Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some argue that youngster should be given adequate and challenging homework to help them achieve their academic goals. While others contend that children should not be burdened with excessive assignments in order to promote a more joyful and relaxed learning environment. This essay will discuss both perspectives, and I am side with the latter viewpoint.
On the one hand, I advocate for those who believe that homework is an unecessary burden on children. Initially, the excessive workload may lead to metal and psychological health issues among students. In extreme cases, they can undergo emotional distress, such as feeling of distraction, depressed and even severe conditions like insomina. For example, in China, students are often required to complete a significant amount of homework daily, sometimes staying up until 3 a.m. to finish their assignments. This intense workload can lead to severe exhaustion and, in some cases, students may experience psychological issues as a result of the overwhelming pressure from excessive homework. Furthermore, not having homework everyday allows students to spend time on personal development activities, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling educational experience. This approach affords them the opportunity for leisure and self-discovery. When they attend in some physical activities, comprising football and badminton, it not only helps them increase strength and build muscle but also improve their communication skills and destress. Otherwise, some games like chess and puzzle can boost kids logical thinking, memory ability and advance their problem-solving skills. While finishing homework is crucial for revising knowledge, developing life skills is equally essential. Individuals cannot effectively navigate the challenges and obstacles of life without the necessary life skills to address them, and they are vital for managing real-world situations and ensuring long-term success and well-being
On the other hand, there are those who assert that homework has an important role to play in the schooling of children. One argument that is assignments encourage independent learning and problem solving, as children are challenged to work through tasks alone and at their own pace. Completing assignments helps students to review the knowledge they have been taught, which can enhance long-term retention of the material. By revisiting and applying what they have learned through homework, students are more likely to recall information more effectively in the future. Another justification is that these excercises help undergraduates solidify their understanding and achieve higher score or grade in their examinations. By regularly practicing and applying what they have learned, students consolidate their understanding of the concepts, and they are better prepared for tests and assessments, ultimately improving their academic performance. For instance, Asian parents often require their children to take a tutoring class at night, leading to kids having many aduous tasks. Consequently, most Asian teenagers have a higher score compared to their peers
In conclusion, although giving homework to students allow them to remember the lesson in class, while not providing homework might give students a chance to explore their unique interest. I support the second idea that a student should be allowed to express their strong side and develop their necessary skills in lieu of following a strict curriculum.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"youngster" -> "children"
Explanation: "Youngster" is somewhat informal and less precise in an academic context. "Children" is more commonly used in formal writing and is universally understood to refer to individuals in the early stages of life.
"adequate and challenging" -> "sufficiently challenging"
Explanation: The phrase "adequate and challenging" is redundant. "Sufficiently challenging" eliminates redundancy and maintains the intended meaning, enhancing the formal tone of the essay.
"unecessary" -> "unnecessary"
Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction to ensure the text adheres to standard English spelling rules.
"metal and psychological health issues" -> "mental and psychological health issues"
Explanation: "Metal" is a typographical error; the correct term is "mental," referring to the mind or psychological well-being.
"feeling of distraction, depressed and even severe conditions like insomina" -> "feelings of distraction, depression, and severe conditions such as insomnia"
Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and uses the correct term "insomnia" for clarity and formality. Also, "feeling of" should be "feelings of" to match the plural form of "distraction" and "depression."
"not having homework everyday" -> "not having homework every day"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure to "every day" for proper adverbial use.
"attend in some physical activities" -> "participate in various physical activities"
Explanation: "Attend in" is incorrect; "participate in" is the correct phrase for engaging in activities. Also, "some" is vague; "various" is more precise and formal.
"comprising football and badminton" -> "including football and badminton"
Explanation: "Comprising" is typically used to describe a list of items that make up a whole, whereas "including" is more appropriate for listing examples of activities.
"boost kids logical thinking" -> "enhance children’s logical thinking"
Explanation: "Boost" is somewhat informal and imprecise; "enhance" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. Also, "kids" is informal; "children" is preferred in formal contexts.
