Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of learning a new language at an early age?

In the present day, learning a language is crucial for any individuals who want to be beneficial in the future. Based on that, many people believe that students should start learning new languages at an early age in school, meanwhile others think there is no need at that time. In my personal perspective, I believe that students should be proficient in more than one language when they are young.

As people can see, there are several drawbacks for students studying a language when they are young. First of all, that can cause mix up words. As not many students can remember everything they learned, they may mix up languages when they speak, which is not beneficial to learners if they go to school or communicate with other people. People surrounding them may misunderstand and this can cause several problems. Besides, students can be anxious and overwhelmed as they have a pressure to master a new language as soon as possible for the future exams. As learners study another language, they have to attend more classes and they will have more work to do after class. The continuous learning process may cause learners to be tired and stressful, which makes them unable to concentrate on other subjects and lower their grade.

Nevertheless, there are also plenty of advantages for learners if they study more than one language. First, students who are fluent in two or more languages will help them in their career prospects. Knowing a second language or third language can be a valuable skill for people who want to move up their career ladder. For example, if a person can speak both English and French effortlessly, their boss will tend to let them work on projects that have the attendance of a French or English partner. In addition, students who can eliminate language barriers have more opportunities to get higher education, even from overseas. By that, learners can also widen their social networks with foreign friends and professors, which have a positive effect on their future.

