Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.
To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary times, people argue that household garbage is not highly recycled enough. From my perspective, I totally agree that governments should pass laws regarding recycling requirements.
First of all, laws for increasing recycling help to protect the environment. This is mainly because a large number of waste discharged into living spaces is being treated in an unethical way. This trash is burned by fires, which release a huge amount of N2, CO2 out of the air. As a consequence, people’s health will be affected if we absorb such toxic mephitis. If we classify the rubbish into recycle and non recycle items, we can help to reduce air pollution in the place that we live in. Although it is just a small action, we can contribute to solving the pollution.
Furthermore, these legal requirements can also raise citizens’ awareness and even earn money from recycled waste. Humans nowadays tend to ignore rubbish sorting, which brings many shortcomings to the environment. Leaders in nations may have some fines and punishment for families that do not meet the requirements of waste sorting. We can also make money from recycling trash if we sell it to recycling centers. For example, we can collect cans, bottles or cartons and bring them to any stores gathering them. Therefore, governments should participate in this process.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that governments should have laws in terms of increasing recycling for a healthier life and better understanding about the environment. If possible, leaders from different countries should have some suitable policies based on their current development.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"In contemporary times" -> "In the present day"
Explanation: "Contemporary times" is a bit informal for academic writing. "In the present day" maintains the same meaning while sounding more formal. -
"totally agree" -> "strongly agree"
Explanation: "Totally agree" is too informal for academic writing. "Strongly agree" is a more appropriate and formal expression of agreement. -
"laws for increasing recycling" -> "legislation to promote recycling"
Explanation: "Laws for increasing recycling" is somewhat vague. "Legislation to promote recycling" is a more specific and formal phrase. -
"This is mainly because" -> "This is primarily because"
Explanation: "Mainly because" is slightly informal. "Primarily because" is a more formal alternative. -
"waste discharged into living spaces" -> "waste disposed of in residential areas"
Explanation: "Discharged into living spaces" is a bit informal. "Disposed of in residential areas" is a more formal and precise phrase. -
"in an unethical way" -> "improperly"
Explanation: "Unethical" is too strong and not entirely fitting in this context. "Improperly" is a more neutral and suitable term. -
"trash is burned by fires" -> "waste is incinerated"
Explanation: "Trash is burned by fires" is redundant and informal. "Waste is incinerated" is a more formal and concise expression. -
"toxic mephitis" -> "toxic fumes"
Explanation: "Toxic mephitis" is overly formal and not commonly used. "Toxic fumes" is a more natural and appropriate term. -
"classify the rubbish" -> "sort the waste"
Explanation: "Classify the rubbish" is less common in formal writing. "Sort the waste" is a simpler and more appropriate alternative. -
"recycle and non recycle items" -> "recyclable and non-recyclable items"
Explanation: "Non recycle items" is grammatically incorrect. "Non-recyclable items" is the correct form. -
"help to reduce air pollution in the place that we live in" -> "aid in reducing air pollution in our communities"
Explanation: "Help to reduce air pollution in the place that we live in" is awkward and repetitive. "Aid in reducing air pollution in our communities" is more concise and formal. -
"this process" -> "this initiative"
Explanation: "This process" is somewhat vague. "This initiative" is a clearer and more formal term to refer to the recycling efforts mentioned. -
"raise citizens’ awareness" -> "heighten public awareness"
Explanation: "Raise citizens’ awareness" is a bit informal. "Heighten public awareness" is a more formal and precise expression. -
"Humans nowadays" -> "Contemporary society"
Explanation: "Humans nowadays" is overly informal. "Contemporary society" is a more formal and appropriate term. -
"tend to ignore rubbish sorting" -> "tend to neglect waste sorting"
Explanation: "Ignore rubbish sorting" is too informal. "Neglect waste sorting" is a more formal and precise alternative. -
"many shortcomings" -> "numerous drawbacks"
Explanation: "Many shortcomings" is somewhat vague. "Numerous drawbacks" is a more precise and formal term. -
"may have some fines and punishment" -> "may impose fines and penalties"
Explanation: "May have some fines and punishment" is awkward. "May impose fines and penalties" is a more concise and formal expression. -
"different countries should have some suitable policies" -> "different countries should enact appropriate policies"
Explanation: "Have some suitable policies" is too vague. "Enact appropriate policies" is a clearer and more formal phrase. -
"current development" -> "current stage of development"
Explanation: "Current development" is ambiguous. "Current stage of development" clarifies the meaning and is more precise. -
"If possible" -> "Ideally"
Explanation: "If possible" is a bit informal. "Ideally" is a more formal and suitable transition phrase.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by acknowledging the need for increased recycling and advocating for government intervention through legal requirements. It discusses the environmental benefits and the potential for raising awareness and financial incentives.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing more nuanced analysis and examples of how legal requirements specifically impact recycling behavior. Additionally, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered, such as discussing the extent to which laws are necessary rather than solely advocating for them.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position supporting the implementation of recycling laws. The stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion, where the writer consistently advocates for government intervention.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, reinforcing it with stronger reasoning and more persuasive language could further enhance the essay’s impact. Additionally, ensure that all supporting arguments align with the central thesis to avoid ambiguity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the environmental benefits and incentives for recycling laws, supported by examples and reasoning. However, some ideas lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration.
