Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Many cities around the world have little obligation in the design and construction of residents' houses. Many people believe that they can be allowed to freely choose the style of their new houses. In my opinion, a diversity in housing designs brings more potential drawbacks than advantages to a city.

To begin with, citizens have freedom to select housing designs that offer several benefits. The first advantage is that it fosters their creativity and innovation as they can design their homes in a unique way and they have their personal identity in each settlement. Secondly, buildings that reflect a wide range of architectural styles can enrich a city’s cultural fabric. This increases the attraction of a city and this can enhance the cultural richness and visual appeal of urban environments.

However, many cities which have few regulations on local housing architecture bring some notable disadvantages. Firstly, this arises from the lack of unity and uniformity of houses in the local area. This means that cities can become visually chaotic with a mix of clashing architectural styles without controls. This leads to the detriment of the city's gorgeousness and the number of tourists visiting the area is likely to decrease. For instance, the houses in Hoi An have an ancient beauty which are built in traditional architecture, and most of them were preserved hundreds of years ago. If the house owners make a decision to variate the style and construction in this city, it can lead to a lack of visual and functional cohesion, detracting from the Hoi An's overall special features. Another significant drawback is that the irregular structure determined by the house owners might affect safety and quality of living. This means that less regulation can result in buildings that do not meet safety standards or quality benchmarks. This can pose risks to occupants and lead to long-term maintenance problems. Therefore, Regulations ensure that structures are safe and durable, which is important for public welfare.

In conclusion, though a diversity in architectural styles can bring inhabitants' creativity and cultural expression, the potential for safety issues and lack of aesthetic cohesion are serious concerns.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many cities around the world have little obligation" -> "Many cities worldwide have limited responsibility"
Explanation: "Limited responsibility" is a more precise and formal term than "little obligation," which is vague and informal. It better captures the intended meaning of restricted or defined roles in urban planning and development.
"Many people believe that they can be allowed" -> "Many individuals believe they should be permitted"
Explanation: "Should be permitted" is more direct and formal than "can be allowed," which is somewhat vague and informal. This change clarifies the permission aspect and aligns with academic style.
"a diversity in housing designs brings more potential drawbacks" -> "the diversity in housing designs poses more potential drawbacks"
Explanation: "Poses" is a more precise verb than "brings" in this context, as it directly indicates the introduction of challenges or difficulties, which is more appropriate for discussing potential drawbacks in an academic context.
"citizens have freedom to select" -> "citizens are free to choose"
Explanation: "Are free to choose" is a more natural and formal expression than "have freedom to select," which is slightly awkward and less commonly used in formal writing.
"they can design their homes in a unique way" -> "they can design their homes uniquely"
Explanation: Removing "in a unique way" simplifies the phrase and maintains the formal tone, as "uniquely" is sufficient to convey the intended meaning.
"they have their personal identity in each settlement" -> "they establish their personal identity in each settlement"
Explanation: "Establish" is a more precise verb than "have," which is too vague and informal for academic writing. It accurately describes the process of creating or developing personal identity.
"buildings that reflect a wide range of architectural styles can enrich a city’s cultural fabric" -> "buildings showcasing a diverse range of architectural styles can enrich a city’s cultural fabric"
Explanation: "Showcasing" is a more precise and formal term than "reflect," which is somewhat vague and less specific in this context.
"this can enhance the cultural richness and visual appeal of urban environments" -> "this enhances the cultural richness and visual appeal of urban environments"
Explanation: Changing "can enhance" to "enhances" corrects the tense to match the present general truth, which is more appropriate for an academic discussion.
"many cities which have few regulations" -> "many cities with limited regulations"
Explanation: "With limited regulations" is more concise and formal than "which have few regulations," improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"This leads to the detriment of the city’s gorgeousness" -> "This detracts from the city’s aesthetic appeal"
Explanation: "Detracts from the city’s aesthetic appeal" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase than "leads to the detriment of the city’s gorgeousness," which uses the less formal and less precise term "gorgeousness."
"the irregular structure determined by the house owners" -> "the irregular structures resulting from owner decisions"
Explanation: "Resulting from owner decisions" is more specific and formal than "determined by the house owners," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"less regulation can result in buildings that do not meet safety standards or quality benchmarks" -> "insufficient regulation may lead to buildings that fail to meet safety standards or quality benchmarks"
Explanation: "Insufficient regulation" and "may lead to" are more precise and formal than "less regulation can result in," enhancing the academic tone and clarity of the statement.

