Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact. Discuss both views and give opinions.

While it is argued that the presence of economical aviation reap a plethora of advantages by paving the way for foreign travel, others believe that this exerts detrimental effects. This essay aims to justify both views before contending that this is a fundamentally positive development.

Opponents of the given statement point to the fact that the prevalence of economical airlines may have a deleterious impact on the environment. This can be elucidated by the fact that due to the cheap prices of the airlines, people become increasingly accessible to travel by planes, which leads to the substantial increase in the number of boardings. Therefore, the amount of fuel emitted by airplanes serves as a catalyst for environmental degradation.

However, despite the given pitfalls, the more accessible availability of cheap aviation reap numerous benefits, chief of which is contributing to the growth of tourism and economy. Specifically, the economical price of air travel facilitates people to travel longer without being worried about the burden of ticket prices. Thus, places can attract more people, which lays the groundwork for the enhancement of tourism, as a result, this can boost the country’s economy simultaneously.

In conclusion, although economical aviation harmfully affects the current environment, I would reiterate that this is a positive propensity as this can boost the turnovers of tourism and develop the country’s economy.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"economical aviation reap a plethora of advantages" -> "economic aviation offers numerous advantages"
Explanation: Replacing "reap" with "offers" corrects the verb tense to match the passive construction, and "plethora" might be considered overly dramatic for academic writing; "numerous" is more precise and formal.
"paving the way for foreign travel" -> "facilitating international travel"
Explanation: "Paving the way" is an idiom that may be too informal for academic writing. "Facilitating" is a more direct and formal term that conveys the intended meaning.
"this exerts detrimental effects" -> "this has detrimental effects"
Explanation: "Exerts" is not typically used with "effects" in this context; "has" is the correct verb form for describing the presence of effects.
"this is a fundamentally positive development" -> "this is a fundamentally beneficial development"
Explanation: "Positive" can be vague and less formal; "beneficial" is more specific and academically appropriate.
"the prevalence of economical airlines" -> "the proliferation of economic airlines"
Explanation: "Prevalence" typically refers to the widespread occurrence of something, whereas "proliferation" specifically denotes an increase in number or spread, which is more precise in this context.
"people become increasingly accessible to travel by planes" -> "people become more accessible to air travel"
Explanation: "Increasingly accessible to travel by planes" is awkward and verbose; "more accessible to air travel" is concise and maintains the formal tone.
"the amount of fuel emitted by airplanes serves as a catalyst for environmental degradation" -> "the increased fuel emissions from airplanes serve as a catalyst for environmental degradation"
Explanation: "The amount of fuel emitted" is vague; "the increased fuel emissions" specifies the context more clearly. Also, "serve" is more appropriate than "serves" for the plural subject "emissions."
"the economical price of air travel facilitates people to travel longer" -> "the affordable prices of air travel enable longer travel"
Explanation: "Economical" is redundant when used with "price," and "facilitates people to travel longer" is awkward; "enable longer travel" is more direct and formal.
"without being worried about the burden of ticket prices" -> "without worrying about the financial burden of ticket prices"
Explanation: "Being worried" is passive and less formal; "worrying" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing.
"lays the groundwork for the enhancement of tourism" -> "paves the way for the development of tourism"
Explanation: "Lays the groundwork" is a less formal idiom; "paves the way" is a more precise and formal expression.
"this can boost the turnovers of tourism" -> "this can boost tourism revenue"
Explanation: "Turnovers" is not typically used in this context; "revenue" is the correct term for financial gains in tourism.
"harmfully affects" -> "negatively affects"
Explanation: "Harmfully" is not a standard adverb form; "negatively" is the correct adverb for describing adverse effects.
"this is a positive propensity" -> "this is a positive trend"
Explanation: "Propensity" is not typically used to describe ongoing developments; "trend" is more appropriate for describing ongoing patterns or changes.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views on the impact of economical air travel – the benefits and the drawbacks. It discusses the positive aspects of making international travel more accessible as well as the negative effects on the environment. However, the conclusion only focuses on the positive aspects and does not fully address both views as required by the prompt.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that the conclusion reflects a balanced discussion of both perspectives presented in the essay. Consider summarizing the main points of both the benefits and drawbacks before stating your opinion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that economical air travel has more benefits than drawbacks. The stance is consistent throughout the essay, with the author clearly stating their opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the author’s position on the issue in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. This can help reinforce the argument and make the position more apparent to the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the benefits and drawbacks of economical air travel, such as the impact on the environment and the boost to tourism and economy. However, the development of these ideas is limited, with minimal elaboration or examples provided to support the arguments.