"destress" -> "reduce stress"
Explanation: "Destress" is not a standard term; "reduce stress" is the correct phrase for decreasing stress levels.
"undergraduates" -> "students"
Explanation: "Undergraduates" specifically refers to students pursuing a bachelor’s degree, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Students" is more general and appropriate for the context.
"higher score or grade" -> "better grades"
Explanation: "Higher score or grade" is awkward and redundant; "better grades" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.
"aduas tasks" -> "arduous tasks"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error to "arduous," which means requiring great effort or difficulty.
"allow them to remember the lesson in class" -> "facilitate retention of classroom material"
Explanation: "Allow them to remember the lesson in class" is informal and vague; "facilitate retention of classroom material" is more precise and formal.
"give students a chance to explore their unique interest" -> "provide students with opportunities to explore their individual interests"
Explanation: "Give students a chance" is informal; "provide students with opportunities" is more formal and precise. Also, "unique interest" should be pluralized to "individual interests" for grammatical correctness and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding homework. The first paragraph outlines the perspective against daily homework, discussing its potential negative effects on mental health and the benefits of personal development. The second paragraph presents the opposing viewpoint, highlighting the importance of homework for independent learning and academic success. However, while both sides are discussed, the essay could have benefited from a more balanced exploration of each argument, as the second viewpoint is less developed.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations for both sides. This could involve elaborating on the benefits of homework with specific instances or statistics, as well as addressing counterarguments to strengthen the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of not assigning homework daily, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. However, the transition from discussing both sides to the final opinion could be made smoother. The phrase "I am side with the latter viewpoint" is somewhat awkward and could confuse readers about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, use more definitive language when stating your position. For example, instead of "I am side with the latter viewpoint," consider saying, "I firmly support the viewpoint that children should not be given homework every day." Additionally, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments made while reinforcing your stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the negative impact of excessive homework on mental health and the benefits of personal development activities. However, some points lack depth and supporting evidence. For instance, the mention of "students may experience psychological issues" could be strengthened with specific studies or expert opinions to lend credibility.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, incorporate more concrete examples and data. When discussing the benefits of personal development activities, consider including specific studies or statistics that demonstrate their positive impact on children’s well-being and academic performance.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate surrounding homework. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off course, such as when detailing specific activities like chess and puzzles without directly linking them back to the central argument about homework.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples and discussions directly relate back to the topic of homework. When introducing activities, clearly connect them to the argument that less homework allows for more personal development and skill acquisition. This will help reinforce the central theme and maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by discussing both sides of the argument regarding homework. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are dedicated to each viewpoint. However, there are moments where the logical progression could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the negative impacts of homework to the benefits of not having it could be smoother. The essay does present a logical flow, but the connections between ideas could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Conversely," "In contrast," or "On the other hand" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Structuring the paragraphs to first present a point, followed by supporting details, and then a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument can also improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, which helps in maintaining clarity. However, the first body paragraph is somewhat lengthy and could benefit from being split into two distinct paragraphs—one focusing on the negative effects of homework and the other on the benefits of a homework-free environment. This would allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. Aim for a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples. Additionally, consider the length of paragraphs; shorter paragraphs can enhance readability and allow for more digestible information.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help in contrasting the two viewpoints. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Some phrases are repeated, which can detract from the overall fluidity of the writing. For example, the use of "for example" is prevalent, but incorporating other cohesive devices such as "for instance," "additionally," or "furthermore" could enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, practice incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. This can include using synonyms or varying the structure of sentences to connect ideas. Additionally, consider using more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also," "despite this," or "in light of this," to create more sophisticated connections between ideas. This will not only improve cohesion but also elevate the overall quality of the writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "burdened," "psychological health issues," "personal development activities," and "independent learning." These words effectively convey the writer’s arguments. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "homework" could be substituted with synonyms like "assignments" or "tasks" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To elevate the score, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "homework," they could use "academic tasks" or "study assignments." