Some people believe that charitable organizations should offer aid to unfortunate people irrespective of country of origin. Meanwhile, others argue that donations should be focused domestically. discuss both opinions and share your own thoughts.

Opinions are divided on charitable organizations’ scope . Some may argue that they should aid unfortunate people irrespective of country of origin, while others argue that donations should be focused domestically . This essay will discuss both views before proposing my viewpoints.

On one hand, it is undeniable that aiding people from other countries has tangible merits. To begin, there are global issues requiring collective efforts from all nations; otherwise they would negatively affect millions of lives Hence, charities should also help citizens in other areas so as to wrestle with such problems . Furthermore, giving donations to other countries can foster a sense of solidarity among them , provoking countries to support one another . This can be beneficial regarding solving pending concerns in the future or collaborate in every field.

On the other hand, we can reap numerous benefits when volunteer organizations narrow their operational scope down to their host countries. Firstly, working domestically can be cost-saving. Without paying travel or transportation expenses, charitable organizations may utilize those expense optimally by giving them to a greater number of underprivileged individuals. Additionally, the absence of language, cultural or religious barriers, facilitates/ streamlines the communication between beneficiaries and donors in which inferior people can share what their needs are. This eventually helps donations more efficiently.

Personally, although aiding people irrespective of nationality may provoke stronger relationships among areas, I believe that charities should allocate both their funds and works to local impoverished people.

In conclusion, while benefits can be deprived when helping people no matter what country they reside in, I contend that focusing on helping local people can bring greater advantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Opinions are divided on charitable organizations’ scope" -> "Opinions vary regarding the scope of charitable organizations"
Explanation: The phrase "Opinions are divided on" is somewhat informal and vague. "Opinions vary regarding" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"aid unfortunate people" -> "assist disadvantaged individuals"
Explanation: "Aid" and "unfortunate people" are somewhat informal and vague. "Assist" and "disadvantaged individuals" are more precise and formal, fitting better in an academic context.
"irrespective of country of origin" -> "regardless of their nationality"
Explanation: "Irrespective of country of origin" is a bit verbose and less formal. "Regardless of their nationality" is concise and maintains the formal tone required for academic writing.
"donations should be focused domestically" -> "donations should be targeted domestically"
Explanation: "Focused" is less specific in this context. "Targeted" is more precise and appropriate for discussing the direction of charitable efforts.
"it is undeniable that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "Undeniable" can imply a level of certainty that may not be universally accepted. "Evident" suggests a conclusion based on facts, which is more suitable for academic discourse.
"aiding people from other countries has tangible merits" -> "assisting individuals in other countries offers tangible benefits"
Explanation: "Aiding people" is less formal than "assisting individuals," and "merits" can be replaced with "benefits" for clarity and formality.
"otherwise they would negatively affect millions of lives" -> "otherwise they could negatively impact millions of lives"
Explanation: "Would negatively affect" is a passive construction that can be made more active and direct with "could negatively impact," enhancing the sentence’s clarity and formality.
"wrestle with such problems" -> "address such challenges"
Explanation: "Wrestle with" is metaphorical and informal for academic writing. "Address" is straightforward and appropriate for formal discussions about problem-solving strategies.
"giving donations to other countries can foster a sense of solidarity among them" -> "providing aid to other countries can foster solidarity among nations"
Explanation: "Giving donations" is less formal than "providing aid," and "among them" is vague. "Among nations" is more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"collaborate in every field" -> "collaborate across various fields"
Explanation: "In every field" is overly broad and informal. "Across various fields" is more specific and formal, indicating a broader scope of collaboration.
"working domestically can be cost-saving" -> "operating domestically can be cost-effective"
Explanation: "Cost-saving" is less formal and slightly vague. "Cost-effective" is a more precise and academically appropriate term.
"facilitates/streamlines the communication" -> "facilitates and streamlines communication"
Explanation: The use of "facilitates/streamlines" is awkward and unclear. Using "facilitates and streamlines" as separate verbs clarifies the meaning and maintains a formal tone.
"inferior people" -> "disadvantaged individuals"
Explanation: "Inferior people" is inappropriate and offensive. "Disadvantaged individuals" is respectful and appropriate for academic writing.
"bring greater advantages" -> "yield greater benefits"
Explanation: "Bring greater advantages" is less formal and slightly vague. "Yield greater benefits" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding charitable organizations’ focus on domestic versus international aid. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and each viewpoint is explored in separate paragraphs. However, the discussion could benefit from more depth, particularly in the second viewpoint, where the advantages of focusing on domestic aid are less thoroughly developed. For instance, while the essay mentions cost-saving and communication benefits, it lacks specific examples or statistics that could strengthen these points.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the benefits of both perspectives. This could involve mentioning specific charitable organizations that have successfully operated in either context or citing statistics that highlight the impact of domestic versus international aid.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear personal stance in the conclusion, stating that charities should focus on local impoverished people. However, the transition from discussing both sides to presenting the writer’s opinion could be smoother. The phrase "I believe that charities should allocate both their funds and works to local impoverished people" introduces some ambiguity, as it suggests a dual focus rather than a clear preference for one side.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their preference earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction, and ensure that the conclusion reinforces this stance without introducing any ambiguity. Clear transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented logically, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific viewpoint. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the essay mentions the benefits of fostering solidarity through international aid, it does not elaborate on how this could lead to tangible outcomes. Similarly, the discussion on domestic aid could be strengthened by elaborating on the types of needs that local charities address.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to extend their ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples. This could involve discussing specific needs that local charities meet or how international aid has historically benefited countries in crisis. Including data or expert opinions can also lend credibility to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For instance, the phrase "benefits can be deprived when helping people no matter what country they reside in" is vague and does not clearly articulate the drawbacks of international aid.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. Clarifying statements and avoiding vague language will help keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, the writer could benefit from summarizing the main points more explicitly at the end of each paragraph to reinforce their relevance to the overall argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, but it could be improved by providing more depth and clarity in the arguments presented.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and a conclusion that summarizes the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, which aids in logical progression. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the merits of aiding individuals from other countries, while the second focuses on the advantages of domestic aid. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, particularly in the second body paragraph where the shift from cost-saving benefits to communication barriers feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, after discussing the cost-saving aspect, you could introduce the communication barriers with a phrase like, "In addition to financial considerations, another significant advantage is…"
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph has a clear focus, and the introduction and conclusion are distinct. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the main argument of the essay. The phrase "we can reap numerous benefits" is somewhat vague and could be more specific.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, instead of "On the other hand, we can reap numerous benefits," you could say, "Focusing charitable efforts domestically yields significant advantages for both organizations and beneficiaries." This will help reinforce the main argument and improve clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices, such as "on one hand," "furthermore," and "additionally," which contribute to the overall coherence. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used, and some sentences feel slightly disjointed. For instance, the phrase "this eventually helps donations more efficiently" lacks a clear connection to the preceding ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "consequently," "as a result," or "thus" to show cause and effect. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used in a context that clearly connects it to the preceding or following sentence. For instance, you could rephrase the last sentence of the second body paragraph to include a cohesive device: "As a result, this streamlined communication ultimately enhances the effectiveness of donations."

