Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more
works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.
To what extent do you agree?

The idea of investing government funds in placing more works of art in towns and cities to enhance their appeal is a topic that prompts varying opinions. While there are merits to this proposal, I still strongly disagree with this suggestion.

Advocates of this notion argue that art installations in public spaces can significantly contribute to the aesthetics and cultural richness of towns and cities. They may well argue that such initiatives can create visually pleasing environments, possibly fostering a sense of community and attracting tourists. Furthermore, public art can serve asc, heritage, and values, promoting a sense of pride among residents. This can be seen in Vietnam where several sculptures of heroes and historical figures are displayed in squares or roundabouts so that their citizens can remember the contributions made by those people.

Nevertheless, I am firmly against this policy for reasons related to the deterioration of artworks and the presence of more pressing issues. Regarding th installations e former, exposure to harsh weather elements like rain, snow, and sunlight can cause fading, corrosion, or other forms of damage to the artworks, thereby reducing its aesthetic appeal. This issue may be exacerbated due to acts of vandalism or graffiti on these installations which can significantly diminish the visual appeal and overall impact of art pieces. Another argument is that there are more pressing issues that demand government attention and financial resources. Focusing on art installations might be seen as a luxury expenditure rather than addressing the immediate needs of the population.

In conclusion, while the idea of enhancing towns and cities with more art installations might seem appealing at first glance, it may not be the most prudent way for governments to allocate limited resources.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "placing more works of art" -> "installing additional artworks"
   Explanation: The phrase "placing more works of art" is a bit informal. "Installing additional artworks" is a more formal and precise expression for the context of enhancing public spaces.

2. "While there are merits to this proposal, I still strongly disagree with this suggestion." -> "Although there are merits to this proposal, I vehemently disagree with it."
   Explanation: "While" is slightly informal; replacing it with "Although" maintains formality. "I still strongly disagree" can be refined to "I vehemently disagree" for a more emphatic and academic tone.

3. "They may well argue" -> "Advocates may contend"
   Explanation: "They may well argue" is a bit colloquial. "Advocates may contend" is a more sophisticated and formal way to introduce the viewpoint of those supporting the idea.

4. "public art can serve asc, heritage, and values" -> "public art can embody aesthetics, heritage, and values"
   Explanation: "Serve asc" is unclear and informal. Replacing it with "embody" improves clarity and formality.

5. "This can be seen in Vietnam where several sculptures of heroes and historical figures are displayed in squares or roundabouts so that their citizens can remember the contributions made by those people." -> "An example of this is evident in Vietnam, where numerous sculptures depicting heroes and historical figures are strategically placed in squares or roundabouts, serving as reminders of their contributions."
   Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality. Replacing "This can be seen" with "An example of this is evident" enhances the academic tone.

6. "Regarding th installations e former" -> "Concerning these installations"
   Explanation: "Regarding th installations e former" is a typographical error. Replacing it with "Concerning these installations" corrects the mistake and maintains formality.

7. "Focusing on art installations might be seen as a luxury expenditure rather than addressing the immediate needs of the population." -> "Prioritizing art installations might be perceived as an indulgence, diverting attention from the urgent needs of the population."
   Explanation: The phrase "might be seen as a luxury expenditure" can be refined to "might be perceived as an indulgence," conveying a stronger sense of perception.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument but tends to emphasize disagreement with the proposal to invest in more art installations. It acknowledges the potential benefits of public art, such as aesthetic enhancement, cultural enrichment, and fostering community spirit. However, it mainly focuses on the speaker’s disagreement due to concerns about the deterioration of artworks and the prioritization of pressing issues over art installations.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider exploring the advantages of art installations in greater depth before presenting counterarguments. Balancing the discussion more evenly between the benefits and drawbacks would provide a more comprehensive analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance against the government spending on more art installations. The position is clearly articulated in the introduction and sustained throughout the body paragraphs, demonstrating a firm disagreement with the proposal.
  • How to improve: While consistency is essential, expanding on the opposing viewpoint or acknowledging potential merits of art installations without compromising the primary standpoint can strengthen the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents arguments against investing in art installations, discussing concerns related to artwork deterioration and prioritization of resources. However, the essay lacks depth in elaborating on the potential benefits of public art and could benefit from specific examples or further development of counterarguments.
  • How to improve: To improve, consider providing more detailed examples or anecdotes to support each point. Additionally, expanding on the opposing viewpoint with more nuanced reasoning and specific illustrations can enhance the overall argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay largely remains focused on the topic by discussing the implications and considerations surrounding the proposal to invest in art installations. However, there are areas where the discussion could be more directly linked to the prompt, especially when presenting arguments against the proposal.
  • How to improve: Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear connection to the central theme of art installations in cities. Also, when discussing opposing arguments, relate them more explicitly to the extent of agreement or disagreement with the prompt.

General Advice for Improvement:

1. Balance of Perspectives: Aim for a more balanced discussion by elaborating on the positive aspects of art installations before presenting counterarguments. This provides a more comprehensive analysis and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.

2. Development of Ideas: Strengthen the essay by providing specific examples or case studies to support arguments. This enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of the points presented.

3. Relevance to Prompt: Ensure that all arguments and examples directly relate to the topic of government spending on art installations in cities. This clarity of focus can boost the overall coherence and relevance of the essay.

