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Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Throughout history, professional workers such as doctors or engineers are held in high regards for their expertise and valuable experience, and their values continued to be desirable in the modern world. This is turn has sparked debate as to whether or not these individuals should be required to work in the country where they were trained, or should they be allowed the choice to work in another nation.

On the one hand, there are many reasons as to why professionals should work in their home country. One of them is the fact that, with their knowledge and wisdom, these individuals will be able to train and prepare younger generations and contribute to society. For example, it is easy to see senior doctors giving their junior counterparts on the job tranining and guidance in hospitals, or engineers taking their students to real construction sites for them to get used to their future working environment . While school books and videos can be useful, nothing can be better than a mentor when it comes to real life experiences

On the other hand, working in another nation can bring a lot of benefits for the professionals that are simply can not be found in their home country. It is an unfortunate fact that many well-educated individuals choose to live and work in another country because of the massively greater salaries and benefits that were available. For example, the United States offers attractive sponsorship programs that incentivize people to come study and work in the US, where they are guaranteed a better future for them and their family. It would be unfair and unethical to force people to work in a low paying job with limited benefits when they can get more with the same amount of experience elsewhere.

In conclusion, while it is true that requiring people to work in the country where they were trained deos have its benefit, unless the governments are able to come up with attractive salaries and benefits for those professionals, I firmly believe that people should be free to choose where they want to work in their own respective fields.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "held in high regards" -> "held in high regard"
    Explanation: The phrase "held in high regards" is grammatically incorrect. The correct form is "held in high regard," which is the appropriate noun form for this context.

  2. "This is turn has sparked" -> "This has sparked"
    Explanation: The phrase "This is turn has sparked" is grammatically incorrect. The correct form is "This has sparked," which is a more natural and correct expression.

  3. "should be required to work" -> "should be obligated to work"
    Explanation: "Should be required to work" is somewhat informal and vague. "Should be obligated to work" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

  4. "the choice to work" -> "the option to work"
    Explanation: "The choice to work" is slightly informal and less specific. "The option to work" is more formal and precise, suitable for academic writing.

  5. "One of them is the fact that" -> "One reason is that"
    Explanation: "One of them is the fact that" is awkward and verbose. "One reason is that" simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure.

  6. "with their knowledge and wisdom" -> "with their expertise"
    Explanation: "Knowledge and wisdom" is redundant and overly broad. "Expertise" is a more precise term that conveys the intended meaning.

  7. "giving their junior counterparts on the job tranining" -> "providing on-the-job training to their junior counterparts"
    Explanation: "Giving their junior counterparts on the job tranining" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Providing on-the-job training to their junior counterparts" corrects the grammar and enhances clarity.

  8. "taking their students to real construction sites" -> "conducting site visits with their students"
    Explanation: "Taking their students to real construction sites" is informal and lacks precision. "Conducting site visits with their students" is more formal and specific.

  9. "simply can not be found" -> "cannot be found"
    Explanation: "Simply can not" is grammatically incorrect. "Cannot" is the correct form for negation in formal writing.

  10. "massively greater salaries and benefits" -> "significantly higher salaries and benefits"
    Explanation: "Massively greater" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Significantly higher" is more precise and appropriate for formal writing.

  11. "were available" -> "are available"
    Explanation: "Were available" is in the past tense, which is incorrect in this context. "Are available" correctly reflects the ongoing nature of the situation.

  12. "a better future for them and their family" -> "a better future for themselves and their families"
    Explanation: "Them" is incorrect as a pronoun in this context. "Themselves" is the correct reflexive pronoun, and "families" should be plural to match the plural subject.

  13. "deos have its benefit" -> "does have its benefits"
    Explanation: "Deos" is a typographical error. "Does" is the correct form, and "benefits" should be plural to match the plural subject.

