Scientists believe that the world is in danger due to environmental changes .Some people say that personal lifestyle should be made to reduce the damage to environment, while others think that the government should do something to help. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Authority argues that our planet is facing a severe hazard of environmental alternations. Some are of the opinion that individual changes are essential to decrease the damage. Whereas other suggest that government should step up and find a solution to this issue. From my perspective, I am partly agree with the latter statement.
Firstly, it is believed governments stand a better chance to produce sustainable impact. Their roles as legislators, adjudicators or enforcers and their financial clout can come in handy in saving the world's natural ecosystem. For instance, most states globally use the popular "polluters must pay principle" when dealing with offenders. Moreover, not only is the power of government is the reason why they should take action to protect nation against detrimentally environmental changes but also the obligations.
In addition, it is a key responsibilty of the government to protect the environment by spending state funds on research and modern equipment as well as punish severely those aim at damaging the environment. Countries where legislation protects the ecology have achieved visible results and overcame most environmental problems.For example, Norway has a tax and refund scheme to collect and safely destroy HFCs and a tax system encouraging the use of climate-friendly alternatives. However , some of effective the actions that groups of people are also beneficial and can not be neglected.
It is undeniable that the ordinary people, through small, everyday actions, can also greatly contribute to protecting the environment. Citizens in many countries, like the Netherlands, have now shifted towards using bicycles and subway trains for their daily travel instead of cars, which has so far helped reduce a tremendous amount of CO2 released into the air, and improved air quality. However, the strength and power of the leadership in control is so powerful that they should create strict laws to prevent practices that contribute to pollution and global warming. Indeed, government has done wonders for the preservation and environment significantly.
In conclusion, although individuals are important stakeholders in finding lasting solutions to environmental problems, I believe that the state can do so much more to help. According to me, it is the responsibility of everyone to protect our environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Authority argues" -> "It is argued"
Explanation: "It is argued" is a more formal and passive construction, which is preferred in academic writing to avoid the direct attribution of an argument to a vague entity like "Authority."
"severe hazard of environmental alternations" -> "severe hazard of environmental alterations"
Explanation: "Alterations" is the correct term for changes in the environment, whereas "alternations" is not a standard term in this context.
"individual changes" -> "individual actions"
Explanation: "Actions" is more specific and appropriate in this context, referring to deliberate human activities, whereas "changes" could be vague and encompass natural changes as well.
"government should step up" -> "governments should take action"
Explanation: "Take action" is a more formal and precise phrase than "step up," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in this context.
"I am partly agree" -> "I am partly agreeable"
Explanation: "Partly agreeable" is grammatically correct and maintains the formal tone, whereas "partly agree" is a less formal and incorrect usage.
"stand a better chance to produce" -> "are more likely to produce"
Explanation: "Are more likely to produce" is a clearer and more direct expression, avoiding the awkward construction of "stand a better chance to."
"not only is the power of government is the reason" -> "not only is the power of government, but also"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and improves readability by using a more standard conjunction to connect the two clauses.
"protect nation against detrimentally environmental changes" -> "protect the nation from detrimental environmental changes"
Explanation: "From" is the correct preposition to use with "protect," and "detrimental" is the correct adjective form.
"punish severely those aim at damaging" -> "punish severely those who aim to damage"
Explanation: "Who aim to damage" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the intended meaning.
"overcame most environmental problems" -> "have overcome most environmental problems"
Explanation: Adding "have" corrects the tense to match the context of the sentence, which discusses past achievements.
"However, some of effective the actions" -> "However, some effective actions"
Explanation: Removes the unnecessary word "of" and corrects the punctuation to improve readability and grammatical accuracy.
"can not be neglected" -> "cannot be neglected"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct form of the modal verb in formal writing.
"the strength and power of the leadership in control" -> "the strength and power of leadership"
Explanation: Simplifies and clarifies the phrase by removing unnecessary words, enhancing the formal tone.
"government has done wonders for the preservation and environment significantly" -> "governments have achieved significant preservation and environmental benefits"
Explanation: "Achieved significant preservation and environmental benefits" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial "done wonders."
"According to me" -> "In my view"
Explanation: "In my view" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "According to me," which is informal and less precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the responsibility for environmental protection, discussing the roles of individuals and the government. The first half of the essay focuses on the government’s role, providing examples like Norway’s tax and refund scheme, which effectively illustrates the potential for governmental action. The second half acknowledges the importance of individual contributions, citing the example of bicycle use in the Netherlands. However, the discussion of individual actions is less developed compared to the government’s role, which could lead to an imbalance in addressing the prompt fully.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more detailed examples of individual actions that have made a significant impact, as well as a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. This could involve elaborating on how personal lifestyle changes can complement government actions, thereby providing a more comprehensive view of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that emphasizes the government’s responsibility in addressing environmental issues, stating, "I am partly agree with the latter statement." However, the phrase "partly agree" introduces some ambiguity regarding the author’s stance. The conclusion reiterates the belief that the state can do more, but the initial qualification may confuse readers about the overall position.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should choose a more definitive stance. Instead of stating "partly agree," the author could assert a stronger opinion, such as "I firmly believe that the government should take primary responsibility." This would provide a clearer direction and strengthen the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly regarding the government’s role in environmental protection. The use of examples, such as the "polluters must pay principle" and Norway’s initiatives, effectively supports these ideas. However, the essay lacks depth in exploring the individual contributions to environmental protection, which are mentioned but not sufficiently elaborated upon. For instance, while the mention of citizens using bicycles is relevant, it could be expanded to include statistics or broader implications of such actions.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for both perspectives. This could involve discussing specific individual actions that have led to measurable environmental benefits or citing studies that demonstrate the impact of collective individual efforts.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the roles of individuals and the government in environmental protection. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly convoluted, such as in the phrase "the strength and power of the leadership in control is so powerful," which could distract from the main argument. Additionally, the conclusion introduces a somewhat vague statement about the responsibility of everyone, which could be seen as a deviation from the specific focus on government versus individual responsibility.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all statements directly support the central argument. Simplifying language and avoiding redundancy will help keep the reader engaged and focused on the main points. The conclusion should also clearly restate the author’s position without introducing new ideas that could confuse the reader.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the author can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their response, potentially raising their band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two perspectives on environmental responsibility. The body paragraphs effectively separate the arguments for government action and individual responsibility. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing government responsibilities to individual actions lacks a clear linking sentence that would guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For instance, after discussing government actions, a sentence like "While government initiatives are crucial, individual actions also play a significant role in environmental protection" would create a clearer bridge to the next point.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For instance, the second body paragraph begins with a focus on government responsibilities but then shifts to examples without a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that clearly states the main idea. This helps the reader understand the focus of the paragraph immediately. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and maintain focus on a single idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "However," which help to organize the ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "Moreover, not only is the power of government…" could be better connected to the previous sentence to clarify how it relates to the argument being made.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "On the other hand," or "Consequently." Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using reference words (e.g., "this," "these") to link back to previously mentioned ideas, thereby reinforcing the connections between sentences and ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraph structures, and a broader range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "hazard," "sustainable impact," and "polluters must pay principle." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the phrase "environmental changes" is used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "ordinary people" and "small, everyday actions" could be replaced with more varied expressions to enhance the richness of the language.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "environment," alternatives like "ecosystem," "natural world," or "surroundings" could be employed. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help expand the writer’s lexical repertoire.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the power of government is the reason why they should take action" could be more clearly articulated. The term "obligations" is vague and could benefit from specification regarding what obligations are being referred to. Additionally, "detrimentally environmental changes" is awkward and should be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by providing context or clarification for terms that may be ambiguous. For instance, instead of saying "obligations," the writer could specify "legal obligations" or "moral responsibilities." Practicing writing with a focus on clarity and specificity will aid in this improvement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "responsibilty" (should be "responsibility") and "whereas other suggest" (should be "whereas others suggest"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Regular practice in writing and reviewing can significantly enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality of the writing and potentially raise the band score for Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "not only is the power of government… but also the obligations" showcases an attempt at complex structures. However, there are instances where the sentence construction could be more varied and fluid. For example, the sentence "Authority argues that our planet is facing a severe hazard of environmental alternations" could be rephrased to enhance clarity and engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional clauses (e.g., "If governments take action, individuals will likely follow suit"), use participial phrases (e.g., "Having recognized the urgency, governments must act swiftly"), and vary the placement of adverbial phrases to create more dynamic sentences. Additionally, practicing the use of different conjunctions and transitions can help in crafting more complex and engaging sentences.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "I am partly agree with the latter statement" should be corrected to "I partly agree with the latter statement." Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "the power of government is the reason why they should take action," which should be "the power of government is the reason why it should take action." Punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of commas (e.g., "However , some of effective the actions that groups of people are also beneficial"), disrupt the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and practice common verb forms. Regularly proofreading for errors in sentence structure and punctuation can also help. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can provide additional insights into persistent mistakes. Furthermore, focusing on punctuation rules, particularly around clauses and conjunctions, will improve the overall readability of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in using a range of sentence structures and grammatical forms, there are notable areas for improvement. By diversifying sentence construction and enhancing grammatical accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Authority argues that our planet is facing a severe hazard of environmental alterations. Some are of the opinion that individual changes are essential to decrease the damage, whereas others suggest that the government should step up and find a solution to this issue. From my perspective, I am partly agreeable with the latter statement.

