perfect life. Therefore, a single skill is not enough.

In conclusion, the world always changes and you too. You must learn each day. Each experience evokes us accumulative lesson. Then the road to touch successful will become more easily.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Some individuals tend to focus on a single skill for life." -> "Some individuals tend to specialize in a single skill throughout their lives."
   Explanation: The phrase "specialize in a single skill throughout their lives" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the long-term commitment to a particular skill.

2. "they suppose that it is the best to be succeed in your life." -> "they believe that it is the best way to succeed in life."
   Explanation: "Believe" is more appropriate than "suppose," and "the best way to succeed in life" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the best to be succeed in your life."

3. "Personally, I don’t agree this view." -> "Personally, I do not agree with this view."
   Explanation: Correcting "don’t" to "do not" and adding "with" after "agree" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances formality.

4. "We must be self-developing each day, to become perfect person." -> "We must continually develop ourselves each day to become a perfect individual."
   Explanation: "Continually develop ourselves" is more precise and formal than "be self-developing," and "a perfect individual" is grammatically correct compared to "perfect person."

5. "We should update, upgrade ourself." -> "We should continually update and upgrade ourselves."
   Explanation: "Continually" is more formal than "update," and "upgrade ourselves" is grammatically correct compared to "upgrade ourself."

6. "technical society become more and more popular" -> "technological society is becoming increasingly popular"
   Explanation: "Technological society" is more accurate than "technical society," and "is becoming increasingly popular" is grammatically correct and more formal.

7. "you will be poor knowledge as well as low technology." -> "you will lack knowledge and technological expertise."
   Explanation: "Lack knowledge and technological expertise" is more precise and formal than "be poor knowledge as well as low technology."

8. "I wonder if you can pass your exam with goals which you want before." -> "I wonder if you can achieve your desired goals before the exam."
   Explanation: "Achieve your desired goals before the exam" is clearer and more formal than "pass your exam with goals which you want before."

9. "suppose that that factory requires" -> "suppose that the factory requires"
   Explanation: Removing the unnecessary "that" corrects the grammatical error and improves readability.

10. "you only know how to do it manually" -> "you are only skilled in manual methods"
    Explanation: "Skilled in manual methods" is more precise and formal than "know how to do it manually."

11. "you need to be fully equipped skills more than robot can do" -> "you need to possess skills that surpass those of robots"
    Explanation: "Possess skills that surpass those of robots" is grammatically correct and more formal than "be fully equipped skills more than robot can do."

12. "To do thing, you should update yourself every day, improve thinking ability." -> "To accomplish this, you should update yourself daily and enhance your thinking abilities."
    Explanation: "Accomplish this" is more formal than "do thing," and "enhance your thinking abilities" is grammatically correct and more precise than "improve thinking ability."

13. "you could be lack of other skills" -> "you may lack other skills"
    Explanation: "May lack" is grammatically correct and more formal than "could be lack."

14. "It is sure that learning is never enough." -> "It is certain that learning is insufficient."
    Explanation: "It is certain that learning is insufficient" is more formal and precise than "It is sure that learning is never enough."

15. "you also accumulate knowledge to serve for study if you are being student, for career if you are being employee." -> "you also accumulate knowledge to support your studies if you are a student or your career if you are an employee."
    Explanation: "Support your studies or your career" is grammatically correct and more formal than "serve for study if you are being student, for career if you are being employee."