  14. "unless the governments are able to come up with attractive salaries and benefits" -> "unless governments can offer attractive salaries and benefits"
    Explanation: "Are able to come up with" is verbose and informal. "Can offer" is more direct and formal, fitting the academic style better.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding whether professionals should work in the country where they were trained or have the freedom to work abroad. The first body paragraph presents arguments for the necessity of professionals to contribute to their home country, emphasizing mentorship and societal contribution. The second body paragraph counters this by discussing the benefits of working abroad, particularly in terms of salary and opportunities. However, while both sides are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint’s strengths.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a more balanced discussion of both perspectives by acknowledging potential counterarguments to their own opinion. For instance, discussing the potential drawbacks of professionals leaving their home countries, such as a brain drain, would provide a more comprehensive view.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that professionals should have the freedom to choose where they work, supported by logical reasoning and examples. The conclusion reiterates this stance effectively. However, the transition from discussing both views to presenting the writer’s opinion could be smoother to reinforce the clarity of the position.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly signal the shift from discussing both views to stating their own opinion. Phrases like "In my view" or "Ultimately, I believe" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with relevant examples that support the arguments made. The mention of mentorship in the home country and the benefits of working abroad are both well-articulated. However, some points, such as the argument about mentorship, could be further developed to provide more depth.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could elaborate on the examples provided. For instance, they could discuss specific scenarios where mentorship has led to significant advancements in the field or provide statistics on the benefits of working abroad, which would enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of professionals working in their home country versus abroad. The examples provided are relevant and support the main argument. However, there are minor deviations, such as the phrase "deos have its benefit," which detracts from the overall professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and professionalism, the writer should proofread for typographical errors and ensure that all statements are clearly articulated. Additionally, ensuring that all examples directly relate back to the main argument will help maintain topic relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the writer’s perspective. With some refinements in balance, clarity, depth of support, and attention to detail, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets up the debate regarding professionals working in their training country versus abroad. Each body paragraph logically presents arguments for each side, with relevant examples that support the claims. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of professionals working in their home country, while the second paragraph highlights the advantages of working abroad. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from one argument to another feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that clearly indicate the shift in perspective, such as "Conversely" or "On the other hand." Additionally, summarizing the key point of one paragraph before transitioning to the next can help reinforce the connection between ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct argument. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of professionals remaining in their home country, while the second addresses the advantages of working abroad. However, the conclusion could be better integrated into the overall structure, as it currently feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding arguments.
    • How to improve: Ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes the main points but also ties back to the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. This can be achieved by briefly restating the key arguments before expressing a personal opinion, thereby reinforcing the essay’s coherence.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices is limited, and the essay could benefit from a broader range of linking words and phrases. For example, phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" could enhance the flow of ideas within paragraphs.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, practice incorporating a variety of linking words to connect sentences and ideas. This can help create a more fluid reading experience and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and avoid confusion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion with a clear structure and logical organization, there are areas for improvement. By enhancing transitions between paragraphs, integrating the conclusion more effectively, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "professionals," "expertise," "contribute to society," and "incentivize." However, there are instances where the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly the phrases "work in another country" and "home country," which could be varied to enhance the lexical diversity. For example, instead of repeating "home country," alternatives like "native country" or "country of origin" could be employed.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should actively incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help in identifying alternatives that maintain the intended meaning but add variety.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "mentorship" and "real-life experiences." However, there are also instances of imprecise usage, such as "the massively greater salaries and benefits that were available," where "were" suggests past tense, which may confuse the reader about the current context. Additionally, the phrase "deos have its benefit" contains a typographical error that detracts from clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that verb tenses are consistent and appropriate for the context. Furthermore, proofreading for typographical errors and ensuring that word choices accurately convey the intended meaning will enhance clarity. For instance, replacing "were available" with "are often available" would maintain the present relevance of the statement.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, including "tranining" (training), "deos" (does), and "benefit" (should be pluralized to "benefits" in the context). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, such as using online tools or apps that focus on vocabulary and spelling. Additionally, a thorough proofreading process after writing can help catch and correct these errors before submission. Reading the essay aloud may also assist in identifying misspelled words, as they may sound incorrect when spoken.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precision in word choice, and improving spelling accuracy will help elevate the band score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For instance, phrases like "it is easy to see senior doctors giving their junior counterparts on the job training" and "unless the governments are able to come up with attractive salaries and benefits" showcase the use of subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the use of "should be required to work" and "should they be allowed" reflects a somewhat repetitive structure in the initial argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, using participial phrases (e.g., "Having trained in their home country, professionals…") or different ways to express opinions (e.g., "It is often argued that…") would help diversify the writing. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, "this is turn has sparked debate" should read "this in turn has sparked debate," indicating a missing preposition. Another instance is "the massively greater salaries and benefits that were available," where the past tense "were" is incorrectly used; it should be "are" to maintain present relevance. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are missing commas, such as before "or engineers" in the first sentence, which could improve clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch common errors, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in complex sentences, would be beneficial. Using grammar-checking tools or peer reviews could also help identify and rectify errors before submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to detail in sentence variety and grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Throughout history, professional workers such as doctors and engineers have been held in high regard for their expertise and valuable experience, and their skills continue to be desirable in the modern world. This, in turn, has sparked debate as to whether these individuals should be required to work in the country where they were trained, or if they should be allowed the choice to work in another nation.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why professionals should work in their home country. One reason is that, with their knowledge and wisdom, these individuals will be able to train and prepare younger generations and contribute to society. For example, it is easy to see senior doctors providing on-the-job training and guidance to their junior counterparts in hospitals, or engineers conducting site visits with their students to help them get used to their future working environment. While school books and videos can be useful, nothing can be better than a mentor when it comes to real-life experiences.

On the other hand, working in another nation can bring a lot of benefits for professionals that simply cannot be found in their home country. It is an unfortunate fact that many well-educated individuals choose to live and work in another country because of the significantly higher salaries and benefits that are available. For example, the United States offers attractive sponsorship programs that incentivize people to come study and work there, where they are guaranteed a better future for themselves and their families. It would be unfair and unethical to force people to work in a low-paying job with limited benefits when they can earn more with the same amount of experience elsewhere.

In conclusion, while it is true that requiring people to work in the country where they were trained does have its benefits, unless governments can offer attractive salaries and benefits for those professionals, I firmly believe that people should be free to choose where they want to work in their own respective fields.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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