- How to improve: To improve, provide more comprehensive explanations and examples to strengthen each argument. Additionally, consider anticipating counterarguments and addressing them to bolster the essay’s credibility and thoroughness.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the importance of recycling laws and their potential impacts on the environment and society. However, there are instances of minor deviations, such as briefly discussing the consequences of not recycling without directly tying them to the need for laws.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points made directly contribute to the argument for implementing recycling laws. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly support the central thesis.
Overall, while the essay effectively advocates for the necessity of recycling laws, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed analysis, reinforcing the clarity of the position, extending and supporting ideas with stronger evidence, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic throughout the essay. Strengthening these aspects will enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organizing information logically. It follows a standard essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the argument, starting with the environmental impact of recycling laws, then addressing citizens’ awareness and potential financial benefits. However, there are instances of unclear connections between ideas, such as the transition from discussing environmental protection to financial incentives.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Clearly link each point to the main argument of the essay, maintaining a cohesive flow of thought throughout. Additionally, consider restructuring sentences within paragraphs to improve coherence and clarity.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different points and arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as environmental concerns, citizen awareness, and financial benefits. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more detailed explanations and examples, particularly the paragraph discussing financial incentives.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by providing more elaboration and supporting evidence for each point. Consider expanding on ideas and providing concrete examples to enhance the depth of analysis. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence to summarize the key points.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. These devices include transitional phrases such as "first of all," "furthermore," and "in conclusion," which help guide the reader through the essay’s structure. Additionally, pronouns and conjunctions are used to establish relationships between sentences and paragraphs. However, there is a limited use of more sophisticated cohesive devices, such as parallel structures or cohesive referencing.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, diversify the range of cohesive devices used in the essay. Incorporate more sophisticated connectors and transitional phrases to establish stronger connections between ideas. Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and effectively throughout the essay to maintain coherence and clarity. Additionally, pay attention to pronoun reference and ensure that antecedents are clearly identified to avoid ambiguity.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "contemporary times," "unethical," "mephitis," "shortcomings," and "policies." These lexical choices contribute to the richness of the essay and convey the author’s ideas effectively.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a solid vocabulary range, integrating more advanced or nuanced vocabulary where appropriate could further elevate the lexical resource. For instance, instead of "contemporary times," using "modern era" or "current epoch" can add sophistication to the expression.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage varies throughout the essay. There are instances of precise vocabulary usage, such as "trash" and "recycled waste," which convey the intended meanings accurately. However, there are also areas where imprecise language is employed, such as "toxic mephitis," where a clearer term like "noxious fumes" would enhance precision.
- How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that each word chosen precisely conveys the intended meaning. Consider using synonyms or consulting a thesaurus to find the most appropriate term for the context. Additionally, refining technical terms and avoiding jargon can aid in clarity and precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with minimal spelling errors observed. Examples of correct spelling include "environment," "requirements," and "pollution." However, there are a few instances of misspellings, such as "mephitis" instead of "mephitic," and "unethical" instead of "ethically."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofreading the essay thoroughly before submission is essential. Utilize spell-check tools and dictionaries to verify the correct spelling of words, especially technical terms or less common vocabulary. Additionally, practicing spelling through regular writing exercises can aid in improving accuracy over time.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at incorporating varied sentence structures. It employs complex sentences alongside simpler constructions, contributing to the overall coherence and fluency of the essay. For instance, there is a mix of compound and complex sentences, such as "This trash is burned by fires, which release a huge amount of N2, CO2 out of the air." This variety enhances readability and engagement.
- How to improve: While the essay displays a good range of structures, further sophistication could be achieved by integrating more advanced sentence patterns. Consider incorporating parallel structures, conditional sentences, and inversion for added complexity. Additionally, be mindful of the coherence and cohesion of the sentences to ensure seamless transitions between ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation, with minimal errors that do not significantly impede understanding. However, there are instances of grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors throughout the essay. For instance, the phrase "toxic mephitis" should be revised to "toxic fumes" for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, there are some minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing common grammatical structures and rules, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in compound sentences and after introductory phrases. Proofreading the essay thoroughly before submission can help identify and correct such errors, ensuring a polished final draft.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the present day, there is a prevailing concern that not enough household waste is being recycled. This is primarily because waste disposed of in residential areas is often improperly handled, with much of it being incinerated, leading to the emission of toxic fumes. To combat this issue, legislation to promote recycling is crucial.
Legislation to promote recycling not only aids in reducing air pollution in our communities but also serves to heighten public awareness regarding the importance of waste sorting. Contemporary society tends to neglect waste sorting, which has numerous drawbacks for the environment and human health. By implementing laws that may impose fines and penalties on those who fail to sort their waste properly, governments can encourage individuals to take action.
Moreover, such legal requirements can incentivize citizens to participate in recycling efforts by providing opportunities to earn money from recycled waste. For instance, individuals can collect recyclable items such as cans, bottles, or cartons and sell them to recycling centers. This initiative not only promotes environmental sustainability but also generates income for individuals and contributes to the circular economy.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that legislation is needed to increase recycling rates for a healthier life and a better understanding of the environment. Ideally, different countries should enact appropriate policies based on their current stage of development to address this pressing issue.
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