Some people believe that governments should provide free healthcare for the elderly. Others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own healthcare costs in old age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that the government should provide free healthcare costs for elderly, while others think that individuals should be responsible for their own healthcare cost. This essay will discuss both views and suggest some opinion that the government should free healthcare for old age is the best answer.
Some individuals support that government should spend money for old age healthcare. They believe that elderly should be taken care when they retire. This essay agrees with this view because they spent half a part of their youth contributing to society and national prosperity. Therefore, old age can be detected disease promptly and treated early to decrease disease recurrence. For example, the Japanese government decided to give the elderly free medical examination in some areas to show gratitude for their contribution. In my opinion, i think that government should create a free healthcare cost strategy for elderly, which they will check their general health once a month to ensure and maintain their health.
In contrast, others feel citizens should be responsible for their own healthcare costs. They think that elderly are unlimited in their life expense. The essay disagrees with this view because they are too much old to be able to continue to work. This way significantly impact on family economics and plummet the greater quality of life. For instance, a survey in 2022 showed that most of the quality of life in India was reduced partly due to high medical examination costs, wich people cannot afford it. To be honest, i suggest that the elderly should pay for life insurance, which reduces part of the cost of medical examination and treatment to balance the quality of life.
In conclusion, although there are strong arguments to paying for own healthcare, goverment should be free healthcare for the elderly as a more suitable option because old age are limited in their life expenditure and they should be looked after when they retire.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some people claim" -> "Some individuals argue"
Explanation: "Argue" is a more precise term in academic writing, indicating a formal discussion or presentation of a viewpoint, which is more suitable than the more casual "claim."
"free healthcare costs" -> "comprehensive healthcare coverage"
Explanation: "Comprehensive healthcare coverage" is a more precise and formal term that encompasses the idea of free healthcare costs, aligning better with academic style.
"individuals should be responsible for their own healthcare cost" -> "individuals should bear the cost of their healthcare"
Explanation: "Bear the cost" is a more formal expression that is commonly used in academic and professional contexts to describe financial responsibility.
"Some individuals support that government should spend money for old age healthcare" -> "Some individuals advocate for government expenditure on healthcare for the elderly"
Explanation: "Advocate for" is more formal and precise than "support that," and "government expenditure on healthcare for the elderly" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea.
"they spent half a part of their youth" -> "they have contributed half their lives"
Explanation: "Have contributed half their lives" is a clearer and more direct way to express the idea of devoting a significant portion of one’s life to society and national prosperity.
"old age can be detected disease" -> "the elderly can be diagnosed with diseases"
Explanation: "Diagnosed with diseases" is the correct medical terminology, and "the elderly" is a more formal term than "old age."
"decrease disease recurrence" -> "reduce the recurrence of diseases"
Explanation: "Reduce the recurrence of diseases" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of decreasing the frequency of illnesses.
"give the elderly free medical examination" -> "provide free medical examinations to the elderly"
Explanation: "Provide" is a more formal verb than "give," and "to the elderly" is grammatically correct.
"i think" -> "I believe"
Explanation: Capitalizing "I" is necessary for proper grammar, and "believe" is a more formal alternative to "think."
"create a free healthcare cost strategy" -> "develop a comprehensive healthcare strategy"
Explanation: "Develop a comprehensive healthcare strategy" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear "free healthcare cost strategy."
"they will check their general health once a month" -> "they will undergo regular health checks"
Explanation: "Undergo regular health checks" is a more formal and precise way to describe the process of periodic health assessments.
"unlimited in their life expense" -> "unlimited in their expenses"
Explanation: "Expenses" is the correct noun form, and "unlimited" is more appropriate in this context to describe the lack of financial constraints.
"too much old to be able to continue to work" -> "too old to continue working"
Explanation: "Too old to continue working" is grammatically correct and more concise.
"This way significantly impact on family economics" -> "This approach significantly impacts family economics"
Explanation: "Impacts" is the correct verb form, and "approach" is a more formal term than "way."
