should children share housework with parents

Recently, the division of housework in families has became a broad issue to the general public. while some claimed that children should focus on studying and creating social relationship. i would contend that sharing housework with parents bring a variety of benefits for them.

a few reason can be given to clarify why children should share housework with their parents. one reason is doing household tasks provide kids opportunnities for developing many skills such as self-care skills, independent,responsibility,… when they doing housework, they can absorb slowly these skills though many simple tasks like : cleaning the floor, washing the dishes,… this lay the foundation to shape their personalities and become very helful for their life in the future.

another point i would like to make that doing chores contribute to improve families relationship in family member. working together help children cooperate understand each other and be respectful of other member. they will appreciate all the hard work their mother and father do for them. moreover , this work create special moment between kids and their parents. it will be the unforgettable memories in the child's childhood so it strengthen family bond.

in brief,i firmly believe that helping parents with household tasks would potentially make children grow into independent responsibilties and attentive people who respect their parent

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"has became" -> "has become"
Explanation: "Has become" is the correct verb form in present perfect tense, aligning with standard grammar rules.
"while some claimed" -> "while some argue"
Explanation: "Claimed" is a bit too assertive for an academic tone; "argue" maintains neutrality and formality.
"creating social relationship" -> "building social relationships"
Explanation: "Building social relationships" is a more precise and formal phrase compared to "creating social relationship."
"a few reason can be given" -> "Several reasons can be given"
Explanation: "A few reason" lacks precision; "several reasons" is more specific and appropriate for academic writing.
"opportunnities" -> "opportunities"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling mistake.
"independent,responsibility" -> "independence, responsibility"
Explanation: Adding a comma between "independent" and "responsibility" for clarity and proper punctuation.
"doing housework" (repetitive usage) -> "performing household tasks" or "undertaking chores"
Explanation: Varying the phrase to avoid repetition and enhance the writing style.
"though" -> "through"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling mistake.
"helful" -> "helpful"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling mistake.
"another point i would like to make that" -> "Another point to consider is that"
Explanation: Transitioning more smoothly into the next argument with a formal phrase.
"doing chores contribute to improve" -> "doing chores contributes to improving"
Explanation: Ensuring subject-verb agreement and using the gerund form after "contribute to."
"in family member" -> "among family members"
Explanation: Improving the preposition usage for clarity and accuracy.
"be respectful of other member" -> "show respect for other members"
Explanation: Clarifying the phrasing for better understanding.
"all the hard work their mother and father do for them" -> "the hard work their parents do for them"
Explanation: Simplifying the sentence structure while maintaining clarity.
"moreover , this work" -> "Moreover, these tasks"
Explanation: Using a more precise term ("tasks") and correcting the punctuation error.
"it will be the unforgettable memories" -> "they will create unforgettable memories"
Explanation: Clarifying the subject ("they") and improving sentence structure.
"in brief,i firmly believe" -> "In conclusion, I firmly believe"
Explanation: Introducing the conclusion more formally and clearly.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of children sharing housework with their parents. It acknowledges the importance of household tasks in developing skills and improving family relationships. However, it lacks depth in discussing why children should share housework specifically with their parents, as opposed to others.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, the essay should provide a more thorough analysis of why children should share housework with their parents specifically. This could involve discussing the role of parental guidance, the transfer of values through shared responsibilities, and the unique bond strengthened by working together within the family unit.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance supporting the idea that children should share housework with their parents. It consistently argues for the benefits of this practice, such as skill development and improved family relationships.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state the position in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the body paragraphs. This could involve using language that firmly asserts the viewpoint, such as "I strongly believe" or "It is my firm conviction."
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the benefits of children sharing housework with their parents but lacks depth in elaboration and support. It briefly mentions skills development and improved family relationships without providing concrete examples or further explanation.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation and support, the essay should include specific examples or anecdotes illustrating how sharing housework with parents leads to skill acquisition and strengthens family bonds. Additionally, elaborating on each point with more detailed explanations would enrich the content and provide a more compelling argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages of children participating in housework with their parents. However, it briefly touches on the idea of children focusing on studying and social relationships, which slightly deviates from the main topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should refrain from introducing tangential ideas and instead concentrate solely on the benefits of children sharing housework with their parents. This can be achieved by carefully structuring the argument to prioritize relevant points and omitting unrelated information.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively argues for the benefits of children sharing housework with their parents, there are areas for improvement in addressing all parts of the question, providing a clearer stance, extending and supporting ideas, and staying strictly on topic. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can strengthen its overall coherence and persuasiveness, potentially leading to ahigher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a logical organization, progressing from an introduction where the writer presents their stance to body paragraphs that support their argument with reasons and examples. However, there are some instances where the flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs feels abrupt, lacking a smooth segue. Additionally, the conclusion could provide a stronger summary of the main points discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transition words and phrases more consistently throughout the essay to guide the reader from one idea to the next. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use topic sentences to clearly introduce these ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the structure within paragraphs could be refined for better clarity and coherence. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear delineation, leading to potential confusion for the reader.
