Some believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import films and TV programmes, while others think it is better for a country to have their own films and TV programmes. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People are holding different views about whether a nation should source foreign movies and TV shows or produce them locally. Although I admit that promoting domestic films and shows might do wonders for a country to some extent, I strongly believe that the positive effects of importing oversea products outweigh.
On the one hand, producing national films and TV telecasts assists the country with boosting patriotism and maintaining their cultural uniqueness. Through TV shows and movies, the government can convey a positive message which navigates people’s perspectives about their nation. Therefore, it could foster attachment and commitment to the country among their natives, avoiding reactionary thoughts. In addition, the government could relieve cultural assimilation. By watching local products, people in that country can acquire more information about their own culture, resulting in a deeper understanding of the country’s aspects. In fact, many countries have promoted documentaries so that individuals might gain in-depth knowledge about their national history.
On the other hand, it is inevitable that movies and TV programmes bought abroad make a huge contribution to the rich diversity of a nation’s culture. As the import of these productions provides audiences with more entertaining options, people could obtain foreign values belonging to a myriad of different nations and broaden their horizons with a wide range of customs from all over the world. Hence, those values would contribute to the richness of the host country’s traditional background. Moreover, international films and TV broadcasts could perfect the flaws of the country’s set of beliefs. As the media influences the way people think, people from a country might obtain a better mindset from developed countries and become more open-minded. For example, gender discrimination in Asian nations might be alleviated because people have been exposed to Western films and shows.
All things considered, while many people argue that it is advantageous for the country to make their own movies and telecasts, I maintain that sourcing abroad those products has more positive effects. Advisably, the government should make an effort to guarantee the censoring process.

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Errors and Improvements:

