Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Opinions differ on whether schoolchildren should be given assignments to finish at home. While there are some sensible arguments to oppose against that idea, I personally believe that homework has a significant role to play for both children and their teachers.
Opponents of assigning homework to students often express concern about the limited leisure time available to children. Teachers, after ensuring that their class comprehends the lesson, have a tendency to assess their comprehension and ability to apply knowledge through exercises by giving them homework and marking these the next day. Such demands compel students to sacrifice leisure activities, such as sports or other educational pursuits, such as drawing and watching videos that foster creativity, to revise the materials they already spend their day to cover. Consider Finland as a prime example, where schoolchildren are not obligated to do homework; their education system is widely regarded as exemplary because students there not only receive ample academic instruction at school, but also have plenty of time to participate in extracurricular activities conducive to their holistic development.
However, this argument may not hold true when considering the benefits of homework. Without the supervision of school, students can indulge in habits, including unhealthy ones such as playing video games, for example. If they spend too much time on their computer or smartphones to only progress their level on these games, they seem to be indifferent in their given tasks. through such attitudes toward homework, teachers could assess how their students allocate time at home, and advise them before it becomes problematic. While it is true that there are many countries whose schooling system thrives without assigned homework, nations such as China, Korea and Japan still boast an impressive and developed one. This is because assignments are normally categorized based on their difficulties, if a student is really engrossed in a subject, they can willingly devote their time for that to hone their recollection and problem-solving skills; otherwise, those who lack a keen interest could only complete tasks to the best of their ability for the sake of revising, and then participate in other activities.
In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but if it is utilized correctly, it can be a useful tool for teachers to monitor their students' learning and for students themselves to recollect, or even enhance their knowledge if desired.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Opinions differ on whether schoolchildren should be given assignments to finish at home." -> "There is debate regarding whether schoolchildren should be assigned homework."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically correct but lacks the formality and precision expected in academic writing. The suggested alternative maintains clarity while presenting the idea in a more sophisticated manner.
"While there are some sensible arguments to oppose against that idea…" -> "While there are valid arguments opposing this notion…"
Explanation: "Oppose against" is redundant; using "opposing this notion" is more concise. Additionally, "sensible" is somewhat colloquial; "valid" is a more formal synonym.
"…have a tendency to assess their comprehension and ability to apply knowledge through exercises by giving them homework…" -> "…tend to evaluate their understanding and application of knowledge by assigning homework…"
Explanation: Replacing "have a tendency to assess" with "tend to evaluate" improves clarity and formality. Additionally, "exercises" is more precise than "homework" in this context.
"…leisure activities, such as sports or other educational pursuits, such as drawing and watching videos that foster creativity…" -> "…leisure activities, such as sports, and other educational pursuits, such as drawing and engaging in activities that foster creativity…"
Explanation: The original phrasing is somewhat convoluted. Separating "sports" from the list and restructuring the sentence for clarity enhances readability.
"Consider Finland as a prime example…" -> "Finland serves as a prime example…"
Explanation: Using "Consider" at the beginning of a sentence is slightly informal. The suggested alternative maintains the same meaning in a more formal tone.
"…have plenty of time to participate in extracurricular activities conducive to their holistic development." -> "…have ample time for participating in extracurricular activities that promote their holistic development."
Explanation: "Plenty of time" is slightly informal; "ample time" is a more formal alternative. Additionally, rephrasing to "participating in extracurricular activities that promote their holistic development" enhances clarity and formality.
"…Without the supervision of school, students can indulge in habits, including unhealthy ones such as playing video games, for example." -> "Without school supervision, students may engage in various habits, including unhealthy ones like excessive video gaming."
Explanation: The original sentence is a bit verbose and informal. Simplifying and restructuring it improves clarity and formality. Additionally, "such as" is replaced with "like" for better precision.
"…they seem to be indifferent in their given tasks." -> "…they appear indifferent to their assigned tasks."
Explanation: The original phrasing is somewhat awkward. "Appear" is a more formal alternative to "seem."
"…through such attitudes toward homework…" -> "…by observing such attitudes toward homework…"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and seems incomplete. Adding "by observing" clarifies the relationship between teachers and students’ attitudes towards homework.
"…This is because assignments are normally categorized based on their difficulties…" -> "This is because assignments are typically categorized according to their level of difficulty…"
Explanation: "Based on" is replaced with "according to" for clearer and more formal expression. Additionally, "normally" is substituted with "typically" for a more precise term.
"…if a student is really engrossed in a subject, they can willingly devote their time for that to hone their recollection and problem-solving skills…" -> "…if a student is deeply interested in a subject, they can willingly dedicate time to enhance their memory and problem-solving abilities…"
Explanation: "Engrossed" is slightly informal; "deeply interested" is a more formal synonym. "For that" is ambiguous; replacing it with "to enhance their" clarifies the sentence.
"…otherwise, those who lack a keen interest could only complete tasks to the best of their ability for the sake of revising, and then participate in other activities." -> "…otherwise, students lacking a strong interest may only complete tasks to the best of their ability for the purpose of review, before engaging in other activities."
Explanation: The original sentence is somewhat convoluted and informal. Simplifying and restructuring it enhances clarity and formality. Additionally, "for the sake of revising" is replaced with "for the purpose of review" for clarity.
"…homework certainly has its drawbacks…" -> "…homework indeed has its disadvantages…"
Explanation: "Certainly" is slightly informal; "indeed" maintains formality while emphasizing the assertion.
"…it can be a useful tool for teachers to monitor their students’ learning and for students themselves to recollect, or even enhance their knowledge if desired." -> "…it can serve as a valuable tool for teachers to monitor their students’ progress and for students to reinforce or even augment their knowledge as needed."
Explanation: Rephrasing to "serve as a valuable tool" enhances formality and clarity. "Recollect" is replaced with "reinforce" for a more precise term. Additionally, "if desired" is substituted with "as needed" for better clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives on homework: those who oppose it due to concerns about leisure time and those who argue for its benefits in terms of discipline and academic improvement.
- How to improve: While both sides are discussed, the essay could benefit from deeper exploration of the opposing view. Offering more nuanced arguments against homework could strengthen the overall balance of the essay.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position supporting homework is clear and consistent. This stance is maintained throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the writer’s opinion early in the introduction and reaffirming it in the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on both sides of the debate and provides examples to support each argument. However, some ideas lack depth and could be further developed.
- How to improve: Expand on examples and provide more detailed explanations to strengthen the arguments. Additionally, consider providing real-world examples or statistics to bolster the points made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the pros and cons of homework. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, such as when discussing video games and unhealthy habits.
- How to improve: Maintain a tighter focus on the central topic throughout the essay. Avoid introducing tangential discussions that detract from the main argument about homework.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and effectively presents arguments from both perspectives. To improve, focus on deepening the analysis of opposing views, providing more substantial support for arguments, and maintaining a clear, focused discussion throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that presents both views on the topic, followed by body paragraphs that explore the arguments for and against homework. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a balanced opinion. However, there are instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence that links back to the thesis statement. Additionally, use transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. For instance, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "However," can help to signal shifts in perspective or argumentation.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, there are areas where paragraphing could be strengthened. For instance, the second paragraph could be divided into two separate paragraphs to differentiate between the arguments against homework and the example of Finland’s education system.
- How to improve: Aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability and clarity. This can help to ensure that each paragraph addresses a single point or idea, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("their," "they"), conjunctions ("while," "however"), and transitional phrases ("in conclusion"). These devices help to connect ideas within and between sentences, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
- How to improve: While the essay already utilizes cohesive devices effectively, there is room to further diversify their use. Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and repetition, to reinforce connections between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly good range of vocabulary throughout. There is evidence of varied word choice, such as "comprehension," "extracurricular activities," "holistic development," "indulge," "engrossed," "recollection," and "drawbacks." These words contribute to the overall coherence and depth of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay does employ a range of vocabulary, incorporating more precise and contextually relevant terminology could enhance the overall quality. Instead of repeating certain words like "homework" or "students," consider using synonyms or more specific terms to avoid monotony and demonstrate a higher level of lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. For instance, terms like "extracurricular activities" and "comprehension" are used accurately to convey specific meanings related to education and learning. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise, such as the use of "drawbacks" in the concluding paragraph, which could be substituted with a more nuanced term like "limitations" or "challenges."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, strive for greater specificity in word choice. Instead of using broad terms, opt for vocabulary that precisely captures the intended meaning. For example, instead of "drawbacks," consider using terms that specifically describe the negative aspects of homework in the given context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with only minor errors. For instance, "comprehension," "extracurricular," and "holistic" are spelled correctly. However, there are a few instances of misspellings, such as "their" instead of "there" ("students there not only receive ample academic instruction at school").
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully to catch any errors before submission. Additionally, utilizing spelling and grammar check tools can help identify and correct mistakes more effectively. Developing a habit of reviewing written work for spelling accuracy can further enhance overall language proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences alongside simple ones. For instance, there are sentences with dependent clauses (e.g., "While there are some sensible arguments to oppose against that idea…"), compound sentences (e.g., "Without the supervision of school, students can indulge in habits, including unhealthy ones such as playing video games, for example."), and complex constructions (e.g., "This is because assignments are normally categorized based on their difficulties, if a student is really engrossed in a subject, they can willingly devote their time for that to hone their recollection and problem-solving skills…"). These structures contribute to the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more rhetorical devices such as parallelism, inversion, or conditional sentences. Additionally, ensure that complex structures are used appropriately to avoid confusion or ambiguity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally strong grasp of grammar and punctuation. Most sentences are grammatically correct, and punctuation is used effectively to separate clauses and ideas. For example, "Teachers, after ensuring that their class comprehends the lesson, have a tendency to assess their comprehension and ability to apply knowledge through exercises by giving them homework and marking these the next day" showcases correct punctuation in separating clauses.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, attention to minor errors such as subject-verb agreement or word choice can further refine the writing. Proofreading for consistency in verb tenses and ensuring clarity in complex sentences will help avoid any potential confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and a commendable variety of sentence structures. To elevate the writing further, continue to practice using a wide range of structures while paying attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

