Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country they did training others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that experts such as doctors and engineers should contribute to the country where they practice however others believe that those people should flexibly work where they want. Although both views are valid to some extent, I would lean toward the former.

On the one hand, it is understandable why there is an opinion that professionals should be free to work. First, it's related to each person's characteristics and demands. People who want higher career promotion may offer more opportunities to work overseas or frequently go on business trips. In some cases, specific jobs such as doctors and engineers can easily get higher salaries when they work in developed countries. Furthermore, it is suitable for international students. For instance, many students who study abroad may want to return to their country after graduation or exchange. This is because they may find more familiarity with culture, regulations, and language, and also because everyone loves their mother country.

On the other hand, I still believe that professionals should be required to work at where they did training. It is the fact that familiarity is always a key factor in work satisfaction, especially in specific jobs like doctor or engineer. Each country has various facility conditions due to economic disparities. Therefore, if people have been training in a developed country, it may be hard for them to operate machines or practice because of the lack of modern items in poorer countries, consequently that the experiences they have gathered before may become useless. Moreover, it is understandable for a number of ethical reasons. In many developed countries, health and technology are the most invested aspects so universities there receive billions of dollars from sponsors for research. In Finland, Germany, or Norway, students do not have to pay for their tuition even though the expense of facilities is extravagant. Therefore, I believe that experts, who received support from the country should work there as a way of gratitude.

In conclusion, I agree that flexibility in work in different countries offers plenty of benefits but I still opine that professionals should contribute to the country they did training in due to ethical reasons and work satisfaction.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some people argue" -> "Some individuals contend"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and precise term than "argue," which is often used in academic writing to denote a more structured and evidence-based argumentation.
"experts such as doctors and engineers" -> "experts, including medical professionals and engineers"
Explanation: Using "including" instead of "such as" provides a more inclusive and formal tone, emphasizing the breadth of expertise being discussed.
"flexibly work where they want" -> "pursue employment opportunities globally"
Explanation: "Pursue employment opportunities globally" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial tone of "flexibly work where they want."
"valid to some extent" -> "valid to a certain extent"
Explanation: "To a certain extent" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "to some extent," which can sound slightly informal.
"it’s related to each person’s characteristics and demands" -> "it is related to individual characteristics and professional demands"
Explanation: Replacing "it’s" with "it is" corrects the contraction for formal writing, and specifying "individual characteristics and professional demands" enhances the precision and formality of the statement.
"People who want higher career promotion" -> "Individuals seeking career advancement"
Explanation: "Individuals seeking career advancement" is more formal and specific than "People who want higher career promotion," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"offer more opportunities to work overseas" -> "pursue international work opportunities"
Explanation: "Pursue international work opportunities" is more formal and direct, avoiding the passive construction of "offer more opportunities to work overseas."
"can easily get higher salaries" -> "may command higher salaries"
Explanation: "May command higher salaries" is a more formal expression that implies a stronger assertion about the potential for higher earnings.
"it is suitable for international students" -> "this is advantageous for international students"
Explanation: "This is advantageous for international students" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.
"everyone loves their mother country" -> "many individuals have a strong affinity for their homeland"
Explanation: "Many individuals have a strong affinity for their homeland" is more formal and avoids the colloquialism of "everyone loves their mother country."
"professionals should be required to work at where they did training" -> "professionals should be obligated to work in the countries where they received their training"
Explanation: "Obligated to work in the countries where they received their training" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formality of the sentence.
"familiarity is always a key factor in work satisfaction" -> "familiarity is consistently a crucial factor in job satisfaction"
Explanation: "Consistently a crucial factor" is more precise and formal than "always a key factor," and "job satisfaction" is a more specific term than "work satisfaction."
"due to the lack of modern items" -> "due to the absence of modern equipment"
Explanation: "Absence of modern equipment" is more specific and formal than "lack of modern items," which is vague and informal.
"consequently that the experiences they have gathered before may become useless" -> "consequently, their previously acquired experiences may become obsolete"
Explanation: "Consequently, their previously acquired experiences may become obsolete" corrects the grammatical structure and uses more formal vocabulary ("obsolete" instead of "useless").