Firstly, it is believed that governments stand a better chance to produce a sustainable impact. Their roles as legislators, adjudicators, or enforcers, along with their financial clout, can come in handy in saving the world’s natural ecosystem. For instance, most states globally use the popular “polluters must pay principle” when dealing with offenders. Moreover, not only is the power of government the reason why they should take action to protect the nation against detrimental environmental changes, but also their obligations.

In addition, it is a key responsibility of the government to protect the environment by spending state funds on research and modern equipment, as well as punishing severely those who aim to damage the environment. Countries where legislation protects the ecology have achieved visible results and have overcome most environmental problems. For example, Norway has a tax and refund scheme to collect and safely destroy HFCs and a tax system encouraging the use of climate-friendly alternatives. However, some effective actions that groups of people take are also beneficial and cannot be neglected.

It is undeniable that ordinary people, through small, everyday actions, can also greatly contribute to protecting the environment. Citizens in many countries, like the Netherlands, have now shifted towards using bicycles and subway trains for their daily travel instead of cars, which has so far helped reduce a tremendous amount of CO2 released into the air and improved air quality. However, the strength and power of leadership in control is so significant that they should create strict laws to prevent practices that contribute to pollution and global warming. Indeed, the government has done wonders for preservation and environmental benefits.

In conclusion, although individuals are important stakeholders in finding lasting solutions to environmental problems, I believe that the state can do so much more to help. In my view, it is the responsibility of everyone to protect our environment.