16. "The best way to succeed become comprehensive person has enough skills can live a perfect life." -> "The best way to succeed in becoming a comprehensive person with sufficient skills is to live a perfect life."
    Explanation: "Succeed in becoming a comprehensive person with sufficient skills is to live a perfect life" corrects grammatical errors and enhances formality.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and grammar to meet the standards of academic writing, ensuring clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that one should concentrate solely on a single skill for life. The author presents arguments supporting the idea of developing multiple skills, which aligns with the task. However, the response could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic. For instance, while the essay mentions the importance of multiple skills, it does not sufficiently explore the potential benefits of specializing in one skill.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider briefly discussing the advantages of focusing on a single skill before refuting that perspective. This would provide a more balanced view and show a deeper engagement with the prompt.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The position taken in the essay is clear: the author believes that focusing on a single skill is insufficient for success. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, with consistent references to the need for comprehensive skill development. However, the clarity is sometimes undermined by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can distract from the argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should focus on refining sentence structure and grammar. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively, reinforcing the position taken.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the need for multiple skills, such as the impact of technological advancements and the importance of communication. However, some points lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of IELTS examinations could be strengthened by providing more context or details about how lacking skills in other areas affects overall performance.
  • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Each point made should be backed by specific instances or evidence that illustrate the argument, making it more persuasive and engaging.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the importance of developing multiple skills. However, there are moments where the argument becomes somewhat convoluted, particularly in the second paragraph, where the connection between points could be clearer. For example, the transition from discussing technical skills to the need for communication skills feels abrupt.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to the thesis. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main point and ensure that all subsequent sentences support that point.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, improvements in structure, clarity, and depth of analysis would enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance against the notion of focusing solely on a single skill. The introduction outlines the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs attempt to support this view with relevant arguments. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by unclear transitions and abrupt shifts in ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the importance of diverse skills in education to the impact of robots on the job market lacks a clear connective thread, which can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis statement. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single point, and a cohesive conclusion will also improve overall coherence.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but the structure within them can be improved. Each paragraph contains multiple ideas that are not always clearly delineated. For example, the first body paragraph discusses both the necessity of diverse skills in education and the workplace but does so in a way that feels somewhat jumbled. The second body paragraph introduces new ideas without sufficient development or connection to the previous points.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should focus on one main idea per paragraph. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. This will not only clarify the argument but also make it easier for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "firstly" and "secondly," to indicate the order of points. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For example, phrases like "this is because" are used repetitively, which can make the writing feel monotonous and less engaging. The lack of varied cohesive devices can detract from the overall fluency of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Moreover," "Consequently," "As a result," and "On the other hand" can help create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures and lengths can improve the overall flow and make the writing more engaging. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts will also help the writer become more adept at integrating them effectively into their essays.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of their essay, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using varied expressions. For instance, terms like "self-developing," "cultivate," and "comprehensive development" show an effort to use more sophisticated language. However, there are also instances of repetition and limited variation, such as the frequent use of "skill" and "knowledge." This limits the overall lexical richness of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "skill," they could use "competence," "ability," or "expertise." Additionally, incorporating phrases that convey similar meanings, such as "continuous learning" instead of "self-developing," would diversify the vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While there are some attempts at precise vocabulary, there are notable inaccuracies that hinder clarity. For instance, the phrase "best to be succeed" should be "best way to succeed." Additionally, "you will be poor knowledge" is awkward and unclear; a more precise expression would be "you will lack knowledge." Such imprecisions can confuse the reader and detract from the overall argument.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review their sentences for grammatical correctness and clarity. They could benefit from using tools like thesauruses or vocabulary lists to find more suitable words. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help clarify their points. For example, revising "you could be lack of other skills" to "you may lack other essential skills" would enhance clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact readability. Words such as "Ielts" (should be "IELTS"), "thankful" (should be "thanks to"), and "do thing" (should be "do things") are examples of spelling mistakes that could confuse readers and detract from the essay’s professionalism.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or quizzes. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or reading it aloud can help catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools in word processors can also assist in identifying and correcting mistakes before submission.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary and attempts to express complex ideas, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, the writer frequently uses simple sentences, such as "This is because they suppose that it is the best to be succeed in your life."While there are some compound sentences, like "If you want to comprehensive development, you must practice more, cultivate day by day," the overall variety is lacking. The use of complex structures is minimal, which restricts the depth of expression and can make the writing feel repetitive.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences. For example, combining ideas using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., "Although", "Because", "While") can create more nuanced sentences. Additionally, using relative clauses (e.g., "which", "that") can add detail and complexity. Regularly reading high-quality essays can also expose the writer to varied sentence structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from clarity. For example, "it is the best to be succeed in your life" should be "it is the best way to succeed in life." The phrase "We must be self-developing each day, to become perfect person" lacks an article before "perfect person" and should be "a perfect person." Punctuation errors are also present; for instance, commas are misused or omitted, as seen in "technical society become more and more popular, when you just concentrate on one skill," where the comma should not be there.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. For punctuation, practicing the rules for comma placement and sentence boundaries will enhance clarity. Reading aloud can also help the writer hear where pauses and breaks naturally occur, leading to better punctuation use.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing. Regular practice and exposure to well-structured writing can aid in this development.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals tend to focus on a single skill throughout their lives. This is because they believe that it is the best way to succeed in life. Personally, I do not agree with this view. We must continually develop ourselves each day to become a well-rounded individual. For me, a single skill is not sufficient. We should continually update and upgrade ourselves. Below, I will discuss this matter in detail.

Firstly, our technological society is becoming increasingly popular. If you concentrate solely on one skill, which may be your strongest, you may find that your knowledge becomes limited and your technological expertise diminishes over time. For instance, in education, particularly in IELTS examinations, if you focus exclusively on speaking while neglecting other skills, I wonder if you can achieve your desired goals before the exam. In a career context, suppose that a factory requires a worker who possesses proficient technological skills, but you are only skilled in manual methods. This is a result of not cultivating yourself adequately. To achieve comprehensive development, you must practice more and cultivate your abilities daily. Moreover, with the rise of automation, robots could replace many primary jobs. You need to possess skills that surpass those of robots, such as technological skills that enable you to manage them. To accomplish this, you should update yourself daily and enhance your thinking abilities.

Secondly, you may lack other essential skills. Furthermore, you might struggle to communicate effectively with others. It is certain that learning is insufficient on its own. You should explore new destinations, make new friends, and gain new experiences along your journey. Additionally, you also accumulate knowledge to support your studies if you are a student or your career if you are an employee. Through practice, your health can also improve, thanks to engaging in physical activities. The best way to succeed in becoming a comprehensive person with sufficient skills is to live a fulfilling life. Therefore, a single skill is not enough.

In conclusion, the world is constantly changing, and so must you. You must learn each day. Each experience provides us with valuable lessons. Thus, the path to achieving success will become more accessible.