Some people could be naturally good leader. Others believe that people can learn leadership skills. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Many people are born with leadership ability. Others think that people can gain abilities as a leader through training. In my opinion, both views are reasonable and should be considered carefully.
On the one hand, I accept that some people are excellent at being a leader without efford. It is because some characteristics are already appear early in life such as their energy or charisma make them look very trustworthy so that other people will follow them without any doubt. For example, Barack Obama is not very talented but his energy makes people trust him and of course, he gain a lot of success. Beside that, the vision of a leader can not train ordinarily. It is an innately skill which support to your leadership ability. For instance, Elon Musk, an outstanding intrepreneur and investor, he invested in many projects that people did not expect it to be successful. So it is such a tremendous luck with people who are born with leadership ability.
On the other hand, learning capacity for leadership is actually possible. Although it can not be learnt directly but it can be upgrade by another skills such as communication, inspirational or listening skill. A leader must talk to the public regularly so these skills may be useful. Not only that, a leader requires a lot of knowledge and experience. For that, lots of universities will teach you that with your major. A good university will train you well in that two faces. Therefore, you are fully equipped with skills, which support your abilities as a leader.
In summary, I believe that all those aspects are essential. A good leader needs some innate qualities and perfect it with time and practice because “Practice makes perfect”.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Many people are born with leadership ability" -> "Numerous individuals inherently possess leadership abilities"
Explanation: The phrase "Numerous individuals inherently possess leadership abilities" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone by specifying that these abilities are inherent.
"Others think" -> "Others contend"
Explanation: Replacing "think" with "contend" shifts the sentence to a more formal academic stance, implying a reasoned argument rather than a simple opinion.
"excellent at being a leader without efford" -> "naturally adept at leadership without exerting much effort"
Explanation: The phrase "naturally adept at leadership without exerting much effort" is more descriptive and formal, correcting the misspelling of "effort" and avoiding casual language.
"are already appear" -> "already manifest"
Explanation: "Already manifest" is more precise and academically appropriate, removing the grammatical error and enhancing clarity.
"not very talented" -> "not solely reliant on innate talent"
Explanation: The phrase "not solely reliant on innate talent" provides a clearer, more accurate description that avoids the negative connotation of "not very talented," which is too vague and informal for an academic context.
"Beside that" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase that improves the flow of academic writing by linking ideas more effectively.
"can not train ordinarily" -> "cannot be ordinarily trained"
Explanation: "Cannot be ordinarily trained" corrects the grammatical structure and employs a more formal academic expression.
"innately skill" -> "innate skill"
Explanation: Correcting "innately skill" to "innate skill" fixes a grammatical error and uses the correct adjective form to describe the type of skill.
"intrepreneur" -> "entrepreneur"
Explanation: Correcting "intrepreneur" to "entrepreneur" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the correct terminology is used.
"it can not be learnt directly but it can be upgrade by another skills" -> "it cannot be learned directly but can be enhanced through other skills"
Explanation: The revised sentence corrects grammatical errors ("learnt" to "learned," "upgrade" to "enhanced") and removes redundancy, making it more concise and formally appropriate.
"inspirational or listening skill" -> "inspirational and listening skills"
Explanation: Changing "or" to "and" correctly implies that both skills are essential, and using "skills" in plural form acknowledges the complexity and multifaceted nature of these abilities.
"will teach you that with your major" -> "offer instruction in these areas as part of your major"
Explanation: "Offer instruction in these areas as part of your major" is more precise and formal, providing a clearer description of the educational process.
"in that two faces" -> "in these two aspects"
Explanation: "In these two aspects" corrects the awkward and unclear phrase "in that two faces," improving clarity and formality.
“Practice makes perfect” -> "consistent practice leads to perfection"
Explanation: Replacing the idiomatic "Practice makes perfect" with "consistent practice leads to perfection" maintains the original meaning while adopting a more formal academic expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt: the belief in innate leadership abilities and the idea that leadership skills can be acquired through training. It acknowledges the validity of both viewpoints and expresses a personal opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, ensure that each viewpoint is explored more thoroughly. Provide specific examples or evidence for each perspective to bolster the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by stating that both perspectives are reasonable and advocating for a combination of innate abilities and learned skills in leadership.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, articulate a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction that clearly states the stance taken on the issue. Additionally, reinforce this position throughout the body paragraphs by consistently aligning arguments and examples with the stated viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in elaboration and support. While it mentions characteristics of innate leaders and skills that can be developed, it lacks specific examples or detailed explanations to fully extend and support these ideas.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, include specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate points about innate leadership qualities and learned skills. Additionally, provide more thorough explanations or analysis to enhance the development of ideas and strengthen the argument overall.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the dichotomy between innate leadership abilities and learned skills. However, there are instances where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, such as the mention of universities teaching various skills unrelated to leadership.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points discussed directly relate to the topic of leadership abilities and skills. Avoid introducing tangential ideas or examples that do not directly contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there are areas for improvement in providing more thorough analysis, offering specific examples, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic throughout the essay. Strengthening these aspects will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. Ideas are presented in a somewhat sequential manner, with separate paragraphs discussing each viewpoint. However, transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, leading to a slightly disjointed flow. For example, the shift from discussing innate leadership qualities to discussing the importance of learning capacity could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect thoughts more seamlessly. Additionally, strive for a clearer progression of ideas within each paragraph to maintain coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument, such as discussing innate leadership qualities and the possibility of learning leadership skills. However, paragraph structure could be improved for better clarity and coherence. Some paragraphs lack a clear topic sentence or focus, making it challenging for the reader to follow the development of ideas.
