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Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever

they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?

Nowsaday, it is true that laws and rules is vital for stable society. Some people argue that it would not freedom for individuals to whatever they wanted, however I believe with the statement that society based on regulation, and governments need to set the boundaries for the freedom of individuals.

Firstly, regulations is crucial to protect of the rights. Laws and rules protect individuals’ rights by setting boundaries on acceptable behaviour. For example, laws against theft, assault, and fraud protect people from being victimized by others’ actions. In this way, people can live in a peaceful and friendly society. Secondly, rules and laws are essential for maintaing social order and stability. Without them, society would likely descend to chaos, riots, as individuals acting on personal desires could lead to conflicts, harm, and a breakdown of communal living.

In addition, fairness and justice could be setted by laws. A legal framework ensures that everyone is held to them same standards, which promotes fairness. It allows for the resolution of disputes in a structures and consistent manner, rather than through abitrary or biased means. Ultimately, laws and rules can prevent harm and promote the common good. Laws often protect people from various harm such as environmental hazards, infectious diaseases, and unsafe working conditions. By madating certain behaviours or prohibiting harmful ones, laws promote the common good.

In conclusion, It seems to me that laws and rules play a vital roles in temporary society. They provide the necessary structure for mainaining order, protecting individuals, ensureing fairness and promoting the common good. Therefore, I believe that people need to support and obey these regulations.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nowsaday" -> "Nowadays"
    Explanation: "Nowsaday" is a typographical error. "Nowadays" is the correct form of the adverb, which is commonly used to indicate the current time or situation.

  2. "laws and rules is" -> "laws and rules are"
    Explanation: "Is" is incorrectly used as a plural subject-verb agreement. "Are" is the correct form to match the plural subject "laws and rules."

  3. "it would not freedom for individuals to whatever they wanted" -> "it would not provide freedom for individuals to do whatever they want"
    Explanation: "Would not freedom" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The corrected phrase "would not provide freedom" is grammatically correct and clearer. Additionally, "do whatever they want" is more natural and precise than "whatever they wanted."

  4. "society based on regulation" -> "society based on regulations"
    Explanation: "Regulation" should be plural as it refers to multiple regulations, which is the context of the sentence.

  5. "protect of the rights" -> "protect individual rights"
    Explanation: "Protect of the rights" is grammatically incorrect. "Protect individual rights" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  6. "maintaing" -> "maintaining"
    Explanation: "Maintaing" is a typographical error. "Maintaining" is the correct form of the verb.

  7. "setted" -> "set"
    Explanation: "Setted" is a nonstandard form. "Set" is the correct form of the verb.

  8. "them same" -> "the same"
    Explanation: "Them same" is grammatically incorrect. "The same" is the correct form.

  9. "abitrary" -> "arbitrary"
    Explanation: "Abitrary" is a typographical error. "Arbitrary" is the correct spelling.

  10. "madating" -> "mandating"
    Explanation: "Madating" is a typographical error. "Mandating" is the correct form of the verb.

  11. "temporary society" -> "temporary societies"
    Explanation: "Temporary society" is grammatically incorrect as "society" is a singular noun. "Temporary societies" is grammatically correct and more appropriate in this context.

  12. "mainaining" -> "maintaining"
    Explanation: "Mainaining" is a typographical error. "Maintaining" is the correct form of the verb.

  13. "ensureing" -> "ensuring"
    Explanation: "Ensureing" is a typographical error. "Ensuring" is the correct form of the verb.

  14. "roles" -> "role"
    Explanation: "Roles" is incorrectly used as a plural form when referring to a single concept. "Role" is the correct singular form.

  15. "temporary" -> "temporary"
    Explanation: "Temporary" should be used to describe something that is temporary, not "temporary societies" which is a contradictory concept. The correct phrase should be "temporary societies" or "societies in the short term."