In conclusion, students who learn language when they are young will have a better native accent as well as develop cultural appreciation which greatly supports them in their future.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"In the present day" -> "Currently" or "In contemporary times"
Explanation: "In the present day" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "Currently" or "In contemporary times" to maintain formality and academic style.
"beneficial in the future" -> "advantageous in future endeavors"
Explanation: "Beneficial in the future" is a bit informal. "Advantageous in future endeavors" offers a more sophisticated expression suitable for academic writing.
"Based on that" -> "Given this perspective" or "Considering this viewpoint"
Explanation: "Based on that" is colloquial. "Given this perspective" or "Considering this viewpoint" align better with formal language expectations.
"In my personal perspective" -> "From my viewpoint" or "In my opinion"
Explanation: "In my personal perspective" is redundant and less formal. "From my viewpoint" or "In my opinion" are more concise and suitable for academic discourse.
"As people can see" -> "As evident"
Explanation: "As people can see" is conversational. "As evident" maintains clarity while sounding more formal and academic.
"mix up words" -> "confuse vocabulary"
Explanation: "Mix up words" is informal. "Confuse vocabulary" is a more precise and formal alternative.
"First of all" -> "Primarily" or "Firstly"
Explanation: "First of all" is casual. "Primarily" or "Firstly" are more appropriate for academic writing.
"As not many students can remember everything they learned" -> "Given that retention of learned material varies among students"
Explanation: The original phrase is too casual. The suggested alternative introduces a more formal and precise expression.
"they may mix up languages when they speak" -> "they may inadvertently intermingle languages in their speech"
Explanation: "Mix up languages" is informal. "Inadvertently intermingle languages in their speech" is more formal and descriptive.
"which is not beneficial to learners if they go to school or communicate with other people" -> "which hinders effective communication and academic progress"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and formality. The suggested alternative offers a clearer and more formal expression.
"People surrounding them" -> "Individuals around them"
Explanation: "People surrounding them" is somewhat informal. "Individuals around them" maintains formality in academic writing.
"as they have a pressure" -> "due to the pressure"
Explanation: "As they have a pressure" is grammatically awkward. "Due to the pressure" is a more concise and grammatically correct alternative.
"master a new language as soon as possible for the future exams" -> "attain proficiency in a new language in preparation for future examinations"
Explanation: The original phrase is overly simplistic. The suggested alternative is more precise and formal.
"The continuous learning process may cause learners to be tired and stressful" -> "Continuous learning may induce fatigue and stress among learners"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and formality. The suggested alternative offers a more formal expression.
"which makes them unable to concentrate on other subjects and lower their grade" -> "resulting in reduced focus on other subjects and academic performance"
Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat informal. The suggested alternative maintains formality and clarity.
"Nevertheless" -> "However" or "Nonetheless"
Explanation: "Nevertheless" is slightly informal. "However" or "Nonetheless" are more suitable for academic writing.
"plenty of advantages" -> "numerous benefits"
Explanation: "Plenty of advantages" is colloquial. "Numerous benefits" is more formal and precise.
"fluent in two or more languages" -> "proficient in two or more languages"
Explanation: "Fluent" is a common term but "proficient" is more formal and precise in academic writing.
"effortlessly" -> "fluently" or "with ease"
Explanation: "Effortlessly" is somewhat informal. "Fluently" or "with ease" are more appropriate for academic writing.
"their boss will tend to let them work on projects that have the attendance of a French or English partner" -> "their employer is likely to assign them to projects involving French or English counterparts"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The suggested alternative offers a more formal and precise expression.
"By that" -> "Furthermore" or "In addition"
Explanation: "By that" is informal and unclear. "Furthermore" or "In addition" provide clearer transitions in academic writing.
"which have a positive effect on their future" -> "which positively impacts their future prospects"
Explanation: "Have a positive effect on" can be replaced with "positively impacts" for a more concise and formal expression.
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude" or "In summary"
Explanation: "In conclusion" is a bit overused. "To conclude" or "In summary" offer suitable alternatives for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument regarding the timing of language learning. It discusses advantages and disadvantages of learning a new language at an early age.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the advantages and disadvantages, providing deeper insights into each aspect.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance supporting the idea that students should learn languages at an early age. This position is maintained throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure that every paragraph reinforces the main argument without introducing conflicting viewpoints.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas, but they are not consistently extended or supported with sufficient evidence or examples. For instance, while it mentions drawbacks such as confusion between languages and increased workload, these points lack elaboration and specific illustrations.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation, extend each point with detailed examples or anecdotes, and support them with relevant evidence, such as research findings or personal experiences.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of learning a new language at an early age. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, such as when discussing career prospects and social networks.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic and avoids tangents. Additionally, maintain a clear connection between examples and the central argument to prevent drift.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear stance. To improve, focus on providing more nuanced analysis, extending and supporting ideas with specific examples, and ensuring consistency in relevance and focus throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. Each paragraph addresses either the advantages or disadvantages of learning a new language at an early age. The introduction provides a clear thesis statement, and subsequent paragraphs develop the argument in a coherent manner.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider strengthening the transitions between paragraphs. While each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic, smoother transitions would improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to avoid any potential confusion for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure the discussion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as the drawbacks or advantages of learning a new language early in life. The paragraphs are of appropriate length and contain coherent ideas.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, strive for consistency in paragraph length to maintain a balanced and visually appealing essay structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "First of all," "Nevertheless," and "In conclusion." Additionally, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("they," "their") and repetition of key phrases ("students who…") contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively uses cohesive devices, incorporating a wider range of transitions and connectors could further strengthen coherence. Consider incorporating more diverse transitional phrases and utilizing cohesive devices such as parallelism to create stronger connections between ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some varied word choices such as "crucial," "beneficial," "proficient," "drawbacks," "overwhelmed," "prospects," and "eliminate." However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain words and phrases, such as "language" and "students," which limits the breadth of vocabulary. Additionally, there are opportunities to incorporate more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, strive for greater diversity in word choice. Instead of repeating terms like "language," consider using synonyms such as "linguistic skills," "tongues," or "communication systems" where appropriate. Introduce more specialized vocabulary related to language acquisition, education, and cultural exchange to enrich the essay and demonstrate a broader lexical repertoire.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary with precision, such as "native accent" and "cultural appreciation." However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, where general terms are employed without specificity. For instance, the phrase "beneficial in the future" lacks specificity and could be strengthened with more precise language.
- How to improve: Aim for greater precision by selecting vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Instead of generic phrases like "beneficial in the future," consider specific outcomes or advantages of language learning, such as "enhancing cognitive abilities," "facilitating cross-cultural understanding," or "improving job prospects." Use terminology that precisely reflects the concepts being discussed, enhancing the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors present. However, there are a few instances of misspelled words, such as "attendance" (should be "assistance") and "tongues" (should be "tongue"). While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider incorporating strategies such as proofreading carefully before submission, using spell-check tools, and actively expanding your vocabulary to become more familiar with correct spellings. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or educators to identify and correct spelling errors more effectively. By prioritizing accuracy in spelling, you can enhance the readability and credibility of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is evidence of varied sentence beginnings and lengths, but more sophisticated structures such as inversion or conditional sentences are lacking. For instance, "As people can see" and "In addition" introduce some variety, but more diverse structures would enhance the essay’s coherence and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and add sophistication, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions like "although" or "while" to show contrast or add depth to arguments. Additionally, utilize conditional sentences to speculate or present hypothetical situations. Varying sentence lengths deliberately can also create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy with relatively few errors. However, there are some instances of grammatical mistakes and punctuation errors that affect clarity and precision. For example, "people believe that students should start learning new languages at an early age in school, meanwhile others think there is no need at that time" could be revised for clarity, perhaps as "some people believe that students should start learning new languages at an early age, while others argue there is no need to begin language education so soon." Additionally, there are instances of minor punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure coherence. Proofreading carefully for punctuation errors, especially after introductory phrases and within complex sentences, can help enhance clarity. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify recurring grammatical issues and focus on addressing them systematically. Engaging with grammar resources and practicing writing exercises targeting specific grammar rules can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical structures and punctuation conventions, further diversification of sentence structures and meticulous attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation can elevate the clarity and sophistication of the writing, ultimately enhancing its effectiveness in conveying ideas to the reader.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, acquiring proficiency in a language is advantageous in future endeavors. Given this perspective, there is a debate regarding the optimal age for students to commence language learning. From my viewpoint, initiating language acquisition at a young age holds significant advantages.

As evident, there are certain disadvantages associated with early language learning. Primarily, students may confuse vocabulary from different languages. Given that retention of learned material varies among students, they may inadvertently intermingle languages in their speech, which hinders effective communication and academic progress. Individuals around them may struggle to comprehend, leading to misunderstandings and potential issues. Moreover, due to the pressure to attain proficiency in a new language in preparation for future examinations, students may experience anxiety and feel overwhelmed. Continuous learning may induce fatigue and stress among learners, resulting in reduced focus on other subjects and academic performance.

However, despite these challenges, there are numerous benefits to early language acquisition. Proficiency in two or more languages enhances career prospects. For instance, if individuals are fluent in both English and French, their employer is likely to assign them to projects involving French or English counterparts. Furthermore, eliminating language barriers opens up opportunities for higher education, even from overseas. Additionally, bilingual or multilingual students can expand their social networks, connecting with foreign friends and professors, which positively impacts their future prospects.

To conclude, initiating language learning at a young age offers advantages such as developing a better native accent and fostering cultural appreciation, which greatly supports students in their future endeavors.