- How to improve: Work on structuring paragraphs more effectively by focusing on one main idea per paragraph and providing clear topic sentences that introduce each idea. Additionally, ensure that there is a logical flow of ideas within each paragraph, with supporting details and examples provided in a coherent manner.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "a few reasons," "another point," and "in brief." However, there is limited variety in the types of cohesive devices used, and some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used to include a variety of conjunctions, transition words, and linking phrases. This will help create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they connect ideas effectively and maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, including words such as "division," "opportunities," "responsibility," "cooperate," "appreciate," "unforgettable," "independent," and "responsible." However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of vocabulary. For instance, phrases like "a few reasons can be given" could be replaced with more diverse expressions, and synonyms for frequently used words could be integrated to enrich the language.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should actively seek out synonyms and alternative expressions for common words and phrases. Additionally, incorporating more specialized vocabulary related to household tasks, family dynamics, and personal development would add depth to the essay. Utilizing a thesaurus and reading extensively on various topics can help expand vocabulary range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary with precision, such as "cooperate," "responsibility," and "unforgettable." However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "doing household tasks" instead of "performing household chores" or "creating social relationship" instead of "building social relationships." These minor inaccuracies detract slightly from the overall precision of expression.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive to use terms that precisely convey their intended meaning. This can involve consulting dictionaries or specialized terminology resources to ensure accuracy. Additionally, revising sentences to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary will enhance clarity and depth of expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with few noticeable errors. However, there are some spelling mistakes, such as "became" instead of "become" in the first sentence and "opportunnities" instead of "opportunities" in the second paragraph. While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they indicate a need for improvement in spelling consistency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should utilize spell-check tools and proofread their work carefully before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or quizzes can reinforce correct spelling patterns and reduce errors in future writing endeavors. Developing a habit of double-checking spelling during the editing process will help minimize mistakes and improve overall writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to vary sentence structures. While there is some repetition and simplicity in sentence construction, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, simple sentences like "One reason is doing household tasks provide kids opportunities for developing many skills" are balanced with compound sentences such as "Working together helps children cooperate, understand each other, and be respectful of other members." Additionally, there are attempts at using relative clauses ("…opportunities for developing many skills such as self-care skills, independence, responsibility…") to add complexity.
- How to improve: To further enhance grammatical range, strive for greater diversity in sentence structures. Incorporate more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and varied types of subordinate clauses. Additionally, ensure that relative clauses are used accurately to provide additional information without creating confusion. Expanding vocabulary and using idiomatic expressions can also elevate the sophistication of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, though there are noticeable errors throughout. For example, "doing household tasks provide" should be corrected to "doing household tasks provides." Additionally, there are punctuation errors such as missing commas in compound sentences ("…opportunities for developing many skills such as self-care skills, independent,responsibility,…"). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent ("working together help children cooperate"). However, the overall structure of the essay is coherent, and the errors do not significantly hinder comprehension.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects in number and tense. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct punctuation errors, particularly regarding comma placement in complex sentences. Review grammatical rules related to singular/plural nouns and verbs to minimize errors in agreement. Practicing writing exercises focused on specific grammar points can help solidify understanding and improve accuracy. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify recurring errors and areas for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, the division of housework in families has become a broad issue to the general public. While some argue that children should focus on studying and building social relationships, I firmly believe that sharing housework with parents can bring a variety of benefits for them.

Several reasons can be given to clarify why children should share housework with their parents. One reason is that doing household tasks provides kids with opportunities to develop many skills such as self-care, independence, and responsibility. When they engage in housework, they can slowly absorb these skills through many simple tasks like cleaning the floor or washing the dishes. This lays the foundation to shape their personalities and become very helpful for their future lives.

Another point to consider is that doing chores contributes to improving relationships among family members. Working together helps children cooperate, understand each other, and show respect for other members. They will appreciate all the hard work their parents do for them. Moreover, these tasks create special moments between kids and their parents. They will create unforgettable memories in the child’s childhood, thus strengthening family bonds.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that helping parents with household tasks would potentially make children grow into independent, responsible, and attentive people who respect their parents.