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding whether professionals should work in the country where they trained or have the freedom to work elsewhere. The first paragraph introduces the topic and acknowledges both perspectives, while the subsequent paragraphs provide arguments for each side. However, the discussion could be more balanced; the argument in favor of working in the home country is more developed than the counterargument. For instance, the points about career promotion and salary in developed countries are mentioned but not elaborated upon as thoroughly as the ethical considerations and familiarity with local conditions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is given equal weight. This could involve providing more specific examples or evidence to support the argument for professionals working abroad, such as discussing the global nature of many professions and how this benefits both the professionals and their home countries.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of professionals working in the country where they trained, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition from discussing the opposing view to the author’s stance could be smoother. The phrase "Although both views are valid to some extent, I would lean toward the former" could be more assertive in establishing the author’s position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author could explicitly state their opinion earlier in the essay and reinforce it throughout. Using phrases like "I firmly believe" or "It is my conviction that" can strengthen the expression of their viewpoint. Additionally, summarizing the key reasons for their stance in the conclusion can help reinforce their position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly in support of the argument that professionals should work in their training country. However, some ideas lack depth and could benefit from further explanation. For example, the mention of ethical reasons is significant but could be expanded with examples of how professionals’ training is funded and the implications of this support.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific statistics, case studies, or examples that illustrate the benefits of working in the home country versus abroad. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader through the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For instance, the discussion about international students and their familiarity with their home country, while relevant, could be more directly tied to the main argument about professional obligations.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made is directly relevant to the question posed. This can be achieved by regularly referring back to the prompt and ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates to the central debate. Additionally, avoiding tangential points that do not directly support the main argument will help keep the essay concise and focused.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, balance, and depth of their response, potentially increasing their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are divided into two sections, each addressing one side of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the reasons for allowing professionals to work freely, while the second paragraph argues for the necessity of working in the country of training. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, particularly when moving from one argument to the next. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is effective, but the subsequent transition to the opposing view lacks a clear signal, which could confuse readers about the shift in perspective.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transition phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing the first viewpoint, you could use a phrase like "Conversely" or "In contrast" to signal the shift to the opposing argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main thesis, reinforcing the overall argument throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first addressing the flexibility of work locations and the second emphasizing the importance of working in the training country. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that summarize the main point of the paragraph. For instance, the opening sentence could more explicitly state that it will discuss the reasons professionals should stay in their training countries.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea being discussed. This will help the reader follow the argument more easily. Additionally, consider using concluding sentences that summarize the key points made in each paragraph, reinforcing how they contribute to the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "furthermore," and "moreover," which help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, there is a tendency to rely heavily on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the repeated use of "therefore" and "for instance" could be varied to enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: Diversify the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Incorporate alternatives such as "in addition," "as a result," "for example," and "consequently" to create a more dynamic flow of ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help reduce redundancy and improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "professionals," "economic disparities," and "work satisfaction" effectively conveying the author’s points. The use of phrases such as "flexibly work where they want" and "higher career promotion" shows an attempt to vary language. However, some expressions are slightly awkward or less common, such as "specific jobs like doctor or engineer," which could be more fluidly expressed as "specific professions such as doctors and engineers."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "work," alternatives like "practice," "operate," or "engage in professional activities" could be used. Additionally, using more idiomatic expressions or collocations related to the topic would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are instances of imprecision. The phrase "it may be hard for them to operate machines or practice because of the lack of modern items" could be clearer if rephrased to specify what "items" refers to, such as "medical equipment" or "engineering tools." Additionally, the phrase "the experiences they have gathered before may become useless" could be more accurately expressed as "the skills they have acquired may not be applicable."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that clearly convey their intended meaning. For example, instead of "specific jobs," they could specify "medical professionals" or "engineering specialists." Encouraging the use of precise terminology will help clarify arguments and enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with no major errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "flexibly work" which should be "work flexibly," and "at where they did training," which is awkwardly phrased and could be improved to "in the country where they trained."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling and grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on sentence structure and word order. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar checkers can also help identify and correct errors before submission. Additionally, practicing writing with attention to syntax and phrasing will contribute to overall improvement in spelling and grammatical correctness.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, with room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence effectively uses a compound structure: "Some people argue that experts such as doctors and engineers should contribute to the country where they practice; however, others believe that those people should flexibly work where they want." This showcases the ability to connect contrasting ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where phrases like "it is understandable" and "for instance" are used multiple times, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses or varying the use of transitional phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "it is understandable," you could say, "One reason for this perspective is that…" or "This viewpoint stems from the belief that…". Additionally, try to mix in more varied sentence openings to avoid monotony.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some notable errors. For instance, in the phrase "required to work at where they did training," the preposition "at" is incorrectly used; it should be "in." Additionally, the sentence "it may be hard for them to operate machines or practice because of the lack of modern items in poorer countries, consequently that the experiences they have gathered before may become useless" is overly complex and contains grammatical inaccuracies, such as the awkward phrasing "consequently that." Punctuation is mostly correct, but the use of commas could be improved for clarity, particularly in long sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing prepositions and ensuring they are used correctly in context. Additionally, break down overly complex sentences into simpler ones to enhance clarity. For example, the problematic sentence could be rephrased as: "It may be hard for them to operate machines or practice due to a lack of modern equipment in poorer countries. As a result, the experiences they have gathered may become less relevant." Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also help in refining these skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals contend that experts such as doctors and engineers should contribute to the country where they received their training; however, others believe that these professionals should be free to work wherever they choose. Although both views are valid to a certain extent, I would lean toward the former.

On the one hand, it is understandable why there is an opinion that professionals should have the freedom to work internationally. First, this is related to individual characteristics and professional demands. Individuals seeking career advancement may find more opportunities by pursuing international work opportunities or frequently going on business trips. In some cases, specific jobs such as doctors and engineers can command significantly higher salaries when they work in developed countries. Furthermore, this is advantageous for international students. For instance, many students who study abroad may wish to return to their home country after graduation or an exchange program. This is because they may feel a stronger affinity for their homeland, as they are more familiar with the culture, regulations, and language.

On the other hand, I still believe that professionals should be required to work in the country where they received their training. Familiarity is consistently a crucial factor in job satisfaction, especially in specific fields like medicine and engineering. Each country has varying facility conditions due to economic disparities. Therefore, if individuals have trained in a developed country, they may struggle to operate equipment or practice effectively due to the lack of modern resources in poorer countries, rendering their previous experiences less valuable. Moreover, there are several ethical reasons to consider. In many developed countries, health and technology are heavily invested in, with universities receiving billions of dollars from sponsors for research. For example, in Finland, Germany, or Norway, students do not have to pay for their tuition, despite the extravagant costs of facilities. Therefore, I believe that experts who received support from their country should work there as a form of gratitude.

In conclusion, while the flexibility to work in different countries offers numerous benefits, I still opine that professionals should contribute to the country where they received their training, due to ethical considerations and the importance of job satisfaction.