solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of a international organization rather than each national government, do you agree or disagree

In this day and age, there has been controversy about whether environmental issue should be the concern of an global organization rather than each domestic government. While some people assume that environmental issue are the responsibility of each national, i believe that it is a matter of a global organization.
On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why Environmental issues should be the responsibility of each country. the first point deemed pertinent to this statement is that the government of each country solve it on its own is the best. the key rationale in favor of this matter is that Each country has a different financial condition. Another solid point is that since Each country can prioritize solving environmental problems in its own country first. For instance, vietnam is focus on tackling deforestation, singapore is focus on waste.
Notwithstanding, i onpine that the environmental issue is the duty of international responsibility. On the individual level, Environmental pollution affects many countries. In fact, It can be air pollution, water pollution that directly affects people's lives. which might is a common responsibility from these countries. On the societal level, it would be Many countries do not have enough money and need support from other countries, For expample, japan in 1890 are greatly affected by air pollution and water pollution, causing many people to suffer from cancer

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression that can be replaced with "Currently" for a more formal and precise academic tone.
"there has been controversy about whether" -> "there is ongoing debate regarding"
Explanation: "There is ongoing debate regarding" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better than the more casual "there has been controversy about."
"should be the concern of an global organization" -> "should be the concern of a global organization"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "an" to "a" before a noun that begins with a vowel sound.
"i believe" -> "I believe"
Explanation: Capitalizes "I" to maintain proper grammatical structure and formality.
"it is a matter of a global organization" -> "it is a matter for global organizations"
Explanation: "It is a matter for global organizations" clarifies that the responsibility is shared among multiple organizations, not just one.
"the government of each country solve it on its own is the best" -> "each country’s government should address it independently"
Explanation: "Each country’s government should address it independently" is more formal and avoids the informal and vague "is the best."
"the key rationale in favor of this matter is that" -> "a key rationale supporting this perspective is that"
Explanation: "A key rationale supporting this perspective is that" is more precise and academically appropriate than "the key rationale in favor of this matter."
"Each country has a different financial condition" -> "Each country has distinct financial circumstances"
Explanation: "Distinct financial circumstances" is more formal and precise than "different financial condition."
"since Each country can prioritize solving environmental problems in its own country first" -> "since each country can prioritize addressing environmental issues domestically"
Explanation: "Addressing environmental issues domestically" is more formal and avoids the repetition of "country."
"vietnam is focus on" -> "Vietnam focuses on"
Explanation: Corrects the verb tense and capitalizes "Vietnam" for proper noun usage.
"singapore is focus on" -> "Singapore focuses on"
Explanation: Corrects the verb tense and capitalizes "Singapore" for proper noun usage.
"i onpine" -> "I opine"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "opine" and capitalizes "I" for proper grammatical structure.
"the environmental issue is the duty of international responsibility" -> "environmental issues are a global responsibility"
Explanation: "Environmental issues are a global responsibility" is more concise and formally correct.
"which might is a common responsibility from these countries" -> "which could be a shared responsibility among these countries"
Explanation: "Which could be a shared responsibility among these countries" corrects the awkward and unclear original phrase.
"For expample" -> "For example"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "example."
"japan in 1890 are greatly affected" -> "Japan in 1890 was greatly affected"
Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to match the past time period mentioned, and capitalizes "Japan" for proper noun usage.
"causing many people to suffer from cancer" -> "resulting in widespread cancer cases"
Explanation: "Resulting in widespread cancer cases" is more formal and precise than "causing many people to suffer from cancer."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether environmental issues should be managed by international organizations or individual national governments. However, the response lacks depth in addressing the implications of each viewpoint. For instance, while the author mentions that each country has different financial conditions, this point is not sufficiently explored or linked back to the overall argument. Additionally, the essay does not clearly state a definitive position on the issue, which is crucial for a Task 2 response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly articulate their stance in the introduction and consistently support it throughout the essay. Each point made should be elaborated with examples and explanations that tie back to the central argument. Including a more balanced analysis of both perspectives before concluding with a strong personal viewpoint would also strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles with maintaining a clear position. The introduction suggests a belief in the responsibility of global organizations, but the body paragraphs present arguments for both sides without a clear commitment to one. Phrases like "i onpine that the environmental issue is the duty of international responsibility" are vague and do not reinforce a strong position. The lack of a definitive stance creates confusion about the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: The writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that reflects the main argument, followed by supporting details that reinforce this position. This approach will help maintain clarity and consistency throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of Vietnam and Singapore is a good start, but the examples are not fully explained or connected to the argument about the role of international organizations. Additionally, the discussion of Japan’s historical context is not clearly linked to the current debate, making it less relevant.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Each point should be expanded upon with relevant data, statistics, or case studies that illustrate the argument. The use of clear examples that directly relate to the prompt will enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic. While it discusses environmental issues, some points, such as the historical reference to Japan in 1890, do not directly relate to the current responsibilities of international organizations versus national governments. This can distract from the main argument and weaken the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made is directly relevant to the prompt. Before writing, outlining the main arguments and examples can help keep the essay on track. Additionally, reviewing each paragraph to confirm its relevance to the thesis statement can help eliminate off-topic content.