These changes refine the vocabulary and style to better suit an academic context, ensuring precision, formality, and clarity in the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of allowing freedom in housing design. The author acknowledges the benefits of creativity and cultural enrichment but ultimately argues that the drawbacks, such as lack of aesthetic cohesion and safety concerns, outweigh these benefits. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the question. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the advantages and disadvantages in a more structured manner, perhaps by using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explicitly outline the advantages in one paragraph and the disadvantages in another, perhaps using a clearer transitional phrase to signal the shift. This would help ensure that each part of the question is distinctly addressed and easily identifiable for the reader.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position is clearly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, which is a strength. The essay maintains a consistent stance that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, there are moments where the language could be more assertive. For example, phrases like "I believe" could be replaced with stronger assertions to reinforce the position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should avoid tentative language and instead use definitive statements. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument with a brief summary of key points at the end of each paragraph could help maintain clarity throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of creativity and the drawbacks of safety and aesthetic concerns. The use of specific examples, like the reference to Hoi An, effectively supports the argument. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on safety could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on key points with additional examples or evidence. Incorporating data or citing studies related to urban design and safety could provide a stronger foundation for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing the implications of design freedom in urban settings. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the arguments presented are relevant. However, the discussion could benefit from a more explicit connection between the points made and the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should consistently link back to the central question in each paragraph. Phrases like "This relates to the question because…" can help reinforce the relevance of each point to the overall argument, ensuring that the essay remains tightly aligned with the prompt throughout.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments in clarity, support, and focus, it could potentially reach an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by distinct body paragraphs that explore both advantages and disadvantages. The first body paragraph effectively discusses the benefits of diverse housing designs, while the second paragraph presents the drawbacks. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be more explicit to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider adding a transitional sentence at the end of the first body paragraph that explicitly signals the shift to discussing disadvantages. For example, a sentence like "Despite these benefits, there are significant drawbacks that must be considered" could serve as a bridge between the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into the advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. Each paragraph is coherent and maintains a clear focus. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences to reinforce the main idea of each point discussed.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each body paragraph to clearly state the main idea. For instance, in the second body paragraph, a topic sentence like "While the freedom in design allows for creativity, it can also lead to significant drawbacks such as visual chaos and safety concerns" would clarify the focus of the paragraph right from the start.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Secondly," and "However," which guide the reader through the argument. The use of phrases like "this means that" and "for instance" also helps in clarifying relationships between ideas. However, there is some repetition in the cohesive devices used, which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a broader range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "this means that," you could vary it with alternatives like "consequently," "as a result," or "thus." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" or "on the one hand… on the other hand," could enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of architecture and urban design. Terms such as "creativity," "cultural fabric," "visual appeal," and "aesthetic cohesion" are effectively employed to convey complex ideas. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "design" and "style" could be replaced with synonyms like "aesthetic," "configuration," or "blueprint" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms during the drafting process. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help expand their lexical repertoire. Additionally, incorporating more specific terms related to architecture could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are a few instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the detriment of the city’s gorgeousness" could be more clearly articulated as "the detriment to the city’s aesthetic appeal." Similarly, "the irregular structure determined by the house owners" could be better phrased as "the irregular structures chosen by homeowners," which would clarify the subject of the sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity in their word choices. It may be beneficial to review sentences for potential ambiguity and replace vague terms with more precise language. Engaging in peer reviews or seeking feedback from knowledgeable sources can also help identify areas where vocabulary may be misused.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "construction," "obligation," and "regulations" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While the spelling is strong, the writer should continue to practice spelling through regular writing exercises and proofreading. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any potential errors before submission. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in English can further enhance spelling skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. By expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively employed, such as "This means that cities can become visually chaotic with a mix of clashing architectural styles without controls." Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "If the house owners make a decision to variate the style and construction in this city," showcases the writer’s ability to manipulate grammatical forms. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly with "This means" and "This can," which could detract from the overall fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "This means" or "This can," the writer might use phrases like "Consequently," "As a result," or "In addition to this." Furthermore, integrating more compound-complex sentences could add depth and sophistication to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the number of tourists visiting the area is likely to decrease" is correctly structured, demonstrating proper subject-verb agreement and tense usage. However, there are a few grammatical inaccuracies, such as "which have few regulations on local housing architecture," where "which" should be replaced with "that" to correctly introduce a restrictive clause. Additionally, punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which is important for public welfare" in the final paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining the use of relative clauses, ensuring that the correct pronouns are used. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help clarify meaning and improve readability. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also aid in minimizing errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By addressing the identified areas for improvement, the writer can further enhance their writing quality and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many cities around the world have little responsibility in the design and construction of residents’ houses. Many people believe that they should be permitted to freely choose the style of their new houses. In my opinion, the diversity in housing designs poses more potential drawbacks than advantages to a city.

To begin with, citizens are free to choose housing designs that offer several benefits. The first advantage is that it fosters their creativity and innovation, as they can design their homes uniquely and establish their personal identity in each settlement. Secondly, buildings that reflect a wide range of architectural styles can enrich a city’s cultural fabric. This increases the attraction of a city and enhances the cultural richness and visual appeal of urban environments.

However, many cities with limited regulations on local housing architecture bring some notable disadvantages. Firstly, this arises from the lack of unity and uniformity of houses in the local area. This means that cities can become visually chaotic with a mix of clashing architectural styles without controls. This detracts from the city’s aesthetic appeal, and the number of tourists visiting the area is likely to decrease. For instance, the houses in Hoi An have an ancient beauty, built in traditional architecture, and most of them were preserved hundreds of years ago. If the homeowners decide to vary the style and construction in this city, it can lead to a lack of visual and functional cohesion, detracting from Hoi An’s overall special features. Another significant drawback is that the irregular structures resulting from owner decisions might affect safety and quality of living. This means that insufficient regulation may lead to buildings that do not meet safety standards or quality benchmarks. This can pose risks to occupants and lead to long-term maintenance problems. Therefore, regulations ensure that structures are safe and durable, which is important for public welfare.

In conclusion, though a diversity in architectural styles can bring inhabitants’ creativity and cultural expression, the potential for safety issues and lack of aesthetic cohesion are serious concerns.