The issue of whether schoolchildren should be given homework is a topic of debate. While there are valid arguments opposing this notion, I personally believe that homework plays a crucial role in the education of children and benefits both students and teachers.

Some argue against assigning homework to students, expressing concerns about the limited leisure time available to children. Teachers often use homework as a means to evaluate students’ understanding and application of knowledge after covering lessons in class. This can lead students to sacrifice leisure activities such as sports or engaging in creative pursuits like drawing. For instance, Finland, where schoolchildren are not required to do homework, is often cited as an example of a successful education system. There, students have ample time for extracurricular activities, promoting holistic development.

However, the argument against homework may overlook its benefits. Without school supervision, students may engage in unhealthy habits such as excessive video gaming, appearing indifferent to their assigned tasks. By observing students’ attitudes toward homework, teachers can gain insights into how students allocate their time at home and offer guidance when necessary. While some countries thrive without assigned homework, others, like China, Korea, and Japan, maintain impressive education systems where homework is categorized by difficulty. Students who are deeply interested in a subject may willingly devote time to enhance their memory and problem-solving skills, while others may complete tasks for the purpose of review before engaging in other activities.

In conclusion, while homework indeed has its disadvantages, if utilized correctly, it can serve as a valuable tool for teachers to monitor students’ progress and for students to reinforce or augment their knowledge as needed.