Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions?

The issue of environmental damage and protection most draws attention from worldwide and people are encouraged to reduce the consumption of energy in their daily lives. Despite that, many do not want to change their habits as they have difficulties in adapting to the new lifestyle which is not as convenient as they did before. These problems can be attributed to several factors and this essay will suggest viable solutions to remedy the situation.
Staying unchanged in the habits of most people in their lives can stem from two main reasons. Chief of these is the profound influence of automation. In today’s modern era, most household chores choose to use automotive machines such as washing machines, dishwashers, and vacuum instead of humans, also, these consume a large amount of energy. So if humans must use less energy resources, they will leave their comfortable lives and start to do housework without automotive equipment. In addition to this, humans lack awareness about the severity of the global environment and then in fact, they are forgetting the significance of protecting the environment in the future. For instance, a large number of people use their private vehicles, rather than using public transportation, which will obviously cause environmental pollution when these vehicles release toxic fuel into the air.
As every lock has a key, these issues can be conquered by taking some diligent steps and by understanding our responsibility towards nature. To cut down on the amount of using too much energy, it is vital for people to install solar panels in their houses to get hot water as well as to operate the electronics instead of using up electricity from time to time. Through solar – a type of energy that is unlimited, humans still have convenient lives and also assist to protect the environment. Another effective course of action would be for the government to raise awareness about serious consequences which the environment is being faced such as melting ice and global warming. The authorities of nations should make use of social media to prioritize the effects and suggest citizens taking action immediately. For example, the government may upgrade the public transportation systems, along with creating ticket months for inhabitants to save on travel costs and imposing heavy taxes on private vehicles.
In conclusion, taking individual action is largely driven by the dependence on automation of society and the lack of awareness about the threat to the environment. However, this problem is still positively soluble, but not without the support of government authorities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The issue of environmental damage and protection most draws attention from worldwide" -> "The issue of environmental damage and protection receives widespread global attention"
Explanation: The phrase "receives widespread global attention" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone by avoiding the awkward and incorrect construction "draws attention from worldwide."
"people are encouraged to reduce the consumption of energy in their daily lives" -> "individuals are encouraged to reduce their daily energy consumption"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "reduce their daily energy consumption" is a more direct and precise way to express the action.
"many do not want to change their habits as they have difficulties in adapting to the new lifestyle which is not as convenient as they did before" -> "many individuals resist changing their habits due to difficulties in adapting to less convenient lifestyles"
Explanation: Simplifying "do not want to change their habits as they have difficulties in adapting to the new lifestyle which is not as convenient as they did before" to "resist changing their habits due to difficulties in adapting to less convenient lifestyles" streamlines the sentence and enhances clarity and formality.
"Chief of these is the profound influence of automation" -> "The primary factor is the profound influence of automation"
Explanation: "The primary factor" is more precise and formal than "Chief of these," which is colloquial and vague.
"most household chores choose to use automotive machines" -> "many household chores opt for the use of automated machines"
Explanation: "Opt for the use of automated machines" is more precise and formal than "choose to use automotive machines," which is awkward and incorrect.
"So if humans must use less energy resources" -> "Therefore, if humans must reduce energy consumption"
Explanation: "Therefore" is a more formal transitional word than "So," and "reduce energy consumption" is a more precise term than "use less energy resources."
"they will leave their comfortable lives" -> "they will have to abandon their comfortable lifestyles"
Explanation: "Have to abandon their comfortable lifestyles" is more formal and accurately conveys the necessity of change.
"humans lack awareness about the severity of the global environment" -> "individuals are unaware of the severity of global environmental issues"
Explanation: "Individuals are unaware of the severity of global environmental issues" is more formal and precise, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "lack awareness about."
"they are forgetting the significance of protecting the environment in the future" -> "they are neglecting the importance of future environmental protection"
Explanation: "Neglecting the importance of future environmental protection" is more concise and formal, improving the academic tone.
"every lock has a key" -> "every problem has a solution"
Explanation: "Every problem has a solution" is a more universally applicable and formal expression than "every lock has a key," which is a metaphor that may not be immediately clear in this context.
"taking some diligent steps" -> "implementing diligent measures"
Explanation: "Implementing diligent measures" is more formal and precise than "taking some diligent steps," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"by understanding our responsibility towards nature" -> "by acknowledging our responsibility towards the environment"
Explanation: "Acknowledging our responsibility towards the environment" is more specific and formal, replacing the less precise "nature."
"to install solar panels in their houses to get hot water as well as to operate the electronics" -> "to install solar panels in their homes to provide hot water and power their electronics"
Explanation: "Provide hot water and power their electronics" is more specific and formal than "get hot water as well as to operate the electronics."
"imposing heavy taxes on private vehicles" -> "imposing significant taxes on private vehicles"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and formal term than "heavy," which can be ambiguous in this context.
"taking individual action is largely driven by the dependence on automation of society" -> "individual action is largely driven by societal dependence on automation"
Explanation: "Societal dependence on automation" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea, avoiding the awkward construction "dependence on automation of society."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons why individuals do not change their energy consumption habits and suggesting solutions to encourage them to take action. The first paragraph outlines the difficulties people face in adapting to a lifestyle that requires less energy, while the second part provides viable solutions such as installing solar panels and government initiatives. However, the connection between the reasons and the solutions could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could more clearly delineate how each reason directly relates to the suggested solution. For instance, after discussing the lack of awareness, the essay could explicitly state how raising awareness through government campaigns can address this issue. This would create a stronger link between the identified problems and the proposed actions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that individual actions are necessary to protect the environment, and it identifies automation and lack of awareness as key barriers. However, the phrasing in some areas, such as "taking individual action is largely driven by the dependence on automation," could be misinterpreted as suggesting that individuals are not responsible for their actions, which may dilute the strength of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity of position, the writer should consistently emphasize individual responsibility alongside the acknowledgment of external factors. Phrases like "individuals must recognize their role" could reinforce the argument that personal change is essential, thus maintaining a stronger and more consistent position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for inaction and potential solutions. For example, the mention of automation and its impact on energy consumption is a strong point. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly developed. The discussion on government action is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration on how these measures would effectively change behavior.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer could provide more detailed examples of successful government initiatives in other countries or elaborate on how social media campaigns have effectively raised awareness in the past. This would not only support the claims made but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for inaction and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For instance, the phrase "humans still have convenient lives" may distract from the main argument about energy consumption and environmental protection.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to addressing the prompt. Avoiding vague phrases and ensuring that all examples directly relate back to the central argument about energy consumption and environmental protection will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the clarity of connections between reasons and solutions, reinforcing individual responsibility, providing more detailed examples, and maintaining strict focus on the topic would elevate the overall quality and coherence of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs are organized around two main reasons for the lack of individual action and two proposed solutions. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing reasons for inaction to solutions feels abrupt and could benefit from clearer linking sentences that guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph that relate back to the previous one. For example, after discussing the reasons for inaction, you might start the next paragraph with, "To address these challenges, several proactive measures can be implemented." This would create a stronger connection between the two sections of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the influence of automation and the other on the lack of awareness. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs. For instance, the first body paragraph could be divided into two, with the first discussing automation and the second addressing awareness. This would allow for a more thorough examination of each point and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to connect ideas. Phrases like "in addition to this" and "for example" are used effectively. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "in addition to this," you could use alternatives such as "furthermore," "moreover," or "consequently." Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using phrases that summarize or contrast ideas, which will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "environmental damage," "automation," "household chores," and "global warming" effectively used to convey complex ideas. However, some phrases are somewhat repetitive, such as "use less energy" and "protect the environment," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "use less energy," alternatives like "reduce energy consumption" or "minimize energy usage" could be employed. Additionally, using more specific vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "sustainable practices" or "renewable resources," would further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "automotive machines" could be more accurately described as "automated appliances" or "automated devices." The phrase "humans lack awareness about the severity of the global environment" is vague; it could be more precise by specifying "humans lack awareness about the severity of environmental degradation."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that accurately reflect the intended meaning. For instance, instead of "humans," using "individuals" or "society" can provide clarity. Additionally, ensuring that phrases are contextually appropriate will help convey the message more effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, "automotive" is used correctly, but "automotive machines" is a misnomer; the correct term should be "automated machines." The phrase "through solar – a type of energy that is unlimited" contains a typographical error with the hyphen, which should be removed for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully to catch typographical errors and ensure correct terminology is used. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify mistakes that may be overlooked during initial writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary and generally accurate spelling, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and careful proofreading. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the essay’s lexical resource score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences like "Despite that, many do not want to change their habits as they have difficulties in adapting to the new lifestyle which is not as convenient as they did before" showcases the writer’s ability to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "In addition to this" or "As every lock has a key," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer should experiment with different ways to start sentences and incorporate more varied conjunctions and transitional phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "In addition to this," the writer could use phrases like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Additionally." Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "most household chores choose to use automotive machines" is awkwardly constructed; it would be clearer to say "most households choose to use automated machines." There are also punctuation issues, such as the incorrect use of commas in "humans lack awareness about the severity of the global environment and then in fact, they are forgetting," where a semicolon or period would be more appropriate to separate the two independent clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For example, "the global environment" could be simplified to "the severity of environmental issues." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding independent and dependent clauses, will help clarify complex sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also aid in this improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The issue of environmental damage and protection draws widespread attention from around the world, and people are encouraged to reduce their energy consumption in their daily lives. Despite this, many do not want to change their habits as they have difficulties adapting to a lifestyle that is not as convenient as before. These problems can be attributed to several factors, and this essay will suggest viable solutions to remedy the situation.