- How to improve: Focus on developing each paragraph around a central idea or argument, clearly stated in a topic sentence. Ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence, with supporting sentences that directly relate to the topic sentence. Consider revising paragraph breaks to create more logical divisions between ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" to indicate shifts between viewpoints. However, the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices could be strengthened. There’s a need for a more diverse range of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond basic transitional phrases. Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional adverbs to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to reinforce the logical flow of ideas and maintain coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on enhancing these aspects, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, thereby improving overall clarity and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It employs vocabulary related to the topic, such as "leadership ability," "innately," "entrepreneur," and "vision." However, there is repetition and some imprecise word choices that limit the variety, such as the frequent use of "ability" and "skill."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and exploring more nuanced expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "ability" or "skill," experiment with alternatives like "aptitude," "competence," or "proficiency." Additionally, incorporate specialized terminology related to leadership theory and practice to enrich the vocabulary further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary precisely, such as in mentioning "innately skilled" and "leadership ability." However, there are instances of imprecise language, like describing Barack Obama as "not very talented," which may convey a different meaning than intended. Also, the phrase "a tremendous luck with people" is unclear and could be more precisely articulated.
- How to improve: Aim for greater clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "not very talented," consider a more accurate description, such as "not initially perceived as exceptionally gifted." Similarly, clarify ambiguous phrases like "a tremendous luck with people" to ensure the intended meaning is communicated effectively. Using adjectives and adverbs more selectively can also contribute to precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally satisfactory, with only minor errors observed. However, there are some misspellings and typographical errors, such as "intrepreneur" instead of "entrepreneur" and "efford" instead of "effort."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling checkers or proofreading tools to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practicing spelling through regular writing exercises and reviewing common spelling patterns and rules can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in lexical resource, refining vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy can elevate the clarity and sophistication of expression, contributing to a more cohesive and polished piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the structures further to enhance the overall fluency and sophistication of the essay. For instance, while there are instances of complex sentences, they could be used more consistently throughout the essay to add variety and depth to the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence constructions, such as using relative clauses, conditional sentences, or inverted sentences. Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can contribute to a more engaging and coherent writing style. Pay attention to sentence structures in model essays or academic texts to get a better sense of how to diversify your own writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are noticeable errors throughout the essay that affect clarity and precision. For example, there are instances of subject-verb agreement errors ("Some people could be naturally good leader"), tense inconsistency ("Beside that, the vision of a leader can not train ordinarily"), and punctuation errors ("…without efford.").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and practice grammar rules systematically. Focus on areas of weakness, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper punctuation usage. Utilize grammar resources, grammar-checking tools, or seek feedback from peers or instructors to identify and correct errors effectively. Additionally, proofreading your writing carefully before submission can help catch and rectify any grammatical mistakes. Consider revising sentences that sound awkward or unclear to ensure coherence and precision in your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals inherently possess leadership abilities, while others contend that leadership skills can be learned. In my opinion, both views hold merit and warrant careful consideration.

On one hand, numerous individuals are naturally adept at leadership without exerting much effort. Certain characteristics, such as energy and charisma, already manifest early in life, making them appear trustworthy and capable of garnering followers effortlessly. For example, Barack Obama, though not particularly talented, gained widespread trust and success due to his energy and charisma. Additionally, the visionary aspect of leadership cannot be ordinarily trained; it is an innate skill that supports one’s leadership abilities. Elon Musk, an eminent entrepreneur and investor, exemplifies this as he successfully invests in projects that others may not anticipate to be fruitful. Hence, it appears to be a stroke of tremendous luck for those born with such leadership abilities.

On the other hand, the capacity to learn leadership skills is indeed plausible. While leadership cannot be learned directly, it can be enhanced through the development of other skills, such as communication, inspiration, and listening. Effective communication with the public, for instance, necessitates these skills. Moreover, leadership requires a wealth of knowledge and experience, which can be acquired through education. Many universities offer instruction in these areas as part of your major, ensuring that individuals are equipped with the necessary skills to excel in leadership roles.

In conclusion, I believe that both innate qualities and learned skills are crucial for effective leadership. Individuals must refine their innate abilities with time and practice, as the adage goes, “Practice makes perfect.”