Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas
others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of
these views and give your own opinion.
recently, students have often been handed some home assignments by their schoolteachers with the hope of improving their grades in the subject matter. I am on the other side who argue that homework assignments are unneeded and a plague on children's free time
there are many reasons why many support the idea of occupying pupils' spare time at home with tasks from school. the most note-worthy reason is to expand their knowledge by having them research the topic in their own ways, as learning is most effective when children are curious and have boundless time to experiment and fail, as the more they discover, the more they can understand and implement the information in real life better as well as academic results. another striking reason worth mentioning is to help parents relax as their child can learn and focus on contemplating the subject of today's lesson, parents are always dealing with mischievous activities around the house so having kids engage in more peaceful and rewarding practices for their future can be seen as a ultimate benefit of homework. the last reason is the tradition of studious youngsters eventually becoming successful adults in the future by having their teenage years imbued with learning and self-development
even though there are numerous arguments for the importance of homework, I wholeheartedly support the opposite viewpoint. the main concern about using homework in student curriculum is the exemplification of utilizing alternative methods in order to complete the tasks, for example, many college students are slowly gravitating towards using AI chatbots to solve their problems due to having limited time in the modern-day, belittling the effort of professors teaching the theories and approaches to solving the assignment, but can also help students gain a wider range of information so that in their spare time, other useful activities can be done. the myth of the successful adult is fading into obscurity, as there are other factors at play, the most prominent is self-development in the aspect that the individual is fascinated rather than cramping an abundance of notes to pass a mid-term test. parents should be more involved in their child's development, especially in their early stages, rather than using school assignments to artificially curb their activities, more effort should be poured into explaining and directing them to healthier behaviors that benefit both sides, without causing any misdemeanor.
in conclusion, although homework can be a good source for brain development, it should not be the definitive method of wasting children's time as they are developing into functional adults of the future
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"recently, students have often been handed some home assignments" -> "Lately, students frequently receive homework assignments"
Explanation: Replacing "recently" with "lately" maintains the sense of timeliness in a more sophisticated manner. "Have often been handed some home assignments" can be refined to "frequently receive homework assignments" for conciseness and clarity.
"a plague on children’s free time" -> "detrimental to children’s leisure time"
Explanation: "Plague" may sound overly dramatic; "detrimental" offers a more formal and precise expression of the negative impact on children’s leisure time.
"there are many reasons why many support the idea" -> "multiple reasons support this notion"
Explanation: "There are many reasons why many" can be simplified to "multiple reasons" for a clearer and more concise expression of the idea.
"note-worthy reason" -> "noteworthy rationale"
Explanation: "Note-worthy" could be replaced by "noteworthy" for a more standard adjective form. "Rationale" also sounds more academically fitting than "reason."
"as learning is most effective when children are curious and have boundless time to experiment and fail" -> "since optimal learning occurs when children are curious and have ample time for experimentation and learning from failure"
Explanation: The revised sentence provides a more detailed and formal explanation, avoiding the colloquial "boundless" in favor of "ample."
"implement the information in real life better as well as academic results" -> "apply the information both practically and academically"
Explanation: "Implement the information in real life better as well as academic results" can be streamlined to "apply the information both practically and academically" for clarity and precision.
"another striking reason worth mentioning" -> "another noteworthy aspect to consider"
Explanation: Substituting "striking reason worth mentioning" with "noteworthy aspect to consider" maintains formality while presenting the idea in a more refined manner.
"parents are always dealing with mischievous activities around the house" -> "parents are consistently managing various activities at home"
Explanation: "Mischievous activities" is quite informal; "managing various activities at home" offers a more neutral and formal expression.
"engaging in more peaceful and rewarding practices for their future can be seen as a ultimate benefit" -> "participating in more constructive and fulfilling activities for their future can be regarded as an ultimate advantage"
Explanation: This substitution enhances the formality of the sentence by replacing "peaceful and rewarding" with "constructive and fulfilling" and refining "ultimate benefit" to "ultimate advantage."
"the tradition of studious youngsters eventually becoming successful adults in the future" -> "the tradition of diligent youths evolving into successful adults"
Explanation: "Studious youngsters eventually becoming successful adults" can be rephrased to "diligent youths evolving into successful adults" for a more sophisticated expression.
"I wholeheartedly support the opposite viewpoint" -> "I staunchly advocate the contrary perspective"
Explanation: "Wholeheartedly support" can be replaced by "staunchly advocate" for a stronger and more formal expression.
