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Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability. Others believe that there are more important factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability.
Others believe that there are more important factors.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary society, the debate over whether physical ability plays a predominant role in sports or if there are more important aspects to the key to success in sports is ongoing. Both opinions have their own merits, and while physical strength distinguish the position of competitors in myriad sports and prevent player from serious injuries, I believe that intelligence, flexibilities and strategies give the player substanstially more advantages.

It is undeniably true that competing in various sports would inquires a lot of physical strength. First and foremost, physical strength is a fundamental factor to rank the players, since this is the most conventional and effective method.For example, a football player with better resistance and strength can performance better than a normal player since they can last longer in the field as well as experiencing less energy reduction.Subsequently, a player need to have a sufficient amount of resistence and physical strength for the injuries that happens regularly, which can sometime result in an indefinite accidents.
On the contrary, proponents argue that physical strength is not the only key to success in sports. Noticeably, there are numerous factors that contribute to victory such as intelligence, flexibility and strategies . A compelling reason for this is that various sports does not inquire a lot of strength but mainly other aspects. For instance, chess and other related sports required a lot of critical-thinking skills, while badminton and table tennis inquire flexibility. Not only that, more complex sports such as baseball, football and basketball utilize strategies tremendously.In addition, balancing these fields will help the competitor to have more advantages than others, which can leads to a less challenging victory.

To sum up, while physical strength is essential as it helps ranking the player ability and deter them from injuries, in my opinion a player need to balance every aspects rather than focusing on physical strength. Many sports would requires the player to have a sharp mind, flexibility and great strategies. Accumulating all these skills will help the athlete becoming more successful in sports.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "physical ability" -> "physical prowess"
    Explanation: Replacing "physical ability" with "physical prowess" adds a more sophisticated term, aligning with formal language often used in academic contexts.

  2. "prevent player" -> "prevent players"
    Explanation: Changing "prevent player" to "prevent players" corrects the grammatical error and ensures agreement in number between the subject and verb.

  3. "flexibilities" -> "flexibility"
    Explanation: Correcting "flexibilities" to "flexibility" maintains the singular form, enhancing precision and adherence to formal language.

  4. "substanstially" -> "substantially"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "substanstially" to "substantially" ensures proper usage and maintains the formal tone of the essay.

  5. "inquires" -> "requires"
    Explanation: Replacing "inquires" with "requires" corrects the verb choice, making the sentence more grammatically accurate and formally appropriate.

  6. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: Substituting "First and foremost" with "Primarily" adds variety to the language and enhances the formality of expression.

  7. "player need" -> "players need"
    Explanation: Changing "player need" to "players need" ensures grammatical accuracy and aligns with standard usage in academic writing.

  8. "resistence" -> "resistance"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "resistence" to "resistance" ensures proper usage and maintains the formal tone of the essay.

  9. "inquires a lot of" -> "demand a significant amount of"
    Explanation: Replacing "inquires a lot of" with "demand a significant amount of" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  10. "player can performance" -> "player can perform"
    Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error in "player can performance" to "player can perform" ensures clarity and adherence to formal language.

  11. "experience less energy reduction" -> "experience reduced energy depletion"
    Explanation: Substituting "experience less energy reduction" with "experience reduced energy depletion" results in a more formal and precise expression.

  12. "a player need" -> "a player needs"
    Explanation: Changing "a player need" to "a player needs" ensures grammatical accuracy and aligns with standard usage in academic writing.

  13. "inquires a lot of" -> "require a significant amount of"
    Explanation: Replacing "inquires a lot of" with "require a significant amount of" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  14. "sometime" -> "sometimes"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "sometime" to "sometimes" ensures proper usage and maintains the formal tone of the essay.

  15. "an indefinite accidents" -> "indefinite accidents"
    Explanation: Removing the article "an" before "indefinite accidents" corrects the grammatical error and ensures proper usage.

  16. "proponents argue" -> "proponents argue that"
    Explanation: Adding "that" after "proponents argue" creates a grammatically complete and more formal sentence structure.

  17. "inquires" -> "require"
    Explanation: Replacing "inquires" with "require" ensures proper verb usage, contributing to the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.

  18. "Noticeably" -> "Notably"
    Explanation: Substituting "Noticeably" with "Notably" provides a more formal transition, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  19. "does not inquire" -> "do not require"
    Explanation: Changing "does not inquire" to "do not require" ensures subject-verb agreement and proper usage in the plural context.

  20. "critical-thinking skills" -> "critical thinking skills"
    Explanation: Removing the hyphen in "critical-thinking" to create "critical thinking skills" aligns with standard usage and maintains a formal tone.

  21. "inquire flexibility" -> "require flexibility"
    Explanation: Replacing "inquire flexibility" with "require flexibility" ensures proper verb usage and maintains the formal tone of the essay.

  22. "utilize strategies tremendously" -> "employ strategies significantly"
    Explanation: Substituting "utilize strategies tremendously" with "employ strategies significantly" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  23. "balancing these fields" -> "balancing these aspects"
    Explanation: Changing "balancing these fields" to "balancing these aspects" maintains clarity while using a more precise and formal term.

  24. "can leads to" -> "can lead to"
    Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement from "can leads to" to "can lead to" ensures grammatical accuracy and adherence to formal language.

  25. "less challenging victory" -> "a less challenging path to victory"
    Explanation: Expanding "less challenging victory" to "a less challenging path to victory" maintains formality and provides a clearer expression of the idea.

  26. "accumulating" -> "developing"
    Explanation: Replacing "accumulating" with "developing" adds variety to the language and maintains a formal tone.

  27. "athlete becoming" -> "athlete becoming"
    Explanation: Adding "an" before "athlete becoming" corrects the article usage, ensuring proper grammar and formality.