Overall, to improve the essay and achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on clearly articulating their position, developing and supporting their ideas with relevant examples, and ensuring that all content remains directly related to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the responsibility for environmental issues, distinguishing between the roles of national governments and international organizations. The introduction outlines the debate effectively, and the body paragraphs attempt to present both sides of the argument. However, the logical flow is somewhat disrupted by unclear transitions and a lack of clear topic sentences in some paragraphs. For example, the transition from discussing national responsibilities to international responsibilities could be smoother, as the connection between the two perspectives is not fully articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," "Furthermore," or "In contrast" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single idea, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points will also improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a strength. However, the effectiveness of these paragraphs is inconsistent. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses reasons for national responsibility but lacks a clear structure, leading to confusion about the main points. The second body paragraph attempts to argue for international responsibility but also suffers from unclear organization and incomplete thoughts.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations. The writer should consider using a standard structure: a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphs are of a similar length and complexity can create a more balanced and readable essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "Notwithstanding," which help to signal shifts in argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For example, phrases like "Another solid point is that since Each country can prioritize solving environmental problems in its own country first" could benefit from clearer linking words to enhance flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Additionally," "Moreover," "Consequently," and "As a result." This will help to create smoother transitions between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts can also help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Phrases like "environmental issues," "financial condition," and "tackling deforestation" show an understanding of relevant terminology. However, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication, as seen in the frequent use of "each country" and "environmental issue." Additionally, phrases like "a global organization" and "domestic government" could be expressed in more varied ways to enhance the richness of the language.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of repeating "each country," alternatives like "individual nations" or "sovereign states" could be used. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "sustainability," "biodiversity," or "climate change," would enhance the essay’s depth.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the government of each country solve it on its own is the best" is awkward and unclear. The use of "on its own" is vague, and the sentence structure is confusing. Similarly, "the duty of international responsibility" could be more clearly articulated as "the responsibility of international organizations." Furthermore, the phrase "which might is a common responsibility from these countries" is grammatically incorrect and unclear.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on constructing clear and grammatically correct sentences. Using phrases like "the responsibility lies with international organizations" instead of "the duty of international responsibility" would clarify the intended meaning. Additionally, practicing sentence structure and clarity in expression will help convey ideas more effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "an global organization" should be "a global organization," and "vietnam" should be capitalized as "Vietnam." The word "onpine" is likely a misspelling of "opine," and "expample" should be corrected to "example." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail in spelling.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Reading the essay aloud can help identify spelling errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can enhance overall spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focusing on varied vocabulary, clear expression, and careful proofreading will contribute to a more polished and effective essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance clarity and sophistication. For example, the sentence "the government of each country solve it on its own is the best" is awkwardly structured and lacks proper grammatical form. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the first point deemed pertinent to this statement" indicates an attempt to use more complex structures, but it is not executed correctly, leading to confusion.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Each country can prioritize solving environmental problems in its own country first," the writer could say, "While each country can prioritize solving environmental problems within its own borders, it is essential to recognize that these issues often transcend national boundaries." This not only adds variety but also enhances the clarity of the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "environmental issue" should be pluralized as "environmental issues" for grammatical accuracy. The phrase "i believe that it is a matter of a global organization" should capitalize "I" and could be more effectively expressed as "I believe that addressing environmental issues is a matter best suited for a global organization." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas and the incorrect use of lowercase letters at the beginning of sentences (e.g., "the first point deemed pertinent to this statement" should start with a capital "T").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and proper capitalization. Utilizing grammar-check tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify and correct these mistakes. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will improve the overall readability of the essay.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Regular practice, along with careful proofreading, will significantly enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, there has been controversy about whether environmental issues should be the concern of a global organization rather than each domestic government. While some people assume that environmental issues are the responsibility of each nation, I believe that it is a matter for global organizations.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why environmental issues should be the responsibility of each country. The first point deemed pertinent to this statement is that the government of each country solving it on its own is the best approach. A key rationale supporting this perspective is that each country has distinct financial circumstances. Another solid point is that since each country can prioritize addressing environmental problems domestically. For instance, Vietnam focuses on tackling deforestation, while Singapore focuses on waste management.

Notwithstanding, I opine that environmental issues are a global responsibility. On the individual level, environmental pollution affects many countries. In fact, it can be air pollution or water pollution that directly impacts people’s lives, which could be a shared responsibility among these countries. On the societal level, many countries do not have enough resources and need support from others. For example, Japan in 1890 was greatly affected by air pollution and water pollution, resulting in widespread cancer cases.