Some people believe that technology has had a negative impact on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Nowadays, technological advancements are made to help us communicate. However, many believe that it has a detrimental effect on social relationships. I partly disagree with this statement.
On the positive side, the advancement of technology allows people to stay in touch with friends and family despite geographical distances. For instance, many people use Zoom, Skype, or Facebook apps to hold regular virtual meetings. This enables them to see each other's faces, share experiences in real-time, and maintain a sense of closeness regardless of their physical separation. Additionally, hi-tech has created a support network, allowing individuals with similar interests or challenges to connect and support each other. As an example, there are numerous online communities or forums for individuals dealing with specific health issues, including mental health problems where members can share their experiences, offer advice and provide emotional support. As a result, this can strengthen social relationships.
On the other hand, technological developments still have some limitations. Firstly, using technical devices or apps can distract people during conversations. For example, the allure of social media can easily sidetrack individuals from discussions. Consequently, this distraction can lead to feelings of neglect and frustration, potentially damaging relationships in society. In addition, technology can increase isolation by replacing face-to-face interactions with digital ones. For example, a teenager who spends hours on social media each day may feel increasingly isolated from their family and friends due to the lack of meaningful, in-person interactions. Consequently, this reliance on digital communication can weaken social bonds and contribute to a sense of loneliness.
In conclusion, while technological advancements have significantly enhanced our ability to stay connected and support one another across distances, they also pose challenges to social relationships.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"made to help us communicate" -> "developed to facilitate communication"
Explanation: "Developed to facilitate communication" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone by avoiding the vague and informal "help us communicate."
"many believe" -> "many individuals believe"
Explanation: Adding "individuals" specifies the subject, enhancing the formality and precision of the statement.
"partly disagree" -> "partially disagree"
Explanation: "Partially" is the correct adverbial form for expressing partial disagreement, aligning better with formal academic language.
"the advancement of technology" -> "technological advancements"
Explanation: "Technological advancements" is a more precise and formal term, suitable for academic writing.
"many people use" -> "numerous individuals utilize"
Explanation: "Numerous individuals utilize" is more formal and precise, replacing the casual "many people use."
"hold regular virtual meetings" -> "conduct regular virtual meetings"
Explanation: "Conduct" is a more formal verb than "hold," fitting better in an academic context.
"hi-tech" -> "hi-tech"
Explanation: "Hi-tech" is an informal term and should be avoided in academic writing. It is better to use "advanced technology" or "cutting-edge technology" for formality.
"created a support network" -> "established a support network"
Explanation: "Established" is a more formal verb than "created," which is more commonly used in academic texts.
"numerous online communities or forums" -> "numerous online communities and forums"
Explanation: Using "and" instead of "or" correctly indicates that both communities and forums are being discussed, enhancing clarity and formality.
"dealing with specific health issues" -> "addressing specific health issues"
Explanation: "Addressing" is a more precise and formal verb than "dealing with," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"can distract people during conversations" -> "can divert individuals during conversations"
Explanation: "Divert" is a more precise term than "distract," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" for formal writing.
"the allure of social media" -> "the allurements of social media"
Explanation: "Allurements" is the plural form of "allurement," which is more appropriate when referring to multiple attractive qualities or features, enhancing the formal tone.
"can easily sidetrack individuals" -> "can readily sidetrack individuals"
Explanation: "Readily" is a more formal synonym for "easily," aligning better with academic style.
"feelings of neglect and frustration" -> "feelings of neglect and frustration"
Explanation: This is a minor correction to maintain parallel structure and enhance readability by using the same verb form for both "neglect" and "frustration."
"replacing face-to-face interactions" -> "supplanting face-to-face interactions"
Explanation: "Supplanting" is a more formal and precise term than "replacing," fitting the academic context better.
"reliance on digital communication" -> "dependence on digital communication"
Explanation: "Dependence" is a more precise term than "reliance," which is somewhat vague and less formal in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on social relationships. The writer clearly states a partial disagreement with the notion that technology has a wholly negative impact, which is a nuanced position. The essay provides examples of how technology facilitates communication and support networks, as well as how it can lead to distractions and isolation. However, the response could be more robust by explicitly stating the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement, as the prompt asks for a clear position on this spectrum.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clarify their position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion. For instance, they could state whether they lean more towards the positive or negative impacts and provide a brief rationale for this stance. Additionally, addressing the specific extent of agreement or disagreement (e.g., "I mostly disagree with the statement, as I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks") would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the introduction, stating that the author "partly disagrees" with the statement. However, the clarity of this position could be improved throughout the essay. While the writer discusses both sides, the balance between positive and negative impacts could lead to ambiguity regarding their overall stance. The conclusion reiterates the dual nature of technology’s impact but does not decisively lean towards one side.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should consistently reference their stance when discussing each point. Phrases like "Despite these drawbacks, I believe…" can help reinforce their viewpoint. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main arguments while clearly stating the writer’s final position on the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the use of video conferencing tools and online support communities. However, the development of these ideas could be more extensive. For instance, while the examples are pertinent, the essay could benefit from deeper analysis of how these technologies specifically enhance or detract from social relationships. The mention of distractions and isolation is a good start, but further elaboration on the implications of these issues would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more in-depth analysis for each point made. For example, after presenting an example, they could explain why that example is significant in the context of social relationships. Additionally, integrating statistics or studies related to technology’s impact on social interactions could provide further support and credibility to the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the impact of technology on social relationships. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For instance, while the mention of distractions is relevant, the essay could benefit from a more direct connection to how this specifically affects relationships rather than just stating it as a general issue.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the prompt. They could use topic sentences that clearly relate back to the impact of technology on social relationships. