Some people believe that countries should produce food to feed their populations themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the ongoing debates about whether countries should focus on producing their own food rather than relying on imports have intensified. While some advocate for self-sufficiency in food production to stimulate the economy and generate employment, others argue that it may not always be feasible or advantageous in the long term. This essay will explore both perspectives before concluding that a balanced strategy is most advisable.

To begin with, producing food locally can have significant economic benefits. It helps strengthen a nation’s economy by reducing dependency on external markets, which may be volatile. Moreover, local agriculture supports local businesses and farmers, resulting in job creation and economic growth. For instance, countries such as Japan have invested significantly in their agriculture sector, which has not only made them more self-sufficient but also provided stable employment for many citizens.

However, focusing solely on self-sufficiency may not be the most practical approach for every nation. Some countries do not have the necessary resources or favorable climate conditions to produce a wide variety of foods efficiently. For example, countries in the Middle East that are characterized by harsh desert conditions would face challenges in producing sufficient food to meet their populations’ needs. Additionally, imports can offer consumers access to a greater variety of foods, frequently at higher quality and lower prices than what could be produced locally.

In conclusion, while there are undeniable advantages to producing food locally, the practicality and benefits of relying solely on domestic production are limited. A more balanced approach, where countries produce what they can efficiently and rely on imports to fill the gaps, would likely prove more beneficial in the long run.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent years" -> "In the recent years"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "years" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and precise.
"ongoing debates" -> "ongoing discussions"
Explanation: "Discussions" is more specific and academically appropriate than "debates," which can imply a more confrontational tone.
"intensified" -> "intensified significantly"
Explanation: Adding "significantly" clarifies the extent of the intensification, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"advocate for" -> "advocate in favor of"
Explanation: "In favor of" is a more formal and precise phrase than "for," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.
"may not always be feasible" -> "may not always be practical"
Explanation: "Practical" is more specific and relevant to the context of economic and agricultural discussions than "feasible," which can imply technical or theoretical feasibility.
"balanced strategy" -> "balanced approach"
Explanation: "Approach" is more commonly used in academic and formal contexts to describe a method or methodological strategy, making it more suitable than "strategy."
"significant economic benefits" -> "substantial economic benefits"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more precise adjective than "significant," which can be somewhat vague and overused in academic writing.
"volatile" -> "unpredictable"
Explanation: "Unpredictable" better captures the uncertainty and variability in external markets, which is more specific to the context of economic fluctuations.
"local businesses and farmers" -> "local businesses and agricultural producers"
Explanation: "Agricultural producers" is a more specific term that encompasses farmers, which enhances the formality and precision of the language.
"provided stable employment" -> "provided stable employment opportunities"
Explanation: Adding "opportunities" clarifies that the employment is not only stable but also available, which is more specific and formal.
"frequently at higher quality and lower prices" -> "often at higher quality and lower prices"
Explanation: "Often" is a more formal alternative to "frequently," aligning better with academic style.
"would likely prove more beneficial" -> "would likely be more beneficial"
Explanation: Removing "prove" simplifies the sentence structure and aligns with the passive voice, which is commonly used in formal academic writing.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding self-sufficiency in food production versus reliance on imports. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and the body paragraphs provide relevant examples to support each viewpoint. For instance, the mention of Japan’s investment in agriculture illustrates the benefits of local production, while the example of Middle Eastern countries highlights the limitations of self-sufficiency. This balanced exploration demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could explicitly state the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the prompt in the introduction. A more definitive stance would clarify the author’s position and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that advocates for a balanced strategy, which is articulated in the conclusion. However, the position could be more pronounced throughout the essay. While the author presents both perspectives, the argument for a balanced approach could be emphasized more consistently in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the author could include transitional phrases that reinforce their stance, such as "This leads me to believe that…" or "Ultimately, I argue that…". Additionally, reiterating the main argument in each body paragraph would help to keep the reader focused on the author’s viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, supported by relevant examples. The economic benefits of local food production are clearly articulated, and the challenges faced by certain countries are effectively illustrated. However, the essay could benefit from deeper exploration of the implications of each argument, particularly regarding the long-term consequences of relying on imports versus local production.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of the argument, the author could include more specific examples or statistics to support claims. For instance, discussing the impact of food imports on local economies or the environmental implications of food production could provide a more nuanced understanding of the issue.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the merits and drawbacks of both self-sufficiency and reliance on imports. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. The structure is logical, leading the reader through the discussion effectively.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author could ensure that each point made directly ties back to the central argument of a balanced approach. This can be achieved by explicitly linking examples back to the main thesis in the concluding sentences of each paragraph, reinforcing the relevance of each point to the overall argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the complexities of the issue. With slight adjustments to clarify the position and deepen the analysis, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, with the first paragraph discussing the benefits of local food production, while the second addresses the limitations of this approach. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s balanced perspective. For instance, the transition from discussing economic benefits to the challenges faced by certain countries is smooth and logical, enhancing the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit transitional phrases between the paragraphs. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the second paragraph could help signal the shift in focus more clearly. Additionally, including a brief outline of the points to be discussed in the introduction could provide readers with a clearer roadmap of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and presents the benefits of local food production, while the second paragraph discusses the limitations. The conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion. Each paragraph is well-structured, containing a clear topic sentence and supporting details, which contributes to the overall clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could consider expanding the second paragraph to include more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made about the limitations of self-sufficiency. This would not only provide more depth to the argument but also enhance the paragraph’s effectiveness. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument could strengthen the overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "for instance," which effectively connect ideas and help the reader follow the argument. The use of these devices contributes to the smooth flow of information and enhances the clarity of the essay. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of local production to the challenges faced by certain countries is well-handled with the use of "however."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using alternatives to "however," such as "nevertheless" or "on the contrary," could add variety to the writing. Additionally, the writer could benefit from using more complex cohesive devices, such as referencing back to previously mentioned ideas (e.g., using pronouns or synonyms) to create a more interconnected narrative throughout the essay. This would enhance the overall cohesion and make the argument more compelling.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing transitions, expanding on ideas within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively utilizing terms such as "self-sufficiency," "dependency," "volatile," and "characterized." These choices reflect an understanding of the topic and contribute to the clarity of the argument. The use of phrases like "economic growth" and "job creation" further showcases the writer’s ability to employ relevant vocabulary in context.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary even further, consider incorporating more varied synonyms or expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "produce" in different forms, alternatives like "cultivate" or "harvest" could be used. Additionally, integrating more complex phrases or idiomatic expressions related to economics or agriculture could elevate the lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, particularly in the context of discussing economic implications and agricultural practices. Terms like "self-sufficient" and "local agriculture" are aptly used to convey specific meanings. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved; for example, the phrase "the practicality and benefits of relying solely on domestic production are limited" could be more effectively expressed with a clearer distinction between "practicality" and "feasibility."
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on refining word choices that convey exact meanings. For instance, when discussing the limitations of domestic production, consider using "sustainability" or "viability" to clarify the context. Additionally, ensure that the terms used are not only relevant but also accurately reflect the nuances of the argument being presented.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "advocate," "intensified," and "characterized" are spelled correctly, demonstrating the writer’s command of English orthography.
- How to improve: While spelling is already strong, it is beneficial to maintain this level of accuracy through regular practice. Engaging in activities such as reading extensively or using spelling apps can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can catch any inadvertent errors that may arise in the writing process.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their writing to achieve even higher scores in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the opening sentence: “In recent years, the ongoing debates about whether countries should focus on producing their own food rather than relying on imports have intensified.” This sentence effectively combines multiple clauses, showcasing the writer’s ability to convey complex ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, such as “if” and “may,” adds depth to the argument. However, while the range is good, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way supporting points are introduced (e.g., “To begin with” and “However”).
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied transitional phrases and introductory clauses. For instance, instead of repeatedly using “To begin with” or “However,” you could use alternatives like “Initially,” “On the other hand,” or “Conversely.” Additionally, integrating more compound-complex sentences can enhance the complexity of the writing. For example, instead of saying, “Some countries do not have the necessary resources,” you could say, “While some countries lack the necessary resources, others may find themselves with an abundance, leading to disparities in food production capabilities.”
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with very few errors. For instance, subject-verb agreement is consistently maintained, as seen in the phrase “local agriculture supports local businesses and farmers.” Punctuation is also used effectively, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a minor issue with the use of commas in complex sentences, such as in the sentence “For example, countries in the Middle East that are characterized by harsh desert conditions would face challenges in producing sufficient food to meet their populations’ needs.” A comma after “Middle East” could improve clarity by indicating a pause before the descriptive clause.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy further, pay attention to the placement of commas in complex sentences. Reviewing rules for comma usage, particularly in relation to non-defining relative clauses, can be beneficial. Additionally, consider proofreading for any minor errors that may be overlooked during writing. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation rules, can also help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With slight adjustments to sentence variety and punctuation, the essay could achieve even higher levels of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the ongoing discussions about whether countries should focus on producing their own food rather than relying on imports have intensified significantly. While some advocate in favor of self-sufficiency in food production to stimulate the economy and generate employment, others argue that it may not always be practical or advantageous in the long term. This essay will explore both perspectives before concluding that a balanced approach is most advisable.

To begin with, producing food locally can have substantial economic benefits. It helps strengthen a nation’s economy by reducing dependency on external markets, which may be unpredictable. Moreover, local agriculture supports local businesses and agricultural producers, resulting in job creation and economic growth. For instance, countries such as Japan have invested significantly in their agriculture sector, which has not only made them more self-sufficient but also provided stable employment opportunities for many citizens.

However, focusing solely on self-sufficiency may not be the most practical approach for every nation. Some countries do not have the necessary resources or favorable climate conditions to produce a wide variety of foods efficiently. For example, countries in the Middle East that are characterized by harsh desert conditions would face challenges in producing sufficient food to meet their populations’ needs. Additionally, imports can offer consumers access to a greater variety of foods, often at higher quality and lower prices than what could be produced locally.