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Some believe that history has little to teach us, while others think that the study of the past help us understand the present. Discuss both view and give your own opinions

Some believe that history has little to teach us, while others think that the study of the past help us understand the present. Discuss both view and give your own opinions

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the fact that the study of the past does little to inform the present while others believe it can help aid understanding. While I accept that the world is continuously evolving and facing new challenges, I would argue that history still provides valuable lessons for understanding present issues.

On the one hand, it can be argued that there are two clear benefits that focusing on the present holds over studying history. The first reason is that rapid technological transformation has made today's problems much more complex than those of the past. With advancements in technology and globalization, we now face challenges that did not exist in earlier times, such as climate change. Additionally, limiting ourselves to past solutions might act as an intellectual straightjacket, restricting our ability to develop new approaches to modern problems. For instance, tackling climate change, a challenge unique to the present, requires innovative thinking and solutions that extend beyond historical precedents.

On the other hand, I am of the opinion that the importance of studying history must not be underestimated. Firstly, as Mark Twain once said, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.” This suggests that even though the issues we face may not be identical to those in the past, they share fundamental similarities. Learning from history helps us avoid repeating the mistakes of previous generations. For example, after the devastating global conflicts of the 1940s, the world learned the importance of diplomacy to prevent another world war, resulting in an extended period of peace that has lasted for over seven decades.

In conclusion, although I acknowledge that present issues may demand new approaches, I would contend that history remains valuable for providing lessons on how to navigate modern challenges. A balance should be struck between applying historical knowledge and creating innovative solutions to current problems.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nowadays" -> "Currently"
    Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."

  2. "an increasing number of people are concerned" -> "an increasing number of individuals are concerned"
    Explanation: Using "individuals" instead of "people" enhances the formality and specificity of the subject, aligning better with academic style.

  3. "the study of the past does little to inform the present" -> "historical studies contribute minimally to contemporary understanding"
    Explanation: "Historical studies contribute minimally to contemporary understanding" is more precise and formal, avoiding the vague and informal "does little to inform."

  4. "I would argue" -> "it is argued"
    Explanation: "It is argued" shifts the focus from a personal opinion to a more objective, academic stance, which is preferred in formal writing.

  5. "The first reason is that" -> "One reason is that"
    Explanation: "One reason is that" is a more concise and formal way to introduce a point in academic writing.

  6. "rapid technological transformation" -> "rapid technological advancements"
    Explanation: "Advancements" is a more precise term than "transformation," which can be vague and overly broad in this context.

  7. "much more complex" -> "significantly more complex"
    Explanation: "Significantly more complex" adds a quantifiable degree of complexity, enhancing the academic tone.

  8. "did not exist in earlier times" -> "did not exist previously"
    Explanation: "Previously" is a more formal and precise temporal reference than "earlier times."

  9. "might act as an intellectual straightjacket" -> "might constrain intellectual freedom"
    Explanation: "Constrain intellectual freedom" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of limiting creative thinking.

  10. "as Mark Twain once said" -> "as Mark Twain observed"
    Explanation: "Observed" is a more formal verb choice than "said," fitting better in an academic context.

  11. "History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme" -> "History does not repeat itself, but it does exhibit parallels"
    Explanation: "Exhibit parallels" is a more formal and precise way to describe the relationship between historical events and current issues.

  12. "the importance of studying history must not be underestimated" -> "the significance of historical studies should not be overlooked"
    Explanation: "The significance of historical studies should not be overlooked" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the imperative tone of "must not be underestimated."

  13. "I would contend" -> "it is contended"
    Explanation: Similar to earlier, "it is contended" shifts the focus from a personal opinion to a more objective, academic stance.