"the exemplification of utilizing alternative methods" -> "the demonstration of employing alternative methods"
Explanation: "Exemplification of utilizing" can be replaced by "demonstration of employing" for a more concise and formal construction.
"slowly gravitating towards using AI chatbots" -> "gradually inclining towards employing AI chatbots"
Explanation: "Slowly gravitating towards using" can be refined to "gradually inclining towards employing" for a more formal phrasing.
"the myth of the successful adult is fading into obscurity" -> "the notion of the successful adult is diminishing"
Explanation: "Myth" might imply disbelief; "notion" offers a more neutral and suitable term in an academic context.
"parents should be more involved in their child’s development, especially in their early stages" -> "parents ought to be more engaged in their child’s development, particularly during formative years"
Explanation: "Involved in their child’s development" can be replaced by "engaged in their child’s development" for a more formal tone, and "early stages" by "formative years" for specificity.
"more effort should be poured into explaining and directing them to healthier behaviors" -> "greater emphasis should be placed on elucidating and guiding them toward healthier behaviors"
Explanation: The revised sentence uses more formal language and replaces "poured into" with "placed on elucidating" for clarity and formality.
"without causing any misdemeanor" -> "without resulting in any misbehavior"
Explanation: "Misdemeanor" may connote a legal offense; "misbehavior" provides a clearer and more fitting term in this context.
"it should not be the definitive method of wasting children’s time" -> "it should not be the primary means of consuming children’s time unproductively"
Explanation: "Definitive method of wasting" can be replaced by "primary means of consuming unproductively" for a more formal and precise expression.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately discusses both perspectives on homework—those in favor and against it—before presenting the writer’s own opinion. However, the analysis of these views could be more nuanced and supported with specific examples from the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, consider providing more specific examples from the essay that highlight the different views. Additionally, delve deeper into the nuances of each perspective, offering a more detailed analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. However, there are moments where the expression of the opposing view could be strengthened to create a more balanced and nuanced argument.
- How to improve: Ensure that the opposing view is presented in a way that fully reflects its complexity. Acknowledge the strengths of the opposing argument before presenting counterpoints, adding depth to the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks sufficient development and support. Specific instances where the author could expand on examples or provide additional evidence to bolster their points are evident.
- How to improve: Work on expanding each idea with concrete examples, evidence, or personal experiences. This will not only strengthen the argument but also make the essay more convincing and engaging.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of homework. However, there are instances where the focus could be sharper, and ideas more closely tied to the prompt.
- How to improve: Ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. Avoid tangential discussions that might distract from the main argument. Tighten the focus on the central theme of the essay.
In conclusion, while the essay successfully addresses the prompt, there is room for improvement in terms of providing a more detailed analysis of views, enhancing the presentation of the opposing perspective, strengthening the development of ideas, and ensuring a more focused discussion. Consider incorporating specific examples and evidence to enrich the content and create a more compelling and well-rounded argument.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction presents both views clearly, and each body paragraph addresses a specific reason for supporting or opposing homework. However, there is room for improvement in the sequencing of ideas within paragraphs. For instance, the transition between the reasons supporting homework in the first body paragraph could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transition words more effectively. For instance, use words like "furthermore" or "in addition" to connect ideas and create a more cohesive progression of arguments.
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs adequately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. However, the structure within paragraphs could be refined. Sentences within paragraphs sometimes lack a clear connection, impacting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion is concise but could benefit from a more substantial summary of key points.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. For the conclusion, briefly recap the main arguments to reinforce the essay’s overall stance on the issue.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: Cohesive devices are used to some extent, such as transition words like "although" and "but." However, there is a need for greater variety and precision in the use of cohesive devices. The essay could benefit from more diverse linking words and phrases to strengthen the connections between ideas.