Staying unchanged in the habits of most people can stem from two main reasons. Chief among these is the profound influence of automation. In today’s modern era, most household chores opt for the use of automated machines such as washing machines, dishwashers, and vacuum cleaners instead of humans. These machines consume a large amount of energy. Therefore, if humans must reduce energy consumption, they will have to abandon their comfortable lifestyles and start doing housework without automated equipment. In addition to this, individuals are unaware of the severity of global environmental issues, and they are neglecting the importance of future environmental protection. For instance, a large number of people use their private vehicles rather than public transportation, which obviously causes environmental pollution as these vehicles release toxic fuel into the air.

As every problem has a solution, these issues can be conquered by taking diligent steps and by acknowledging our responsibility towards the environment. To cut down on excessive energy use, it is vital for people to install solar panels in their homes to provide hot water and power their electronics instead of relying on electricity from the grid. Through solar energy—a type of energy that is unlimited—humans can maintain convenient lifestyles while also helping to protect the environment. Another effective course of action would be for the government to raise awareness about the serious consequences the environment is facing, such as melting ice and global warming. Authorities should utilize social media to highlight these effects and encourage citizens to take action immediately. For example, the government may upgrade public transportation systems, create monthly ticket options for residents to save on travel costs, and impose significant taxes on private vehicles.

In conclusion, individual action is largely driven by societal dependence on automation and the lack of awareness about environmental threats. However, this problem is still positively solvable, but not without the support of government authorities.