  14. "A balance should be struck" -> "a balance must be achieved"
    Explanation: "Must be achieved" implies a necessity and a sense of urgency, which is more suitable for academic arguments than the less forceful "should be struck."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the relevance of history in understanding the present. The first body paragraph discusses the perspective that history has little to teach us, highlighting the complexity of modern issues like climate change and the need for innovative solutions. The second body paragraph counters this by emphasizing the lessons from history, using a relevant quote from Mark Twain and providing a concrete example of the post-World War II era. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the nuances within each viewpoint. For instance, discussing how certain historical lessons can be adapted to modern contexts would provide a deeper exploration of the topic. Additionally, integrating a brief mention of counterarguments within each viewpoint could enrich the discussion.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that values the lessons of history while recognizing the need for contemporary solutions. The thesis statement is well-articulated, and the conclusion reinforces this stance effectively. However, the transition between the two views could be more fluid, as the shift from discussing the limitations of history to its importance feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two viewpoints. For example, after discussing the limitations of historical perspectives, a phrase like "However, it is crucial to recognize that…" could serve to guide the reader more smoothly into the next argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly and supports them with relevant examples. The use of a quote from Mark Twain adds depth to the argument about the significance of history. The example of post-World War II diplomacy effectively illustrates how historical lessons can inform present actions. However, while the ideas are well-supported, the essay could benefit from further elaboration on the examples provided.
    • How to improve: To strengthen this area, the author should aim to expand on examples with additional details or statistics that underscore the points made. For instance, elaborating on specific diplomatic efforts post-World War II and their outcomes could provide a more robust support for the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the prompt directly and avoiding tangential discussions. The arguments presented are relevant to the question of history’s value in understanding the present. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt, particularly in the exploration of how historical lessons can be applied to contemporary issues.
    • How to improve: To maintain tighter focus, the author should ensure that every example and argument explicitly ties back to the central question of the essay. For instance, when discussing modern challenges, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect how historical insights can inform specific strategies for addressing these challenges.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of the Task Response criteria, but with some refinements in depth, clarity, and connection to the prompt, it could reach an even higher level of excellence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, effectively addressing the prompt by discussing both views before articulating a personal opinion. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, the first body paragraph outlines the arguments against the relevance of history, while the second body paragraph counters this by emphasizing its importance. This clear delineation of ideas contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "Conversely" or "In contrast" could strengthen the transition from the first argument to the counter-argument. Additionally, summarizing the main points at the end of each paragraph could reinforce the logical progression of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and the body paragraphs are balanced in length and content. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, which aids in guiding the reader through the argument.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph contains a mix of examples and analysis could further enhance clarity. For instance, in the second body paragraph, after presenting the quote from Mark Twain, expanding on how this quote specifically relates to modern issues could provide deeper insight and strengthen the argument.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to clearly delineate opposing viewpoints. Additionally, the use of phrases like "for instance" and "firstly" aids in guiding the reader through the argument and providing examples. However, while these devices are effective, they are somewhat limited in variety.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "In addition" can help to connect related ideas within paragraphs. Additionally, employing devices that indicate contrast, such as "Nevertheless" or "However," can enhance the complexity of the argument and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining a logical flow of ideas. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further refine their writing and potentially achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively utilizing terms such as "technological transformation," "intellectual straightjacket," and "diplomacy." These choices not only convey complex ideas but also enhance the overall sophistication of the argument. The use of phrases like "rapid technological transformation" and "innovative thinking" showcases the writer’s ability to articulate nuanced concepts related to the topic.
    • How to improve: To elevate the lexical range further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms or phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "challenges," alternatives like "obstacles" or "issues" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more idiomatic expressions or collocations could enrich the text.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, as seen in phrases like "intellectual straightjacket" and "valuable lessons." These terms effectively convey the intended meaning and enhance clarity. However, the phrase "the study of the past does little to inform the present" could be perceived as slightly vague; it could benefit from more specific language regarding what aspects of the present are not informed.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to clarify vague statements. For instance, specifying which "aspects" of the present are not informed by history would strengthen the argument. Additionally, using more specific verbs, such as "illuminate" instead of "inform," could enhance the clarity and impact of the statements.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "advancements," "diplomacy," and "conclusion" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: While spelling is already strong, the writer should maintain this level of accuracy by continuing to proofread their work. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in regular reading can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, practicing writing under timed conditions can further enhance spelling proficiency, ensuring that it remains consistent under pressure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, with room for improvement in variety and precision. By incorporating more synonyms, clarifying vague statements, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further enhance their lexical proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "While I accept that the world is continuously evolving and facing new challenges, I would argue that history still provides valuable lessons for understanding present issues" effectively showcases the writer’s ability to convey nuanced thoughts. Additionally, the use of conditional structures in "if we limit ourselves to past solutions" adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances where simpler structures are used repetitively, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which could benefit from more varied transitional phrases.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating a mix of compound-complex sentences and varying the introductory phrases. For example, instead of consistently using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more relative clauses or participial phrases could enhance the complexity of the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. For instance, the phrase "the study of the past does little to inform the present" is grammatically sound and clearly articulated. Punctuation is also used effectively, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses, as seen in "With advancements in technology and globalization, we now face challenges that did not exist in earlier times." However, there are minor issues, such as the potential overuse of commas in longer sentences, which can disrupt the flow.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, focus on the rhythm and flow of sentences. Practice reading sentences aloud to identify any awkward pauses that may indicate unnecessary punctuation. Additionally, reviewing rules for comma usage, particularly in complex sentences, can help streamline the writing. For example, consider whether a comma is necessary before "but" in compound sentences, as in "History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme," where the comma is correctly used but could be omitted for a more fluid read.

Overall, the essay reflects a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. By incorporating more varied sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Currently, an increasing number of individuals are concerned about the notion that the study of the past contributes minimally to our understanding of the present, while others believe it can significantly aid our comprehension. While I accept that the world is continuously evolving and facing new challenges, I would argue that history still provides valuable lessons for understanding contemporary issues.

On the one hand, it is argued that there are two clear benefits to focusing on the present rather than studying history. One reason is that rapid technological advancements have made today’s problems significantly more complex than those of the past. With innovations in technology and globalization, we now face challenges that did not exist previously, such as climate change. Additionally, limiting ourselves to past solutions might constrain intellectual freedom, hindering our ability to develop new approaches to modern problems. For instance, addressing climate change, a challenge unique to the present, requires innovative thinking and solutions that extend beyond historical precedents.

On the other hand, I contend that the significance of historical studies should not be overlooked. Firstly, as Mark Twain observed, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does exhibit parallels.” This suggests that even though the issues we face may not be identical to those in the past, they share fundamental similarities. Learning from history helps us avoid repeating the mistakes of previous generations. For example, after the devastating global conflicts of the 1940s, the world learned the importance of diplomacy to prevent another world war, resulting in an extended period of peace that has lasted for over seven decades.

In conclusion, although I acknowledge that present issues may demand new approaches, it is contended that history remains valuable for providing lessons on how to navigate modern challenges. A balance must be achieved between applying historical knowledge and creating innovative solutions to current problems.

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