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to education and psychology could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains generally appropriate vocabulary, there are some instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "feeling of distraction" should be corrected to "feelings of distraction" to ensure grammatical accuracy. Additionally, "metal and psychological health issues" should be "mental and psychological health issues." Such errors can detract from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on ensuring that vocabulary is used accurately and in the correct form. A careful proofreading process can help catch these errors. Furthermore, using contextually appropriate phrases, such as "emotional distress" instead of "feeling of distraction," will enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "unecessary" (should be "unnecessary"), "metal" (should be "mental"), "insomina" (should be "insomnia"), and "excersises" (should be "exercises"). These mistakes indicate a need for more attention to detail in spelling.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, utilize spell-check tools, and read their work aloud to catch errors. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial. Additionally, taking the time to proofread the essay before submission will help identify and correct these mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, attention to precision and spelling is necessary for achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource. By incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of introductory phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively structures the argument. However, some sentences are overly complex or awkwardly constructed, which can hinder clarity. For instance, the sentence "Individuals cannot effectively navigate the challenges and obstacles of life without the necessary life skills to address them" is lengthy and could be simplified for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider using more varied sentence openings and lengths. Incorporate a mix of shorter, impactful sentences alongside longer, more complex ones. Additionally, ensure that complex sentences are clear and concise. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help in achieving this balance.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall quality. For example, "youngster" should be pluralized to "youngsters," and "mental" is misspelled as "metal." Additionally, phrases like "feeling of distraction" should be corrected to "feelings of distraction." Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas that would clarify sentence structure, particularly in lists (e.g., "physical activities, comprising football and badminton" could benefit from clearer punctuation).
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify and correct errors. Moreover, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in lists and clauses, will enhance clarity. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and engaging in writing exercises focused on these areas will also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable range of grammatical structures and generally conveys the intended message, attention to detail in grammar and punctuation, as well as further diversification of sentence structures, will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some argue that children should be given sufficient and challenging homework to help them achieve their academic goals. While others contend that children should not be burdened with excessive assignments in order to promote a more joyful and relaxed learning environment. This essay will discuss both perspectives, and I side with the latter viewpoint.

On the one hand, I advocate for those who believe that homework is an unnecessary burden on children. Initially, the excessive workload may lead to mental and psychological health issues among students. In extreme cases, they can undergo emotional distress, such as feelings of distraction, depression, and even severe conditions like insomnia. For example, in China, students are often required to complete a significant amount of homework daily, sometimes staying up until 3 a.m. to finish their assignments. This intense workload can lead to severe exhaustion, and in some cases, students may experience psychological issues as a result of the overwhelming pressure from excessive homework. Furthermore, not having homework every day allows students to spend time on personal development activities, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling educational experience. This approach affords them the opportunity for leisure and self-discovery. When they participate in various physical activities, including football and badminton, it not only helps them increase strength and build muscle but also improves their communication skills and reduces stress. Additionally, some games like chess and puzzles can enhance children’s logical thinking, memory ability, and advance their problem-solving skills. While finishing homework is crucial for revising knowledge, developing life skills is equally essential. Individuals cannot effectively navigate the challenges and obstacles of life without the necessary life skills to address them, and these skills are vital for managing real-world situations and ensuring long-term success and well-being.

On the other hand, there are those who assert that homework has an important role to play in the schooling of children. One argument is that assignments encourage independent learning and problem-solving, as children are challenged to work through tasks alone and at their own pace. Completing assignments helps students to review the knowledge they have been taught, which can facilitate retention of classroom material. By revisiting and applying what they have learned through homework, students are more likely to recall information more effectively in the future. Another justification is that these exercises help students solidify their understanding and achieve better grades in their examinations. By regularly practicing and applying what they have learned, students consolidate their understanding of the concepts, and they are better prepared for tests and assessments, ultimately improving their academic performance. For instance, Asian parents often require their children to take a tutoring class at night, leading to kids having many arduous tasks. Consequently, most Asian teenagers have higher scores compared to their peers.

In conclusion, although giving homework to students allows them to remember the lessons in class, not providing homework might give students a chance to explore their individual interests. I support the second idea that students should be allowed to express their strengths and develop their necessary skills instead of following a strict curriculum.