"TV telecasts" -> "television broadcasts"
Explanation: "TV telecasts" is redundant and lacks precision. "Television broadcasts" is a more formal and specific term that aligns better with academic writing standards.
"Through TV shows and movies" -> "Via television programs and films"
Explanation: "Through" is overly simplistic in this context. "Via" is a more formal alternative that maintains clarity and sophistication.
"navigates people’s perspectives" -> "shapes people’s perspectives"
Explanation: "Navigates" is an unusual choice here. "Shapes" is a more natural and appropriate term for influencing or molding perspectives.
"attachment and commitment to the country" -> "loyalty and dedication to the nation"
Explanation: "Attachment" is somewhat informal and lacks the specificity needed in academic writing. "Loyalty and dedication" are more precise terms that convey a similar meaning in a formal manner.
"avoiding reactionary thoughts" -> "mitigating reactionary sentiments"
Explanation: "Avoiding" is too casual for academic writing. "Mitigating" is a more sophisticated term that fits the formal tone of the essay.
"the country can acquire more information" -> "citizens can gain more insight"
Explanation: "Acquire more information" is somewhat generic. "Gain more insight" is a more precise and formal phrase for obtaining understanding or knowledge.
"many countries have promoted documentaries" -> "numerous nations have endorsed documentaries"
Explanation: "Promoted" is slightly informal in this context. "Endorsed" is a more formal term that better suits academic writing.
"it is inevitable that movies and TV programmes bought abroad" -> "the inevitability of purchasing foreign movies and TV programs"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks the necessary formality for academic writing. The suggested alternative is more formal and precise.
"make a huge contribution to the rich diversity" -> "contribute significantly to the cultural diversity"
Explanation: "Make a huge contribution" is somewhat colloquial. "Contribute significantly" is a more formal and appropriate phrase for academic writing.
"those values would contribute to the richness" -> "such values would enhance the cultural richness"
Explanation: "Contribute to the richness" is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. "Enhance the cultural richness" provides a more precise and formal expression.
"international films and TV broadcasts could perfect the flaws" -> "foreign films and television broadcasts could rectify the deficiencies"
Explanation: "Perfect the flaws" is too casual for academic writing. "Rectify the deficiencies" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"might obtain a better mindset" -> "might adopt a more progressive mindset"
Explanation: "Obtain a better mindset" lacks specificity and formality. "Adopt a more progressive mindset" is a more precise and formal alternative.
"All things considered" -> "Taking everything into account"
Explanation: "All things considered" is a colloquial phrase. "Taking everything into account" is a more formal and appropriate transition for academic writing.
"Advisably" -> "Accordingly"
Explanation: "Advisably" is informal and less precise. "Accordingly" is a more formal and suitable transition to introduce a recommendation or conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument presented in the prompt. It discusses the benefits of both importing foreign films and TV programs as well as producing domestic ones. Specific examples are provided to support each viewpoint.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, the discussion could be more nuanced by exploring potential drawbacks or counterarguments to each viewpoint. Additionally, providing more explicit references to the prompt throughout the essay would strengthen its coherence.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The preference for importing foreign films and TV programs is consistently supported with reasoning and examples.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, it would be beneficial to reiterate the position in the conclusion to reinforce the stance taken and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas with clear topic sentences and supporting examples. Each paragraph develops a separate aspect of the argument, and transitions between ideas are smooth.
- How to improve: To further extend ideas, the writer could delve deeper into the potential impact of foreign media on cultural values and societal norms. Providing more diverse examples from various cultures would enrich the discussion and strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of importing foreign media versus producing domestic content.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme of the essay. Avoid tangential discussions that do not contribute to the overall argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments, there is room for improvement in providing more nuanced analysis, reinforcing the clarity of the position, enriching the discussion with diverse examples, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a particular aspect of the argument, starting with an introduction that presents both views, followed by body paragraphs that discuss the advantages of producing domestic films and TV shows and the benefits of importing foreign productions. The conclusion neatly summarizes the author’s opinion. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For instance, use transition phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," or "On the contrary" to guide readers through the essay’s progression and enhance the flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and develops it coherently. However, some paragraphs could be more concise to maintain reader engagement.
- How to improve: Consider refining paragraph structure to maintain concise and focused discussion. Avoid overloading paragraphs with multiple ideas, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces its main point. Additionally, strive for a balance between length and depth of analysis in each paragraph to sustain reader interest.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("it," "those," "that"), conjunctions ("although," "on the one hand," "on the other hand"), and transitional phrases ("however," "all things considered"). These cohesive devices help link ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs, contributing to overall coherence. However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and strategic placement of cohesive devices to enhance clarity and coherence further.
- How to improve: Aim to diversify the types of cohesive devices used, incorporating a mix of pronouns, conjunctions, transitional adverbs, and parallel structures. Additionally, ensure cohesive devices are strategically placed to indicate relationships between ideas and reinforce the logical progression of arguments. For example, consider using signpost words like "consequently," "moreover," or "in conclusion" to signal shifts in reasoning and strengthen the essay’s overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating varied terms and expressions to convey ideas effectively. For instance, phrases such as "boosting patriotism," "cultural assimilation," "relieve cultural assimilation," "acquire more information," "broaden their horizons," and "perfect the flaws" showcase lexical diversity. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of formal and informal language, enhancing its overall richness.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider integrating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. Utilizing synonyms or exploring nuanced terminology can elevate the sophistication of the language without compromising clarity. Furthermore, strive to maintain consistency in tone throughout the essay to ensure coherence and cohesion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. However, there are instances where word choice could be refined for greater precision. For example, in the sentence, "the government could relieve cultural assimilation," the term "relieve" might not accurately capture the intended meaning. Similarly, phrases like "perfect the flaws" could be substituted with more precise alternatives to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, carefully consider the connotations and nuances of words before incorporating them into the essay. Aim for clarity and specificity in expression, avoiding ambiguity or vague language. Utilize dictionaries and thesauruses to explore alternative terms that better align with the intended meaning of the text. Additionally, revising sentences to ensure coherence and logical flow can contribute to the overall clarity of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate spelling throughout, with few noticeable errors. However, there are a couple of instances where minor spelling errors occur, such as "oversea" instead of "overseas" and "telecasts" instead of "telecasts." While these errors do not significantly detract from the overall readability of the essay, ensuring consistent spelling accuracy is essential for maintaining professionalism and credibility.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-checking tools or proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Developing a habit of double-checking spelling during the writing process can help minimize mistakes. Additionally, expanding vocabulary and familiarity with commonly misspelled words can further mitigate spelling errors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and conditional constructions. For instance, the essay employs complex sentences such as "Although I admit that promoting domestic films and shows might do wonders for a country to some extent, I strongly believe that the positive effects of importing oversea products outweigh." This structure effectively presents contrasting viewpoints and supports the author’s opinion. Additionally, the use of conditional constructions is evident in phrases like "As the import of these productions provides audiences with more entertaining options, people could obtain foreign values belonging to a myriad of different nations and broaden their horizons with a wide range of customs from all over the world."
- How to improve: To further enhance the richness of expression, consider incorporating more diverse sentence types, such as inversion or rhetorical questions, where appropriate. This can add depth to the argumentation and engage the reader further.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. Complex sentence structures are handled adeptly, with few grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively introduce contrasting viewpoints, demonstrating grammatical accuracy and coherence. Additionally, punctuation is generally used correctly to indicate sentence boundaries and clarify meaning.
- How to improve: While the essay displays proficiency in grammar and punctuation, occasional errors are present, albeit minor. For example, in the sentence "As the media influences the way people think, people from a country might obtain a better mindset from developed countries and become more open-minded," consider adding a comma after "As the media influences the way people think" to improve clarity. Reviewing complex sentence structures for potential punctuation adjustments can help refine the essay’s grammatical accuracy further.

Overall, the essay exhibits a sophisticated command of grammar and sentence structures, contributing to its coherence and persuasiveness. By maintaining this level of proficiency and striving for even greater diversity in sentence construction, the author can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold diverse opinions regarding whether a nation should rely on foreign films and TV shows or create them domestically. While I acknowledge that promoting local productions may benefit a country to some extent, I firmly believe that the advantages of importing overseas content outweigh the drawbacks.

On one hand, producing domestic films and TV programs can foster patriotism and preserve cultural distinctiveness. Via television programs and films, governments can shape people’s perspectives about their nation, fostering loyalty and dedication. Consequently, citizens can gain more insight into their own culture, mitigating reactionary sentiments and promoting a deeper understanding of national history. Accordingly, numerous nations have endorsed documentaries to facilitate this cultural exploration.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that the importation of foreign movies and television broadcasts contributes significantly to the cultural diversity of a nation. By providing audiences with a variety of entertainment options, foreign productions introduce viewers to different values and customs from around the world, enriching the cultural landscape. Moreover, exposure to foreign films and television broadcasts could rectify the deficiencies in a country’s beliefs, potentially leading to the adoption of a more progressive mindset. For instance, gender discrimination in certain regions might decrease as people are influenced by more egalitarian values portrayed in Western media.

Taking everything into account, although some argue for the benefits of producing domestic content, I believe that sourcing foreign films and TV programs has more positive effects. Therefore, it is advisable for governments to ensure an appropriate censoring process to mitigate any potential negative impacts on societal values.