  28. "successful in sports" -> "successful in their sporting endeavors"
    Explanation: Expanding "successful in sports" to "successful in their sporting endeavors" adds formality and clarity to the concluding statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is undeniably true that competing in various sports would inquires a lot of physical strength. First and foremost, physical strength is a fundamental factor to rank the players, since this is the most conventional and effective method.For example, a football player with better resistance and strength can performance better than a normal player since they can last longer in the field as well as experiencing less energy reduction.Subsequently, a player need to have a sufficient amount of resistence and physical strength for the injuries that happens regularly, which can sometime result in an indefinite accidents."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While you rightly emphasize the importance of physical strength in sports, the paragraph lacks clarity and coherence. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. Consider restructuring the sentences to improve flow and coherence. For instance, break down the points into separate sentences and provide more specific examples to illustrate your arguments. Also, be cautious about grammar and spelling errors.
    • Improved example: "Undoubtedly, physical strength plays a crucial role in various sports. For instance, in football, players with better resistance and strength often outperform their counterparts, as they can endure longer in the field and experience less fatigue. Additionally, sufficient physical strength is essential to prevent injuries that occur regularly, reducing the risk of accidents on the field."
  2. Quoted text: "On the contrary, proponents argue that physical strength is not the only key to success in sports. Noticeably, there are numerous factors that contribute to victory such as intelligence, flexibility and strategies . A compelling reason for this is that various sports does not inquire a lot of strength but mainly other aspects. For instance, chess and other related sports required a lot of critical-thinking skills, while badminton and table tennis inquire flexibility. Not only that, more complex sports such as baseball, football and basketball utilize strategies tremendously.In addition, balancing these fields will help the competitor to have more advantages than others, which can leads to a less challenging victory."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your argument here is sound, emphasizing the importance of factors beyond physical strength. However, the expression and organization can be refined for better clarity. Break down the points into distinct sentences and avoid run-on sentences. Also, provide more specific examples and elaborate on how intelligence, flexibility, and strategies contribute to success in different sports.
    • Improved example: "Contrary to the belief that physical strength is the sole determinant of success in sports, proponents assert that victory relies on a combination of factors, including intelligence, flexibility, and strategic thinking. Various sports highlight different skills; for instance, chess demands critical-thinking skills, while badminton and table tennis prioritize flexibility. Moreover, complex sports like baseball, football, and basketball heavily rely on strategic planning. Balancing proficiency in these diverse areas offers competitors a distinct advantage, leading to a more achievable path to victory."
  3. Overall: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, to improve your Task Response score, focus on refining your expression, ensuring coherence, and providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Keep in mind the importance of clear paragraph structures and proper grammar.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas coherently with an overall progression. The introduction sets up the discussion, and there’s an attempt to address both sides of the argument. However, there are instances where cohesion is lacking between sentences, affecting the overall flow. Paragraphing is attempted but lacks consistency and logical organization in places.

How to improve: Focus on clearer sentence-to-sentence connections to improve cohesion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme, and work on maintaining logical progressions between ideas. Implement more consistent and effective paragraphing to enhance the overall structure of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. The writer uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. While there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.

The essay showcases a variety of vocabulary related to the topic of sports, such as "resistance," "flexibility," "strategies," and "critical-thinking skills." The use of phrases like "undeniably true," "compelling reason," and "accumulating all these skills" contributes to the fluency and flexibility of expression.

However, there are minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as "a football player with better resistance and strength can performance better" (perform better) and "inquires a lot of physical strength" (requires a lot of physical strength). Additionally, there are occasional spelling errors, such as "substanstially" (substantially) and "resistence" (resistance). These errors, though present, are infrequent and do not significantly detract from the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to eliminate minor errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling. Additionally, they could enhance lexical variety by incorporating more diverse and sophisticated vocabulary related to the specific aspects of sports and success. It would also be beneficial to further develop the depth of analysis in discussing the role of intelligence, flexibility, and strategies in sports.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, including the use of subordinate clauses and compound sentences. There is evident control over grammar and punctuation, with only a few errors. However, the essay falls short of a higher band score due to occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that slightly impede communication. The use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, and the essay successfully discusses both perspectives on the role of physical ability in sports, providing examples to support the points made.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the author should pay closer attention to sentence structure, ensuring that complex sentences are used effectively. Reviewing the essay for minor errors and awkward phrasing would further refine the language. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and refining the expression of ideas could contribute to a more polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The ongoing debate in contemporary society revolves around the significance of physical ability in determining success in sports versus other crucial factors. Each perspective has its merits. While physical strength distinguishes competitors and safeguards against injuries, I maintain that intelligence, flexibility, and strategic prowess provide players with substantially more advantages.

It is undeniably true that participating in various sports demands a considerable amount of physical strength. Firstly, physical strength is a fundamental factor for ranking players, being the most conventional and effective method. For instance, a football player with superior resistance and strength can outperform a regular player by lasting longer on the field and experiencing less energy depletion. Furthermore, players need sufficient resistance and physical strength to guard against injuries, which can sometimes result in indefinite accidents.

However, proponents argue that physical strength is not the sole key to success in sports. Notably, numerous factors contribute to victory, such as intelligence, flexibility, and strategies. This is evident in sports that do not heavily rely on strength. For example, chess and related activities demand critical-thinking skills, while badminton and table tennis require flexibility. Additionally, more complex sports like baseball, football, and basketball employ strategies extensively. Balancing these aspects provides competitors with an edge, leading to a less challenging path to victory.

In conclusion, while physical strength is essential for ranking players and preventing injuries, I believe that a player should focus on balancing every aspect. Many sports require a sharp mind, flexibility, and excellent strategies for success. Accumulating these skills will enable athletes to become more successful in sports.

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