"plummet the greater quality of life" -> "adversely affect the quality of life"
Explanation: "Adversely affect" is a more precise and formal way to describe the negative impact on quality of life.
"wich people cannot afford it" -> "which many people cannot afford"
Explanation: "Which" is the correct relative pronoun, and "many people" is a more precise and formal expression than "people."
"pay for life insurance" -> "purchase life insurance"
Explanation: "Purchase" is a more formal verb than "pay" in this context, and it is more commonly used in insurance discussions.
"reduces part of the cost of medical examination and treatment" -> "reduces the cost of medical examinations and treatments"
Explanation: "Reduces the cost of medical examinations and treatments" is grammatically correct and more formal, avoiding the awkward "part of the cost."
"goverment should be free healthcare for the elderly" -> "the government should provide free healthcare to the elderly"
Explanation: "Provide" is the correct verb, and "to the elderly" is grammatically necessary to complete the sentence structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding healthcare for the elderly, presenting arguments for government-provided healthcare and individual responsibility. However, the discussion of the opposing view is less developed. For instance, while the essay mentions that individuals should be responsible for their healthcare costs, it does not explore this perspective in depth or provide strong supporting arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay should provide a more balanced discussion by elaborating on the reasons why some believe individuals should bear their own healthcare costs. Including more examples or evidence to support this viewpoint would create a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the government should provide free healthcare for the elderly. However, the phrasing in some areas, such as "suggest some opinion," is vague and could lead to confusion about the author’s stance. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the main argument but lacks a strong, definitive statement that encapsulates the author’s position.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, the author should use more assertive language when stating their opinion. Phrases like "I firmly believe" or "It is essential that" can strengthen the position. Furthermore, ensuring that each paragraph consistently ties back to this central argument will help reinforce the overall stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly in favor of government healthcare, but the support for these ideas is sometimes weak or underdeveloped. For example, the mention of Japan providing free medical examinations is relevant but could be expanded with more context or additional examples. The argument regarding the economic impact on families is also introduced but lacks sufficient elaboration.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the author should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This could involve discussing the implications of government healthcare on society or providing statistics that illustrate the financial burden of healthcare on families. Additionally, using a variety of examples from different countries or contexts can strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the healthcare needs of the elderly. However, there are moments where the relevance of certain points is unclear, such as the mention of life insurance, which feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument about government responsibility.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. Avoiding tangential ideas and instead elaborating on the implications of the main arguments will help keep the essay on track. A clear outline before writing could assist in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each point contributes to the overall discussion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear opinion, it can be improved by providing more balanced arguments, clearer language, better-supported ideas, and maintaining a tighter focus on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by introducing the topic, discussing both viewpoints, and concluding with a personal opinion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing government support to individual responsibility lacks clarity, making it somewhat abrupt. The argument about the elderly’s contributions to society is valid but could be better linked to the need for government support.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the main argument. Additionally, ensure that each point builds on the previous one, creating a more cohesive narrative. For example, after discussing government support, explicitly state how this contrasts with the individual responsibility viewpoint before diving into that argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph introduces the topic but does not clearly outline the two views. The second and third paragraphs contain mixed ideas that could be better organized into distinct sections for clarity.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. For instance, the first paragraph could clearly outline the argument for government-provided healthcare, while the second could focus solely on the individual responsibility viewpoint. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, followed by supporting details.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "in contrast" and "for example," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions are awkward. For instance, the phrase "To be honest" in the third paragraph feels informal and disrupts the academic tone.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using a wider variety of linking phrases and connectors, such as "on the other hand," "furthermore," and "in addition." Additionally, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. For example, instead of "To be honest," a more formal transition could be "It is also worth considering that…"

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve greater coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it tends to rely on common phrases and lacks variety. For instance, terms like "elderly," "healthcare," and "cost" are repeated without synonyms or alternative expressions. This repetition can make the writing feel monotonous. Additionally, phrases such as "government should provide" and "individuals should be responsible" are overly simplistic and could be expressed in more sophisticated ways.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "elderly," you could use "senior citizens," "aged population," or "older adults." Additionally, explore more varied phrases for expressing opinions, such as "it is imperative that" or "one could argue that."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "free healthcare costs for elderly" is awkward; it would be clearer to say "free healthcare for the elderly." Similarly, the expression "they are too much old" is incorrect; the intended meaning is unclear and should be rephrased to "they are often too old."