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, but with some refinements in logical flow, paragraphing clarity, and the variety of cohesive devices, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and effectiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "unfortunate people," "tangible merits," and "underprivileged individuals." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "aid unfortunate people" and "help citizens in other areas." This indicates a limited lexical variety, which can hinder the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "aid" and "help," alternatives like "assist," "support," or "provide relief" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to charity and social issues, such as "philanthropy," "alleviate poverty," or "social responsibility," would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the absence of language, cultural or religious barriers, facilitates/ streamlines the communication." The phrase "facilitates/ streamlines" is awkwardly constructed and could confuse readers regarding the intended meaning. Additionally, "inferior people" is a problematic term that lacks sensitivity and precision.
- How to improve: The writer should aim for more precise vocabulary choices. For example, instead of "inferior people," terms like "marginalized communities" or "disadvantaged individuals" would be more appropriate and respectful. Furthermore, the phrase "facilitates/ streamlines" should be revised to a single, clear verb, such as "enhances" or "improves," to convey the intended meaning effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "expense" used inappropriately in the context of "utilize those expense optimally." The correct plural form should be "expenses." Additionally, the phrase "collaborate in every field" could be misinterpreted due to unclear wording.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and pluralization. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or grammar checking software can also help identify errors. Regular practice with vocabulary lists and writing exercises can further solidify spelling skills.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for IELTS Task 2 essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of conditional structures in "if they would negatively affect millions of lives" shows an understanding of more advanced grammatical forms. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, such as "On one hand" and "On the other hand," which could be varied for better flow. Additionally, phrases like "this can be beneficial regarding solving pending concerns" could be restructured for clarity and conciseness.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider using different introductory phrases or clauses. For instance, instead of starting with "On one hand," you could use "One perspective is that…" or "Supporters of international aid argue that…". Additionally, practice combining shorter sentences into more complex ones to reduce redundancy and improve coherence. Experimenting with different sentence types, such as questions or exclamatory sentences, can also add variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally good command of grammar and punctuation, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "charitable organizations’ scope ." contains an unnecessary space before the period, which detracts from professionalism. Additionally, the sentence "the absence of language, cultural or religious barriers, facilitates/ streamlines the communication" incorrectly uses a slash, which is not appropriate in formal writing. There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as "this eventually helps donations more efficiently," which could be clearer.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding the placement of commas and periods. Avoid using informal symbols like slashes in formal essays. Instead, rephrase sentences to enhance clarity; for example, "this eventually helps donations to be distributed more efficiently" would be clearer. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common punctuation rules can also help solidify these skills. Consider reading your essay aloud to catch awkward phrasing or punctuation errors that may be overlooked during silent reading.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions are divided on the scope of charitable organizations. Some argue that they should assist disadvantaged individuals regardless of their nationality, while others contend that donations should be focused domestically. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own perspective.

On one hand, it is evident that aiding people from other countries offers tangible benefits. To begin with, there are global issues that require collective efforts from all nations; otherwise, they could negatively impact millions of lives. Hence, charities should also help citizens in other areas to address such challenges. Furthermore, providing aid to other countries can foster solidarity among nations, encouraging them to support one another. This collaboration can be beneficial in solving pressing concerns in the future across various fields.

On the other hand, we can reap numerous benefits when charitable organizations narrow their operational scope to their host countries. Firstly, operating domestically can be cost-effective. By avoiding travel or transportation expenses, charitable organizations can allocate those funds optimally to assist a greater number of disadvantaged individuals. Additionally, the absence of language, cultural, or religious barriers facilitates and streamlines communication between beneficiaries and donors, allowing those in need to express their requirements more clearly. This ultimately helps ensure that donations are used more efficiently.

Personally, although assisting individuals in other countries may strengthen relationships among nations, I believe that charities should prioritize their funds and efforts towards local impoverished people.

In conclusion, while there are benefits to helping people regardless of their country of origin, I contend that focusing on assisting local individuals can yield greater advantages.