Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Opinions are divided on whether having specific plans for the future is unnecessary and concentrating on the present moment is more vital. However, I believe that setting clear goals will benefit many aspects of life of individuals in their future.
Granted, one might argue that today’s life may be unexpected. They believe that future is out of control, and thus focusing on the present moment to accurately respond and react to each people’s situations in their lives is more important than setting bleak goals without knowing what will happen next. However, living a life without attempts would be considered meaningless. By mapping out what to do next in the future , individuals will have their own motivations to strive to achieve their goals. To illustrate this, prestigious colleges in Vietnam such as Foreign Trade University are always high school students’ dreams; therefore, in order to succeed in becoming a part of these universities, these students are encouraged to proactively develop strategies such as doing mock tests or revising for the exams to accomplish their objectives.
To add further credence to my assertion, not only students can benefit from planning for the future but also employees can. In this exponentially evolving world, adaptability to every circumstances is of utmost importance , hence this very fact will require employees to set clear plans for the future. For instance, employees who can anticipate changes in their industries and develop relevant skills to cope with any situations in the future will become more successful in their careers than those focusing solely on their present job responsibilities. Thereby, placing great emphasis on the present moment instead of setting a roadmap for the future will hinder employees’ personal growth.
In conclusion, it is a mistake to assume that focusing on present life may take precedence over planning for the future because the former may do a great disservice to some individuals’ future, while having goals will help them foster suitable skills and knowledge to readily prepare for any unexpectations in the future.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Opinions are divided" -> "There is a divergence of opinion"
Explanation: "There is a divergence of opinion" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea that people have different views, which is more suitable for academic writing. -
"unnecessary" -> "unnecessary"
Explanation: The word "unnecessary" is correct in this context, but it could be replaced with "unjustified" to emphasize the lack of reason or basis for the opinion. -
"benefit many aspects of life of individuals" -> "benefit various aspects of individuals’ lives"
Explanation: The revised phrase "benefit various aspects of individuals’ lives" is more grammatically correct and clearer, improving the flow and precision of the sentence. -
"today’s life" -> "current life"
Explanation: "Current life" is a more formal and precise term than "today’s life," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"future is out of control" -> "the future is unpredictable"
Explanation: "The future is unpredictable" is a more academically appropriate phrase that avoids the colloquial tone of "out of control." -
"each people’s situations" -> "each individual’s circumstances"
Explanation: "Each individual’s circumstances" is more formal and precise than "each people’s situations," which is awkward and incorrect. -
"bleak goals" -> "vague goals"
Explanation: "Vague goals" is a more accurate and formal term than "bleak goals," which is an idiom and not typically used in academic writing. -
"living a life without attempts" -> "leading a life without effort"
Explanation: "Leading a life without effort" is a more formal and precise way to describe the idea of not making an attempt to achieve goals. -
"By mapping out what to do next in the future" -> "By outlining future plans"
Explanation: "By outlining future plans" is a more concise and formal expression than "By mapping out what to do next in the future." -
"proactive" -> "proactively"
Explanation: "Proactively" is the adverb form needed here to correctly modify the verb "develop strategies." -
"doing mock tests or revising for the exams" -> "conducting mock tests or preparing for exams"
Explanation: "Conducting mock tests or preparing for exams" uses more formal vocabulary suitable for an academic context. -
"exponentially evolving world" -> "rapidly evolving world"
Explanation: "Rapidly evolving" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic writing than "exponentially evolving," which is less typical in this context. -
"every circumstances" -> "every circumstance"
Explanation: "Every circumstance" should be "every circumstance" to maintain grammatical accuracy. -
"will become more successful" -> "will be more successful"
Explanation: "Will be more successful" is grammatically correct and more formal than "will become more successful." -
"placing great emphasis on the present moment" -> "emphasizing the present moment"
Explanation: "Emphasizing the present moment" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea. -
"do a great disservice to some individuals’ future" -> "harm the future prospects of some individuals"
Explanation: "Harm the future prospects of some individuals" is a more precise and formal way to express the negative impact on future outcomes. -
"having goals will help them foster suitable skills and knowledge" -> "having goals enables them to develop suitable skills and knowledge"
Explanation: "Enables them to develop" is a more active and precise verb choice than "help them foster," aligning better with academic style.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9
Band Score for Task Response: 9
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument in favor of planning for the future while acknowledging the opposing viewpoint. The introduction sets the stage by outlining the debate, and the body paragraphs provide substantial support for the author’s position. The use of examples, such as the reference to prestigious universities and the adaptability required in the workforce, illustrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay does a commendable job of addressing both sides, the author could enhance the response by briefly summarizing the counterargument in the conclusion. This would reinforce the complexity of the issue and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, consistently advocating for the importance of future planning. Phrases like "I believe that setting clear goals will benefit many aspects of life" and "it is a mistake to assume that focusing on present life may take precedence" clearly communicate the author’s stance. The logical flow from one point to the next supports the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could use more explicit transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, reiterating the main thesis at the beginning of each body paragraph could reinforce the overall position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and extends ideas effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The examples provided, such as the strategies students employ to gain admission to prestigious universities and the need for employees to adapt to industry changes, are relevant and well-explained. This demonstrates a strong ability to support claims with concrete evidence.
- How to improve: While the examples are relevant, the author could enhance the depth of analysis by elaborating on the implications of these examples. For instance, discussing how the skills developed through planning can lead to long-term success would provide a more robust support for the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each point directly related to the central theme of planning for the future versus focusing on the present. There are no noticeable deviations from the topic, and the argument is consistently relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author might consider using a brief outline before writing to clarify the main points to be addressed. This could help in organizing thoughts and maintaining relevance throughout the essay.
Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS. The author effectively communicates their position, supports it with relevant examples, and maintains a clear focus on the topic. With minor adjustments in elaboration and transitions, the essay could achieve even greater clarity and depth.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the importance of planning for the future, structured around a logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by acknowledging opposing views before stating the author’s position. Each paragraph builds upon the previous one, with the first paragraph discussing the general argument against planning and the second paragraph countering it with specific examples from both students and employees. The use of transitional phrases such as "To add further credence to my assertion" helps guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: While the overall structure is strong, enhancing the clarity of the argument could be achieved by explicitly linking back to the essay prompt in each paragraph. For instance, reiterating the phrase "to what extent" in the body paragraphs could help maintain focus on the essay question and reinforce the argument’s relevance.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the author’s stance, while the subsequent paragraphs provide supporting examples. However, the conclusion could be more distinct, as it somewhat merges with the final body paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion is clearly delineated from the body of the essay. This can be achieved by starting the conclusion with a clear signal phrase such as "In conclusion" or "To summarize," followed by a concise restatement of the main argument and key points discussed in the essay. Additionally, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly outline the main idea being discussed.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices, such as "however," "therefore," and "for instance," which effectively connect ideas and provide clarity. The use of these devices helps to create a smooth flow of information and enhances the reader’s understanding of the argument. However, some phrases could be more varied to avoid repetition and improve the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "however," alternatives like "on the other hand," "conversely," or "nevertheless" could be employed to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, using phrases like "in addition" or "furthermore" can help to introduce supporting points more effectively. This variety will enhance the essay’s cohesion and make it more engaging for the reader.
Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining a logical flow of ideas. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "motivations," "adaptability," and "objectives" effectively conveying the author’s ideas. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation in expression. For instance, the phrase "focusing on the present" appears multiple times, which could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased for greater variety.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the author should consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "focusing on the present," alternatives like "concentrating on the current moment" or "prioritizing immediate experiences" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "foresight," "strategic planning," or "long-term vision," would elevate the essay’s lexical range.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "future is out of control" could be interpreted ambiguously; it might be clearer to say "the future is unpredictable." Additionally, the term "bleak goals" is somewhat unclear and could confuse readers, as "bleak" typically has a negative connotation that may not align with the intended meaning of "uncertain" or "vague."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the author should carefully choose words that accurately reflect their intended meaning. For instance, replacing "bleak goals" with "uncertain goals" or "ambiguous objectives" would clarify the message. Furthermore, ensuring that phrases are contextually appropriate will enhance the overall clarity of the essay.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with only minor errors. However, there are instances where spacing issues occur, such as in "future ," which should be corrected to "future." Such errors, while minor, can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the author should proofread the essay carefully, paying attention to spacing and punctuation. Utilizing spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud can help identify and correct these minor errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary quizzes can further strengthen spelling skills.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy could elevate the Lexical Resource score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality of the writing and better convey the author’s ideas.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases such as "one might argue that today’s life may be unexpected" and "not only students can benefit from planning for the future but also employees can" shows an ability to combine ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way arguments are introduced and developed, which can detract from the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "However" to introduce contrasting ideas, alternatives such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" could be employed. Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create a more dynamic flow. For example, instead of "In this exponentially evolving world, adaptability to every circumstances is of utmost importance," the writer could say, "Adaptability to every circumstance is of utmost importance in this exponentially evolving world."
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the future is out of control" could be more effectively expressed as "the future can feel unpredictable." Additionally, punctuation issues arise, such as the unnecessary space before commas (e.g., "future , individuals") and the lack of commas in complex sentences that could enhance readability. The phrase "to accurately respond and react to each people’s situations" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; it should be "to accurately respond and react to each person’s situation."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and possessive forms. It would be beneficial to practice using punctuation correctly, especially in complex sentences, to clarify meaning. For instance, the writer could revise "hinder employees’ personal growth" to "hinder employees’ personal growth" by ensuring that possessive forms are used correctly. Additionally, using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the highlighted areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Opinions are divided on whether having specific plans for the future is unnecessary and concentrating on the present moment is more vital. However, I believe that setting clear goals will benefit various aspects of individuals’ lives in their future.
Granted, one might argue that current life may be unpredictable. They believe that the future is out of control, and thus focusing on the present moment to accurately respond and react to each individual’s circumstances in their lives is more important than setting vague goals without knowing what will happen next. However, leading a life without effort would be considered meaningless. By outlining future plans, individuals will have their own motivations to strive to achieve their goals. To illustrate this, prestigious colleges in Vietnam, such as Foreign Trade University, are always high school students’ dreams; therefore, in order to succeed in becoming a part of these universities, these students are encouraged to proactively develop strategies such as conducting mock tests or revising for exams to accomplish their objectives.
To add further credence to my assertion, not only students can benefit from planning for the future, but employees can as well. In this rapidly evolving world, adaptability to every circumstance is of utmost importance; hence, this very fact will require employees to set clear plans for the future. For instance, employees who can anticipate changes in their industries and develop relevant skills to cope with any situations in the future will be more successful in their careers than those focusing solely on their present job responsibilities. Thereby, placing great emphasis on the present moment instead of setting a roadmap for the future will harm the future prospects of some individuals.
In conclusion, it is a mistake to assume that focusing on current life may take precedence over planning for the future because the former may do a great disservice to some individuals’ futures, while having goals will help them foster suitable skills and knowledge to readily prepare for any unexpected situations in the future.