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and accuracy in word choice. Review phrases for grammatical correctness and clarity. For example, instead of "old age can be detected disease promptly," consider rephrasing to "diseases can be detected promptly in older adults." Additionally, ensure that phrases convey the intended meaning without ambiguity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "goverment" (should be "government"), "wich" (should be "which"), and "i" (should be capitalized as "I"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can affect the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing the essay, take a break and then read it again to catch errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help identify and correct mistakes before submission. Regular practice with spelling exercises can also reinforce correct spelling habits.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise word usage, and improving spelling accuracy—the overall quality of the essay can be significantly enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly employs simple sentence structures, which limits the overall complexity and variety. For instance, sentences like "Some individuals support that government should spend money for old age healthcare" and "In contrast, others feel citizens should be responsible for their own healthcare costs" are straightforward but lack the use of more complex structures such as conditional clauses or relative clauses. There are attempts at varied sentence beginnings, but the overall range remains limited.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate complex sentences that combine ideas. For example, instead of saying, "They believe that elderly should be taken care when they retire," they could say, "Many believe that the elderly should be taken care of when they retire, as they have contributed significantly to society throughout their working lives." Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can also diversify sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "the government should provide free healthcare costs for elderly" should be "the government should provide free healthcare for the elderly." The phrase "they spent half a part of their youth" is awkward; it would be clearer as "they spent a significant portion of their youth." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "old age are limited in their life expenditure," which should be "old age is limited in their life expenditure." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as "wich" instead of "which," and the inconsistent capitalization of "i" detract from the professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch common errors. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can help identify mistakes before submission. Additionally, practicing sentence construction and reviewing subject-verb agreement rules would be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should ensure that commas are used correctly to separate clauses and that proper nouns are capitalized consistently.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance their grammatical range and accuracy, potentially raising their band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals claim that the government should provide comprehensive healthcare coverage for the elderly, while others argue that individuals should bear the cost of their own healthcare in old age. This essay will discuss both views and suggest that government-funded healthcare for the elderly is the most beneficial approach.

Some individuals advocate for government expenditure on healthcare for the elderly. They believe that the elderly should be cared for when they retire. This perspective is compelling because these individuals have contributed half their lives to society and national prosperity. Consequently, early detection of diseases can lead to timely treatment, which helps reduce the recurrence of illnesses. For example, the Japanese government has implemented free medical examinations for the elderly in certain areas to express gratitude for their contributions. In my opinion, I believe that the government should develop a comprehensive healthcare strategy for the elderly, ensuring they undergo regular health checks to maintain their well-being.

In contrast, others feel that citizens should be responsible for their own healthcare costs. They argue that the elderly are unlimited in their expenses. However, this view is problematic because many elderly individuals are too old to continue working. This situation significantly impacts family economics and can adversely affect their quality of life. For instance, a survey in 2022 indicated that the quality of life in India has declined partly due to high medical examination costs, which many people cannot afford. To address this issue, I suggest that the elderly should consider purchasing life insurance, which can help reduce the costs of medical examinations and treatments, thereby balancing their quality of life.

In conclusion, although there are strong arguments for individuals paying for their own healthcare, I believe that the government should provide free healthcare for the elderly as a more suitable option. This is essential because the elderly have limited financial resources and deserve to be cared for after a lifetime of contribution to society.