- How to improve: Experiment with a broader range of cohesive devices, including pronouns ("this," "these"), conjunctions, and adverbs. This will create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, pay attention to the coherence of ideas within sentences to ensure a more seamless presentation.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in coherence and cohesion, refining the organization of ideas, improving paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating various phrases and expressions to convey ideas. For instance, phrases like "occupying pupils’ spare time," "exemplification of utilizing alternative methods," "fascinated rather than cramping an abundance of notes," and "artificially curb their activities" showcase a broad lexical repertoire.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases diversity, enhancing the precision and appropriateness of some vocabulary choices could elevate the sophistication of expression. Consider incorporating more specialized terminology related to education or psychology to bolster the depth of discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses vocabulary effectively but occasionally lacks precision. For example, the phrase "a plague on children’s free time" could be refined to convey the detrimental impact more precisely. Additionally, some expressions like "belittling the effort of professors" might benefit from more precise language.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words or phrases that precisely capture the intended meaning. Utilize synonyms or specific terms that align more accurately with the context. For instance, replacing "plague" with a word like "hindrance" or "encumbrance" could refine the impact of the statement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains an acceptable level of spelling accuracy. However, there are instances of misspelled words like "note-worthy" instead of "noteworthy," "mischievous" instead of "mischief," and "mid-term" instead of "midterm."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading meticulously or utilizing spelling check tools. Practicing spelling regularly and paying attention to commonly misspelled words can significantly improve accuracy. Additionally, using online resources or dictionaries to verify spellings would be beneficial.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong lexical resource with a diverse vocabulary range, but it could benefit from increased precision in word choice. Spelling accuracy is generally adequate, although more attention to proofreading and utilizing tools for verification would further enhance the overall quality of the writing. Incorporating more specialized vocabulary and refining the precision of language would strengthen the essay’s expression and depth.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a mix of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in sentence variety. The predominant use of simple sentences can make the essay seem monotonous. For example, consider the repetition of sentence structures in the second paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, try incorporating compound and complex sentences. Vary the length and complexity of sentences to create a more engaging and sophisticated flow. Introduce subordination and coordination to express ideas more effectively.
Use Grammar Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar, but there are instances of grammatical errors throughout. For instance, "a plague on children’s free time" should be "a plague on children’s free time" or "a plague to children’s free time." Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "as their child can learn and focus on contemplating the subject of today’s lesson."
- How to improve: Carefully proofread the essay to identify and correct grammatical errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage. When revising, read each sentence aloud to ensure clarity and coherence. Consider seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-checking tools to catch overlooked mistakes.
Use Correct Punctuation:
- Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally used appropriately, but there are instances where it could be refined for better clarity. For example, in "more effort should be poured into explaining and directing them to healthier behaviors that benefit both sides, without causing any misdemeanor," a comma after "sides" would enhance comprehension.
- How to improve: Focus on the proper use of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks to clarify sentence structure and aid reader understanding. Review punctuation rules, particularly regarding compound sentences and introductory elements. Practice incorporating punctuation marks effectively to enhance overall writing precision.
Overall, the essay demonstrates competence in grammatical range and accuracy, earning a Band Score of 6. To improve further, pay close attention to sentence structure variety, grammatical precision, and refined punctuation usage.
Bài sửa mẫu
Recently, students have frequently received homework assignments from their schoolteachers, aiming to enhance their grades in various subjects. I hold the viewpoint that these assignments are unnecessary and encroach upon children’s leisure time.
There are compelling reasons supporting the notion of assigning tasks to students at home. Notably, this practice is believed to broaden their understanding by encouraging independent research, tapping into the fact that optimal learning thrives when children are curious and have ample time for experimentation and learning from mistakes. This method allows them to delve deeper into topics and apply the information both practically and academically, fostering a better grasp of the subject matter. Additionally, it’s argued that such assignments provide a respite for parents, enabling their children to focus on the day’s lesson, easing the burden of managing various activities at home. Furthermore, proponents of homework assert that the tradition of diligent youths evolving into successful adults is upheld through consistent learning and self-development during their formative years.
However, despite the multitude of arguments favoring homework, I staunchly advocate the contrary perspective. A primary concern revolves around the demonstration of alternative methods in completing tasks. For instance, there’s a gradual shift among college students toward utilizing AI chatbots to resolve assignments, sidelining the efforts of educators in teaching essential theories and problem-solving approaches. While this trend may expose students to a wider range of information, it risks diminishing the value of actively engaging with educational material. Moreover, the prevailing notion of successful adulthood is undergoing a shift, with self-development now being considered more pivotal than the mere accumulation of knowledge for assessments. Hence, I contend that parents should take a more active role in their child’s development, especially during their formative years, emphasizing the elucidation and guidance toward healthier behaviors that benefit both sides without resulting in any misbehavior.
In conclusion, while homework serves as a potential avenue for cognitive development, it should not be the primary means of consuming children’s time unproductively. Instead, greater emphasis should be placed on fostering a balanced approach that encourages learning while allowing ample time for other constructive and fulfilling activities, thereby nurturing well-rounded individuals poised for a successful future.