- How to improve: To improve, expand on each idea by providing specific examples, statistics, or real-life scenarios to support the claims made in the essay. This will strengthen the arguments and make them more persuasive to the reader.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the impact of economical air travel on international travel accessibility and its effects on the environment and economy. However, there are some instances where the discussion could be more focused and directly related to the prompt.
- How to improve: To stay on topic more effectively, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt and the specific aspects of economical air travel being discussed. Avoid tangents or unrelated information that detracts from the main argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It starts with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views, followed by paragraphs discussing the negative impact and benefits of economical air travel. However, the transition to the conclusion could be smoother to tie back to the initial discussion of both views.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different points, but the structure within the paragraphs could be improved. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear topic sentences or transitions, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: Focus on developing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader on the main idea. Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single point cohesively before moving on to the next idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "while," "however," and "in conclusion," to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns (it, they, this), conjunctions (and, but, so), and transitional phrases (on the other hand, for instance). This will help create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with words like "plethora," "deleterious," "elucidated," "catalyst," "propensity," etc. These words add depth and sophistication to the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the vocabulary range, consider incorporating more specialized terms related to the topic of aviation and environmental impact. For example, terms like "carbon footprint," "sustainable aviation," "emissions reduction," etc. can enrich the vocabulary even more.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, but there are a few instances where more precise word choices could be beneficial. For instance, instead of saying "substantial increase," consider using "significant rise" for more precision.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to the context in which words are used and choose synonyms or terms that convey the intended meaning with greater accuracy. Thesaurus tools can be helpful in finding more precise alternatives.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is mostly accurate, with only a few minor errors like "reap" instead of "reap" and "boardings" instead of "boarders." Overall, the spelling accuracy is commendable.
- How to improve: To maintain high spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully before submission. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools can help catch any overlooked spelling errors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence variety. For example, the essay tends to rely heavily on simple sentences, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less engaging. Additionally, more complex sentence structures like conditional sentences or inverted sentences could be incorporated to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating a variety of sentence types such as compound-complex sentences, parallel structures, and varied sentence beginnings. This will not only make the essay more engaging but also showcase a higher level of language proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy overall. However, there are some instances of errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For example, in the sentence "the presence of economical aviation reap a plethora of advantages," the verb "reap" should be in the past tense as "reaped." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors such as missing commas in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper punctuation usage. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help catch and correct these errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor to identify and address recurring grammar issues.

Bài sửa mẫu

While it is argued that economic aviation offers numerous advantages by facilitating international travel, others believe that this has detrimental effects. This essay aims to justify both views before contending that this is a fundamentally beneficial development.

Opponents of the given statement point to the fact that the proliferation of economic airlines may negatively affect the environment. This can be elucidated by the fact that due to the affordable prices of the airlines, people become more accessible to air travel, which leads to a substantial increase in the number of boardings. Therefore, the increased fuel emissions from airplanes serve as a catalyst for environmental degradation.

However, despite the given pitfalls, the more accessible availability of cheap aviation offers numerous benefits, chief of which is contributing to the growth of tourism and the economy. Specifically, the affordable prices of air travel enable longer travel without worrying about the financial burden of ticket prices. Thus, places can attract more people, which paves the way for the development of tourism, and this can boost tourism revenue, consequently benefiting the country’s economy.

In conclusion, although economic aviation harmfully affects the current environment, I would reiterate that this is a positive trend as it can boost tourism revenue and contribute to the development of the country’s economy.