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements and instead honing in on specific aspects of social relationships would help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, clarifying the position, extending the analysis of ideas, and maintaining focus will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas, presenting both sides of the argument in a clear manner. The introduction succinctly states the writer’s position, while the body paragraphs are structured to first highlight the positive aspects of technology on social relationships and then address the negative implications. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of technology in maintaining connections to the drawbacks of distractions and isolation is smooth and coherent. However, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly outline the main idea of each paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One significant advantage of technology is its ability to facilitate communication across distances." This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader and reinforce the logical progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, with the first addressing the positive impacts of technology and the second discussing the negative effects. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to enhance the overall flow. For instance, the shift from the benefits to the drawbacks feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph transitions, consider using linking phrases or sentences that connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, at the end of the first body paragraph, you could include a sentence like, "Despite these benefits, it is essential to acknowledge the potential downsides of technology on social interactions." This would create a smoother transition and reinforce the relationship between the two contrasting viewpoints.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "additionally," and "on the other hand," which contribute to the clarity and coherence of the argument. These devices help to signal examples and contrast between ideas effectively. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are moments where repetition occurs, particularly with phrases like "for example."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "for example," you could use alternatives such as "to illustrate," "as an illustration," or "specifically." Additionally, varying the use of contrasting phrases, such as "in contrast" or "alternatively," can enhance the essay’s cohesiveness and prevent redundancy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are specific areas for improvement that can elevate the overall quality. By refining the organization of ideas, enhancing paragraph transitions, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can achieve a higher level of clarity and coherence in their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of technology and social relationships. Terms like "detrimental," "geographical distances," "support network," and "meaningful interactions" are effectively employed. However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "technological advancements" and "social relationships," which appear multiple times without variation.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "technological advancements," alternatives like "technological innovations" or "digital progress" could be utilized. Additionally, varying the expression of "social relationships" with terms like "interpersonal connections" or "social bonds" would enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the allure of social media" effectively conveys the idea of distraction, yet the term "hi-tech" in "hi-tech has created a support network" is somewhat vague and informal compared to more specific terms like "advanced technology" or "digital platforms."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to select words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. For instance, instead of "hi-tech," using "advanced communication technologies" would provide clarity. Additionally, ensuring that terms accurately reflect the context will enhance the overall effectiveness of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no significant errors that impede understanding. Words like "detrimental," "geographical," and "experiences" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in regular spelling practice can also be beneficial. Furthermore, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in English can help prevent errors in future essays.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy. By incorporating a broader range of vocabulary, selecting more precise terms, and continuing to focus on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "This enables them to see each other’s faces, share experiences in real-time, and maintain a sense of closeness regardless of their physical separation" showcases the ability to convey multiple ideas effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay. For example, the phrase "technological developments still have some limitations" could be rephrased to incorporate a more varied structure, such as "Despite their benefits, technological developments present certain limitations."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more varied introductory phrases, such as "In addition to this," or "Moreover," to connect ideas. Additionally, incorporating more passive voice constructions or conditional sentences could add complexity. For instance, instead of stating "technology can increase isolation," you might say, "If technology is relied upon excessively, it may lead to increased isolation." This approach will not only enhance the variety but also deepen the analysis.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors. For example, the use of commas in lists is accurate, as seen in "Zoom, Skype, or Facebook apps." However, there are minor grammatical issues, such as the phrase "the advancement of technology allows people to stay in touch," which could be more concise if rephrased to "technological advancements allow people to stay in touch." Additionally, the use of "hi-tech" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with "advanced technology" for a more academic tone.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay for conciseness and clarity. Pay attention to word choice and ensure that terms used are appropriate for an academic context. Furthermore, practicing the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as subjunctive mood or inversion, can improve overall accuracy and sophistication. For example, instead of stating "many believe that it has a detrimental effect," consider "many believe that technology may have a detrimental effect." This subtle shift can enhance the nuance of the argument.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve an even higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, technological advancements are developed to facilitate communication. However, many individuals believe that it has a detrimental effect on social relationships. I partially disagree with this statement.

On the positive side, the advancement of technology allows people to stay in touch with friends and family despite geographical distances. For instance, numerous individuals utilize Zoom, Skype, or Facebook apps to conduct regular virtual meetings. This enables them to see each other’s faces, share experiences in real-time, and maintain a sense of closeness regardless of their physical separation. Additionally, hi-tech has established a support network, allowing individuals with similar interests or challenges to connect and support each other. As an example, there are numerous online communities and forums for individuals addressing specific health issues, including mental health problems, where members can share their experiences, offer advice, and provide emotional support. As a result, this can strengthen social relationships.

On the other hand, technological developments still have some limitations. Firstly, using technical devices or apps can divert individuals during conversations. For example, the allurements of social media can readily sidetrack individuals from discussions. Consequently, this distraction can lead to feelings of neglect and frustration, potentially damaging relationships in society. In addition, technology can increase isolation by supplanting face-to-face interactions with digital ones. For example, a teenager who spends hours on social media each day may feel increasingly isolated from their family and friends due to the lack of meaningful, in-person interactions. Consequently, this dependence on digital communication can weaken social bonds and contribute to a sense of loneliness.

In conclusion, while technological advancements have significantly enhanced our ability to stay connected and support one another across distances, they also pose challenges to social relationships.