4. Consider Counterarguments: Acknowledge opposing viewpoints without deviating from the main stance. This showcases a broader understanding and critical evaluation of the issue at hand.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a more nuanced and balanced discussion while maintaining a clear and consistent position throughout, potentially elevating the overall band score for Task Response in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction presenting the topic and the author’s stance. The body paragraphs follow a cohesive structure, presenting arguments against the idea of government spending on art installations. The conclusion summarizes the key points effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a more detailed roadmap in the introduction, outlining the main points that will be discussed in the body paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and coherent progression of ideas, building on the previous one.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly structured, and transitions between them could be smoother to improve overall coherence.
  • How to improve: Pay attention to the structure of each paragraph, ensuring a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through the flow of ideas more smoothly. Consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures for better readability.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, including transition words and phrases (e.g., "Nevertheless," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"). These contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of cohesive devices.
  • How to improve: Experiment with a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns, parallel structures, and varying sentence lengths. This will add richness to the essay’s cohesion. Additionally, ensure that the use of cohesive devices aligns with the overall flow of the argument, creating a seamless connection between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in coherence and cohesion. To improve, focus on refining the logical organization, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with the use of varied and sophisticated language. For instance, phrases such as "aesthetics and cultural richness," "fostering a sense of community," and "heritage and values" showcase a nuanced vocabulary. Additionally, the mention of "prudent way for governments to allocate limited resources" reflects a high level of lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: While the essay already employs a wide range of vocabulary, occasional redundancy in the use of certain terms can be noted. For instance, the phrase "aesthetic appeal" is repeated in the discussion of potential damage to artworks. Introducing synonyms or exploring alternative expressions in such instances could further enhance the lexical variety.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. For example, the use of "asc" instead of "as" seems to be a typographical error, and it is advisable to correct such instances for precise communication. Moreover, the term "installations" is used multiple times, and while appropriate, considering alternatives like "art fixtures" or "sculptures" could add more specificity in certain contexts.
  • How to improve: Paying attention to typographical errors and considering alternative terms in repetitive contexts can contribute to even greater precision in vocabulary usage. This involves proofreading to catch minor errors and consciously choosing varied expressions when discussing similar ideas.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout, with only one apparent typo, "asc" instead of "as." This does not significantly impact the overall spelling accuracy, and the spelling of more complex terms like "aesthetics" and "prudent" is correct.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to carefully proofread the essay to catch any minor typos or errors that might have been overlooked. Additionally, employing spell-check tools can serve as an effective measure to ensure flawless spelling in the final draft.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, marked by a diverse range of terms and precise usage. Attention to minor errors and further exploration of alternative expressions in certain contexts can contribute to refining the lexical resource even more.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay showcases a commendable attempt at varied sentence structures. However, there’s room for further diversity. It employs complex sentences with dependent clauses ("While there are merits to this proposal, I still strongly disagree with this suggestion") and employs contrastive structures ("Advocates…Nevertheless, I am firmly against…"). Incorporating compound-complex sentences or using inversion for emphasis could enhance the structural variety.

  • How to improve: Consider incorporating compound-complex sentences by integrating more independent and dependent clauses for better cohesion and complexity. Additionally, experiment with inverted sentence structures for emphasis and variety.

• Use Grammar Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally sound grasp of grammar. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement ("regarding th installations e former") and article usage ("serving asc, heritage, and values"). These instances slightly impede the overall clarity and precision of expression.

  • How to improve: To address subject-verb agreement, focus on proofreading to catch missing or misplaced elements. Practice using articles more accurately to ensure clearer and more precise expression.

• Use Correct Punctuation:

  • Detailed explanation: Punctuation usage is generally adequate. However, there are minor issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("Regarding th installations e former") and inconsistent use of commas in compound sentences.

  • How to improve: Focus on the consistent use of commas after introductory phrases for better readability. Practice using commas effectively in compound sentences to maintain clarity and coherence.

Overall Feedback:
The essay effectively presents arguments both for and against the idea of government spending on art installations. To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider implementing more diverse sentence structures, ensuring precision in grammar usage, and refining punctuation for increased clarity. Remember, clarity and precision in expression play a crucial role in achieving higher band scores in IELTS essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The concept of utilizing government funds to introduce additional artworks in towns and cities, aiming to augment their allure, elicits diverse opinions. While there are merits to this proposal, I respectfully hold a differing perspective.

Proponents of this idea may contend that incorporating art installations in public spaces can significantly enhance the aesthetics and cultural richness of towns and cities. They argue that such initiatives can create visually pleasing environments, fostering a sense of community and potentially drawing in tourists. Additionally, public art can embody aesthetics, heritage, and values, cultivating a sense of pride among residents. An illustrative example of this is evident in Vietnam, where numerous sculptures depicting heroes and historical figures are strategically placed in squares or roundabouts, serving as reminders of their contributions.

However, I vehemently disagree with this policy, primarily due to concerns related to the degradation of artworks and the presence of more pressing issues. Concerning these installations, exposure to harsh weather elements such as rain, snow, and sunlight can lead to fading, corrosion, or other forms of damage, thereby diminishing their aesthetic appeal. This issue may be compounded by acts of vandalism or graffiti, significantly reducing the visual appeal and overall impact of art pieces. Another critical point is that prioritizing art installations might be perceived as an indulgence, diverting attention from the urgent needs of the population.

In conclusion, while the idea of embellishing towns and cities with additional art installations may initially seem attractive, it may not be the most judicious way for governments to allocate limited resources.