These corrections and improvements enhance the formal tone and grammatical accuracy of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by arguing in favor of the necessity of laws and rules for societal functioning. The author acknowledges opposing views by mentioning that some people argue for individual freedom, but the main argument clearly supports the idea that regulation is essential. The essay discusses various aspects of how laws protect rights, maintain order, and ensure fairness, which aligns well with the prompt’s requirement to consider the extent of agreement or disagreement.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could explicitly state the extent of their agreement at the beginning and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments in more detail could provide a more balanced view, which would strengthen the overall argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The position is generally clear, as the author consistently supports the idea that laws are crucial for society. However, the phrasing in the introduction could be clearer; the phrase "I believe with the statement that society based on regulation" is somewhat awkward and could confuse readers about the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: The author should aim for clearer and more direct language when stating their position. A more straightforward introduction, such as "I strongly agree that society cannot function without laws and regulations," would enhance clarity. Maintaining this clarity throughout the essay will help reinforce the author’s position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several relevant ideas, such as the protection of rights, maintenance of social order, and promotion of fairness. Each point is supported with examples, such as laws against theft and the role of legal frameworks in ensuring fairness. However, some points could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, the discussion on fairness could benefit from specific examples of legal cases or societal outcomes that illustrate the importance of laws.
    • How to improve: The author should aim to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. Providing real-world examples or statistics could strengthen the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each idea is clearly linked back to the main thesis will help in presenting a cohesive argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of laws and their importance in society. However, there are minor deviations, such as the mention of "environmental hazards" and "infectious diseases," which, while relevant, could be better integrated into the overall argument. The phrasing in some sections, such as "temporary society," is vague and could lead to confusion about the author’s intent.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points directly relate back to the central thesis. Clarifying vague terms and ensuring that each example ties back to the main argument will help in staying on topic. Additionally, a more structured approach, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, would enhance coherence and relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument, but there are areas for improvement in clarity, depth of analysis, and cohesion. By addressing these points, the author can enhance their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of laws and regulations, structured around several key points. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, such as the protection of rights, maintenance of social order, and promotion of fairness. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the protection of rights to social order feels abrupt, lacking a clear linking sentence that ties the two concepts together.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning or end of paragraphs to connect ideas. For example, after discussing the protection of rights, a sentence like "In addition to safeguarding individual rights, laws also play a crucial role in maintaining social order" could help bridge the two points more effectively.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a clear paragraph structure, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point related to the thesis. However, some paragraphs could benefit from more internal organization. For instance, the second paragraph discusses both the protection of rights and the maintenance of social order, which could be separated into two distinct paragraphs for clarity. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each point.
    • How to improve: Aim to dedicate one paragraph to each main idea. This will not only enhance clarity but also allow for deeper exploration of each point. For example, the paragraph on fairness and justice could be expanded into its own section, with examples and explanations that reinforce its importance in the context of laws.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "Ultimately," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "In this way" is used, but it could be more effectively complemented with additional linking words or phrases that clarify the relationship between sentences.
    • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," "Consequently," and "On the other hand." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a greater command of language. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "regulations," "rights," "social order," and "justice." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the term "laws and rules" is used multiple times without synonyms or alternative phrases, which could enhance the richness of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "laws and rules," alternatives like "legislation," "regulations," or "legal frameworks" could be utilized. Additionally, expanding vocabulary related to the topic, such as "legitimacy," "governance," or "civil liberties," would enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay attempts to use specific vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "it would not freedom for individuals to whatever they wanted" is awkward and unclear. The intended meaning seems to be that individuals would not have freedom if there were no laws, but the phrasing is convoluted. Similarly, "setted" is an incorrect form of "set," which detracts from the precision of the language.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on constructing clearer sentences. Revising awkward phrases for clarity is essential. For instance, the sentence could be rephrased to: "Some people argue that individuals would lack freedom if they could do whatever they wanted." Additionally, ensuring correct verb forms and grammatical structures will improve overall precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Nowsaday" (should be "Nowadays"), "maintaining" (misspelled as "maintaing"), "setted" (should be "set"), "abitrary" (should be "arbitrary"), "diaseases" (should be "diseases"), and "madating" (should be "mandating"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools, and proofreading their work carefully. Reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize the writer with commonly used words. Additionally, creating a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them could be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and relevant ideas, enhancing the range of vocabulary, improving precision in language use, and correcting spelling errors will significantly elevate the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that would enhance the writing. For instance, phrases like "laws and rules is vital for stable society" and "regulations is crucial to protect of the rights" use basic structures and contain grammatical errors. The essay does attempt some complex structures, such as "without them, society would likely descend to chaos," but these are not consistently employed throughout the text.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "laws and rules protect individuals’ rights," the writer could say, "While laws and rules protect individuals’ rights, they also serve to maintain social order." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can help create a more engaging flow.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "Nowsaday" should be "Nowadays," and "is vital for stable society" should be "are vital for a stable society." There are also instances of incorrect verb forms, such as "regulations is" instead of "regulations are," and awkward phrasing like "setted by laws," which should be "set by laws." Punctuation errors include the lack of commas where necessary, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and practice using correct verb forms. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer become familiar with proper sentence structures and punctuation usage. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common errors before submission can significantly improve the overall quality. Utilizing grammar-checking tools may also aid in identifying mistakes that could be overlooked.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument regarding the importance of laws and rules in society, it suffers from a lack of grammatical range and accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical correctness, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Nowadays, it is true that laws and rules are vital for a stable society. Some people argue that it would not provide freedom for individuals to do whatever they want; however, I believe in the statement that society is based on regulations, and governments need to set the boundaries for the freedom of individuals.

Firstly, regulations are crucial to protect individual rights. Laws and rules protect individuals’ rights by setting boundaries on acceptable behaviour. For example, laws against theft, assault, and fraud protect people from being victimized by others’ actions. In this way, people can live in a peaceful and friendly society. Secondly, rules and laws are essential for maintaining social order and stability. Without them, society would likely descend into chaos and riots, as individuals acting on personal desires could lead to conflicts, harm, and a breakdown of communal living.

In addition, fairness and justice can be ensured by laws. A legal framework ensures that everyone is held to the same standards, which promotes fairness. It allows for the resolution of disputes in a structured and consistent manner, rather than through arbitrary or biased means. Ultimately, laws and rules can prevent harm and promote the common good. Laws often protect people from various harms such as environmental hazards, infectious diseases, and unsafe working conditions. By mandating certain behaviours or prohibiting harmful ones, laws promote the common good.

In conclusion, it seems to me that laws and rules play a vital role in a temporary society. They provide the necessary structure for maintaining order, protecting individuals, ensuring fairness, and promoting the common good. Therefore, I believe that people need to support and obey these regulations.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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